I went 6-10 last week straight up, and...uh...5-10-1 against the spread (again). That puts me at 22-26 straight up for the season, and 17-29-2 against the spread. For a comparison, check out the "experts" over at ESPN.
Here are my picks for the NFL's Week Four:
*Thursday, September 27*
Cleveland 0-3 at Baltimore 2-1/8:20 p.m. [Line: Ravens by 13]
Prediction: After a number of questionable calls in the first half, two of the replacement officials stagger on to the field with visible facial bruising to begin the third quarter. Ray Lewis denies any knowledge of what happened, but curiously the uniform he started the game with is never found.
-RJ's Pick: Baltimore by 9
*Sunday, September 30*
Carolina 1-2 at Atlanta 3-0/1:00 p.m. [Line: Falcons by 7]
Prediction: This one goes to overtime. Before the coin toss, Carolina WR Steve Smith calls heads. When the coin lands heads up, the replacement officials confer for several minutes to discuss whether or not that actually is the heads side of the coin. Once they have concluded that it is, they then debate whether they are supposed to count the side of the coin that is visible, or the side of the coin that's on the ground. By the time they figure out that it's the side facing up that counts, they've forgotten what Steve Smith had called. At this point Cam Newton completely loses his shit, picks up the football, and throws it as hard as he can directly into the crotch of the referee, like a scene from The Longest Yard. Atlanta is awarded the ball and goes on to win the game. Ed Hochuli, who was watching the game at home, is hospitalized with sympathy pains.
-RJ's Pick: Atlanta by 3
New England 1-2 at Buffalo 2-1/1:00 p.m. [Line: Patriots by 4]
Prediction: Bill Belichick, apparently not having learned his lesson after making contact with an official last week, attempts to garrote the side judge with a ligature of chain after a phantom pass interference call.
-RJ's Pick: New England by 8
Minnesota 2-1 at Detroit 1-2/1:00 p.m. [Line: Lions by 4.5]
Prediction: Each team is awarded unlimited time outs, and the game concludes just before midnight.
Article comments
1 - C2E
This has to be your best overall effort I can remember. I was laughing out loud on Page 1!
The comments were creative and consistently funny throughout. Another one or two weeks like this, and I'm lobbying for you to replace Rob Riggle (whose performance level on the Fox Pregame Show thus far has been similar to that of the replacement refs).
Thanks for humor!
2 - RJ
Final Score:
Ravens 23, Browns 16 - RJ 1-0 [1-0 ATS]
3 - RJ
Final Scores:
ATL 30, CAR 28 - RJ 2-0 (2-0 ATS)
NE 52, Bills 28 - RJ 3-0 (3-0 ATS)
4 - RJ
Final Scores:
Vikes 20, Lions 13 - RJ 3-1 (3-1 ats)
SD 37, KC 20 - RJ 4-1 (4-1 ats)
Rams 19, SEA 13 - RJ 4-2 (4-2 ats)
SF 34, Jets 0 - RJ 5-2 (5-2 ats)
HOU 38, Tennessee 14 - RJ 6-2 (5-3 ats)
5 - zingzing
skol vikings! (again!)
6 - RJ
Final Scores:
CIN 27, JAX 10 - RJ 7-2 (6-3 ATS)
Arizona 24, Miami 21 (in OT) - RJ 8-2 (6-4 ATS)
Denver 37, Raiders 6 - RJ 8-3 (6-5 ATS)
7 - RJ
Final Score:
GB 28, NO 27 - RJ 9-3 (7-5 ATS)
8 - RJ
Final Score:
Washington 24, TB 22 - RJ 10-3 (8-5 ATS)
9 - RJ
Final Score:
Philly 19, Giants 17 - RJ 10-4 (8-5-1 ATS)
10 - RJ
Final Score:
Bears 34, Dallas 18 - RJ 11-4 (9-5-1 ATS)
11 - RJ
ESPN's experts in Week Four:
Allen
11-4
Golic
11-4
Hoge
14-1
Jaworski
10-5
Mortensen
14-1
Schefter
11-4
Schlereth
11-4
Wickersham
11-4
Jackson
11-4
Johnson
12-3
Ditka
12-3
Carter
9-6
Accuscore
11-4
Pick 'em
11-4
12 - RJ
RJ through four weeks:
Straight up - 33-30
Against the spread - 26-34-3
13 - RJ
ESPN's experts through four weeks:
Allen
36-27
Golic
38-25
Hoge
36-27
Jaworski
35-28
Mortensen
45-18
Schefter
39-24
Schlereth
35-28
Wickersham
41-22
Jackson
33-30
Johnson
37-26
Ditka
34-29
Carter
35-28
Accuscore
35-28
Pick 'em
37-26