Football... For the Girls - Page 2

Refs: Each football game is overseen by seven officials who are strategically placed in certain areas of the field. The general rule of thumb is simple: whenever the refs make a call in favor of the opposing team they are deemed blind degenerates of nature who should be dragged out into the street and shot. If the opposing team wins, it is always, always the ref’s fault.

Time: One game of football is divided into four 15-minute quarters and a 12-minute half time break. Because the clock stops with every incomplete pass, when a player goes out of bounds, when a penalty is committed, or when a team takes a time out, time in football is not real time. Women must keep in mind that a reversal of the ideology that enables men to describe a two-minute romp in the sack as a “full night of love making” applies to football and each quarter will always last longer than fifteen minutes. A good rule of thumb is to multiply the amount of minutes on the game clock by three. If there are ten minutes left in the game, assume that those ten minutes will take a half hour.

Scoring: There are five ways a team can generate points in a football game. They can score a touchdown, get an extra point, score a two-point conversion, kick a field goal, or get a safety.

Touchdown: A touchdown is worth six points and is awarded on offense when the ball is carried across the goal line into the end zone, or caught in the end zone by an offensive player. The defense can also score a touchdown by running an intercepted ball or a fumble recovered ball into their own end zone.

Point after Touchdown: Following a touchdown, the coaches can opt to go for an extra point. An extra point, or Point After Touchdown (PAT), involves placing the ball on the 2 -yard line and having the kicker kick the ball through the uprights. A PAT, because of its simplicity, is usually thought of as a sure thing and is worth one point.

Two Point Conversion: After a touchdown, the coaches can go for a two-point conversion instead of a PAT. Two-point conversions are more difficult than an extra point and thus, they are typically only used when a team is trying to tie a game, when a team is desperate, or when a team is trying to cushion their lead by a certain amount of points. Like an extra point, a two-point conversion involves lining up on the two-yard line. Instead of bringing in a kicker, however, the quarterback and the offense remain in the game. Upon snapping the ball, the offense has one down to get the ball in the end zone. If they are successful, two points are awarded. If they are unsuccessful, the coaches yell and the kicker, knowing he would have surely made the extra point, secretly gloats.

Article Author: J Jordan

Jennifer Jordan is an editor and staff writer for http://www.verbaladvantage.com. An English major and professional writer, she spends her days correcting grammar and wondering why she's unpopular.

Visit J Jordan's author page — J Jordan's Blog