Satire: Drinking And Fantasy Baseball Do Not Mix

What time is it? Good lord, it's 1:30 in the afternoon. I need to get up. Am I... yep, I'm at home. Thank God. My mouth tastes like an old lady took a dump in it. Let's get up. Oh, Jesus. I should not have tried to stand up. I think I just twisted my ankle and fell on a cat. Since when did we have a cat? And why is it spray-painted?! My head hurts like crazy. I drank WAY too much last night. Why did we keep ordering shots? What good did that do? Ugh. I am never drinking Jagermeister again.

Um. Why is my computer on? That's not right. I hope I didn't talk to Kim on AOL after I got back. That would be disast--yeah, I sure did.

IowaDawgBOOYA187 (4:14:13 AM): heyy abby i am durnk you shouldd have been at the barr we did SO MAnyt shts. did ievre tell you your hot we shouldhang out. ar eyou78 up? come over her for a moi]]movie we can warch weahtever. yiu ahsuld just stay herrr
Auto Response from SpecialK21484 (4:14:14 AM): bed, leave a message!
SpecialK21484 (8:37:25 AM): um, ew

Yeah, I am definitely never going to talk to her again. Maybe she'll laugh it all off. Probably not.

Ha, I also left my Yahoo! fantasy baseball page up. I bet I was talking some serious shit. I love those guys.

HAHAHAHAHA CHAMPPS
by: Round Trippin (xiowaxstudx420x)
May 13 4:27am
YJIO A ALL DOOMDE STA PRIJNTJNBG UP TGHE T SHIRTS NOWS!!!!!!!1 PABLO UR GAY


 


Message: 84 of 84.

Wait a second. Hold on. Why does it say I... oh no. No. No. No. No.

 5/13Neifi Perez (Det - 2B, 3B, SS)AddFree AgentsRound Trippin
 
 5/13 Jason Bay (Pit - OF)DropRound Trippin
Free Agents

Continued on the next page Page 1 — Page 2

Article tags

Spread the word
Bookmark and Share
Profile image for adam-jacobi

Article Author: Adam Jacobi

Adam Jacobi has been described as a poor man's Doug Gottlieb, which means he can start looking forward to hitting at least 40% of his free throws.

Visit Adam Jacobi's author pageAdam Jacobi's Blog

Read comments on this article, and add some feedback of your own

Article comments

  • 1 - Matthew T. Sussman

    May 14, 2007 at 12:56 am

    You didn't have whiskey that night, or else you woulda wound up with Kevin Millar.

Add your comment, speak your mind

Personal attacks are NOT allowed.
Please read our comment policy.
Please preview your comment.

blogcritics lists for Nov 12, 2009

fresh articles Most recent articles site-wide

fresh comments Most recent comments site-wide

most comments Most comments in 24hrs

top writers Most prolific Blogcritics for October

top commenters Most prolific Commenters in 24 hrs