Batting Around is BC Sports' look back at the week's happenings in the world o' sports, presented in a lineup card format for some undisclosed reason.
The Lineup Card
1. WR Chad Johnson
2. SS Derek Jeter
3. F1 Team McLaren
4. $$$ Tiger Woods
5. CB Deion Sanders
6. LW Mark Bell
7. QB Demetrius Jones
8. RF Brad Hawpe
9. RHP Dustin Moseley
Coach: Bill Belichick
1. WR Chad Johnson — He said he'd do it during the Browns game this past weekend if he caught a touchdown in Cleveland. Then he catches two of them. And on the second one, he lived up to his promise: Chad Johnson, the charismatic Bengals wide receiver, lept into the Dawg Pound for, uh, some reason.
Now Johnson comes back and admits what we were all thinking in the first place — that it wasn't such a great idea to hop into the section containing the opponent's most zealous fans. Much like Jim Gaffigan after eating a Hot Pocket, this is a much-expected regrettable action.
2. SS Derek Jeter — The Yankees captain's 3-run home run on Sunday night against the Red Sox elicited many #$%@s and *(!&s out of me, but rather than expound on exactly how frustrating it is to be a Tigers fan trying to chase the Yankees, I'll just refer you all to what The Onion said a month ago about this damn team.
3. F1 Team McLaren — You thought Bill Belichick's $500,000 fine was steep? Well, take that sum total, and now double it. Take that product, and add two zeros anywhere to the right of the one. You now have $100,000,000, or $100 million, or £49.2 million, or 250,626.57 8GB iPhones, or 1.8 Darren Dreiforts. That's how much that Formula One team McLaren was fined for spying after receiving classified documents with technical information about Team Ferrari ... or something like that. I don't exactly understand what the hell happened (which in a way makes it exactly like the Patriots videotaping thingamajigger), but when a nine-figure fine is imposed, you know it's serious.
4. $$$ Tiger Woods — Yahoo! Sports editor Michael Arkush has dug up with a "Yahoo! Sports Exclusive" (although I contend there should be more exclamation points in that phrase): Arkush has found who Woods' rival is. Not Lefty or Sergio. Not Vijay or Ernie Els. Not even Rory Sabbatini!
Article comments
1 - The Haze
Just one question this week: If they(Patriots)got caught cheating,why did they still get the win? Has he(Belichick)got video tape of the NFL?
2 - Matthew T. Sussman
He escaped the Matrix, found the access code for NFL game settings, changed the difficulty to rookie.
3 - RJ
I think I'll pick the Pats by 24 for the rest of the season... :-/
4 - The Haze
What was amazing was the fact that not one of the sports people even brought up the fact that they should forfeit the game! BTW - I went NFL.com and tried to send an e-mail to the commissioner to pose the forfeit question to him and there's no place to contact him.Can I get some help with that from anyone? Note for Chad Johnson and all the athletes that think it's cool to showboat: MAKE SURE YOU WIN THE GAME OR ELSE IT MEANS N-O-T-H-I-N-G!!!
5 - Alessandro
The Haze: The Pats are simply that good.
As for Jeter, that's exactly what I fucking said. And I'm a fan of neither team. What the fuck is it with this fucking team that pitchers suddenly become fucking useless in the late fucking innings? I....don't....get.....it. Jeter couldn't get a single or even a double? No, he has to hit a dinger - a three run dinger.
2 1/2 back of Boston. Tigers had a shot but they had the luxury of playing the Indians - now they are 4 1/2 back. It's over.
Boston will have had the lead since day one and will lose it on the final day.
Fuck.
But you know what? They won't win the WS.
6 - Tan The Man
I saw that at-bat between Schilling and Jeter. Schilling tried to nibble and the umpire wasn't giving him the strike calls.
After the home run, I honestly believe you could hear a BoSox fan have a heart attack.
7 - Alessandro
TTM, I thought the same thing. To add to the insult he cleared over the Green Monster. Unreal.
8 - The Haze
I was never disputing how good they were. They are better than good.I would consider them one of the NFL Dynasty Teams,but,when you get caught "cheating"in a game(I believe that's how the sports media described it)you lose that game,right or wrong?? that's all I'm saying.As for the "Jeter Principle",that's called "taking the wind out of one's sails". Anyone who has ever been a part of sports knows that those kind of games are killers. I would rather lose 30 - f**king nothing than have to lose like that. At least in a rout,you know you suck. As an Indian fan since the late 60's, I want no part of the "Stankees" cuz they own us this year!
9 - The Haze
That home run by Jeter off Schilling,the way they came back,will be the sox' death knell,you watch. the lead is down to 1.5......if the "Stankees" win it,they'll be talkin' about Jeter & Dent in the same breath.That loss hurt them. Damn! I hate when that happens!!!Go Tribe!!!
10 - alessandro
The only difference is that this time (as opposed to the 70s) the Sox make the playoffs. Some in the Red Sox nation are trying to put a brave face on this even if they lose since they're in. While this is true, man, they lead since day one and to lose it on the last day has to hurt. It just has to. The Indians should in theory do some damage.
11 - The Haze
Given the history of Red Sox/Yankee hate relationship, there is no way that game was just another game vs. the Yanks. That hurt,plain and simple,and if they falter ,it will be that game that is talked about.I'm surprised the sports people aren't talking about it now,with the lead down to 1.5........
12 - alessandro
Yeah it's hilarious how they are downplaying it. Especially considering that very few experts thought the Yanks would even make the playoffs. 14 1/2 to 1 1/2 - how can it not hurt?
13 - Matthew T. Sussman
Reason #352 why I try to never make long-term season predictions anymore.