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Sopranos season finale spoiler

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Many of you have wondered how my previous set of Soprano spoilers could have been so dead-on accurate. The answer is simple: I make things up, pretend afterwards that I got it right, and hope that no one checks.

So, here’s my prediction for what happens in the season finale. It’s something the entire season has prepared us for. It has the inevitability of billiard balls caroming off the sides of the table. It is almost too obvious to say:

Tony shoots the bear.

Everything in the season conspires towards this. First, the bear was introduced with a feint, misdirecting us into believing that it was a way to get Carmella and the game warden together. Every few episodes, the bear comes back, seemingly the most under-motivated event in the season – if they can set a girlfriend on fire just so Tony can have a heartless breakup scene with her, they sure better have a reason for air-dropping the bear into random episodes. Finally, the entire season has been engineering Tony’s return to Carmella. Here we thought it was in order to say something about the complexity of love and marriage, but in fact it was simply a way to get Tony and the bear into the same scene.

So, Tony shoots the bear. Then, in one of their patented scenes of black comedy, he and Sil are caught cutting up the carcass. (Why Sil? For the irony of his not getting caught for his other offings.) As Tony is perp-walked from his house, the head of the FBI unit is requesting warrants to search Tony’s house for evidence of hunting without a license and animal cruelty.

The episode closes with a shot of Carmella, Meadow and AJ watching being Tony taken away. AJ says, “For shooting a fucking bear??” Cue the Davey Crockett theme song.

It is not possible that any detail of this spoiler could be wrong.

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About David Weinberger

  • felixml

    Is the bear’s name Furio by any chance?

  • Eric Olsen

    Thanks David, most bold and perceptive of you. John Irving likes bears a lot also – not sure what it means. We shall see. I missed the last two shows being on vacation, guess we’ll have to pick up the DVD when it comes out. Interesting season.

  • http://www.resonation.ca Jim Carruthers

    Eric, if you missed the last two eps, you really should grab them via bittorrent since they are the two crucial eps of the season.

    I don’t wanna spoil them or nothing, but the ep “Test Dream”, Tony has a dream, and if you’ve paid attention in the previous seasons, this means something, and the second “Long Term Parking”, a car gets parked permanently. Okay somebody gets whacked. In the woods, With a gun. And it wasn’t the bear.

    As for the bear, I don’t buy it, obviously if they nailed him for going after pik-in-ik baskets, they would just take it to DiSalvio’s where it would become many gamey sausages. I’m sure Artie has a recipe for bruin risotto.

  • Eric Olsen

    Hmm, sounds like we need to get those. Thanks Jim.

  • Matt Sweet

    This season could be aptly summed up as cinematic blue balls…. i am very disappointed

  • http://oakhaus.blogspot.com Bill Sherman

    Nope, Tony BECAME the bear. . .

  • http://www.resonation.ca Jim Carruthers

    That last shot of Tony lunbering through the underbrush was really brilliant. I think this is the first season where the last episode came around to some sort of resolution of the arcs started with the first, and a lot of loose ends got tied up.

  • Ryan

    What bear?

  • D.

    Paulie Shoots and kills Meadow.

  • http://www.myspace.com/capparegan Cappa

    No, here it goes, Tony wakes up in the hospital after a severe accident they never showed before the start of season 1. He is really a trashman the whole time that was in a coma, everything was dream all along, it ends with him putting trash into a trash truck with big pu$$y his sidekick complaining about his job & life signifying why he wanted him dead in his coma state of mind.

    LOL

    Cappa