Satire: What A Long Strange Star-Spangled Banner It's Been

Part of: O Caption! My Caption!

Welcome to "O Caption! My Caption!" Blogcritics' examination of news, sports, and politics by utilizing the most efficient and time-saving method: looking at pretty pictures and deducing what happened based on the pixels.

↑ Ricky Hatton, foreground, fails to knock out opponent Manny Pacquiao after he wastefully used up all his stars on Von Kaiser in the earlier round. (AP Photo/Rick Bowmer)

↑ The Dead sang the national anthem before the Giants game. As a result, the game was delayed 42 minutes. (AP Photo/David Zalubowski)

↑ Fans in Cuyahoga County Court cheer on the key witness in a murder trial. The favorable home crowd will not be there for the witnesses when they hold Trial 3 in the opponents' home court of inner-city Brooklyn. (AP Photo/Mark Duncan)

↑ Washington Capitals star Alexander Ovechkin learns from his past celebratory mistakes by leaping into the huddle with his skates facing out. (AP Photo/Gene J. Puskar)

↑ In a new tiebreaker format, Indy 500 hopeful rookie driver Stanton Barrett prepares for the infield joust to win the affection of the fair Maid Danica. (AP Photo/Tom Strickland)

↑ With times as financially troubling as they are today, Chinese tennis player Jie Zheng is forced to play in the Italian Rome Master tournament without a racket. (AP Photo/Gregorio Borgia)

↑ During Game 1 of the Lakers' series against the Houston Rockets, Pau Gasol livens up the crowd with a soliloquy from his favorite Saturday Night Live sketch, Unfrozen Caveman Power Forward. (AP Photo/Matt Sayles)

↑ In an experiment conducted by Xavier University, it turns out that, yes, Reds pitcher Edinson Volquez DOES urinate after having a baseball bat thrown at him. (AP Photo/Wilfredo Lee

↑ A visibly shaken Manny Ramirez signals to the dugout for a pinch runner, as he believes to be already dilating. (AP Photo/Gus Ruelas)

What do YOU think happened this week in sports? Provide your own captions in the comments below and we'll feature some of the best captions.

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Article Author: Matthew T. Sussman

Sussman is the founder and former editor of Blogcritics Sports. Twitter: @suss2hyphens

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