NFL Picks of a Thoughtful Fool, Week 17 - Page 7

Having inflicted damage on the careers of everyone from Jim Belushi to Barack Obama, they apparently had to stoop to ordering one of their own employees, Steve Young, in as first half guest. Steve was presumably promised a couple of extra personal days and a better parking space in return. Of course, he promptly screwed the pooch by dissing Daunte Culpepper, claiming that he had been "missing meetings." Culpepper, who was in attendance, hunted him down and squared him away. Just another Monday Night Fiasco.

But all that was balanced by the fact that they were masochistic enough to bring back Jimmy Kimmel back at half time, who trounced them again. I will acknowledge that this final show of the year was the best. It must have taken Herculean effort, but the Stooges finally achieved inoffensiveness. Way to reach for that star, guys.

On to the last picks of the season. (*wipes a tear*)

Point Spread
In honor of the Week of Shame, we'll forgo our typical systematic search for poorly set spreads. Let's start with the games with potential for being thrown and then see what's left.

The betting public believes that Seattle is going to snooze their season finale. That would explain why 4-11 Tampa Bay is giving them 3 points. Well, when you combine the fact that Seattle is a lousy team, they have nothing to play for, and the game is in Tampa Bay, three points is not such a bad deal. Let's go with the public on this one. Pick: Bucs -3

Similarly, the Panthers are giving 3 points to the Saints in New Orleans. Normally that would be a ridiculous spread, but the Panthers are in the hunt and the Saints are set. In this case we have two other circumstances to consider. One is the ongoing sentimental pride of the Saints in their season. Set or not, I don't think they'll be keen on writing off a home game in front of their loving fans. The other thing is that if the Giants win on Saturday. The Panthers are drawing dead — so much for their incentive. We'll buck the public on this one. Pick: Saints +3

The Pats are in Tennessee with no reason to play so again, despite their superiority, they are getting 3 points. The Titans are just barely breathing with respect to the post season, but they are also having a good time playing behind Vince Young. Who knows what we'll get from the Pats, another drop kick? Again, I'm going to go with the guys who have a reason to play. Pick: Titans -3

Article Author: David Mazzotta

David Mazzotta is author of the comic novels Apple Pie and Business as Usual.

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