I woke up in the morning with a serious headache. Almost like a zombie, I slowly made my way to the coffee and after going through the news and first cigarette of the day which is always holy and pious, I gradually started to make sense of what's happening around me.
Then, as if it's my time for enlightment, I realized two things. Today is Friday and two Game Sixes are going to be played; quite coincidentally, the teams that were scheduled to meet at the NBA finals (The Pistons and the Spurs) will be fighting just to stay alive.
And tonight the Edmonton Oilers are opening their Western Conference Finals series against the Anaheim Mighty Ducks at Arrowhead Pond, which I believe is somewhere in Anaheim. This is serious business for a lot of people. The pride of a country that only cares about the game of hockey rests squarely on the shoulders of the Oilers who started off as the No. 8 seed. It turns out that it is also my responsibility to cheer for them which I am happy to do as long as my hockey friends are going to buy me the beer. Yes, buying me off is that easy.
(Wait a second — no, it won't work for curling.)
Every time I watch a hockey game, I feel am in a Roman colosseum watching gladiators sucker punching the lights out of each other. And my friends cheer. This inevitably leads to the following question.
What if David Stern and Stu Jackson are in charge of NHL?
My guess: every team would be suspended for 5 years, with 3 years of extended community service and 2 years of acute anger management therapy and they are going to start a WNHL as a replacement.
And Ron Artest is playing the wrong game. Someone should let him know that there's a game tailor made for him and his spiritual buddies Bonzi Wells, Ruben Patterson and Zach Randolph. If they were playing in NHL, they would be cult figures by now. I think there's still time to get this going.
Coming back to tonight's games, I will let my head go with the Pistons, heart with the Spurs and beer to cheer for the Edmonton Oilers.
The Clippers won last night, and did so quite convincingly. Going by their progress, it gives me hope that someday I could become a celebrity.