It's only Monday, and I have have already gotten my fill of gymnastics. We get it, the girls are flexible and the men have great upper body strength. In an attempt to not watch 16-year-old girls dance around for fear of Chris Hansen popping out from behind my love seat, as the consummate curious sports fan, through NBC's billionty hours of live streaming coverage online I've wandered into the more obscure sports that rarely see the light of prime time coverage.
Enter the revered martial art known as judo. It's like boxing, but instead of gloves, there's entertainment value.
Much like curling does it for me during the winter, judo keeps finding my way back onto my video player. This could be the latent result of Mortal Kombat deprivation as a young child, but the fact that (a) I'm not really sure what was going on, (b) I don't know who any of these guys are, and (c) sometimes I don't know some of these countries existed (Tajikistan? There's a Tajikistan now? Carmen Sandiego never told me about this) doesn't stop me from tuning in almost obediently.
Maybe it's the Olympic judo logo. Look at that thing. For a monochromatic simplification of the sport, that thing's pretty badass. I'd feel safe wearing this lapel pin alone in a dark alley.
After a day of zoning into the hypnotizing flips and grips, I had to check out the rules. Different kinds of takedowns and pins have a rather subjective scoring system, and the highest score — judo's "knockout," if you will — is called ippon. The fact that it rhymes with "own" should definitely captivate the World of Warcraft audience to no end. "zOMG, d00d, that Korean just got ippwn3d!!1"
All the takedowns are based on how close you get your opponent on their back. If you get them on their stomach, it's no points. I might be able to excel at this, since in fights I'm always cowering in that position.