No. No, I would regain mastery of my home. I would reclaim my manhood and my computer. I inched back to my computer and cautiously restarted Mosaic. The six screens started their screeching again. I covered my eyes with one hand and pounded the mouse with the other until the four-screen option appeared. I dropped in a blacked-out game, making it possible for me to see only three games. I peered through my hand, making sure it was okay for me to come out again.
Over the next two days, I came to an understanding with the clunky Mosaic interface, the slow-buffering videos, and the overwhelming amount of content. Four games... five games... six games... six games plus one of the blacked-out games on the television... 6+1 with zooming in on rallies and special at-bats. Eventually, I learned to work with Mosaic and got all the baseball I wanted, but it didn't come without a lesson to be learned.
I didn't treat Mosaic as a land to be conquered, like I did with television. She became a slow-turning mothership, one at the whims of a capricious Internet ocean. In the hands of an experienced ship's captain, ol' Mosie would get you there eventually. Don't push her; don't threaten her. She's a lady. You treat her good, son, and she'll treat you good.
I have regained control of my digital entertainment and my life, thanks to a new point of view. Media mastery isn't about manhood or pecking order; it's about finding new respect for a new medium and learning to work with it. I don't need to prove to anyone how well I can handle Mosaic, hunting, or parallel parking. I only need to enjoy ol' Mosie for what she is and treat her as an equal. If I do, she'll take care of me for all the rest of this season.
Of course, not everything has changed; I still occasionally trip over my own fire hose on the way to the bathroom first thing in the morning. After all, I'm just a man.
Article comments
1 - Matthew T. Sussman
I always wondered if Tuffy watched TV with his legs crossed. Got my answer today.