What you really need is some sort of cultural tipping point; a moment when a culture becomes attached to the sport. At some point in post-war Japan, the people glommed on to baseball and only now are we reaping the benefits over here. Lord only knows what possessed the Croatians to take up basketball, but they have. Given enough time, players and fans will feed off each other and increase steadily, eventually they will all play in the U.S. for the big salaries and the league will rake in more dough, which is the point of all this, right?
The NFL does not lack money, influence, and ambition, so maybe they can bring about these cultural epiphanies, but it's unlikely I will see it in my lifetime. I suspect the current Chinese adventurism will go the same way as NFL Europa: an extended exercise in lameness. Unless we give ourselves a science fiction timeline, football will remain America's game. No one else is interested.
If there is little international interest in the Super Bowl, then there is probably less interest in knowing that the NFL comedy continues, even for those not playing on Sunday:
• Bill Parcells has left the rodeo. T.O., now with nothing to fear, responded by insinuating that Parcells was the reason the Cowboys underperformed in the playoffs. Owens would have elaborated but he kept dropping the microphone.
• Mike Vick was hesitant to throw away his water bottle at the airport because, well, he's Mike Vick, he should be able to run for the first down. The fact that it was one of those fake bottles and was filled with weed had nothing to do with it. By the way, you should hurry up and get your official Ron Mexico name, for those times you need the ultimate disguise.
• In Oakland, Art Shell was fired by Al Davis' disembodied brain. His response was to stare straight ahead impassively. Davis subsequently hired someone named Lane Kiffin, a mere child, to replace Shell. Kiffin is actually 31 years old, but he looks like Warren Sapp's prison bitch, which he may have to be to protect himself from Randy Moss, who is rumored to have already told his new coach to perform a rather gymnastic sort of fornication.
• In news that is simultaneously disturbing and gratifying, the Three Stooges will be back. ESPN has announced that the intrepid team of Tirico, Theismann, and Kornhorny will return to Monday Night Football next season to regale us with their inanity. To a columnist, the Stooges are like a nice juicy political scandal. It's horrible the world has to endure it, but at least the material writes itself.
Article comments
1 - alessandro nicolo
Great piece, David. Lotsa good info. The translation bit was funny. I would add one tiny thing: while it is true CFL rosters are filled with American born players, football at a grass roots level in Canada (especially in Quebec) is growing. I hear Mexico has taken a liking to the game it seems only natural they would be the third country. But for now, at the junior ranks Canada is the only country that rivals America. In fact, they've won back to back World Titles. It shouldn't surprise many since Canadians have been playing football as early as the 19th century and have contributed to the development of the game. Another issue is the small population.
2 - Matthew T. Sussman
YOU CANNOT PREVENT AMAZING FUN MYSTIC SLANT ROUTE PASSES OF TOM BRADY!!! ^_^
3 - david mazzotta
All right, who gave Sussman caffeine?
Alessandro - I had no idea that Canada was so strong in the juniors. I wonder why it doesn't translate to college or pro. Interestingly, the NFL maintains a Canada specifc site where, among other things, they list all the Canadian players in the NFL Currently there are 14, of which 3 are on practice squads.
4 - Tinkerbell
Me and the Liz (dog) are gonna root for the Corn-Fed-One. It's his time.
And can someone please give Sussman his daily allotment of Xanax?
5 - alessandro nicolo
It's the same in baseball. Up to 18 years old Canada produces fine talent but beyond that we don't develop further. The only ones who squeeze through are the Nash's, Walker's and Morneau's of this world. I suspect it comes down to two things: money and commitment. There are other subtle considerations but that would take too long.
6 - Gary Garland
Actually, baseball was wildly popular in Japan long before the first pro league came along in 1936 and the sport has been played in Japan since the 19th century. MLB all star teams toured there many times before the war, the most famous being in 1934, when Babe Ruth came over with Lou Gehrig, Earl Averill and others and it was the impetus from that that helped create the current pro league. So baseball isn't just a postwar phenomenon in Japan. Check out my website and you'll see what I mean.
7 - RJ Elliott
ALL YOUR COMMANDER IN CHIEF BELONG TO US!!!
8 - RJ Elliott
And, yes, that was horribly unoriginal.
Great article, David. Go Colts!
9 - alessandro nicolo
Dave, make that three world junior titles in a row. Canada beat USA 23-13. Mexico beat Japan 25-17 for the bronze medal. Panama and France took part this year in the six team tournament.
10 - david mazzotta
Well, there you are. Total Colts domination as expected. Look at the stats and the score could have easily been a lot more lopsided. Congrats to Dungy and Peyton above all.
A hearfelt thanks to all my readers. You guys rock one and all.
See you in September.
11 - david mazzotta
Oh, by the way -- I'll be spending the rest of the year trying to get the image of Prince behind that sheet play with his, um, guitar, out of my head.