3:00-Struggling from exhaustion an hour out of Louisville, I made a pit stop to get coffee. The exit I took gave me bad vibes, like I was on the Cahulawassee River in Georgia back country.
3:00:05-I’m back on the interstate, sans coffee, but at least nobody complemented me on my "purty mouth."
4:00-I arrived at Louisville Slugger Field, home of the Cincinnati Reds’ AAA affiliate, full of opportunist thoughts. There was only one small problem. I beat the ticket sales reps to the stadium.
4:20-After I wandered around the Bats’ stadium looking at pictures of past Louisville greats (Andy Van Slyke, Ken Hill, Brandon Larson) I was finally able to find a Bat employee. He led me on a few goose chases before making a call to a media relations employee to help me get situated.
4:35-With my press credentials dangling around my neck, I was lost in a tunnel under the stadium.
4:45-After a few detours, I finally found my way onto the field.
5:00-I introduced myself to the Bulls’ public relations director. He said interviewing Delmon Young should not be a problem. He told me to go find him in the locker room.
5:05-Hesitantly tiptoeing into the locker room like the first time I was forced to shower with other guys in gym class, I felt as welcome as George W. Bush during a European tour. Darnell McDonald, the Bulls’ centerfielder and the first person I ran into, shot my interview request down immediately.
5:07-Trying to regroup and look like I know what I’m doing, I begin to copiously take notes. McDonald walks past and asks if he can help me find someone else. I said, “Sure, I’m also looking for Young.” As soon as the words came out of my mouth, I could feel I now had an audience. McDonald told me he’d get him in a way that made me feel nervous.
5:09-I finally spotted Young. I nervously approached him and awkwardly asked him for a few minutes of his time. Without turning around to face me, he emphatically said, “no.” I could hear Young’s teammates giggling.
5:09:43-Trying to save face, I started talking to the closest Bull, Luis Ordaz, the often injured utility fielder on rehab assignment from Tampa Bay. Still flustered by my encounter with Young, I told him congratulations on the great year he was having. Ordaz recently returned from a knee injury that had sidelined him the entire season. He literally has had only 22 at-bats this year. I knew that I had to cut my losses. This wasn’t going to get any better. After asking a few mundane questions, I got out of the locker room before my head exploded all over the wall. This was definitely my most embarrassing moment in my writing career.
Article comments
1 - Matthew T. Sussman
So, yeah, Delmon Young. Who knew he could be such a not-a-nice-man?
2 - M.D. Sandwasher
I was prepared and ready for Young’s reaction. Although, if I were him, I would be looking for anybody to talk to, and I mean anybody, to let the world know that incident was an isolated one and nothing like that will ever happen again.
Looking back, I think the best part of the experience was the players’ reactions. It felt like I was the minion in their theater show titled Delmon Young Uncorked. The common response to Young’s availability was “sure, he’s usually very generous with his time,” followed by a sly smile and an “I’ll go find him for you.”
3 - M.D. Sandwasher
Norris Hopper was optioned back to Louisville today, a mere 4 days after his call-up. I wanted to speak with Hopper, owner of the top batting average in the International League, more than any other Bat.
In tribute Ralph, the precocious main character from Lord of the Flies, "Sucks to my Asthmar."