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Social Security money distributed

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After days of discussions, the government finally decided to stop collecting Social Security and distribute balance funds equally amongst working and retired people. This comes as a relief to 94.5 percent of the population. They are happy to see an end to an already obsolete Social Security system.

A quick poll was conducted across a wide spectrum of people about how they plan to spend or invest their money.

Here are some of the male responses received:

Ages 21 – 30 plan to buy XBox, Sony PSP and Nintendo based games.
Ages 31 – 40 plan to spend their share on home improvements.
Ages 41 – 50 plan to buy convertibles and go for hair transplants
Ages 51 – 70 plan to spend their money on second or third marriages.

Female responses were equally interesting:

Ages 21 – 30: Get implants
Ages 31 – 50: Get facial plastic surgery and liposuction
Ages 51 – 70: Get implants again

Funnily enough, not a single respondent spoke about investing the money in retirement funds!

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About Harish Keshwani

  • They didn’t ask me! (but I’ve had my eye on a certain implant popularized by spam eMail…)