Okay, all you draftniks and beatniks, I need to squelch one thing right now: The Cleveland Browns should not (and will not) draft offensive lineman, Joe Thomas, with the #3 pick in the 2007 NFL Draft.
The only thing Joe Thomas, the offensive tackle from Wisconsin, will be "fishing for" this weekend during the 2007 NFL Draft is an approving endorsement from this writer.
"But, Chris!" you might screech, with your neurotic lady's voice, like your favorite character on Grey's Anatomy upon seeing "McDreamy" in the hospital hallway. "The game of pro football is won and lost on the offensive line!"
Well, you're half-right. But unfortunately the only thing THAT logic, along with a Master's degree in Creative Writing and an Indian nickel, will actually get you is a job proofreading classified ads placed by "Barney Gumble" in The Springfield Shopper - and another 6-10 season for the Cleveland Browns.
The Browns need an offensive line, true enough - and they are on their merry way - but work it through free agency and the later rounds of the draft.
So, I don't care what you have heard over on "Grumpy and The Dunce Talk Sports!" - or any other local Cleveland talk show for that matter. The only thing you are going to get from them is a "bad case of the bends" after eating at one of the eateries that advertise on their show.
Hey, I can suck lemons with the best of them in this town, folks, and believe-you-me: You NEVER, EVER waste a top 3 pick in the NFL Draft on a (shudder) offensive lineman!
Everyone knows you waste it on a skilled position: Quarterback, running back or wide receiver.
So, do yourself a favor and save a trip to the infirmary ("infirmary" is a 19th century term meaning "Urgent Care Center," kids - Google it!) for some other sports sap - and pray to your personal deity that the Cleveland Browns draft either Brady Quinn or Adrian Peterson.
Article comments
1 - Chip
Funny and very well written.I wish I had your talent.With what's at hand with this years draft I completely agree with you. First time reader,longtime true & thru Cleveland BROWNS fan.
2 - Noodling in LA
Wow, the Browns wasted draft picks on (shudder)Thomas and (pretty boy) Quinn!
3 - Hartdawg
Chris,
I don't know who you are, but this article is too funny. If you were just giving ideas of what you would do. But you were blasting out how you knew there was no way the Browns would take Johnson.
Just rand across, article and wanted to comment. Its still cracking me up thinking about all you were saying. Anyway, well written, and go Browns.
4 - Chris McVetta
Joe Thomas is the real deal. I admit, I was wrong. Eric Steinbach is still a great free agency addition ...and Brady Quinn is still a great draft pick for the Cleveland Browns (just ask the Miami Dolphins).