Last week's MAC record: 5-7. My picks: 8-4. But the self-deprecating losses to the Big Ten are not over yet!
Noon — Temple (0-1) at No. 5 Penn State (2-0) (TV: BTN)
Perhaps it was not in the Owls' best interests to play Villanova and then the Nittany Lions. They are digging themselves into a spider hole of shame by becoming the Worst College Football Team In Pennsylvania. If they lose next week to Buffalo, who lost to Pittsburgh, that will account for all FBS teams and one FCS school. Let's hope they aren't invited to a bowl game against Carnegie Mellon. Penn State 41, Temple 17
Noon — Northern Illinois (1-1) at Purdue (1-1) (TV: BTN)
We know Purdue has a semi-automatic offense, but the Danny Hope Fighting Mustaches don't have a concealed carry permit, so everybody knows what they're packing. The thing is, NIU may have just as good an offense, but certainly a better defense. When Dan LeFevour, Tim Hiller, Tyler Sheehan, Andy Schmitt, and I suppose Aaron Opelt all leave their respective teams, the darling quarterback of the conference will presumably be Chandler Harnish. He almost had it against Wisconsin, and nobody really cared against Western Illinois, but he has a chance to move his year in the sun up by about 12 months. NIU 36, Purdue 33
Noon — Ball State (0-2) at Army (1-1) (TV: CBS College Sports)
It took until January 6 for the Cardinals to lose their second game of the season. Nine months and six days later, Ball State matched that. That may be a record, especially given the competition. North Texas and New Hampshire? Neither of those are enviable tourist destinations, let alone good football teams. Army's not much better, but they did top Eastern Michigan using nothing but the ol' triple option. Ball State's run defense is a sieve. It's a firing range target. It's Grenada. I'm running out of military metaphors. Army 28, Ball State 17
Noon — Eastern Michigan (0-2) at No. 25 Michigan (2-0) (TV: BTN)
Imagine if Washtenaw County had two quality football teams. This could be a much-anticipated battle of cities that meet at the corner of I-94 and US-23. They could forge some kind of trophy and call it the Ypsi-Arbor Award. It could have two upright objects: for Ann Arbor, a tree, and for Ypsilanti, a water tower shaped like a penis. But, alas, a more accurate trophy for the depiction between these two teams would be a bronze statue of a beatnik defecating on an eagle. Michigan 35, EMU 10
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