NFL Picks of a Thoughtful Fool, Week 17 - Page 6

Second, even in desperation he's still Tom Coughlin. He is going to let QB coach Kevin Gilbride — The Man Who Ruined Eli — call the plays. Brilliant. Look for the Giants to improve next year without him.

• I've developed a somewhat perverse fascination with how Matt Millen is going to screw up the first pick in the draft. Most everyone in the world will assume he'll take Brady Quinn. He shouldn't. He should take Joe Thomas. He needs O-line help more than QB help.

Even if he is smart enough to see that, he has to be careful. Ideally he could trade the first pick to someone who would take Quinn, but the Raiders pick second and while they certainly need a QB, they are equally desperate for O-line help. Maybe Al Davis' disembodied brain would pony up some quatloos for a sign and trade giving him a certain Brady Quinn and the Lions Joe Thomas and a later draft pick. That's a long shot though.

Another way to play it would be to trade the pick outright and hope you are still high enough to grab say, Justin Blalock and Troy Smith when they come around, but you better get something serious in return.

The smart thing to do is just pick Thomas and if you want to mess around, trade your second rounder for some lates. So figure that to not happen. After seeing a back up QB and a converted safety play wide receiver this season, how much do you want to bet Millen goes in that direction again and picks Dwayne Jarrett and he ends up being a Mike Williams clone. Mike Martz would head for greener pastures and Millen would probably get another contract extension.

Monday Night Football capsule review
Theismann said being short is a huge advantage for the ball carrier on a shovel pass. Earlier in the year, he claimed short pass receivers were better than tall ones. How much you wanna bet he spends a good deal of time watching midget wresting videos?

Having inflicted damage on the careers of everyone from Jim Belushi to Barack Obama, they apparently had to stoop to ordering one of their own employees, Steve Young, in as first half guest. Steve was presumably promised a couple of extra personal days and a better parking space in return. Of course, he promptly screwed the pooch by dissing Daunte Culpepper, claiming that he had been "missing meetings." Culpepper, who was in attendance, hunted him down and squared him away. Just another Monday Night Fiasco.

Article Author: David Mazzotta

David Mazzotta is author of the comic novels Apple Pie and Business as Usual.

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