FightNoob is a recurring series on Single Blog Takedown where we help new fans and neophytes understand the sport of mixed martial arts. This is the first edition.
So it's a Saturday night, and you're bored in the city. The neon lights of the local sports bar call out to you; beer is good, right? And besides, they usually have something good on. Is it Yanks-Sawx weekend? Again? Well, I suppose that's tolerable enough.
Walking in the door, you're staggered by the crush of cheering spectators. The place is packed. Occasionally there's a round of applause or a surprised "oooh" rippling through the crowd of onlookers. People are wearing t-shirts with strange slogans and intricate designs, and on almost every TV... hey, that's not baseball! It looks like... a cage? And two guys hitting each other, only wait, now they're grappling... now there's a referee... and now everybody's cheering at... hey, is that the guy from Fear Factor doing commentary? And somebody buys a round, and the bar explodes into sound again, but you stare quizzically down the barrel of a High Life.
It's a great night in the city! The only problem: you don't have a clue what the hell is going on.
Well, gentle reader, Single Blog Takedown is here to help. Welcome to FightNoob, our training camp for MMA fans. Right now, you may not be able to tell your Silvas apart, and you may believe that an "omoplata" is the special of the night at Shiro's Sushi. But when we're done with you, you'll be a lean, mean, fight-watching machine, able to impress your friends and lovers with at least a solid command of what's going on inside the cage. (We can't train you to fight, though. Sorry. You're gonna have to get hit in the face on your own a few times for that.)
Volume 1 - Why Watch MMA?
Maybe you're like our sample fan above. That first glimpse of a new and exciting sport intrigued you, but you're not sold yet; after all, you've heard some wild things about mixed martial arts. Let me see what I can do to convince you that you should join the fan ranks of one of the fastest-growing sports in America.
We'll start with a quick baseline. If you don't like the notion of two guys hitting each other, you won't like MMA. And that's fine! Tennis season lasts pretty much all year. But if you don't mind the raw conflict found in combat sports, it's time you gave mixed martial arts a try.
Article comments
1 - Matthew T. Sussman
Perhaps if each fight had some kind of motive, as in, Fighter A stole Fighter B's lunch from the fridge, and in retaliation, Fighter B told police that Fighter A had a dead body in his car.
2 - Matt DeTura
Or Fighter B came on Fighter A's popular interview segment, and Fighter A bonked him on the head with a coconut? I'd watch that. Too.