What better way to finish the first half of the season than a homestand against the two worst teams in the division?
Monday, July 6: Kansas City 4, Detroit 3 — The Fernando Rodney Terror Alert Watch turned into a bright, juicy crimson. I almost wanted to snack on it, it looked so delicious. But, sadly, it was poisonous. Rodney came into a game in a non-save situation (remember how dangerous that is) and picked up where Joel Zumaya left off, lobbing a sphere of meat to Mike Jacobs, worth one point in baseball metrics.
Tuesday, July 7: Detroit 8, Kansas City 5 — Polanco hit his sixth home run of the season, but it seemed more like his 60th home run. This is probably because his home runs stick out like a jaundiced cheerleader, considering how much he chokes up. Winning pitcher Justin Verlander struck out 11 Royals, which counts as 6.4 MLB strikeouts.
Wednesday, July 8: Detroit 3, Kansas City 1 — The 92nd pitcher to make a start for the Tigers this year, Luke French, went 6 1/3 strong with just a little ol' home run as his only blemish. Luc — I'm calling him Luc, now — is the latest in a string of potential fifth starters. This game also marked the return of Clete Thomas, making my girlfriend incredibly happy, and stopped a series of jokes about her favorite player being demoted to Triple-A. For now.
Friday, July 10: Detroit 5, Cleveland 1 — Cliff Lee is last year's flavor. Edwin Jackson is the new Superman ice cream. More impressive is that Fernando Rodney actually closed down a non-save situation pretty well. Except for, y'know, those two walks.
Saturday, July 11: Cleveland 5, Detroit 4 — Yes, the Tigers lost this game. So let's not talk about it and instead get a movement going to bring back those Detroit Stars jerseys every weekend. Those things are incredibly sexy, even though they represent racism. If they were available for under $200, I would absolutely buy one. I guess it's time to make my own out of old dishrags and dryer lint. (Which is, I hear, how they made them back in the '20s.)
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