83-Year-Old Breaks Baseball's Age Barrier, Hip

Jim Eriotes is a detriment to his team. He should be released immediately.

Because in his team's 5-3 win over the St. Joe Blacksnakes of the American Association, he struck out and couldn't reach base. He is the worst leadoff hitter ever.

But can you blame him? Eriotes is 83-years-old.

In the latest independent baseball league publicity stunt, the Sioux Falls Canaries made octogenarian history by putting Eriotes on the roster, making him the oldest player ever to play professional baseball. The previous record was held by Minnie Minoso, who, at age 80, suited up for the St. Paul Saints in 2003.

But Minoso was more productive. He had a higher on-base percentage in the eighth decade of his career as a living human being, for he drew a walk and reached base, whereas Eriotes swung and missed like so many of us in Little League. However, to the old dude's credit, he did foul a pitch off. Good for him.

Eriotes, sadly, has no future in the American Association of baseball. He does, however, have a bright future as a member of a different American Association – the one for retired people (AARP). He and Minoso can meet up and play Strat-O-Matic Baseball or something; perhaps discuss who was a livelier chap back in their heyday: Cap Anson or Christy Mathewson.

But while the Canaries will (hopefully) move on and find a better leadoff hitter – preferably one who doesn't clip coupons for Fixodent – this gives hope to Mets' first baseman Julio Franco, who turns 48 next month. If he's still around in the year 2043, he'll be able to break Eriotes' amazing record.

While playing at 83 may seem like the new DiMaggio hitting streak, the 47-year-old whipper snapper has a sporting chance to one day see playing time in the same lineup as Albert Pujols III.

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Article Author: Matthew T. Sussman

Sussman is the founder and former editor of Blogcritics Sports. Twitter: @suss2hyphens

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Article comments

  • 1 - fyffe179

    Jul 12, 2006 at 2:23 pm

    Lose the ageist joke about breaking his hip. He didn't and it is unpleasant to use a factual error as a "joke."

  • 2 - Matthew T. Sussman

    Jul 12, 2006 at 7:12 pm

    But the best jokes come from inaccuracy.

  • 3 - sal m

    Jul 18, 2006 at 3:38 pm

    actually el duque is the oldest man ever to play ball.

    and i for one have no problem with ageist jokes or using factual errors as the basis as a joke.

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