Satire: Anderson Varejao is The Third Man Again

SCENE: Seville, Spain - An American waits next to La Noria Panoramica De Sevilla, a 60m tall Ferris wheel. An old man plays a jaunty yet haunted tune on a klezmer, quite out of place. The old man's breath hangs in the unusually chilly Seville air. As the American tosses away a gnawed and gnarled toothpick, he spots his man striding happily towards him. He brings himself to full size, trying to regain some dignity with the pose.

"Hello, Danny; how are you?"

"Hello, Anderson."

"Well, well; everyone seems to be giving you quite some busy time."

"Listen..."

"Mmm, yes?"

"I want to talk to you."

"Talk to me? Well, of course!" Varejao pats Ferry on the back with a fraternal ferocity. "Come on."

Both men hand a bill to the Ferris wheel operator and enter the box for the ride. Neither sit.

"Kids used to ride this thing a lot in the old days, but they haven't the money now."

"Listen, Anderson, I didn't believe it."

Varejao smirks. "Good to see you, Danny."

"I heard about Charlotte's offer sheet."

"That was pretty smart, wasn't it?" Varejao pauses and fusses with his hair in the window reflection, applying a small amount of gel pulled from a round container found in his coat pocket. "Oh, the same old frizzy hair, Danny. The only thing that helps is this gel. This is the last. You can't get it anywhere in Europe."

"You know what's happened to your team?"

"Hmm?"

"9 and 11. Five game losing streak."

"Tough, eh? Don't worry, old man; they'll come back."

"LeBron is out."

"What can I do, old man? I'm dead to them all."

"You can help some. You can come back and be the third man again. Seriously, do you think it'll be Larry Hughes?" Laughter fills the Ferris wheel carriage.

Varejao's eyes twinkle. Ferry shifts his weight from foot to foot and looks at the wooden floor. "Danny, exactly who did you tell about my contract demands, hmm?"

"I told the media."

Varejao glowers. "Unwise, Danny."

"And the fans."

"Did the media believe you?"

"You don't care anything at all about the fans, do you?"

"Ha ha. I've got quite a lot on my mind."

Ferry raises his voice, rattling the cheap windows of the Ferris wheel carriage. "You wouldn't do anything!"

"What do you want me to do? Be reasonable."

"You could get Fagan to..."

"Do you expect me to give up my chance at a payday?"

Article Author: Tuffy

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