Satire: Anderson Varejao is The Third Man Again - Page 3

"Might keep losing games. Don't think they'd look at me as a savior for the Cavs when you hit... rock bottom."

"We're matching your contract demands. You're going to be a Cavalier."

Varejao considers this for a long time. "Mm hmm. Pity." Varejao grins and winks at Ferry. "Danny, what fools we are, talking to each other this way as if I'd do anything to the Cavs or you." Varejao closes the door, letting Ferry extract his arms from the frame first. "Or you to me. You're just a little mixed up about things in general. Nobody thinks in terms of human beings. Fans don't, so why should we? They talk about the team and the love of the game; I talk about the suckers and the mugs. It's the same thing. The Cavs have their five-year plan; so have I."

"You used to believe in the Cavs."

"Oh, I still do believe in the Cavs, old man. I believe in the Cavs and self-sacrifice and all that, but the fans are happier losing. They don't miss much that way, poor devils." Varejao draws '<3 Cavs fans' into the frosty window pane and then taps the pane rather self-consciously. "What do you believe in, Danny?"

The ride ends, naturally. The men step off, Ferry trailing behind with an aimless gait. Varejao continues. "Oh, if you ever get the fans out of this mess, be kind to them; they're worth it." Varejao applies another dab of hair gel to his head. "I wish I had asked you to bring me some of this gel from America. Danny, I'd like to help you out, old man. There's nobody in Spain left I can really trust and we've always had success together, right?. When you make up your mind, send me a message; I'll meet you any place, anytime. And when we do meet, it's me you want to see, not Brian Windhorst. Remember that, won't you?"

Varejao chuckles at his own wit; Ferry remains crestfallen. "Don't be so gloomy, Danny. After all, it's not so awful. You know what the fella says: 'In Italy, for thirty years under the Borgias, they had warfare, terror, murder, bloodshed — they produced Michelangelo, Leonardo da Vinci and the Renaissance. In Switzerland, they had brotherly love, they had five hundred years of democracy and peace, and what did that produce? Thabo Sefolosha.' So long, Danny."

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