Patriots. Bills. Foxboro. Be There.

The Buffalo Bills are already a team in turmoil and the season hasn’t even been properly hiked yet. Offensive coordinator Turk Schonert was given the boot last week; and he claims it was because the offense wasn’t simple enough for head coach Dick Jauron, which sounds about right. (Turk with a zinger!) They cut their only truly experienced un-suspended halfback (Dominic Rhodes), one of their best defenders (Chris Kelsay) may still be with his daughter this week, they’re starting a seventh-round rookie at left tackle and Terrell Owens is more concerned with his smash-hit reality show than football.

The Patriots, on the other hand, have a chip on their shoulder the size of David Tyree’s faded career. Coach Belichick is out to prove that Brady’s fine and the Pats offense is back in ’07 form. The defense is younger, quicker and hungrier. And Bill’s sweatshirts are grungier than ever.

So who’s got the edge in Week One? Let’s take a gander:

Quarterback – Tom Brady, perennial all-everything. Poster boy for male vitality. Envy of Brazilian men the world over (but mostly localized in Brazil). Trent Edwards, uh. Er. Hmm. He’s…related to John Edwards? I dunno. Edge: Pats

Backfield – With Marshawn Lynch out due to gunplay, Fred Jackson is your starter in Buffalo with Xavier Omon his backup. Omon! That’s what you’ll be hearing from a lot of Jamaican Bills fans this season. There have been mitigating reports out of New England stating that Sammy Morris is either the starter or the fifth guy out of the backfield. Either way, this will be a running back-by-committee. Morris, Fred Taylor, the ageless Kevin Faulk, Larry “Phony Baloney” Maroney and BenJarvus Green-Ellis should all get their fair share of touches this season. Green-Ellis (whose name sounds like two names got into a horribly mangled car accident) may be the dark horse to take over the starter role. Edge: Pats.

Receivers – Randy Moss. Wes Welker. Joey Galloway. Ben Watson. Julian Edelman. Those are the top five receivers for New England. I think I’d put Terrell Owens somewhere in the middle of that list. Maybe fourth. Maybe sixth? He’s just not the T.O. of yesteryear. Lee Evans should still be the go-to guy for Buffalo. Which means Owens will be jawing off to Jauron by Week Three. Should be a fun year in Upstate New York. Edge: Pats.

Offensive Line – Light, Mankins, Koppen, Neal and Kaczur. This is essentially the same line New Englandites have come to know and love and hate since 2005. Still better than most lines in the league as a cohesive unit, but definitely getting on in years. The Bills have two rookie guards and a rookie left tackle and their line is definitely far-improved compared to last year’s, but not nearly in the same stratosphere as the Patriots frontline bunker. The most exciting aspect of New England’s line might be the arrival of German-born rookie Sebastian Vollmer, whom I’ve dubbed “The Berlin Wall.” (Copyright! Trademark!) At 6’8” 316, Vollmer might be the biggest thing to come out of the University of Houston since Hakeem. Neal and Kaczur could be replaced by Vollmer and Kendall Simmons before the halfway point of the season. Edge: Pats.

Defensive Line – Here’s where it gets a little shaky, with the departure of Richard Seymour. Vince Wilfork is still the best defensive lineman on either sideline in this game, and one of the best tackles in the league. But after him the talent level drops off considerably. Ty Warren and Jarvis Green are serviceable ends; even above-average at times, but never blowing your socks off. Buffalo, on the other hand, has Marcus Stroud in the middle and Aaron Schobel on the outside. And, unlike New England, the Bills have depth: Ryan Denney, Chris Ellis, and holdout Aaron Maybin, to name a few. It isn’t necessarily fair to compare a 3-4 line to a 4-3 line, but even with the possible addition of a veteran like Kevin Carter, the Pats just don’t have the bodies. Edge: Bills.

Article Author: Ethan Booker

Ethan Booker was born & raised in Holden, ME. A graduate of James Madison University, he now resides in Los Angeles, CA. He is patiently awaiting casting for the live-action adaptation of Battletoads. He will be reading for the part of 'Rash.'

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