It is often said that the FA Premier League is the best in the world as a spectacle for pace and goals. It is also said that it is the best league to watch if you're looking for a 38-game schedule that will raise the incidence of depression and alcoholism in your life.
(Actually, don't take that seriously. My liver and I are the only ones saying that.)
My personal problems notwithstanding, it comes as a surprise that the EPL has recently become the best league in the world to be a fan of if you find yourself in a life-threatening situation due to your own stupidity. I present the following as proof:
Case 1: A couple days before Arsenal FC went down in a 10-man flame to Barcelona in the Champions League final, a 10-year-old English boy tried to climb his neighbor's fence in order to scope out the new trampoline sitting in the backyard. Apparently the sight was a bit too much to behold and in his excitement, the kid lost his footing and got impaled on a metal spiking a top the fence.
Though his chest wound was fairly substantial (three inches), the spike missed all vital organs. Now this happens to most people and they think that God intervened or there was a guardian angel or maybe they're just the luckiest tosser around. But not these people. This kid owes his life to the modern day chain mail known as the Commemorative 2005/2006 Arsenal Home Strip.
Yeah, my thoughts exactly.
It seems that the magical shirt saved the boy from certain doom by cushioning the spike's impact. Had it been cotton instead of Nike DriFit, the shirt would have ripped, thus allowing the metal to plunge deeper into the boy's chest. It would have been curtains for the young fan.
A young life being saved is heartwarming and all but can you see the headlines NEXT week?
"10 Year Old Tries to Stop Bullet with Magical Arsenal Kit, Dies."
This situation will end in nothing but trouble... messy trouble.
*Grain of salt warning: Article from The Sun*
Case 2: Our other fantastic EPL life-saving tale takes us to the mountains of strife-torn Yemen where an Englishman named Tony found himself in the weeds while helping the Yemeni government set up a free-trade zone.
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