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Showing Some Grey…

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“Where have all my friends gone
They’ve all disappeared
Turned around maybe one day
You were all that was there”

The Jayhawks – “Blue” – Tomorrow the Green Grass

I hate to admit it but Generation X is starting to show its grey.

Yea…I said it. We’re getting old and believe me I’m just as surprised as you are.

And yet the real question is not how we made it this far, but how do we deal with it?

Do you wake up every day and regret the time that has passed? Or do you just get up, stretch your aching back, brush your teeth, and head off to work, waiting anxiously for the time when you can head home and be with the ones you love?

Gone are the days of full-blown nitro-fueled angst, fading into the past with the anger and rage of being “rats in a cage.” In most cases this “pain” was easily replaced by the loving smile or twinkling laughter of our own children.

I was reminded of just how far I had come the other day as my daughter gently played with my scarred earlobes and said to me, “Daddy, you don’t wear earrings! How come your ears have holes?”

She doesn’t know there was a time when daddy was just as comfortable in a leather kilt and black lipstick as I am now in a rugged pair of jeans with a black t-shirt…and you know what? I wouldn’t trade her curiosity and tender touch for a million nights back on the dance floor, spinning wildly to an industrial mix of NIN while tweaked out of my mind on whatever designer drug had made it into my plastic cup and across my lips that night.

Has it been an easy ride? Hell no!

I have lived a wild life that wasn’t always pleasant and most certainly isn’t over. However, there has to come a moment when that which made us who we are becomes just a memory and we face the reality of our present. Remember, we have made it farther than many of those who started with us on this trip and the future will never seem to be as bright as those moments we have left behind.

To those out there still trying desperately to hold back the tides of time and capture just a moment of that long-lost magic, mark my words.

Embrace your grey, love the life you have, and always own a great pair of sunglasses because in your hearts the strobe still flashes, the bass keeps on thumping, and dark shades will always make you look cool…even if the face in the mirror isn’t recognizable anymore. 

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About C. David Apgar