Greetings. Your usual Semper Cardinalis writer couldn't make it today, so a real journalist with a degree in journalism is going to class up this joint. My name is Branch Barlow and you know me as the lead sports columnist at the St. Louis Reader and Press, the city's leading newspaper not founded by the mob. I'll go over the last few games to show you just how the Cardinals organization, lead in the shadows by VP/Farm Director Jeff Luhnow and his puppet John Mozeliak, is choking the life out of this team to prevent its success.
Game 72 vs. S.F., L 10-0: The Birds on the Bat didn't get ruffled in this game as phenom Tim Lincecum pitched a near perfect game. Mark DeRosa made his debut at the Cards hot corner and went 0-for-4. I can already hear the uproar from the fans. DeRosa, if you don't know, DeRosa was brought over from the Cleveland Indians for Chris Perez and another Cabbage Patch Kid. That's what I call Cardinal prospects drafted under the Jeff Luhnow administration because they are overhyped and generally worthless today. All the fans that love the Cabbage Patch Kids hated seeing Perez go for DeRosa. They say it was too much. Listen, you can't keep all your prospects. They aren't all going to be Hall of Famers. Look at the stats, plebes. DeRosa is a league leader in RBIs. In other game news, Brad Thompson looked like a poor man's Todd Wellemeyer. The front office watches on as the rotation runs two pistons short.
Game 73 vs. S.F., L 6-3: Once again, Pujols was the only source of offense, this time on a night when Chris Carpenter had his worst start of the year. When are these guys going to wake up? Pujols isn't going to want to stay on a team that isn't committed to winning. Rick Ankiel went hitless again. Why does TLR keep running him out there every night? Ankiel is a crowd favorite and Chris Duncan is needlessly vilified. TLR feels the pressure. He knows who ultimately pays his salary. Did you know that around the Cardinals' front office, the farm system is typically called the Luhnow system? It's true.
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