WHAT THE FUCK. NOOOOOOOO!!!! I fucking picked up Neifi Perez last night?! Motherfuck me! This is a nightmare. No. Yahoo needs to have a cancel button or something. I'll just drop Neifi and pick Bay up again. What the fuck do you mean I can't pick him up until he's off waivers?! What the fuck is that supposed to mean?! I might need to go throw up.
Okay, Adam. Think. Think. Neifi's eligible for three positions. That's good. So what if he only has one home run? That's the same as Bobby Abreu, and everyone drafted him. Plus, uh, the fact that all four of his RBI's came in one game? Um... that just makes him, uh, streaky. That's it, he's a real live wire, that Neifi.
I'm going to be sick.
It's not like Jason Bay was any good, either, right? I mean, sure, he's miles ahead of Neifi at every conceivable statistic, but it's early. Maybe Neifi can reclaim that Colorado magic. Maybe he'll get traded back to Colorado. You never know.
I need to go puke. Right now. Get to the bathroom right now. HURKKKK---oh fucking hell, is that what I think it is? Okay, yeah, that's definitely a dead cop in our bathtub.
I am really never drinking Jagermeister again.
Article comments
1 - Matthew T. Sussman
You didn't have whiskey that night, or else you woulda wound up with Kevin Millar.