“I’m just so relieved he’s agreed to again share the road.”
Less excited are Randall’s fellow cyclist friends, all of whom are clearly disappointed that he’s hanging up his endangering-himself-and-those-around-him shoes. “Some people view cyclists like us who use traffic lanes as mere suggestions as risks to traffic safety who lack even the smallest amount of common sense,” said Spencer Darlington.
“That’s pure nonsense. In all the years I’ve been cycling with him, I can count the number of near-scrapes and minor vehicular accidents he’s directly caused on my two hands, two feet, and your left hand, counting the thumb. Randall’s biking safety record speaks for itself, except for that one time he collided with the manure truck. No shit!”
Darlington also views his friend’s decision as a sign that things are no longer like the good old days of 2005, when he first met Randall. “He was part of that breed of cyclist who just knew that the roads were built specifically for bikers, not two-ton gas-fueled behemoths traveling at ungodly speeds.
“When I wanted to ignore a stop sign, Randall was there for me. When I wanted to use the chicken lane as my own personal raceway, Randall supported me. When I wanted to bike on the interstate instead of the national park one mile from my house, Randall encouraged me.
I won’t wildly approach a blind turn from the center lane with fearless abandon without thinking of him. It’s truly the end of an era.”
Article comments
1 - Chris "UZ" White
Ahahahaha. That was great.
2 - bliffle
Randall would probably be delighted if motorists returned the favor.