Dear Mr. Johnson:
I have been a Jets fan all my life, but this Sunday, December 30, 2012, I contemplated almost the unimaginable: I thought about becoming a Giants fan. As my team lost miserably to the miserable Buffalo Bills 28-9, I kept switching channels to see the Giants winning their game big (42-7). That’s what great teams do, even if they are out of the playoffs – they win! I hate to break it to you, Woody, but the Jets are not even a good team. They stink!
Getting up and looking at myself in the mirror, I knew I could not wear a Giants cap, not now or ever. But the very fact that I even contemplated it tells you how far I have been pushed as a fan. For example, I am also a NY Mets fan, and never once in all the many years of suffering have I ever thought about becoming a Yankees fan. That would be like a vampire hugging a cross and chomping on garlic chewing gum. The fact that I even thought about becoming a Giants fan, even for a few brief moments, should put a scare into you, Woody.
So now I am going to give you in very apparent order the steps you should take immediately to save this team after it went 6-10.
1. Fire GM Mike Tannebaum. You have to start at the top, and anyone that thought Mark Sanchez was worth more than a plug nickel needs serious help. Let him get it elsewhere.
2. Fire Rex Ryan. The big guy has blown his opportunities here. He cannot be trusted to know what the truth is because I doubt he knows it himself. If you have listened to even one of his press conferences in the last month you will know what I mean.