Batting Around is BC Sports' look back at the week's happenings in the world o' sports, presented in a lineup card format for some undisclosed reason.
The Lineup Card
1. WR Chad Johnson — He said he'd do it during the Browns game this past weekend if he caught a touchdown in Cleveland. Then he catches two of them. And on the second one, he lived up to his promise: Chad Johnson, the charismatic Bengals wide receiver, lept into the Dawg Pound for, uh, some reason.
Now Johnson comes back and admits what we were all thinking in the first place — that it wasn't such a great idea to hop into the section containing the opponent's most zealous fans. Much like Jim Gaffigan after eating a Hot Pocket, this is a much-expected regrettable action.
2. SS Derek Jeter — The Yankees captain's 3-run home run on Sunday night against the Red Sox elicited many #$%@s and *(!&s out of me, but rather than expound on exactly how frustrating it is to be a Tigers fan trying to chase the Yankees, I'll just refer you all to what The Onion said a month ago about this damn team.
3. F1 Team McLaren — You thought Bill Belichick's $500,000 fine was steep? Well, take that sum total, and now double it. Take that product, and add two zeros anywhere to the right of the one. You now have $100,000,000, or $100 million, or £49.2 million, or 250,626.57 8GB iPhones, or 1.8 Darren Dreiforts. That's how much that Formula One team McLaren was fined for spying after receiving classified documents with technical information about Team Ferrari ... or something like that. I don't exactly understand what the hell happened (which in a way makes it exactly like the Patriots videotaping thingamajigger), but when a nine-figure fine is imposed, you know it's serious.
4. $$$ Tiger Woods — Yahoo! Sports editor Michael Arkush has dug up with a "Yahoo! Sports Exclusive" (although I contend there should be more exclamation points in that phrase): Arkush has found who Woods' rival is. Not Lefty or Sergio. Not Vijay or Ernie Els. Not even Rory Sabbatini!