Jeffrey Maier is Jeffrey Maier in I Hate Jeffrey Maier

In what might be the greatest senior thesis of all time, a Wesleyan University film student made a nine-minute movie about an obsessed Baltimore Orioles fan that realizes he would be going to school with the kid that ruined his favorite team’s season in 1996.

The student, Lizz Morhaim, decided to have a boy play the part of the infatuated fan, although the character definitely exemplifies what she felt about Jeffrey Maier ten years ago.

Because Maier also goes to Wesleyan, he agreed to be in the movie, playing himself.

The details of the movie aren’t really clear but if I was Morhaim, I’d go with the Back to the Future theme. Imagine what would happen if you could go back in time and infect Maier with chicken pox so he couldn’t attend that game one of the ALCS that year.

Think about it …

Derek Jeter may have never become the most clutch player in playoff history. He would have flown out in that spot and the fans at Yankee Stadium might have started booing. Maybe a young Jeter, unable to handle the crowd, would have become a precursor to Ron Artest and attacked a boozed up fan. Within months, he could have been dealt to Kansas City, hitting a quiet .300 for the rest of his career on a dismal team.

Atlanta probably would have won the World Series for the second consecutive year, negating the theory that they are worst playoff team in sports history.

Brady Anderson’s downfall may have had a lot to do with Maier as well. Maybe Anderson would have stayed on the juice because of his belief that his team could compete in the AL East as long as he continued to hit 50 home runs a year from the leadoff spot.

Realizing he had a partner in his cheating scheme, Rafael Palmeiro wouldn’t have left for Texas, where he proceeded to put up the best numbers of his career.

With Anderson battling for Mark McGwire’s single season homerun record, Mike Mussina would have never been bought out by New York.

All of this over a kid that made a lucky catch. You see what you did, Jeffrey?

Article Author: Dan McGowan

Dan McGowan is a 23 year old student and freelance writer. He is the editor of

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