NFL Picks of Thoughtful Fool, Week 12

I have a gift for you. This week I am going to get through my picks without writing something on the order of two thousand words for a change. Considering I have a silent following of millions, I fully expect this to have a measurably positive impact on this quarter's GNP.

Actually, the fact is that I am on the road for Thanksgiving and all my templates and other crutches are on my flash drive that was The One Thing I Forgot When I Left. Better that than my underwear, I suppose. Rest assured I will be back in full force for the upcoming weeks. In fact, I will likely be more wordy than ever. But for now, the world has one more thing to be thankful for come Thursday.

Last week I was 2-3 in my spread picks, my first losing week ever. That makes me 12-10 for the year, meaning I have shelled out a hypothetical $2420 and been returned $2520 for an shamefully lucrative profit of $100. Who's a high roller, eh?

My money line bets fared a bit better, although that was mostly be cause both my long shots (Arizona and Tampa Bay) came through. For an $800 layout I was returned roughly $1140. You can't spit on $300 plus, but the fact that I was so heavily dependent on two long shots is very disturbing.

All and all, a troubling week. Still, I was cheered up when someone sent me a link to this video (work surfer warning: there is music - and it is the Backstreet Boys). I am glad to say that no matter what pathetic things I have done in my life, there is always someone who has outdone me. It also reinforces my deeply held belief that God created the world in order to keep me entertained.

I am very tempted to rag on the Indianapolis Colts defense. I want to go on about how they are completely porous; how they are clearly that team's Achilles heel; how they are going to end up betraying the Colts in the end. But here's the thing: I have done extensive and intricate research over the past few days and I have discovered that in an extraordinarily high percentage of NFL games, the team with the most points wins. Since the Colts seem to be able to score pretty much at will, as long as they get the ball last, it really doesn't matter what the defense does.

Article Author: David Mazzotta

David Mazzotta is author of the comic novels Apple Pie and Business as Usual.

Visit David Mazzotta's author page — David Mazzotta's Blog