If the Cavaliers and San Antonio Spurs were playing on the seesaw, and we substituted gravity with excitement, then the Spurs would be forever hovering six feet over the playground until the mean ol' Cavaliers stepped off the seesaw, causing the Spurs to crash onto the ground with a thud.
The excitement by Lake Erie begins and ends with some 22-year-old whose name you may have seen in the paper. LeBron James wowed everyone in Game 5 of the Eastern Conference final, including basketball legend Michael Jordan. "What just transpired ... was needed for the league, was needed for Cleveland, was needed for LeBron." LeBron also needed the sensational rookie Daniel Gibson's timely shooting in Game 6, totaling 31 points. Plus, what's more exciting than an athlete nicknamed "Boobie?" Perhaps a Sideshow Bob-haired center named Anderson Varejao and an equally tall Scrabble player's dream name, Zydrunas Ilgauskas. Then there's the goofy hair of Drew Gooden and Scot Pollard. The team just pisses excitement.
Meanwhile, the Spurs — a team who has won three NBA championships in the last seven years — are flat out dull. While we all continue to gush over the greatness of LeBron, Tim Duncan has quietly become the greatest player in the league, and possibly the best power forward in NBA history. But he does it with the league minimum flair — the manager at Chotchkie's does encourage more — and a semi-dismal pouty face reminiscent of Jim Halpert. (Yes, I just referenced two movies/shows with the word "Office" in the title.)
Bruce Bowen is a boring defensive player, albeit a little physical. Robert Horry is a veteran presence, but you don't see his clutch shots until the final five minutes. Their dominant color is a yawn-inducing black. Coach Gregg Popovich is a great coach, but with a flat persona. (He's not even a snappy dresser.) Christ, even Tony Parker's upcoming marriage to one of the Desperate Housewives honeys seems painfully boring.
Article comments
1 - Dawn
Matt Sussman, you suck for saying that. SUCK SUCK SUCK!
Rise up peeps, Rise Up!
2 - Tuffy
I hate when my ex-girlfriends comment on my articles, too.
3 - Q Bit
Nice review Suss. And thanks for calling it in five -- I sort of agree with you :) although there's a high possibility the series going back to SA.
BTW I don't think Spurs are boring at all. They could be quite entertaining if you pay some attention to their facial expressions when fouls are called--and Bowen is great -- that's some def the guy plays night in night out -- amazing.
4 - Matthew T. Sussman
"there's a high possibility the series going back to SA."
I should preface that I want every series to go seven games. Always.
5 - El Bicho
Yeah, because winning is boring. Defense is half the game. After The Drive, people from the Cleveland area should have learned that.
6 - RJ
Spurs in 4. :-/
7 - Chris McVetta
It's true. I gush more than Sally Field on Oscar night...
8 - Kevin
I would question the sanity of any human who believes Horry wasn't well aware that he was about to hurt someone. Why else lean into a screen while someone is in mid-air?
I guess SA fans are now on the same level as those Philly fans who cheered while Irvin was injured. BRUTAL classlessness.