NFL Week 16 - Jockeying for Position

When there's a lack of drama, all there is to write about is the lack drama. The biggest issue of the year, spygate, was put to rest by a brief handshake and a "Good game, Eric!" He could have at least given us, "It was you, Fredo. You broke my heart." We're still scraping around for some action.

Already begun is the annual coaching carousel. Bobby Petrino left the Falcons shamefully. Cam Cameron, Mike Nolan, Herm Edwards, John Fox and Marvin Lewis have all been rumored to be getting the boot (figure on a couple of them actually going down). Andy Reid and Joe Gibbs are thought to be looking at retirement. Candidates include Rex Ryan, who has to feel like John Nash stuck in a remedial math class; Jason Garrett, who'd probably suck on Tony Romo's thumb if it would help; and Bill Cowher who's playing coy and counting the zeros on all his offers. (By the way: Bobby Petrino, Nick Saban, Steve Spurrier — can we finally bury the idea that a stellar college career is not a qualification to coach in the NFL?)

At some point in the near future the Reggie Bush/USC Booster scandal is going to hit, not that the NFL needs to do anything about it. As a matter a fact, if Reggie continues to follow his current career trajectory, no one will much care. So scratch that one.

With the off season a couple weeks away for most teams, it's nearly busy season for pole dancers and traffic cops with breathalyzers.

That's about it; not much to get worked up about, unless a serious steroids scandal comes along. If it does, I nominate Bill Clinton to head the NFL's commission for two reasons: 1) It one-ups the MLB who could only get an ex-senator and, 2) I see no reason why cheerleaders should be immune to a thorough investigation.

On the field, the only big open question is whether the Browns can catch the Steelers for 4th seed in the AFC (leaving the other as the 6th seed). You could make an argument for the Browns and you might be right, but both these teams should win out. Here's the thing though, it might just be better to be 6th seed. As it stands right now, 4th seed hosts the Jaguars, 6th seed visits the Chargers. Last week the Chargers demolished the Lions in San Diego. No big deal. Meanwhile the Jags went up into Pittsburgh and put a beating on the Steelers. Big deal. The Jags team I saw looked masterful. They have even passed the Colts to be the second best team in the AFC by weighted DVOA.

Article Author: David Mazzotta

David Mazzotta is author of the comic novels Apple Pie and Business as Usual.

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