3) Diva Fits
The best recent example of this belongs to Eli Manning after being drafted by San Diego. After all, who would want to play somewhere that has perfect weather and gorgeous women? Who would want to have that LaDainian Tomlinson guy helping you out in the backfield? He’s worthless! Give me New York! I want to play in a city where any game in which I have a passer rating of less than 90 and a TD/INT ratio of less than 3/1 will make me a pariah. Oh, and can I have noted Schrutebag Tom Coughlin as my coach? Daddy, I don’t wanna go to San Diego! (See also: Elway, John)
4) Why Haven’t I Been Drafted Yet?
Inevitably, there will be one guy there who is just positive he’s getting picked very early. Then, as if on cue, he will just keep getting passed over. I thought the ESPN crew was going to call out a suicide watch for Aaron Rodgers as he slid from potential first overall pick all the way down to Brett Favre’s towel boy at No. 22.
5) Sartorial Splendor
Sure, you would never wear a quadruple breasted cream-colored suit with purple pinstriping, gator boots, a cane, and a fedora with a red feather – but why should that stop Ted Ginn from doing it? While watching Roger Goodell hand over the jersey isn’t as funny to see as Stern (at least I’m assuming so, this is Goodell’s first draft as commissioner) crazy suits are always a guaranteed laugh. Then you remember the guy in the suit is about to make twenty times what you make. But then you start laughing again, so all is well.
6) Rampant Trade Speculation
There will be roughly eighty-four potential blockbuster trades that general managers will be “in talks” about during the first round. Approximately none of these will come true. However, for the five minutes that you think Randy Moss is being shipped to Cincinnati for a third round selection and a DVD of Dog: The Bounty Hunter, you are in heaven.
Article comments
1 - T. Michael Testi
Nice take! Jerkwheat. It kind of makes Baseball seem like a speed event; golf like a race!
But yeah, it'll be on between mowin the yard, washing the car, skinin the cat. It'll be on.
For me it is the begining of the fantasy football season. So gotta watch!
T.
2 - Matthew T. Sussman
11) Catching the ticker two spots after the one you're curious about, and watching it crawl across the screen a few cycles until it gets back to the one you missed.
3 - Justene
One is allowed to do other stuff during the draft? Hmm. Never knew that. I am pretty sure that remaining glued to the chair for the entire frickin' weekend convinces my husband that I am the best wife in the world for another year.
I also watch the Scouting Combine. Every year.
4 - Bob
Correction.........Aaron Rodgers went 24th.....not 22nd..................
5 - Jerkwheat
d'oh!
on the plus side, the extra two spots he had to wait allowed the counselors to talk Rodgers off of the ledge
6 - Vince Mullins
Don't forget 12) Berman tipping the pick of the Buffalo Bills, right before they circle the wagons...
7 - Jimmy CrackCorn
Nice take on the draft I especially enjoyed your jabs at the clothing worn by soon to be young black millionaires. Everytime I watch a black athlete who's in a suit I say to myself "Where did you find that suit?" I mean, who designs them, who makes them and who sells them? I've never seen those crappy suits in a store, I guess they are ghetto-only production. There are sweatshops in harlem I guess, not just in Chinatown.
Re: Eli, I agree with you re: weather and women but remember the Chargers, like all San Diego teams, are LOSERS, and prob always will be. He wanted to go to a solid organization with a chance to win.
Oh, and Tiki Barbeer for a 2+ year stretch outperformed LT and every other running back in the NFL in just about every statistical category except touchdowns. Yards rushing, YPR, catches, YPC, 100 yard games, 20+ yard runs, etc.
Look it up.
It wouldn't hurt to tone down the anti-NYC bias.The fact that Tiki's performances were downplayed throughout his career is proof that East Coast bias, at least whem it comes to sports, is dying if not dead.