Perhaps you've heard: two-time NBA MVP LeBron James decided not to return to his ancestral home with the Cleveland Cavaliers and instead decided to "take his talents" to Miami to play with Dwyane Wade and Chris Bosh. Excuse me while I retch into the logorrheic rivers of collusion.
I'm back - so the litany of the former "King's" betrayal is by now legendary: just weeks before "The Decision" he told Larry King on CNN that Cleveland had the "edge" in his personal free agent sweepstakes; he clearly did not give his best effort in the 2010 playoffs; his benighted "Decision" broadcast on ESPN was a pandering infomercial, casting a dark shadow over the network, the player, and the earth from which it was broadcast.
In fact the televised circle jerk was ultimately nothing but an abject slap in the face of the city of Cleveland, the Cavaliers, his (former) fans, and common decency. James, 25, has proved himself to be an astonishingly tone-deaf, insular, solipsistic, ignorant fool and quitter.
And now we hear from his non-wife, Savannah Brinson, 24, mother of James's two sons, and his consort dating back to their high school days in Akron. In a photo spread/interview with Harper's Bazaar, Brinson whimpers about reaction from fans — nationwide, not just Cleveland — to the James conflagration/masturbation.
"You have fans and you think they're going to roll with you no matter what, and then they burn your jersey? It's unfair," Brinson whines. "But they did it. It's over."
Not until EVERY James jersey is torched, but that's another matter.
So, um, I guess we're moving, right LeBron?
"When they told me it doesn't get any colder than 50 degrees, that sold me," she said. "We get below-zero weather in Cleveland. ... I can't wait to have a sunny Christmas ... It will definitely be an adjustment, but we'll make it. We're not complaining."
That's a good little soldier. In the interview, Brinson claims she is going to split her time between Akron and Miami. Hmm, bad idea: better keep a close eye on the meal ticket to whom you are not married.