Fifth grade was a zenith year when it came to this writer's sports accomplishments. Awards (read: participation) in both bowling and basketball topped the mantle. Then again, this wasn't high school. Places were allowed to have more than one team. Once seventh grade rolled around, these dubious events called "tryouts" began determining who played. Needless to say, Lil' Stumbles didn't have a chance to even sniff the bench, because that spot was reserved for Lil' Stumbles taller best friend, Lanky McClanky.
Fortunately, with the Internet, everyone can recapture those lost moments without making their own homemade, poor quality trophies. Sent to me by righteous contributor Geeves, there's a website out there called Prep Sportswear that pretty much lets you generate any apparel with your high school's name, mascot, and colors on it. For bonus points, it appears to have a near comprehensive number of middle school, junior high, and elementary schools. (I checked for my preschool. No dice.)
Now, I doubt I'd drop $20 on a t-shirt, even if it does have some novelty value, but here's where it gets fun.
In my former life I traveled to a lot of small towns, and with it I saw many hilarious mascots. The best of them all was the Centralia (Illinois) High Orphans. Sure enough, they're on there, abandoned children and all. The only factual error is that the women sports teams are actually nicknamed the Annies.
Five years ago, you may remember the ESPN commercials starring the Watersmeet Township (Michigan) Nimrods which ended with the phrase, "Without sports, who would cheer for the Nimrods?" Well, they have those too. Although the school doesn't receive a dime, they seemed to do pretty well for themselves already.
The other hilarity in this is that the site seems, for the most part, unmoderated. You can submit any kind of team whatsoever into the database, and shirts can be made from it. For example, there appears to be a slow pitch softball team in California called the Chainsaw Sex Vikings. Perhaps not. But haven't you always wanted a t-shirt for your fake sports team? Here, you have my permission.
But if you're not about spreading lies and fiction, then you can just hunker down in reality and say, "Of course I made the team in seventh grade. Otherwise, why would I have an Arbor Hills Junior High Roadrunners basketball sweatshirt?"
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Article comments
1 - Brian
I see American companies have learned the cheap knockoff ways of the Far East.
My grade school's mascot (the Warriors) is correct, but they use the wrong "Warrior" logo. Ours was a full head dress exploitation.
For some reason, my high school, which essentially has the same name as my grade school, changes mascots to the Eagles.
It's good to see that the "out of a guys trunk" marketplace has finally hit the Internet.
2 - Philip
Thanks for the mention. We've added "Annies" as a mascot in the Centralia High store on our site, so anyone can choose that if they want.
Philip Smith
Prep Sportswear
3 - El Bicho
Bowling is not a sport
4 - Glen Boyd
....But wrestling is.
-Glen
5 - roger nowosielski
You mean arm wresting?
6 - Matthew T. Sussman
Bowling absolutely qualifies as a sport. They give away trophies. Don't take this away from Lil' Stumbles.
7 - Phillip Winn
Lil' Stumbles can get a custom trophy made online for a real sport, like darts. :-)
This is a great find. I'm debating whether to surprise my wife with a basketball sweatshirt from her high school.
8 - Darlene Riley
I think this trend is deplorable. In fact,I am the daughter of Elliott R Hughes of the Elliott R Hughes Elementary School, New Hartford, NY. Recently my family was shocked to discover that this company - Prep Sportsware was marketing products that were NOT authorized by the school and that misrepresented the school by misspelling my father's name -- it is NOT Elliot but Elliott -- while this may seem a small matter - it is in fact a very large one in terms of history and in terms of what my Father would have wished. At this point, it has become a matter for the district Legal office -- but we are also pushing to stop this practice -- at the very least make sure that schools and people are not misrepresented by this kind of sleazy business practices. Thank you for listening
9 - Customer!
@#8...
Those were interesting comments. Maybe your school is an exception. I happened to get the link to Prep Sportswear STRAIGHT OFF OUR SCHOOL'S WEBSITE...
And what is sleazy about it?? They are not cheap! And last I checked, my school does not have a manufacturing business in the basement, so where pray tell should we as parents get the logo clothing?
10 - John
WARNING: Prep Sportswear is not a good company to do business with. There return policy is brutal and the sizes they list ion their items are not accurate. If you order a shirt, thinking you ordered the correct size and it runs too large or too small on you, too bad. They will not accept a return even if the size chart is wrong. BUYER BEWARE!!
11 - M Yost
Save yourself. [edited] I should have done my homework. They say its a custom ordered piece, which it was not. Basic School Initials which they did not get that right. If I could save one more person from getting burned. 50 bucks waisted on a flimsy sweatshirt that The printing for my Childs High School is incorrect I ordered a large for my son who is in high school they sent me a large childs. DO NOT BUY FROM THIS COMPANY ONLY ORDER FROM YOUR SCHOOL STORE OR ATHLETIC DEPARTMENT Which I may add, May be better quality and you can see what your getting. BUYER BEWARE. In this day and age who can afford to have money taken from them?
12 - P O'Niell
I think it is time to turn them over to the AG's office for false and misleading advertising.
13 - Rufus Greenjeans
Should have consulted this page before placing my order. I ordered 3 pieces from these crooks and have yet to receive anything. No use calling the 800 number, it ultimately leads nowhere, the live chat is a sandtrap.
Have notified the Washington AG and BBB.
14 - Kristen
I just ordered West Point Academy sweatshirts and they are awful. The quality of the lettering and logo are basic and awkward looking. It looks as if they were done with a craft kit.