Leave it to the folks in DC to, again, show us the way. In Tuesday's Washington Times article, "Price dip adjusts Bush's gas legacy" writer Stephen Dinan showed us an example of how someone can basically say anything if given a set of facts and — here's the key — still not lie.
Dinan notes that the average price of a gallon of gas on December 29 was "$1.33 in 2001 dollars, or 9 percent less than it was the day Mr. Bush took office." Therefore, it's evident that, um, President Bush solved the gas crisis. He introduced the concept with an anti-Bush bumper sticker complaining about how much gas prices have risen since he took office, which was completely with merit because the affordability of gas and Bush's success in office should be directly related (as a bonus, the accompanying picture to the story is a black man refueling his tank, which means even Obama supporters can get behind the job this wonderful man has done to lower gas prices to two bucks).
And yet … no lies! Because leaving out facts isn't really lying. Technically, there are trillions of facts out there, such as the anatomic composition of marmosets, that have nothing to do with gas prices. The only thing he really left out was that the owners of Paddy's Pub already solved the gas crisis in Season 4. Wild card, bitches!
For example, we can use this logic to say that since Stephen Dinan used shitty logic to argue that Bush was a great president, most Republicans think this same way, since the Washington Times is largely read by Republican subscribers. In fact, perhaps Dinan is a secret mole planted in the WT by the government, since shoddy conclusions were what basically got the Bush administration into hot water in the first place. "You can't just send supplies into a hurricane-damaged city without filing the proper paperwork. Properly-filed paperwork is what separates us from the terrorists!"
To use a probably less contentious example, we can point out that the Detroit Lions lowered ticket prices for the 2009 season. Given that the Lions raised prices from '07 to '08 and subsequently went from 8-8 to 0-16, we can safely assume that a) the Lions will start selling out games again, and b) they will probably go 8-8 again no matter what.
Try it yourself, and you'll find out that the conclusions you're desperately seeking can be easily attained with a keen eye and John Nash's knack for patterns. Before you know it, stances on global warming, the economy, and the triumphant return of Betamax will be yours to hug.Powered by Sidelines