Joe Theismann just called. He wants it to be known that he was EXTREMELY DISAPPOINTED with LeBron James Saturday night. After the Cleveland Cavaliers have finally made it to the NBA Championship game for the first time in team history, it seems Mr. Theismann noticed that LeBron James was chewing gum during his post-game interview... and his head band wasn't on straight.
After an ESPN intern informed Mr. Theismann that LeBron played for the "Fighting Irish" of St. Vincent-St. Mary's high school and NOT the University of Notre Dame, Joe simply paused, and reflected for a moment. Finally, after several hours of Zen-like meditation, Joe Theismann announced: "It's a good thing that last night's game was not a job interview or LeBron James would have a tough time finding work... that's all I'm saying."
LeBron James is the real deal, folks, and the city of Cleveland will not be denied! Daniel Gibson "turned it up a notch" and is finally the "Sam Gamgee" to LeBron James' "Frodo Baggins" in this NBA Lord of the Rings franchise.
Buy this stinky Hobbit another Fresca, Shire folk, because Rasheed Wallace and the Detroit Pistons are "puny and weak."
It may be a while before Brady Quinn and the Cleveland Browns win a Super Bowl ring - but the city of Cleveland is oh-so-close to the realm of winning an NBA Championship or a World Series with the Cleveland Indians.
RISE UP! As the Gollums of the world try to toss our ring into the fires of Mount Doom, the people of Cleveland are rejoicing with another fantastic performance by their hometown Cavaliers: "My preciouuuussssss..."
The Cleveland Cavaliers are on their way to face the San Antonio Spurs in the NBA Championship. Isn't that pure magic, Gandalf the Great?
"One ring to rule them all..."
Article comments
1 - J.J. Hunsecker
I'm guessing that you didn't see the movies or read the books as your analogies make no sense whatsoever.
Considering James hasn't been the king of basketball yet, how or what is he returning to? Also, Frodo wasn't the king.
2 - Chris McVetta
Sure I did! Luke Skywalker was "the King" of Planet Vulcan!
And as far as LeBron James ("the Prince" or "the King of all Marketing" as dubbed by the national media prior to his epic performance) is concerned, The King is returning from ...um ...Detroit?
Sorry. I'll leave the LOTR references to the professionals from now on. I guess I just flew too close to the sun...
3 - Matthew T. Sussman
And Darth's father was Master Vader. He went blind at an early age.
4 - RJ
Spurs in 4. :-/
5 - RJ
"The King is returning from ...um ...Detroit?"
[cough]
I got nothing. But I know where you were goin'... :-/
6 - Chris McVetta
LeBron James has been "The King" since his high school days. It's the REST of the national media (cough) who have TRIED to knock him down from that position because he hasn't lived up to their (cough) lofty expectations (And, oh yeah, because he doens't play in New York, L.A. or Boston).
Until this last RETURN to glory in the Cleveland-Detroit series...