Warning to readers: This column contains personal anecdotes, and is therefore Bill Simmonsized by at least 20 percent. But I'll keep it under 9,000 words, because in BC Magazine, there can only be one David Mazzotta. And I won't give her a patronizing nickname like Mrs. Sports Editor. Still, proceed with caution.
Last weekend my best girl asked me if I wanted to meet with some of her friends and co-workers for lunch. Sounded good. If anything, it helps me detect which of her male friends are trying to (futilely) steal her away from me.
I asked when. She said it was noon on Saturday. A humble, almost throwaway response. Then I thought internally. Noon on Saturday. Noon on Saturday. Something I was ... gonna ... do ...
"Ah, jeez," Internal Suss expounded. "That's when the Ohio State-Michigan game begins. There's no way I, a connoisseur of the athletic arts, could possibly miss this year's installment of the classic rivalry between two Big Ten..."
That's the same Sussman who watched last year's classic game in a Best Western hotel room in Fort Morgan, Colorado. This Sussman has somehow defied conventional metaphysics and ascertained something called a "love life."
The 2007 rendition of OSU-Michigan will decide who wins the Big Ten championship and a trip to the Rose Bowl, which is basically what the rivalry game always comes down to, it seems. With No. 21 Michigan's three losses and the No. 7 Buckeyes' one loss and otherwise unimpressive schedule, there are no BCS title game implications for either team. So I guess it's a good thing that both teams solidified their consolatory fates by losing last weekend.
And if you believe the mgoblog rumors, this is Michigan coach Lloyd Carr's final year. And we all know what happens when Lloyd Carr coaches a team against Ohio State. (Hint: it makes Ann Arbor cry in her sleep.) So why not skip a year and wait until Jim Tressel's Buckeyes face a visiting U. of M team led by: