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Sopranos Spoiler

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I know how the Sopranos will end.

I base this on no insider information. I have not stolen the scripts for the upcoming season nor have I slept with David Chase. I have, however, just finished re-watching the entire series. This has led me to several inescapable conclusions.

First, this is the funniest show on TV. Maybe ever. On seeing it again, it seems so obviously to be structured primarily as a comedy. Chase must have been thinking, “Wouldn’t it be hysterical if…” And no show earns its laughs the way this one does, putting real people into a sub-world with its own tight but insane logic.

Second, I always thought that Steven Van Zandt – Silvio on the Sopranos, and Springsteen’s guitarist off the Sopranos – wore that stupid scarf because he was balding. Now I’m concluding that he wears it because Silvio’s hair isn’t a hairpiece. Scary!

Third, I have a guess about how the series ends. Here goes…

[SPOILER ALERT!] [SPOILER ALERT!]

Christopher, his nephew, turns state’s evidence on Tony in order to save his own ass. Adriana, his fiancee, has already been turned into an informant. She ends up informing on Chris – do you really want to see them get married? – who then tries to weasel out of it by ratting on Tony. We were set up for this ending in the previous season when Tony told the drug-addled Chris that from now on, Tony’s going to confide only in Chris because he alone in the crew is a blood relative.

I will admit that this leaves a few questions unanswered. Will Carmela be left alone? Yes. Will Dr. Melfi testify at Tony’s trial? Nah, they won’t show the trial. Will Paulie Walnuts switch to Johnny Sack’s crew? Nope, it’s clear that Johnny recognizes Paulie for the disloyal tool that he is. Will Bobby and Janice tie the knot? Let’s hope not. In fact, I see a doomed fade-out on Janice eyeing Artie. Will Meadow continue her escape from the world of the Sopranos? Yes, she will continue walking the straight and narrow path of boredom, although she will realize how deeply she loves her father and the ethos within which she was raised, as Tony is perp-walked into re-runs. Will AJ get through adolescence without killing himself? Yeah, but maybe only because Chris ends up killing one of his friends. Will Ralphie arise from the dead and reassemble himself? Unfortunately not. Who will take over the family? Johnny Sack, but only after Janice exhibits a surprisingly strong will to power. Will the BaddaBing remain open? Yes, but it will be converted into an Office Max.

Despite my pretense of 100% certainty, I remain puzzled by the biggest dramatic question my pulled-out-of-my-nethers scenario raises: How early in the season will we know that Christopher is betraying Tony? My guess is that they’ll tell us early on, leaving us to wonder if Tony will whack Chris or Chris will whack Tony.

Which leaves one final question: Which of the existing characters are not going to make it out of the series alive? My two favorite candidates for the dead pool are Paulie Walnuts because he deserves it and Artie Bucco because he doesn’t.

Of course, there’s a tiny possibility I might be wrong about some of this.

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About David Weinberger

  • http://dieselnation.blogs.com Madison

    you sir, are wrong. Tony will hae the oppotunity to turn states and will consider it deeply. Whether he does or not will be the dramatic climax of the series.

    Tony’s son will want to get into the family business to the horror of his dad. He’s alsready seen two young guys he considered like sons ruined. He doesn’t want it to happen again. Plus his life will be in danger from Johnny Sack’s crew. Plus without the help of Melfi his mental state begine to unravel. All this will push him to want to leave behind the mob game and save himself and his family.

    Let’s see what happens.

  • http://www.hyperorg.com/blogger David Weinberger

    I like it! I especially like the dynamic with AJ.

    But Tony’s on his own now that Carmela has left him. That takes away some motive for wanting to turn state’s evidence. He might do it to save his family, but do it for himself? I don’t think so.

    BTW, since you mention that he’s seen 2 young guys ruined, we have another pattern of 2 waiting for a third: Janice’s men last about as long as Spinal Tap drummers. We’ll see if Bobby survives her…

  • Eric Olsen

    Very logical and interesting possibility Dave, great to hear from you!

  • http://www.filteringcraig.com Craig Lyndall

    Does anyone remember the Russian who Chris and Paulie lost in the woods? He never revisited. I hate that loose end. Anyway, these are all interesting thoughts. I think it could very easily happen that Tony would kill himself as the ultimate move to make you feel sorry for a bad guy, which was the interesting part of the show to begin with.

  • dan

    you are a ########, get a life, that is all!

  • Joey G

    Ok… This is turning into re-run of real life, Does anyone remember what happend to the teflon don.. Well tony will off johnny saks making him the most powerfull boss then makes the ultimate sacrifice for the family and takes the blam for everything and then dies in jail(at the hand of chris “The bull” )…uncle Junior “The Chin” is exposed as mental fake and is now under indictment again. chris sounds like sammy “the bull” and puts tony in jail then disappears. like most of the others in real life “The Family” dont disappear yet just get a little better at keeping a low profile..
    Read the News … you can figure out who the other players are..

  • tonymarkellis

    Tony will die. I heard an interview with P Walnuts and he says “it ends with eveyone crying”. I think Chris would kill Adriana as sson as he knows shes flipped. AJ has no intentions and “wouldnt last a day” in the mafia as Tony says. Expect to see Big Pussy, Ralphie, Mikey all again in Tonys dreams. And Meadow will be pregnant by the end of season 5. Tony B will also make some crazy moves as he’s just laying low right now

  • JenaD

    I think this season Christopher and A will tie the knot but they will both get wacked on their wedding day. Meadow is more than likely going to get knocked up and throw away her life. Tony and Lil Carmine are going to clip Johnny Sack. Tony B is going to turn back to a life of crime and work on a way to take out tony with the help of Janice. Bobby B is going to turn violent when he gets ripped about the way janice treats him. Junior is going to die this season. AJ is going to get beat down by Tony. AJ is also going to get into drugs heavily and weird sex acts. Carmela is going to shack up with a few men including one of Tony’s young body guards. Melfi is going to open up to Tony about the rape.

  • jpc20

    Little tony is gonna eventually take over the family..big tony will eventually retire and might avoid prosecution, AJ will get better, meadow will get knocked up, carmela will rat on the guy she was seeing to get revenge, he will get the shit kicked out of him, little carmine will get whacked with the help of big and little tony who will stage the hit

  • jonnydanger

    ok First of all.. Big T turning states evidence? Give me break. hes the top dog.. all else is little fishes compared to him. I have always wondered if Christopher will eventually flip. And if he does, i woudlnt be suprised to see big T try and defend him an get whacked because of it. Tonite was interesting. Was Fin proposing to Meadow in order to save his ass from the newly found out homo Vito? i must admit i laughed my ass off after seeing vitos head come up from that security guys lap. Fin looks like John Kerry. He needs to move back to cali. It was also very interesting to see as Carmine tried to get a lawyer, and was turned down. The Bear was watching teh house. (very interesting metaphor). Tony Blew it and should have gone into the house. he could have had carm back. but in any case she will be back with T. I woudlnt be suprised if Buscemi Gets whacked next week on the show. And WHAT HAPPENED TO THE RUSSIAN. I WANT THAT RESOLVED!

  • ShiksaGrrrl

    Tonights Show, May 9th—anyone know the artists name that did the song at the end of the show which is an old song…….the lyrics are:

    ” ‘Cause I’m not like everybody else,
    I’m not like everybody else,
    I’m not like everybody else,
    I’m not like everybody else.
    and I don’t want to ball about like everybody else,
    and I don’t want to live my life like everybody else,
    and I won’t say that I’m so fine like everybody else,
    ‘Cause I’m not like everybody else,
    I’m not like everybody else. ”

    Think it was done by the Kinks and Chris Spedding……..at least that i know of so if anyone knows WHO this is, please post it here and/or email me the answer πŸ˜‰

  • HW Saxton Jr.

    That was The Chesterfield Kings. A neo-
    garage rock band from upstate New York.
    Steve Van Zandt plays them once in a while on his radio show.

  • sam ruiz

    The song at the end of the May 9 episode was “I’m Not Like Everyone Else” by the Kinks that appears on their 1965 album “Kinkdom.”

  • http://www.cottageviews.com M. Cimino

    “I’m not like everybody else” is the b side to the 1966 single “Sunny Afternoon,” but the version played on the Sopranos was definitely a more contemporary live version that I haven’t heard before. If anybody knows more – let me know – ASAP!

  • Marukka

    I’M NOT LIKE EVERYBODY ELSE… BOSS HOG

  • BRICKLAYER

    Was that the Kink’s version off of the “Close to Bone” album from 1996, or was it someone else? It sure sounded like Ray Davies. That song rips, best ending song for a Sopranos episode since “You can’t put your arms around a memory”! And on this, there can be no debate.

    Also, was Jennifer Malfi’s assailant ever dealt with by Tony?

  • UncleJr

    Definitely the kinks – see here

  • HW Saxton Jr.

    Bricklayer, No. Dr. Melfi’s rapist was
    never dealt with. She seemed like she was going to tell Tony at one point but
    decided against it. You could tell she had mixed feelings about doing this and
    it made for a fairly tense episode.

  • Johnny

    well kiddies…. Hate to let it out but Meadow is going to take a dirt nap!

  • Joe

    Dude, you couldn’t have been any more wrong. Hope you learn from this.

  • chris

    What about Fiorio does he make a return?

  • jessica

    what was the name of the van morrison song played on the sopranos final episode of 2004?

  • ClubhouseCancer

    That’s the wonderful “Glad Tidings,” the last song on the wonderful Moondance.

    “I’ll send you glad tidings from New York!”

  • srm

    this is old stuff, sounds like the end of season 4. any way after seeing all 5 seasons recently. the only thing i know is the last scene of the series will show tony by the pool, dying maybe? by his wife maybe?, anyway… the ducks return.

  • bjt

    Wow that was some terrible predictions. Why would you ever think that Christopher would turn on the family to save the woman he is constantly beating and belittling? And the fact that the Sopranos is the funniest show on TV? It’s unintentional 7 times out of 10. I’m hoping this was a fake spoiler you wrote when on this quasi-informative blog.

    SRM you’re right, the only thing that is guaranteed in the Sopranos is that David Chase thinks he is smarter than he really is and will try to hide the fact that the Sopranos is popular not because of his “genius”, but rather the powerful characterization he created solely by the actors. He will certainly attempt to make the final scenes a montage of predictible sequences that will lead the characters into a full circle with an uninspired illustration of the ducks in the pool as if to say “I knew it would be this outcome from the moment I created the Sopranos.” Well sir, you didn’t, if you did you wouldn’t have sold it to HBO you would have made 10 times more money on the big networks because you are a money-hungry pig.

  • RogerMDillon

    hey, look at the bitter guys. How much money have you geniuses made creating TV shows?

    Spoiler: The answer is none

  • meech

    how the heck can i download ‘I’m not like anybody else’? I can’t find the album it’s on. Not on emusic.com Need a hand, please.

  • paulie

    Sil, Paulie and Vito are all toast before the season ends….Tony will not kill Chris because he is family to him.Sis will kill Bobby sooner than later because she is Bi-polar and just can’t control her temper when she flips out. After Tony whacks his captains he will blame it on Johnny Sak and he will wipe him off the map too leaving him to make an easier exit with his family into either exile or protective custody…..we’ll see!!

  • http://www.thebubble2.com gdog

    While everyone was expecting Tony to die, Silvio proved to be the only one loyal to Tony. His wife tried to convince him he could be the new kingpin, but he doesn’t want to be, and the idea and stress of it made him physically sick (asthma kicked up big time). Paulie’s a weasel and he’ll get whacked at some point. Vito’s a homo and a weasel. Besides he’s already off’d himself. Chris started dabbling in the movies again, something Tony didn’t want him to do. So, that will rear its ugly head again and cause some friction between him and Tony with Chris possibly getting whacked if he doesn’t back down.

    Johnny Sak lost credibility, even with his own crew and will get whacked by Leotardo as he makes a bid to take over the NY gang. With Johnny Sak out of the way, Tony will eventually whack Leotardo and run the whole show.

    Junior really is crazy and he’s gonna get whacked by AJ.

    The only ones leftover after all is said and done are Silvio and Bobby. Bobby will stay with Tony in NJ. Silvio will lend his experience and loyalty as the #2 man and “consultant” for the new guy that takes over in NY.

    In previous seasons I used to go out on a limb and speculate that Meadow would be the heir to Tony’s throne. We’ve already been introduced to the idea of a woman in charge when they went to Italy a few seasons ago. I’ve since backed off, but still think she may play a major role in the “family”, just not sure how.

    The person that will quickly rise to power and take ove in NY with Silvio and Tony’s guidance? AJ. He’s just like his dad was when his dad was young.

  • narf

    narf

  • daniel

    could anyone please tell me the name of the song palying at the second episode in session 6!???
    please help me

  • daniel

    itΒ΄s at the end and begins:”where were you when i was lonesome….”!

  • joe

    You are an idiot. Update this website fuckface, your spoiler sucks ass.

  • Jill

    In the first episode of this season, Tony is up at the cabin and everybody in the episode especially Tony keeps looking across the lake at the trees in Canada. That is where he ends up! Tony will not die everybody else maybe but not Tony nor will he end up in jail. There is talk of a Sopranos movie. How can they have a movie if he is dead or in jail! He flees to Canada!

  • reva oliner

    its over when the fat lady sings;of course the singer is a soprano;could be janice but my guess its always been tony!

  • Heather

    Ah…the beauty of the show, the little snippets of “info” that lead nowhere. My bf thought it would end with a nuclear bomb, because of the story Tony sees on the news at the end of season 5, and the continuing interactions with the mysterious mid-eastern guys. I like how it ended, or didn’t end…actually, I didn’t care, seeing the show was enough, and I hope there is a movie in the works, and soon.

  • Knut

    The Kinks song, I’m Not Like Everybody Else, is from their 96 release “To The Bone”.

    Read more here.

  • DANNY

    Ok. The song at the end of the S.6 E.2 is Moby – When its Cold I’d Like to Die. That starts with “Where were you when i was lonesome”

  • JTV

    FINALLY SOMEONE FIGURES THAT OUT… JEEZE