Reds/Phillies: How I Ruined Jon Lieber's Perfect Game

Pregame:

This hasn’t been the best of weeks for me. Rain has gotten in the way of a couple visits to Great American Ball Park, and I, in a weak moment, turned off Thursday night’s game against the Washington Nationals in a moment of disgust, before the improbable Reds’ comeback in the bottom of the 11th.

On Saturday night, my best friend Rob and his girl were going to go to the game against the surging Philadelphia Phillies. They already had tickets in the front of section 102 in left-center field. With the Reds drawing about the same number of people as a Bowling Green women's basketball (that joke is for Suss), I thought I would meet them down there and have absolutely no trouble sitting by them.

It spat rain the entire day, and the Doppler radar did not look promising. Up until the very last minute, I contemplated backing out. I don’t know what it was, but something was holding me back.

I finally decided to hedge my bets and head down to the Queen City. It continued to rain the entire way there. I pulled into the city and turned to park in my usual spot on the street a couple of blocks from the stadium but all the spots were taken. It’s engrained in me as a Sandwasher to avoid paying for parking at all costs. Something is in my chemical makeup to avoid paying to park. I furiously drove around the city for the next twenty minutes like Michael Douglas in Falling Down. I finally had to bite the bullet and pay to park. Somebody was going to pay!

The lack of parking did not clue me on the next few negative chain of events.

Still oblivious, as I ran to the stadium, I could not help but notice a remarkable (for the Reds) number of people walking up to the stadium as the game was about to begin. I assumed it was due to the rain and the newly implemented Saturday 6:10 starts.

I scurried to the ticket window, and as usual, asked for the cheapest ticket ($5). Like I’ve mentioned before, with the lack of fan support, virtually every seat in the stadium is fair game, so it would be unwise to spend top-dollar on a ticket. I learned that the Reds had sold out both the $5 dollar seats and the bleacher seats ($9). I was stupefied. I ended up paying $12 to get into the game and I had to pay $5 for parking. Typically, I can get in and out of the city minus $5. Today, I had already exceeded that figure by $12 and I had not gotten anything cool out of it.

As I entered the stadium and endured a quick anal cavity search, I realized the true reason for of all the fans, err, patrons. It was not due to the first place Reds or the red-hot Phils. Most of the 32,000 in attendance showed up for, drum roll please, “Adam Dunn Figurine Night!”

I will totally take the blame for this one. If there is one thing that will bring people out to a Reds game, it is a cheap $2 toy made by little Vietnamese children with carpal tunnel. I avoid these nights like the plague because it brings out droves of yahoos trying to obtain a collectable that is no longer a hot commodity, but, I failed to check the Reds’ calendar for special events. I deserved my wretched fate in purgatory. I had no one to blame but myself.

Article Author: M.D. Sandwasher

Blogcritics' M.D. Sandwasher moonlights as a freelance writer and is an avid lover of sports and music. He regularly contributes to Blogcritics and maintains his own blog.

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