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Short Hair Got Me Nowhere

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I’ve grown my hair long and now I’m getting noticed and getting looks. Before, I had a flattering style and my hair was in better condition, and even dyed a flattering shade of auburn some of the time, but no dice. Not a single compliment from a male and not many from women. My hair used to resemble Oprah’s curly do, only with a smaller profile, since I don’t have professional help. I thought that objectively it looked nice, but since I inadvertantly grew my hair out, I found out that I was getting a better response, and I’m going to stick with what I’ve got. The condition of my hair was better before, and it’s streaked with gray all the time now, but they still like it a lot better.

I understand men not liking unflattering, severe or butch haircuts. Mine was medium, and had curls and volume and was feminine. No dice. It probably resembled a color and cut that some middle aged housewives like but it had a different spirit, more like Clara Bow, or, as I said, Oprah’s new do which people like. Didn’t matter. I’m guessing I was tarred with the frumpy middle aged housewife with a perm brush, even though it wasn’t like that. I know that men prefer long hair, I just didn’t know they preferred it that much.

What do you think?

As we are asked to select a book to go with our subject matter, I found Curly Girl to be very useful and I recommend it. You should find a link to it here.

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About Cerulean

  • May


    I totally understand. I guess for me, sensuality is not everything. Some people place more importance on it than others. definitely if you are going for most sensual, a woman with young skin, big breasts, long, sensuous hair, and a nice, round bottom is the ideal.

    I guess I would rather connect with my partner on a mental, spiritual, emotional and friendship level first.

    For me, just being in the presence of my SO was erotic…While he was by no means overweight, he was not a body builder. Being with him was erotic by itself since I loved him, deeply and truly.

    I would like to think he would feel the same. I know men are more visual, but I would rather that he love me than my hair or parts.

    Like it or not, we are all getting older, older….the pure sensual aspect is ephemeral, but love is forever. Since my SO and I love each other, we find each other incredibly sexy.

    Sex, afterall, begins in the mind. 🙂

  • Robert

    Yes, “ravishing”, May. LOL Well, you and Cindy chose to cut off your hair and you are happy with it. I’m happy FOR you. But my knees still buckle when I see a woman who has grown out her short hair. The “cleaned up” look is not what most guys find sensuous. It’s a wonderful feeling to have my wife’s long hair draped over my chest. But, to each his or her own!

  • May

    I cut my hair and I feel more confidence and mature. People also take me and my opinions more seriously.

    I noticed at a conference I just attended that two women speakers, both blonde, all had long “ravishing” (as some men on this board might say) locks. Even though they were both intelligent, both came across as desperate little girls trying to look pretty. When I googled them afterward to learn more about their background, the most common description used to describe them was “hot.” No one was commenting on their ideas, etc.

    Why do most female news anchors and hosts all have long hair? Most look like eye candy as opposed to serious, credible newscasters.

    I found the long hair on my speakers very distracting as they flicked their heads around, sending hair flying. Yes, I am sure men thought they were “hot.” But did they hear a word they said?

  • Cindy

    I had grown out my hair…and I felt boring and dowdy. In order to get it looking really nice, I would have to spend probably an hour or more styling it. Who has the time? So, usually it looked a mess.

    I also thought I was aging quickly. (I hit the dreaded 4-0 mark, and maybe wanted to hold onto the last vestiges of my youth.

    I also was spending too much on clothes trying to fit some vision of feminine sophistication I had in my mind.

    Today I cut my hair — short, stylish, looks like Princess Diana’s….The cut took 15 years off my look. I look youthful and pretty again.

    Even better, I feel differently, like more confident, engaging. energetic, and ready to take on the day.

    The short hair also really shows off my facial features. I look and feelg reat!

    I have also seen before/after pictures, and women almost universally look better cleaned up and with shorter hair.

    I think a lot of wome worry that they will look less feminine and attractive to men with shorter hair. In my case, the opposite is true, but I also have a bf who loves me for me, short or long hair…he even loved me despite the fact that I looked

  • S.T.M

    Lol. I agree Rosey. That’s not a good look.

    Short hair DID get me somewhere, though.

    On the only occasion I have come back to Australia with short hair – in half a dozen trips out of the country in the past decade – I have not been stopped by border security.

    However, the Customs folk have persistently pegged me when I have had long(ish) hair …

    Stereotyping is alive and well. Not that I’ve ever brought anything illegal back home, but I suppose if you were so inclined, the lesson from all that would be to have a short back and sides, a nice suit and shiny shoes.

    I also marvel at the different way I’ve been treated by the police when I’ve been pulled over for random breath testing on more than a couple of occasions. Wearing a suit, it was all “thank you sir, have a nice night”.

    With long hair and boardshorts and a couple of surfboards in the back of the wagon, it was: “Are these yours?” “What have you been doing today?” “The number and date on your licence looks like it’s been scratched off with sandpaper (the result of being in my wallet and rubbing against other cards) … mate, get a new one and stop wasting my time and yours or next time I’ll issue you with a fine”.

    Someone should tell the cops and customs that they need to look for the people who actually look like they might not be doing anything wrong; it’s the perfect disguise.

    Only an idiot would do something wrong wearing beachy-type casual clothes … and long hair. You’d be a walk-up start for a check over.

    As for women and hair, long or short … wear what suits your face. And make sure it’s what you like, not what everyone else thinks you should like.

  • In my opinion if you have long hair with a centre parting you have zero sense of style and are nothing but boring to look at.

  • Michelle

    I a girl and I’ve always got compliments when I cut my hair short, and I got the same amount with long hair..some people can pull it off, some cannot, but if you’re not a very pretty girl it’s easier to “hide” behind long hair and still come across as attractive, but if you cut your hair short, then there’s no hiding. As for men, only some can pull off long hair, others cannot, just like girls.

  • Robert

    If long hair isn’t more beautiful, (yes, even CURLY long hair), how many women do you know who cut their hair short for their weddings as opposed to those who grow it out?

  • Poopsie

    Every time I got to get my hair cut, I tell my stylist to please give me a short cut. Each time, they respond in horror, begging me to keep the length. I leave with a cute do that grows out in no time, leaving me with a mess on my head. Any idea why stylists would react in this way? (By the way, I look cute in a short do and feel mroe confident and professional with a polished, “adult” look.

  • Gabbie

    I have had my hair long before but i keep going back to a short cut. I have way more compliments because i stick out and suprisingly it seems to work way better in interviews.

  • Kate

    Toodles, I agree with you.

    You would be surprised at the entitlement mentality of a lot of men. Many perhaps unconsciously hold the view that women exist to please them.

    When I am dressed beautifully – in a classy fashion, where I look put together, I have had men approach me (on many occasions) and ask me to sleep with them. WHen I say no, I am baited, “I thought you were more generous than that” as they follow me down the street.

    Bear in mind, I am not seductive and I live in an upper middle class professional community.

    At the same time, if I am out in sweats and haven’t botherd to put on make up or if I just threw something on to do errands and look slightly unfashionable or just plain frumpy, men will go out of their way to treat me terribly and even make insulting comments.

    My view is that you should maintain your own standards regardless of whether men approve or not. Good, decent, quality men will value you — and will not be so driven in what appears to be a Pavlovian fashion — ie, they see long, lush hair or a nicely dressed woman and suddenly think, in their porn-drenched minds, that she ripe for the pickings….or that if you dress more modestly, cut your hair, or just don’t put a lot of effort into your appearance, that you must be a closet man hater, not sexually available, and therefore someone who will frustrate their passions.

    Who wants or needs men like that anyway.

    You should wear a hair that suits you. By the way, long hair is associated with sexy siren whereas short hair is associated with professionalism, modesty, and chastity.

    Have you also noticed that most men of stature and substance date and marry women with shorter hair whereas the average doofus, beer drinking, sex/porn addicted male prefers long hair and eye candy?

    I even think quality men are just as put off by long hair as quality women are by men who act like dogs.

  • toodles

    TO the guy that says “he detests female fashion contrary to male wishes”

    This guy is ridiculous. It is one thing to say you prefer long hair because it is a personal preference. That is fine. Everyone has their personal beauty or sexual preferences.

    But to be personally offended because someone else cuts their hair is ridiculous. It’s their hair they can do what they want with it. People dont have to conform to you, and likely because of your hostility they don’t even want to.

  • toodles

    i used to have long, thick curly hair. Needless to say, i think when people say they prefer long hair, i think they are imagining beautiful straight hair. Mine was very thick and unmanageable, and even when i straightened it, I still had to have some of it clipped back to keep it from going everywhere. I only got complimented on my hair when i straightened it, which always annoyed me.

    Yes men like long hair and men like straight hair, but ultimately you just have to do what you like. I decided to cut my hair short. I am NOT a beauty btw, but short hair looks better on me. I’ve gotten more compliments on it then when i had long hair, and best of all i can wear it natural. I have layers which allow my curls to frame my face and I no longer have to tie my thick mane of hair back, nor spend an hour detangling in the morning. It also brings out my eyes and makes my face look fuller (i have a long face). It looks very stylish and it seems men like it whether or not they said they would like it :).

  • M.S

    I just trimmed my hair because I never look right in that in between stage- therefore I always give in and cut it again.

    I’m a gamine type with full cheeks and a stubborn chin. Spunky and small. I’ve tried on very short wigs and look awful. I’ve tried on very long wigs and look like I’m twelve, lost under all that hair.

    My best style is a bob with bangs or a shaggy medium-short cut. Without bangs I look horrible. So in cases like mine, I think you go with what makes you look your best. I get a better reaction when I have bangs and wear red lipstick like a modern day flapper. No other look works for me.

  • Freya

    I cut my hair in many funky styles within the past couple of years, from what was just-below-shoulder length hair. The most recent (and current) is a fauxhawk style. I must say this garnered the most compliments from friends (men and women alike) and strangers.

    Unfortunately, I was often called butch and manly and told that my face isn’t delicate enough to have short hair.

    It’s hurtful to hear, but I’m not entirely sure why people voice their opinions without my asking. I hope the same has not and will not happen to you–long hair on women bores me (I am sexually attracted to women and men), just as short hair on men bores me. Perhaps I put too much value on people being interesting by virtue of looking different, but I think it says loads about you that you decided to cut your hair even in the face of mixed opinions and knowledge that many men would dislike it.

    Good for you, truly, and best of luck.

  • Robert

    LOL I *wish* I had enough hair to hinder my vision! But, the only time that happens is when my wife’s hair is smothering me, blissfully, heh heh.

  • Jet

    Bushy eyebrows?

  • Voluptuous brasts? Presumably your hair got in your eyes!

  • Robert

    Cindy, ahem, I do know guys who REALLY hate short hair on women. I think it usually looks OK, but rarely sensational. Sue me, I like seeing women who enjoy and flaunt their ravishing long locks, even in upsweeps. I’ve always loved long hair, and will until the day I die. Thankfully, where I live, more women than ever over 40 have ditched the manly corporate chop.
    That story above by Kate, who cut her hair after feeling disrespect for looking too feminine with long tresses, is just plain sad. There can never be too much beauty in this difficult world. What does a woman do when she receives unwelcome attention for her voluptuous brasts? Bind them?

  • C.

    I’ve always had short-medium hair, but when I turned 15-16, I got really concerned with guys and looking beautiful in their eyes. So I grew my hair a tad bit over the bra-strap. I liked it for a while but felt very ordinary. I looked like all the other girls.

    I went back quickly to a medium bob hair cut and kept it for a while. Now I’m 19 and decided I didn’t give a shit about what guys thought about my hair and if it stops some jerks from flirting with me, then it was only a good thing. I’ve cut them very short, and surprisingly, men look at me even more than when I had long hair. I was a bit anxious the first night out I had after my haircut, but I’ve still got guys flirting with me and asking me out for a coffee, cinema, restaurant.

    Now I walk on the street and I still turn heads on my way. I don’t get compliments on my hair, but I’m told more often that I’m gorgeous than when I had my long naturally black hair.

    Makes me ponder about getting it even shorter. I always was a fan of Audrey Hepburn’s class and Angyness Deyn’s style.

    The thing is, be confident with your choice. Long hair or not and you’ll still attract people.

  • Cindy

    Big C,

    …many (not all) men who prefer longer hair are pretty creepy.

    I had never thought about it. But most women who read the comments of just the last two who posted (#136,137) will likely rush out to get a hair cut, just to be safely out of danger of attracting these guys.

    Hey creepy guys, I have news for you:

    Women hate men who hate women with short hair. You should make a sign with your preferences written on it and wear it around your neck, so women know to avoid you.

  • Not this man! Short hair is way better!

    Seriously, read the comments by women with short hair. They clearly show that many (not all) men who prefer longer hair are pretty creepy.

  • I hate short haired women

    Let your hair grow, women! Men hate women with short hair!

  • Robert

    Heloise and C, love for long hair on women is the same as a man’s passion for breasts, high heels, butts, toes, the list is endless. We can’t help what turns us on. It’s biological. It says nothing about one’s maturity. As for your preference for short hair, only an idiot would take you more seriously because you cropped your hair. I’m sure that other women feel more comfortable now that your glorious locks have vanished. But don’t expect those men who think long hair is sexy to like it.

  • Heloise

    “If I never got a man and my hair was the only reason, then I must be meant to be single.”

    Absolutely right. Sadly, most men in America are that shallow. They have been brain washed to believe that women are just sex objects. Most high powered jobs entertain men and male clients with strip clubs and prostitutes. Women are disrespected in our society and reduced to commodities — and valued based upon how “hot” she is. Anyone watch the “Bachelor” on ABC. Those women are supposedly trying to snag a husband by exposing their breasts and deep cleavage, leaving little to the imagination. All have long hair. Can you imagine a short-haired girl being “sexy?”

    No. Short hair is about being taken seriously and moving beyond the sex selection role. You will immediately lose a large following of men by cutting your hair, but then did you want those types anyway? Good men have higher and better standards. Water does seek its own level — so make sure you are extraordinary in other ways and an extraordinary man will find you.

  • C

    I chopped my hair off two years ago, a classic boy-next-door haircut. I love it. Once a week or more friends, family, and strangers tell me I should grow it out again.

    Maybe I will, eventually. But my hair is not about what other people like, it’s about me. I feel ready to take on the world with short hair. I don’t care that nobody else likes it. I like it. I love it. I feel that it represents my personality; I feel that it’s “me.” Perhaps I’m putting too much meaning in my hair, but perhaps that’s because people have also made so much of it being short. In any case, I will have it short for as long as I wish, because I wish it. That’s all that matters.

    “If I never got a man and my hair was the only reason, then I must be meant to be single.”

    Props to CNoelle; I don’t want a man that shallow! 🙂

  • Anon

    Last summer I decided that I wanted to chop my hair off. I had thought about it often before, and worried a lot about it for a long time before going through with it. I searched for endless styles, wondered if I could pull it off, when finally I just said screw it, and went to my hairdresser to get it over with. She was mortified, of course, and kept asking if I was sure, holding the scissors open over my 10 inches of brown hair. I didn’t even hesitate, told her to chop chop.

    I don’t have the emotional attachment to hair that I thought I did, and while thinking on the subject I noticed the social importance people place on hair. Genetically and evolutionarily speaking, men are attracted to long hair, whatever the reason be, but health seems to be the main factor behind it. Good for many many years ago when we were primal, not as useful today when women can fudge it with hair dye and products. When my hair got chopped, I didn’t feel anything, I found myself wondering why I didn’t feel the urge to shriek or cry, or even laugh giddily. In the end I figure that its just hair: some individuals have diseases that don’t allow them to have it at all, some to have excess. It’s a thing of facade, of appearance, so I treat it as such.

    As far as reactions to my hair, I got hit on most when my hair was long. I’ve been told my hair was nice, guys played with it, its flattering, but there’s no substance behind those reactions as they’re just flirtatious and sexual. When my hair was cut short, I got a ton of mixed reactions, some saying it looked stunning, others said they preferred it long.. those comments, the ones favoring long hair, came from shallow men I have known for a long time. Hey, no big deal if you’re shallow or like the shallow attention, I suppose. Keep your tresses, if you’re into it, or into pleasing other people.

    The important part comes next. I met a guy with my hair short. He was extremely contrary to guys I’ve met and dated in the past, in fact, he had a brain, wit, sense of humor. You know, the whole package.. we had things in common, he was educated, gave me the kind of attention and intimacy that is the solid foundation of a sturdy relationship. My hair is long now, and we are still together after more than a year. What is absolutely AWESOME about hair is that, oh, it grows back. So in the winter (now) I sport longer hair, and this summer I think I’m going to shave it. My boyfriend is encouraging the shave, as a matter of fact. It should be interesting, fun, and if I don’t care for it, it will grow back. If people don’t like it, they can wait.

    I’m not saying you’ll meet Mr. Perfect with shorter hair. My opinion is that if you WANT short hair, if that’s really something you’re even questioning about, do it. There are styles for every shape and size woman. I honestly think it takes balls to go against a social norm, its an incredible feeling and experience once you do, and it is SO easy to take care of. Tedius or whoever, that ignorant dude who keeps making up all that weird male-power stuff is completely off also about maintenance. It makes life way easier, and its fun to style. I spent literally like, one second on my hair in the morning, and the cool thing is you don’t need to wash it every day. What a time-saver.

    So, don’t spend your time weighing the pros and cons of short hair. If there end up being more cons, you get an experience, closure that you do indeed look hideous with short hair and will never have to do it again. On the other hand, you may love it, or like in my case, might get a best friend or special somebody out of it 😀

    (In case you’re wondering, I had a cut that was similar to this. So I did not go extremely short to begin with.)

  • Penelope

    The bottom line is really this. There is a difference in how people will perceive you, depending on whether your hair is long or short. (Sorry, I know I am about to make sweeping generalizations:)
    It is true, as some people have already said, that many equate long hair with “girlish.” So, that make you more appealing sexually. As a result, you will receive a lot of unwanted attention by virtue of your hair. Some women like this kind of attention, by the way. It makes them feel sexy, sensual, and powerful. Sorry to sound vulgar, but I am sure many women have had men approach them and look at them orgasmically, almost as if they are experiencing a high by virtue of being in your presence of seeing your hair shake as you move your head. I remember that some women used to capitalize on this dynamic in college and twirl their hair in their fingers while men just stared at them longingly. If you enjoy that kind of attention, more power to you.
    Some older women look great with long hair. However, as noted above, the men who tend to prefer women with long hair seem to want to be lost in a woman’s sensuality. They claim they love “beautiful women” (as if we were cars they are collecting) and that they grow weak around these powerful, divine creatures. Again, some women love this kind of relationship. These may very well be the kind of men who can’t help themselves as they chase every “beautiful” female in sight (ie, the one who just happens to turn the guy on that given moment.) Some women feel flattered by the attentions. Others resent it, knowing that these guys really can’t see beyond the sex appeal, are not identifying with them as people, and are using you. (You can feel that grasping, desperate, hungry quality these guys have.)
    If you absolutely want sex appeal — long hair is the way to go.
    However, shorter, if the style is right, is much classier. People will be more likely to take you seriously and view you are older, more mature, and intelligent. As some people have said, when you play into the sexy image, sex is all the other person (read: male) will see.  His motive for being with you will likely be predatory — to use, show you off to enhance his own vanity, or simply to get off on you.
    When you cut your hair, you are really joining the ranks of adult women and relinquishing girlhood.  Someone here mentioned the pedophile connection — and I think that’s true.  You’d be surprised at how many pedophiles are out there. Young girls are approached all the time by middle aged/older men.  Predatory/animalistic men prefer youth, innocence, vulnerability and long hair plays into that. A number of guys who have explained their preference for long hair – do so in terms of wanting to keep women in their place or even to experience porno fantasies — of women flipping their hair during sex — or of having orgasms while watching tresses in the wind.  Given the hypersexed society we live in, do you really want to expose yourself to that kind of attention?
    Short conveys spunky, intelligent, no nonsense – as if you have better things to do, think about, contend with than your hair and make up. Contrary to what “sexy women” think, men may drool over their kind, but these women are often not promoted, (I’m talking about the cleavage baring, long haired, bimboesque types), taken seriously, or even respected. Some men have secret contempt for them as they resent the sexual feelings such women elicit.
    Think of all the prominent, successful women who have “voices.” Their hair is short, styled, neat. The hair doesn’t distract. Let’s face it, when you see a woman with long hair on TV, its easy to become distracted when her hair moves  and shakes while she speaks. Its distracting in a way dangling earrings are.
    Ultimately, whole, decent men and women relate to each other as friends, mature people first and foremost and not on a level of animalistic urges.  Men who fall prey to the sex appeal often find themselves weak and at the mercy of such women. The movie “Death Becomes Her” typifies this dynamic – where women use their sex appeal to capture a weak man and then drain him of his life force.
    Guys — let go of your porno fantasies and learn to love women as people first. Your relationships will be healthier, happier, more rewarding. 
    For those of you who think short hair isn’t beautiful, Princess Diana sported a short do and she was widely hailed as one of the most beautiful women of her generation.

  • Kate

    Thank you, Chris. You’re so right:)

    I think European men in general are more respectful towards women and tend to engage them as people first. In Europe, I enjoyed numerous platonic male friendships. We discussed the big ideas of the day, our careers, friends, families, politics, values, etc. In U.S., most men, at least from my experience, engage women as sex objects first. It’s really a chore weeding the good from the bad.

    Short hair is great!(You’re right — European women tend to have better and shorter hair styles!)

    It’s nice to see so many good guys on this board who support respectful treatment of women, like you Chris!

  • Amanda

    Tedius, trust me: swimming with long hair is a pain in the rear. If you only train once or twice a day, it’s not so bad. But I train with up to six two-hour sessions a day. The cap is only half the issue. You also have wet-dry cycles which are hell on long hair (trust me, I know–I used to have hair to the middle of my back). It doesn’t matter what products you use. Constant wet-dry cycles, particularly with chlorinated water, damage hair.
    You’re just shallow.
    By the way, I blow-dry far less with short hair than I did with long hair. I don’t know where you get the idea that long hair doesn’t require blow-drying.

  • I’m glad things are working out well for you, Kate. Your new hair style is serving you well by showing you exactly which guys are jerks! I’m in Europe so maybe we are more used to good hair styles.

  • Kate

    Me again. An interesting dynamic is now occuring with my short cut, which I wanted to share. Now that I am looking more professional, less girly, some men are becomign downright hostile, viewing me as competition. For example, when I walk around, they try to block me such that I have to walk around them, and then they move again my path — as if to make a power grab. Another man today walked into a building in front of me. Both times just as I was reaching for the door handle, he immediately pulled his hand away and let the door follow behind him, so that I would be grabbing hair. Finally when I met up with him in the elevator, I asked, “is there a reason you didn’t hold the door?” Maybe my question was presumptuous, but I asked politely — and expected an apology or even an excuse along teh lines of “oh, I didn’t see you there.” Instead he was very hostile and said: “Why should I hold the door for you. Who are you anyway?” He got mad and started screaming over this one question….Perhaps he has more issues. However, I did not encounter such blatant hostile aggression designed to put me in my place when I had longer hair. Men treated me as a play thing, insubstantial little girl, and an object of sexual conquest/lust. Now I am competition. I suppose they are, perhaps, treating me they would a fellow man or competitor — or are just simply uncomfortable being around strong, competent, confident women. THese woudl likely be the same kind of men who would pull up porn on their computer at work when a professional women approaches them as if to communicate — that they really just think women are good for one thing. The relations between the sexes are so screwed up in this country. At least in Europe, women can be feminine and treated with dignity and respect and as women. In U.S., men seem to resent and want to take down strong women and/or reduce us to sexual objects. Look at how Hillary is treated. Entrepreneurs sell Hillary nut crackers and the incoming speechwriter for the Obama Administration was photographed groping a cut out of Hillary.

    Bottom line — I am happy with my shorter cut. I feel empowered, confident, strong — and apparently am suddenly viewed as a prospective threat and power to be reckoned with as opposed to a little girl to be dismissed or hunted. I am no longer targeted by pervs. I am sure the right people will respond in the right way. I expect to be treated seriously on the job and to attract into my life good, quality people.

    Thanks for this great post. Hair is a metaphor for so much more…

  • Kate

    Thanks for the push, Chris. I cut my hair today. I feel like a new person — polished, professional, and ready to take on the world. I look so much better — and stylish.

  • As I believe I’ve commented above somewhere, long hair is boring, lazy, unattractive and utterly devoid of style. Please do get a great shorter hairstyle and don’t worry about all the shallow men that will then ignore you. A good man will see you for who you are, not for your lack of long hair.

  • Kate

    I am a tall, thin, attractive blonde and have already received a lot of male attention (too much and most of it unwelcomed.) In my 20s, I cut is short for a professional interview. I noticed that with shorter hair, I was taken more seriously, but men stopped hitting on me. In fact, a few even accused me of looking like a boy or being “masculine.” I also noticed that while many professional men liked working with me, they were all married to wives with long hair-meaning they were romantically attracted to a more feminine type. However, as some have noted, the people who did approach me were far more interesting and more apt to have noticed “me” as opposed to some random gorgeous blonde woman with long hair. When I grew my hair longer, it was interesting that some of the men who had taken a shine to me before and who were friends had to explain to their wives, or even “justify” me on account of my beauty. Beauty is a distraction and a curse. It’s true that when you are sexy, that is often the first and only thing anyone will see or notice about you–and you will attract the wrong kind of attention.

    I have grown out my hair as I have been wanting to get married. I am hounded by men everywhere I go — when I go jogging, I regularly get propositioned by men wanting dates/sex or if I go to the restaurant alone, by men, who want to get to know me better–all because of how I look. I can sense immediately that we would not be compatible and that we have nothing in common but by virtue of the fact that they find me sexually stimulating to be around by virtue of my long, gorgeous hair. Again, wrong people/wrong kinds of attention.

    With longer hair, I have also encountered problems with professional advancement. I am not taken as seriously and have even been referred to as “little girl” a few times. I am in my mid-30s. Today when I was bent over shopping a fellow shopped who wanted to talk to me about something told her associate, “Wait, I need to ask this young girl something.”

    Now that I have been laid off due to economic downturn, I am needing to look for work again. I am seriously considering cutting my hair short and stylish. I suppose I am also worried now that if I do, I will greatly diminish my chances of attracting a suitable partner.

    Having said that, I can no longer tolerate the sleazy men who constantly accost me nor can I imagine a distinguished man would want a long haired “girl” as a partner. Long hair does indicate an attempt to retain or recapture youth. I think of all the women I admire, they sport short, stylish hair and are mature, accomplished people.

    Having said that, do any of you have thoughts on Ann Coulter or Caroline Kennedy’s hair styles? Does the length of their hair detract from their credibility and gravitas? Coulter is in her 40s, but granted, unmarried, and the blonde bimbo image is one she cultivates as she frequently wears ultra short skirts, to capitalize on the fact that she is a tall, thin, sexy blonde who happen to have a brain. Her critics might say that her sex appeal distracts from her lack of talent. Media has referred to Kennedy as a “little girl” and doesn’t take her seriously either.

  • Robert

    Good for you, Evergreen! Long hair usually hides at least five years on women over 30, more on those over 40 or 50. Keep it long, Women.

  • evergreen

    I’m 51 years old and I have long dark hair past my waist with very little gray. I don’t dye or perm my hair. My hair is so shiny and healthy. My hair is also very fine but it looks great long. I literally have to refuse dates all the time because Im told Im beautiful, wear nice dresses, pantyhose.I dress like a lady and act like one. People don’t believe me when I tell them how old I am. I see the surprise in their face. I run almost every day and I think that’s what keeps me young. I am really into taking care of myself by not smoking, drinking, etc. Long hair is my preference. I am told by women and men both that I have beautiful hair and certainly don’t look my age. I get asked at all the time, but my heart is with someone who has short curly hair and several tattoos. opposites attract.

  • It is not actually necessary to cut your hair short for a profession like swimming. There are swimcaps designed for long hair, and they are very popular, according to Amazon.com. I have seen advertisements for haircare products for long hair. Long hair is also good for sports, not short hair. Pony tail hairdos are used in sports. Short hair requires constant cutting, trimming, blow drying. Long hair does not require that maintenance. There are lot of positive spiritual characteristics associated with long hair, as I have seen in the Long Hair Community Forum (a forum I have never posted in). Many women who have cut their hair short cut it for fashion rather than for a profession.

  • Sami

    i think it definitely has something to do with the shape of your face. i’ve had my hair short for two years now, and everyone i know has said they like it better short than long. (my hair was also really wild, thick, and wavy when it was long, so i always ended up putting it up. once it reached my elbows, i cut it all off.) it’s a lot healthier now . . . but it grows like crazy.

    i’ve done a lot of crazy things with my hair, it’s been bright red, black, blue streaked, blond streaked, spiked, and i’m getting it cut again today. super-short (in a not-so-severe-mohawk-ish style)

    personally, short hair = good for sports!

  • Judi

    You know I have never been more tired of DUMB BLONDE!!!! Jokes. I am a natural Blonde and so is my whole family ( seven brothers, and two sisters) out of this family we have produced twenty-four children, ALL BLONDE most Collage Grads. we have had a few close calls because of the color of our hair, One that comes to mind is the fact that my older sister who has a beautiful 5’8” 120lb daughter with blonde hair very long, that has to be moved to sit down all curls. This child at age fourteen had to be move to a private school to keep her head from being shaved by the other students. This is Due to jealous brunettes, and African Americans and being stereo typed by the whole population of the USA. please STOP! We can not help the color of our hair. ( don’t hate us for being beautiful ). Respond.

  • Rachael

    I don’t understand how having short hair makes a woman butch. Really. Think of Keira Knightleys hair in Domino, or Rhianna’s new short do. Sexy as hell, right? You wouldn’t say no.

    I’m personally just waiting to get out of High School to cut my hair into one of the before mentioned styles. My hair is a bit passed my shoulders, and because it’s fine, it can look straggly. I have very big blue eyes and small features, so I can pull short hair off. I guess it all depends on confidence, too.

    It doesn’t really matter, I suppose. I like short and long hair on women, but what’s really attracts me to people is when they don’t care what others think of them or their looks. Do it for you, and then you’ll be confident about it, and that will attract more people than not

  • Zadie

    WOW so many people telling others what they should and shouldnt do. Why is the number one question about what others prefer? What about the individual? I have had both long and short, and at the mo have a very short do which i get complimented on but really dont think about too much. So after all the debating…WHO CARES! Women are beautiful for lots of different reasons, and the world generally does not revolve around hair length. Thankyou Tedius Zanarukando for FINALLY letting women know how they are supposed to wear their hair. And to think they were deciding for themselves all this time?

  • Amanda

    LOL! I would pay big money to see a woman try to put waist-length hair in a swimming cap! I did not cut my hair for fashion. I did it for my profession.

  • I know that once a woman goes short for the first time, it is difficult to go back to long hair. I have seen similar opinions to that of Lauren elsewhere on the Internet. That short hair attitude is divisive, and I hope many of you change your mind and return to long hair in the future. Contrary to what I might expect and what many women and the media believe, long hair is actually easier to manage and to show to best advantage than short hair. Long hair does require the frequent cutting, trimming, fussing, or styling that short hair requires. Short hair fans also have history against them. Societies are worse off with that cultural shift to the short hair status quo. Most women who go short do so on frivolous grounds, such as in the name of fashion. Like I said before, long hair is the only way to go for women, regardless of age or bone structure. It is a shame that a short hair trend is in effect and that the media is promoting short hair for women. If you are African-American, you should wear your hair then at least shoulder length. If you are Caucasian or Hispanic, then you should wear your hair at least bra strap length. If you are Asian, then you should wear your hair at least waist length. Women have spent $900M/yr cutting their hair short.

  • Amanda

    By the way, I don’t have any problem with women who choose to wear their hair long. I’d like to be shown the same consideration.

  • Amanda

    I have short hair. I’m a swimmer, and long hair is difficult to keep under a cap. It’s also difficult to keep neat and clean with the exposure to chlorine and multiple wet-dry cycles a day. I am an athlete, with a strong body and a mind of my own. It’s a shame men can’t appreciate that.
    But that doesn’t matter, because I appreciate me. I don’t feel like I have to fit into some “sexy” or “sensual” mold to be valuable.
    I sincerely hope some of you can outgrow this shallow attitude, for your own sake.

  • Fred: wat

    As a guy with long hair, I prefer a short haired girl as a lover simply so our hair doesn’t get tangled. 😀

  • Erin

    I dont know ladies… as a women myself, I dont know if i would be to excited about a man who wouldnt otherwise talk to me if i had short hair… thats kind a of shallow/superfical, and MIGHT even be a sign of what kind of guy he is, or atleast what he is looking for.

    I would rather have a guy who can digg all types of beauty… long or short

    i dont think alot of women understand that being “sexy” is most cases actually gets in the way of a guy seeing you as a person. I mean with all the boobs and long hair, you are getting exactly the effect you want, the guys attention, but maybe not the kind you were meaning to get.

    two women already said that from their experience they attracted a different type of guy when they had short hair… I have also had the same experience.

    but i will also say that nothing trumps comfidence. It wouldnt matter if your bald, if you know how to strut then you will break all the hearts.

  • Lauren

    I am a 19 year old girl and I also shaved my head! It has varied a lot in length over my life. Usually it would be about bra-strap length, as it had to be long enough to tie into a bun for ballet. I was training full time in ballet for my whole life and had to conform to a certain ideal.
    When I quit 2 years ago I cut my hair into a choppy, layered bob, about chin length. The compliments came in like you wouldn’t believe, from men and women. I grew it out again and they mysteriously stopped. Cut the hair again…same thing. I’ve been told that I have great bone structure and I guess that’s why I look better with short hair.
    few months ago I decided to shave my head….went all the way down to a number one 🙂 and i still got compliments.
    I am very pale with blue eyes and very dark hair, and I would describe myself as being petite. Even when I was bald I looked feminine. I think it’s all about how you wear the hairstyle, the clothes you wear and your attitude etc. I like long hair but when my hair is long I look boring and ordinary. It’s now a few inches long, the same length as a very short pixie cut.I don’t have to do anything with it, don’t dye it, etc.
    It’s extremely straight and quite fine and soft which makes it hard to style, but I love having short hair!
    I’m growing it out a bit so I can play with it and have fun…I want it to be a bit longer so i can put product in it and mess it up a bit etc. But I would never go back to long hair!

  • katya

    I really think it is all about whatever makes YOU feel good. If you are worrying about having a short hair cut, because of what the response of men will be then, then I think you need to step back and do some self evaluation.

    There is no doubt that women have been conditioned to believe beauty is defined by certain specific characteristics. We need to break out of this mold.

    Additionally, I understand wanting to feel attractive and all but men are fickle any ways. You get some that love long hair, and some that find short hair really sexy. You are never going to please them all. Be happy with who you are and confident that you made the right “hair choice” and an attractive quality that can’t even be described will shine through, and that is the most sexy and attractive characteristic yet!

  • Robert

    My Dearest has long hair AND a long face, and it looks awesome on her. She isn’t hiding, that’s for sure! I think that sometimes short haircuts are attractive, but usually it’s just sad to see the difference from before.
    Shelley, please do NOT ever cut your hair out of guilt for Locks of Love. They have more hair than they could possibly utilize. Some even gets trashed, but virtually ALL of it gets SOLD.

  • Hannah

    When I cut my hair from shoulder length to a pixie cut all my friends and other women loved it. The guys on the other hand stopped sort of liking me. Well i stopped getting asked out. At first it started to bother me, then i got over it. I like my hair and thats all that matters. Why should i have my hair long for some guy. I look nasty with short hair. My hair is really thin. Looks way better with short. There are plenty of women out there with short hair who look pretty damn good. I know I do. Women….if you want short hair go for it. It makes you seem confiendt in yourself and outgoing. You arent hiding behind your long hair. You are out there for the whole world to see. What is wrong with a girl who has short hair? Do you no what i say…nothing!

  • Dolly

    Let someone who has had both very long (down my back) hair and a shaved head weigh in on this.

    For many, many years, I had extremely long curly hair. I recently shaved my head, and I can say with confidence that I get as much, or more, attention from men.

    In fact, I walked out my apartment earlier, and a guy I passed smiled and said “Hey beautiful! How are you doing?”

    Then five seconds later my boyfriend came out and pointedly turned to the guy and said, in his most menacing voice, “Hey man, how’s it going?”

    The other guy said “I’m sorry man, I didn’t mean to cut in!” and retreated down the stairs.

    And this isn’t the first time this kind of thing has happened since the head-shaving. At first, when it was still just stubble, I think men were intimidated and thought I might be an angry feminist. Which was cool with me, as I stopped getting the catcalls every time I walked past a group of three or more guys.

    But now that it’s grown out a bit(two weeks later) to about a fourth of an inch, just enough to cover the scalp, I walk past and can head guys saying appreciatively “Damn, look at that girl! I’d like to (get with) her, etc, etc” to their friends. This isn’t conjecture, I’ve actually overheard this.

    Granted, I am fairly young, 19, and I have a very decent face and body (I’ve done some modeling work and some acting here and there), so that may play into it, but I sincerely adore my shaved head, and so do many boys.

    Also I am half african, so I think people may cut me more slack because of that? It’s not so unusual to see a bald black woman.

    So, because I personally have had a very different experience, I don’t believe it when people make a blanket generalization like “Long hair looks best on women.” I’ve gotten loads of compliments about my new hair (or lack thereof) from both men and women, and ZERO negative remarks. I do get some stares from time to time, but it’s usually along the line of “Hm, how unusual? I wonder why..?” or a wistful “I wish I could pull that off!” look from women.

    May I say, you guys have done a really excellent job with not feeding the trolls on this thread.

    I was pretty enough with long hair, but, because it was thick and very curly, it took a very long time to wash, detangle, style, and dry it into something acceptable to society – at least 45 minutes of my day, every day. Sure, if your hair is long and straight it should be easy enough, but if it’s curly, it’s a SERIOUS investment of your time, energy, and money.

  • I’m almost completely bald. I keep it cut as low as possible with clippers, and I was natural for 9 months before that.

    I have been bald for almost 17 months.

    I never get hit on, but I get looked at all the time. People tell me “Oh you’ve got such a pretty head!” and “Everybody can’t wear that!”

    I knew when I did this that it was for me. If I never got a man and my hair was the only reason, then I must be meant to be single. I’d neeeever sacrifice my hair’s health and my happiness for someone’s opinion of me.

    When it was natural, people missed my relaxed hair. But I knew why I stopped relaxing it and that was enough for me. My hair felt better and looked better and I was happier with it and myself for being strong enough to do it.

    Hair is something you have to own, and I know that other people like it better when it’s not as healthy just because it’s long, but what’s really best for you? What makes YOU happiest? If people pass you or write you off over hair, then let them walk on because your paths were just not meant to intersect.

  • duane

    I have one word for you:

    Monica Bellucci

  • I find shorter hair on a woman much more attractive than long hair. Not only does it show more of a woman’s face, it also shows that they have the confidence to actually have a hair style, as opposed to just, well, letting it grow. How boring that is!

  • Kami

    If you have a naturally long face, then long hair can make it look even longer, which is why I, personally, shy away from long hair. I have a long oval face that long hair pulls even longer, which is not all that flattering, but with shorter hair and some bangs to round out my face, I do quite well for myself. I had waist-long hair at one point, cut it to about chin-length, and ever since then, I keep it at least that short.

    Then again, I also experiment with a variety of colors and styles most people wouldn’t. One thing I like about short hair is something many people here observed — your average guy wouldn’t pay me any attention. For a while, it bothered me, until I started paying attention to the quality of the men hitting on my co-workers rather than me, and I instantly felt better. Why would I ever want to waste my time shifting through the men who only see long blonde hair and tan skin and think gorgeous just because of that? Your average guy isn’t very well suited to me, and so I stopped getting my feelings hurt when ‘your average guy’ stopped hitting on me. I may get hit on less, but at least all the guys who hit on me tend to know my eye color, my name, and can actually list something intellectual when I ask them why they pay me so much darn attention. ^_^

    Another note — many women feel insecure the first few days in a short hairstyle and this shows through. With short hair, your facial expressions are easier than ever to read, and if you do not have that inner confidence where ‘looking sexy’ stems from, then you are going to have trouble achieving it. I think that is something else that helps girls who are slim, tall, blonde, and tan — they automatically make the assumption the whole world will find them irresistible, immediately gain that confidence, and the confidence builds their image.

    Just a thought.

  • Linn

    The person who posted that stupid “Natural blond Swedish” whatever thing, have just written a bullshit story which is completely made up, besides all the reasons Anna gave, the language is so fake, like a grade one story, gosh.

  • Mike Hunt

    That post by Naturally floor length blonde Swedish girl or whatever her stupid name is is the most ridiculous load of bullshit I have ever seen.

  • K-Dawg

    I have hair too!

  • Anna

    I don’t believe that the “Swedish girl” is Swedish. Maybe an American of Swedish descent but certainly not Swedish born or raised. A few reasons for this statement, first off an actual Swedish person would not give measurements in feet, instead choosing centimeters. Secondly, a Swedish person would never be married at 18 years of age, period! Considering that the average marriage age here is 31 for women (US is 25) I find this really hard to believe. I have NEVER met anyone here in Sweden that married as a teenager unless they were from an immigrant group in which case, are they really “Swedish”? Thirdly, Swedish people don’t boast and brag about themselves, it goes against what we stand for. This person however repeatedly does so in an attempt to detail how attractive they are. Again, this person might have Swedish heritage, after all many Americans (and Canadians) do, but this person is not Swedish in the classic sense despite stating that they have blonde hair…

  • Robert

    DK,to some extent, yes it can define beauty. Some women can look great even with horridly short hair. But, many very average women become exquisite and stunning with bounteous tresses. I’ve seen this so many times.

  • Barb

    Short hair can be kinda cute or butch or matronly (think of the Queen) but having very little hair on the head for a woman will never be as exquisitely beautiful as long wavy locks blowing in the breeze. Leave the poodle and cropped cuts for grandma.

  • dk

    What I wonder tho is if long hair is what defines a pretty woman for those who like long hair. I.e. would you prefer a woman with long hair over one with short hair even if the first has a less feminine figure and a less pretty face?

  • leva

    I think there really exists a preference of long hair on women in our culture. It is a preference, so it is not case of ALL the men of course. The point, which has been mentioned several times, is that when you look healthy, you look sexy. But sort hair can look healthy too.
    I think there is a large number of cultural influences messed up. For me, long hair has always been a symbol of feminity, since the princess in any fairy-tale has long hair, which is often mentioned and said to suit her a lot.
    This picture of long-haired feminity is probably a deep archetype.
    Then there is another thing – women of certain age often cut their hair short, because they thing it’s easier to look after. There’s a lot of them, and so it becomes a kind of sign. Girls, who want to be treated older, cut their hair, to join the group of mature women.
    Some men are more influenced with the pincess-model, some with the other one. Therefore the different opinions on mature women’s look.
    For some men short or no hair can be exciting for the contrast with the usual long-hair model. It is something exotic, extraordinary and a little bit forbidden and surprising.
    Surely there are other mechanisms that I haven’t noticed.
    And of course, hair is not the only thing that makes you sexy, but we are talking about hair now, and very generally.

  • TJ

    I cannot believe the appalling ignorance of some of these comments. I guess there’s nothing to do but laugh when someone says “long hair is always better for women — it makes a distinction between the sexes — which is very appealing to men —” Way to pile on the general statements. Narrow gender stereotyping and generalizations like this frustrate me beyond belief. Some girls look good with long hair, some look good with short, and “good” is only a matter of personal opinion anyway. Healthy hair is attractive – long or short.

  • fred

    long hair is always better for women — it makes a distinction between the sexes — which is very appealing to men — we hate short hair — you look like boy —— put your hair up during the day if it’s easier to deal with, but let it down at night!

  • Catey

    How long is long how short is short…hmmm.

    I have had hair down my back most of my life while getting it cut to my shoulders randomly without there being much noticeable difference.

    The better point here is no matter what your hair length, it needs to be kept clean and (dare I use the word) nappy free.I know my hair can look nappy if I just let it grow and grow and let whatever happens happen.

    Eww, not nice.

    Besides, if long hair is the deciding factor in sexability, why aren’t more just growing their hair long or investing in extensions, instead of thousands in plastic surgery?

    It’s because hair length is just a small part of the overall.

    Or maybe men just pick up on subtle cues from us about how we are feeling about ourselves.

  • Robert

    Almost ALL gals look awesome with LONG hair! Short hair can be interesting on some women when it’s well-cut, but treeses are white hot. The longer, the sexier. Women do seem more approachable to shy guys when they wear cropped haircuts, but ultimately, there is no difference between cads and gentlemen when it comes to hair preference on women. For most guys, long rules! And a good 25% of men are crazy about it.

  • Katherine

    Why are you people actually fighting about this? It’s completely about personal preference and whether the hair style flatters the person its on. Also that Rapunzel story was probably the funniest thing I’ve ever read, good job.

  • Junie

    When I had super short hair, my husband said that he liked it but when I decided to grow it out, he was thrilled. He LOVES my long hair. I wish I had known how he felt earlier. It’s easy to grow hair, just don’t cut it off (and be nice to it so it looks healthy). Seriously, long hair has made all my social interactions more positive. People are much nicer to me the longer my hair is. Go figure.

  • Shelly

    I’ve had long hair for most of my life. I cut up to my ears six or seven years ago and it looked awful. I definitely didn’t feel as feminine and beautiful with it so short, even when it grew out a little bit. But, after it got down to my shoulders, I started getting compliments and since, the only trips to the salon for me have been to get it trimmed so it stays looking well-kept and neat. It’s down past my elbows now if I straighten it (it’s slightly curly) and I’m thinking about donating it to Locks of Love or some other charity someday, just because it’d be for a good cause and I’d love to help someone like that… but I know that if I do get it cut it will be so hard for me because I’ve grown so used to the feeling of it on my back and arms. I don’t even know if a charity would be able to use it, though, because even though my hair is really healthy, it’s super fine, so a ponytail is… basically nothing compared to the ponytails of all those beauties with thick, long hair.

    But, for now, all I can say is that I like standing out amongst all the girls whose hair is shoulder length or shorter. Because, nowadays, I really see a lot more girls with shorter hair than long. And a guy’s preference just depends on the guy, I s’pose. I know I’ve gotten a lot of compliments from guys, but I’m sure there are others who don’t find my long hair as attractive.

    AND, I’d like to say that my hair takes all of three of four minutes to do on a regular day, and even less if I don’t straighten my bangs! It’s just a little bit of curling mousse and a clip sometimes. boo yah.

  • ctam

    I cut my hair short 2 years ago. The drastic change has gotten people to really notice me and although I’m not on a desperate search for attention, the compliments I got definitely gave me some confidence. I’m very different person from who I was a few years ago, and I do believe that cutting my hair short helped me on my way. As for management, I spend a lot less time on my hair now. Coming out of the shower, I blow dry it for literally a minute, I get some product and I pretty much just throw my hands around my head and I’m all good to go!

    Short hair does not fit everyone. I think the personality that short hair works best with is the artistic type. That’s vague, and I mean for it to be. And I know that since I’ve had my hair short, girls who also have short hair almost always get an automatic + in my book for daring to do something that sidesteps the norm amongst teenage girls and young women.

  • Michele

    Are you people insane? When I see girls or women with REALLY NATTY STRINGY long hair I think one thing-TRAILER TRASH! Hair is a statement, and when a women has short hair, she has STYLE. You people need to get with it!

  • Michelle

    I have had my hair short, long, medium, dyed crazy colors, natural…and I have no trouble meeting men who are nuts for me.

    I think it has a lot less to do with outward appearance, and much more to do with self-confidence.

    Having interests and pursuits of your own is far more attractive to others, in my experience, than any particular hairstyle.

  • It seems like most of the older female stars/celebs who look much younger than their age have long hair, and I do tend to think that enhances the effect. I’ve seen many women with very unflattering short ‘dos…at least in my opinion.

    The other side of the coin is male baldness. It used to be a disaster, but nowadays many men just shave all or most of it off, and don’t seem to have much trouble attracting women. Some young guys with a full head of hair do this deliberately. What looks awful are the guys who try to hold onto the little hair they have left in the back of their head. Ugh!

  • c

    Over the years (many by now) I’ve worn both very long and very short hair – For me it has depended on where i lived and what else was going on in my life. When I have lived in hot humid climates – short hair was a better choice. Also, when my children were babies – short hair was easier – it took less time, and babies tend to grab your hair and pull on it. (ouch!) When I was in grad school and very busy, short hair was easier, too.

    I am 45 years old, and here and there men still hit on me (not awful old geezers, attractive men – since I’m married, this doesn’t matter – but it’s still fun to get this affirmation.) Different times in a woman’s life, she concentrates on different things – I think that if a woman stays in shape and in style, has a good attitude about life, carries herself properly and has WAY MORE on her mind than attracting men, she will always attract men! Women who worry too much about attracting men are pathetic. Be cool, laid back and stop fretting about your hair, and the men will appear!

  • Katrin

    to cyntsk

    I totally agree with you. I have always had long hair, but about half a year ago I cut it short without really thinking about it first. So I worried that I have lost my femininity. Before I was always told I was pretty when I walked into a bar or a party. I still am told that, even with short hair (well I actually have a bob so not ulta-short) only the compliments come from different people, more interesting people, people I actually want to talk to. Before it was just annoying guys and cheesy pick-up lines. I am more confident about my appearence now than ever. Long hair are for girls trying to look pretty! I am pretty even without the hair.

    Before I was told a lot that I look like Liv Tyler or Sandra Bullock….now I mostly get Mia from Pulp Fiction.

    Sorry, if there were any mistakes…I’m not from english-speaking country.

  • A woman who wears her hair for herself alone

    For Anne Greogory

    Never shall a young man,
    Thrown into despair
    By those great honey-coloured
    Ramparts at your ear,
    Love you for yourself alone
    And not your yellow hair.

    But I can get a hair-dye
    And set such colour there,
    Brown, or black, or carrot,
    That young men in despair
    May love me for myself alone
    And not my yellow hair.

    ‘I heard an old religious man
    But yesternight declare
    That he had found a text to prove
    That only God, my dear,
    Could love you for yourself alone
    And not your yellow hair.

    – Yeats

  • Tina

    I think it’s sad that the people who love short hair are not confident enough to simply enjoy the style without insulting women with flowing locks.

    The “long hair ages” fallacy is simply something women say when they’ve cut their hair and feel they need to make excuses for it.

    If you like short hair, great. If you like long hair, great.

  • cyntsk

    I had long hair for decades and was always worried when I cut, colored or changed it. I was very concerned about protecting my attractiveness and femininity. I’ve had short hair for about a year now and it is a reflection of very positive and gradual change and growth. I could care less if some guy on the street finds me attractive. I KNOW I’m attractive. I’m no longer concerned with impressing those who don’t like me for me, which frees me up to pursue things I’m truly interested in and to become the person I want to be. I feel sorry for women who never get out of long hair stage…or at least try something new once, whatever men may think of it. I wish this personal liberation for all women.

  • cyntsk

    If compliments and attention are really what you’re looking for, you should definitely stick to the long hair. If you like to experiment, and have the confidence and style to pull it off – short hair works for me!

  • Anon.

    This might not be a continuation of the discussion but what if women cut their long hair in order to donate it? Isn’t that saying something? Can’t a person be attracted to the reason behind the cut instead of the cut itself?

  • sr

    My former wife left this world many years ago. My current wife has long red hair and if it were not for women products Im sure her hair would be all gray. Beauty does not fade with age. I love her more then the day we married. She’s given me two wonderful kids and I truly dont know what I would do if I should ever loose her. Show her the door. I think not. If anything she should show me the door putting up with all my crap for over 26 years. Sorry I misunderstood you concerning demure. Yes I love to look at beautiful women. Just remember SteveS that Im an asshole.

  • sr, you misunderstand. Nothing is wrong with a woman being demure if it is natural to her. Just as nothing is wrong with long hair if she wants it.

    they have the power to drag us men anywhere. To me thats heaven

    A relationship shouldn’t be about one having power over another, but if that is your heaven, I hope you find it.

    I’m glad you love beautiful women. When they age and the beauty fades, do you show them the door?

  • sr

    SteveS. Liked your comment and I agree. Live and let live, however your mistaken about the demure part. Whats wrong with a women being demure. Modestry, reserved and shy makes a women mysterious, sensual and sexual. Add the long hair and they have the power to drag us men anywhere. To me thats heaven. Lord I love beautiful women.

  • My stepmother has short hair, for convenience, and it doesn’t stop her from anything, at all. Of course, she already has a husband, my father. She builds industrial parks in her spare time. Think Martha Stewart (fairly short hair) of construction.

    I haven’t asked, but she probably gets no comments on her hair. It doesn’t bother her, because that isn’t what she is looking for, she might actually be irritated at it.

    If you read the comments from the men here who want long hair, it’s to be visually pleasing to them. Maybe if you are single, that is important. We were raised to believe though, that if you have to do something against your nature/will/preference in order to please others, then they aren’t people you really want to please to begin with.

    To each his own, live and let live and wear your hair the way YOU want.

    I bet the men who want you to have long hair, want you to be demure too.

  • sr

    Tedius, Your correct. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Give me long hair or give me death. Great comment. Thanks and enjoy your weekend.

  • Again, short hair is not the way to go for females. Long hair is the only way to go for females, despite what many people say about short hair. Crewcut and pixie cut hairstyles are not sexy; they are called butch hairstyles. Short hair can be sexy, but it is still not the way to go for females. Short hair is also an age stereotype.

    Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. That means that different people have different ideas on what is beautiful. Some believe that women look better with short hair, but others believe otherwise. What women Joseph thinks look better with short hair, I think they look better with long hair.

    It is a myth that short hair is easier to maintain of than long hair. Short hair requires more maintenance than long hair, though a myth exists that it is otherwise. With short hair, you will have to look in the mirror to get the hair to look right. With long hair, you will not have to do that.

    I have a thread about long hair vs. short hair at my message board.

  • sr

    Ladies and gentlemen. What shall it be. Long hair or short hair on our females?

  • sr

    Cant believe I would comment on this however what got my attention under fresh comments is the short/long hair thing. Cerulean for me it’s long hair. Remember the movie Love Story with Ryan O” Neal and Ali MacGraw. My former wife looked just like Ali MacGraw. So many years ago. She had this dark brown long beautiful hair and was the most gorgeous, sensual and sexey women any man could lay their eyes upon. I lost her almost in the same way as the movie went down. I stayed single for many years after. Now I have been married to this beautiful long haired redhead for 26 years. I miss my former wife however my little redhead makes up for it. When she tell’s me she is going to get her hair cut I always say not short sweetheart. Im to old for sex but I sure can remember. Thanks Cerulean.

  • Enlightened One

    For you ladies who felt unattractive with short hair who insist on wearing it long perhaps it was the style that was wrong, not the length.

    not all short hairstyles are the same. seek out a good hairstylist that knows what they’re doing before you get it cut.

    it is also advisable to use software that permits you to upload your photo and try out different styles to see what you would look like with the hairstyle.

  • Enlightened One

    Long Hair is boring ladies. too many of you have had long hair for too long.
    As a Man I would like to see more ladies go short.

    Also, as far as unfeminine would you consider Alyssa Milano unfeminine because she has short hair?

    here is an example of a very sexy feminine short hair style for women

  • Joseph

    most women look much better with short hair.

  • Monique

    I’ve been wearing long hair for the past two years. Recently I had it cut short. (In a Halle Berry short pixie cut.) It fits my face shape and everything. When I had it long, men would approach me all of the time. Even though I was getting attention from many men, I soon realize that it wasn’t “the right” attention. I’ve even had a few tell me, “Boy, I would love to walk down the street with you on my arm so that I can show you off.” That let me know right then and there that my having long hair was all about how I “looked” to these men. It had nothing to do with them wanting to look past the hair and getting to know my personality. Men equate long hair with being “sexy” and “feminine”. However, when it comes to short hair, you have some men who equate it with being “confident” and “smart”. Do you see the difference? I feel more sexy and confident with it short. And, I get plenty more compliments now than I ever did when I had it long. I notice also unlike when I had the long hair, with the short hair I get taken more seriously as well.

  • Cosmo Student

    First issue with comments and story:
    The amount of time required for haircare depends COMPLETELY on the type of hair. I have fine hair but lots of it. Long hair on me means no volume unless I put tons of time into it. Whereas short hair means instant volume in a fraction of the time. I have a friend with naturally very curly long hair and it takes her the same amount of time to do her long hair as my short but we have very different looks that work for each of us.

    Second issues: Men liking long hair. I guess no one has seen the movie “Addams Family” because I have never heard a guy say a nice thing about Cousin Its long hair. To me long hair equals less time to be active with fewer options for activity because you’ll always be hindered by your long hair getting in the way. It also makes you a vulnerable target for sexual assault because men can control you by your hair. Plus, long hair is lovely but not if it’s tangled and dull and lifeless. *Long hair on a beautiful woman doesn’t mean she’ll get more guys. At the bars, the woman the guys pick is not the scantily clad beautiful one with long hair… it’s the fun, easy-going woman who isn’t sitting on a pedestal.

    Third issue: Can the Swedish girl type without making a point or what? I have yet to see such a response that repeats the exact same thing over and over again. Have a point please… other than the fact that you have gorgeous hair that is super long. By the way, good luck when you have to run away from an assailant. You might want to keep your husband around so that he can protect you and your hair.

  • Dimsie

    I’ve never laughed so much as I did reading the Rapunzel story above – congrats to the author! The thought of this gorgeous vision of perfection dragging her silvery blond locks behind her like a train, especially on a wet day, is hilarious. Though of course with a perfect face, figure, high IQ, etc. she wouldn’t have much to worry about even if the said locks got caught in the wheels of a carriage (well, yes, we’re definitely in the past here) – and yanked out by the roots.

    Now, away from fantasy, back to reality. Hair of any length can look great but it must suit the face of the wearer. Also, it must be squeaky clean. If you have a lovely face then short hair will usually enhance it. I once read a tip in a magazine: pull all your hair back from your face so you see ONLY your face when you look in the mirror. How do you look? Be ruthlessly honest – are you pretty, do you have good features, lovely eyes, nice bone structure? Now let your hair fall forward again and look in the mirror? How do you look now? Does your hair add to your attractiveness? Do your best features still stand out? Or is your hair itself your best feature? I think doing this tells us a lot about ourselves and in many cases shows people that they are more attractive than they might think. For example, I think my eyes and mouth are my best features, even though I have thick shiny hair. I have jaw-length hair but growing it long wouldn’t enhance my best features. If I’m honest I would admit I actually look better with a pixie cut (my husband’s favourite) but I like the versatility of having it just a little longer.

    And please, everyone, don’t let’s get so set in our ways that we think there should only be one hair length for everyone, be it man or woman. It’s the individuality of human beings that makes them interesting, not the length of their hair or its colour. While I love the look of long shining hair I also love the look that Audrey Hepburn sported, or Halle Berry in her short hair days. They both had/have beautiful faces and their short hair really enhanced that. Would that I were so beautiful! But maybe Rapunzel (above) is – lol.

  • STM

    Haven’t I read this before? Yes, I’m blond too, and my hair’s long for a bloke. I’m also an airhead and a surfer so there has to be a correlation between all these things.

    Blond/blonde is good, but hair down to the floor is a worry, especially during a big night at the pub.

    However, it could come in very handy if lived in a tower and needed a handsome young prince to climb up and rescue you.

    Which counts me out. I ain’t young.

  • Naturally very blonde floor length haired Swedish girl

    I’m an 18 year old girl with very blonde hair(yes it’s my natural hair color) that’s so long it’s about a foot to a foot and a half longer than I am tall. I have kept my hair floor length since I was really young, and never plan to cut it short. When my hair gets to be about 2 feet or so longer than I am tall I cut it back to being just as long as I am tall but NEVER EVER would cut it shorter though.

    The only reason I even do that is because I always wear my beautiful hair down and enjoy all
    the compliments, lustful stares from men, and women commenting how they wish they had hair as long, blonde, and beautiful as mine. Therefore I’m afraid if I was to grow my hair too much longer than I am tall I wouldn’t be able to wear it down all the time. And what would the sense in having extremely long hair be if you couldn’t wear it down. Otherwise I would definitely grow my hair as long as it possibly would.

    As a young female with hair so long I get many lustful stares and showered with loads of compliments from the guys on how beautiful and lovely they find my extraordinarily long hair to be. Also, my hair being so blonde too(we all know how guys love blondes) I get lots of compliments on the color fo my hair as well as the length. I hear many women commenting on how they wish they had hair as long, blonde, and beautiful as mine. Most people can tell I’m a natural blonde too as I also have very fair skin, very light blue eyes, and eyebrows and eyelashes as light of blonde as my hair, and absolutely no dark roots in my hair at all.
    My husband(who I married a couple months ago) absolutely loves my floorlength ultrablonde hair. He loves to videotape my long hair as it dances and sways around when I walk, run, bend over or the wind blows. when we go grocery shopping he always brings the video camera, as he absolutely loves how much my hair dances around when I’m putting the groceries on the register. He also loves videotaping me when I’m sitting down, and I’m moving my hair to sit down.

    My husband isn’t the only one who loves to videotape my hair though. When we go out I almost always notice guys taking pictures and/or videotaping me and my hair dancing around. Of course this type of stuff had made some of my previous boyfriends jealous. My husband however can deal with all the attention I get as he knows I wouldn’t cheat on him. Which is one reason I love him so much.

    Speaking of jealousy, while my hair gets me very friednly reaction from the guys it’s not always that way with the girls. As some girls often tend to be jealous of really beautiful women with really beautiful long hair. Also the fact that I’m very blonde makes a lot of grils even more jealous of me.

    Floor length hair is very rare. Additionally women with naturally very blonde hair are also very rare, and I happen to have both. And both happen to make guys go crazy. So I have been the victim of sever jealousy from other women. I have had women be so jealous of my floor length blonde hair that some threatened to chop it off and even went as far as threatening to set it on fire. Fortunately they never did, though, a few did unsuccessfully try to.

    My hair isn’t the only thing that guys love about me though. I also get lots of compliments about how beautiful my very bright flashing blue eyes are, compliments on my very fair rosy delicate complexion, my beautiful face, my beautiful white smile etc. I also have a very fit slim body, and huge boobs that guys find to be sexy. Guys seem to find everything about me to be beautiful. Not to mention they also love my Swedish accent and find it to be very soft and sexy sounding.

    So I’m not some unnatractive girl trying to hide behind a curtian of hair as someone in this thread tryed to say about girls with really long hair. Guys do notice my other beautiful features as well.

    In addition to my good looks I am also very intelligent. I graduated high school with straight A’s in my junior and snior years, and almost staright A’s in my freshman and sophomore years. I am currently taking classes at a university. So I’m not just all eyecandy and no brains. A lot of peopel seem to think that all girls who are beautiful(especially blondes) are complete airheads with no intelligence. So good to prove those people wrong as it makes them look like the dumb ones.

    Finally as some people in this thread have mentioned I too have noticed that a lot of older women with really long hair(especially blondes) do seem to look a lot younger tahn their age. I’ve known many women in their 40’s with really long hair that look only in their 20’s. Whereas
    many women with shorter hair of the same age usually either look their age or older.

    Though I love my superblonde floor length hair,all the compliments I get on it,and would never ever cut it, I will say that I do not like guys with really long hair. Most other women I know feel the same way. I think most will agree long hair represents femininity while short hair represents masculinity. Most guys like their women to be very feminine and most women like their guys to be very masculine. which is why most men prefer long hair on women and most women prefer short hair on men.

  • Dandi

    It’s definitely the whole personality and face shape thing that many people already mentioned. I chopped my hair off when the ends were getting in the way of my ass. It’s now extremely short and has been for almost two years – immediately I got a positive response. “spunky” was the most widely used term for me because that’s my personality and my hair showed it off.

    You can always have a good hair cut, but it’s nothing if it doesn’t fit you. Like buying designer shoes because they look fabulous, but when you wear them they’re a size too small and make you walk with a limp. It may be attractive, but not necessarily with you.

    I researched hair styles for two months before I bid farewell to my long locks. And yeah I miss them from time to time… but only when the wind blows. So do your homework and if you’re not getting the response you want try something else – the magic thing about hair is that it grows back while you’re still young 🙂

  • RS

    Michelle, where are these “hetero” guys who think you should cut your hair? Hard to believe! Locks of Love is a scam, BTW. Just TRY to find out where the hair goes, and you’ll see what I mean. My DW was going cut hers for “the children”, but I had learned the truth and saved her hair in time. (Hundreds of thousands of donations per year and only a couple hundred wigs made. Most hair is SOLD!)
    And Dancer, well-maintained long hair DOES have “intrinsic power”! Just watch some time when a woman reaches back and loosens her tresses. Every male eye will be riveted to the sight. Short haircuts may be attractive on some ladies, but long hair is awesome and even magical. We guys may not understand “mystique”, but we know it when we see it. Rob

  • No thanks. I do not trust MollyCoddler that all men do not like women with long hair. I prefer than women have long hair, but I do not believe in romantic relationship. Contrary to what many believe, women look embarrassingly unattractive with very short hair. I detest female fashion that is contrary to male wishes. Women with short hair or in trousers are contrary to male wishes, and it is hostile behavior.

    People make the assumption that mothers, women over 30, and professional women should have short hair, but that is a common myth. The fact is that age is irrelevant for long hair. Professional women can succeed with long hair. Mothers should pin up their hair when being around young children.

    Short hair is hostile behavior for women and gets women nowhere. It is common sense that long hair is the only way to go for women, regardless of opinion.

  • MollyCoddler

    The first opinion that started this blog was very silly in my opinion. Cerulean specifically classified her hair-do as being “probably resembled a color and cut that some middle aged housewives like”. What the heck do you expect with a cut and colour like that? I had long blonde hair all of my life but when I turned 30, I decided to go all the way and get the funky Sharon Stone cut. Trust me, all men don’t like long hair just as all women don’t like brunette men. I’ve never got more attention with my new “do”. Perhaps, you should reassess your original comments for what was really happening! You have a frumpy haircut and colour and that was the problem…not the length!

  • Sara

    It has been four years since I have had “short” hair, so it is hard for me to remember exactly what it is like, but here is my view. It is the style one wears and the maintenance one decides to do with the hair that makes it time consuming, not the length. I did equal amounts of work to my hair when it was shoulder length when it was mid-thigh (25 minutes to wash and brush, max). It is now waist length and hard to imagine it any shorter. I was less attractive with shorter hair, and I can say that there are few women I know who would look better with chin length hair than at least shoulder length. I receive compliments almost daily on my hair, even from coworkers who I see almost every day. (No, they are not being creepy.) I am an engineer who works in a plant environment. I was hired with my mid thigh length hair. I can assure you I am not a little girl, nor do I wish to be one. I keep my hair clean, well groomed, away from my face, and out of harms way when I am out in the unit. Anyone with poor hygine is unattractive to me, long or short hair. If one neglects to maintain their hair, chances are that person also neglects other parts of their personal hygine. Carelessness is not isolated.

  • Jessica

    I’ve been reading through all of these comments and they’re very interesting, and very different. I’m 19 and have waist length hair. I’ve been growing it out for a few years – it started out around my ears. I think the longer it’s gotten the easier it’s gotten. I get out of the shower, comb it, and then let it go, or put it up in a bun or braid or ponytail. There are a lot of really easy options that take 5 seconds to do, and then 50 million more options that don’t take much longer. I was much less conscious of my short hair, but I never really felt like I had nice hair. It was jut there. The longer it gets, the more I enjoy it.

    On a side note, someone was talking about different preferences regarding body types as an analogy for how people view hair. They used Marilyn Monroe and Audrey Hepburn’s hip/waist ratios as their example – what’s funny is that they’re about the same. Slender Audrey had the same hip/waist ratio as voluptuous Marilyn: about .75.

  • Holland

    who are you all to be making rules for women and what sort of hair they should have? Long or short, the best haircut on a woman is one that looks healthy, flattering, and makes her feel fantastic. There is no one ‘right’ haircut for a woman, long or short. And just a note- if you’re that worried about getting your hair chopped that you have to ask a lot of men their opinions, then you won’t have the confidence to pull it off and you shouldn’t do it.

  • Steve

    Interesting comments folks.

    On women, I generally dislike hair that is more than a bit lower than the top of the shoulders, as I would think it’s almost impossible to keep it nice and shiny looking without the woman being too vain for my tastes, but I don’t like it shaved short either, then it’s too butch looking.

    Although hair is not the be all and end all on a woman, I have to say, I would never want to marry someone whose hair had the texture of a Brillo pad!! (I have met one or two like that…yuck!!).

    But I certainly believe a woman should wear her hair to please herself, after all, the only person she needs to attract is one husband, she doesn’t have to try to be attractive to ‘all the guys’. I find it kinda sad though that so many women seem to put so much effort into their looks (make up etc.) when most of them, most of the time, look fine without that stuff! All that money and time…sigh…

    And all that hair coloring!!! I had trouble remembering what color of hair a relative of mine had when someone asked me about it recently, because she’d had it changed so many times over the years!! I can’t imagine how awful it must be to feel compelled to spend so much time thinking about how you look to other people!!

    I wash my hair 3-4 times a week and brush my hair for a couple of minutes in the morning and don’t generally have to worry about it for the rest of the day unless I have to wear a hood because of inclement weather.

    I guess that must make me a guy huh?? lol.

  • Lis

    I am a woman in her mid-twenties who has had both long and short hair (I currently have it short). I think most women look better with short- to mid- length hair; it shows off a woman’s unique features, even if they’re not classically striking. I find that, when I have long hair, I definitely get more attention from men, but not the “right” kind of attention; I attract a lot of sleazy guys who just see pretty long hair and a nice rack (hah). On the other hand, with short hair, while not as many guys may initially pay attention to me, those who do are more likely to (gasp!) focus on my face and think, “Wow, she’s really pretty!” My boyfriend loves me with short hair. I’m not trying to toot my own horn; just offering my experience 🙂

  • Chando

    Guess im just different,

    always liked short hair on girls, find it kinda funky and different, maybe it tells me shes a bit more driven then others, willing to stick out, rebellious and non-conformist.

    I think at times hair can be used as a medium to express personality. Some short haired girls ive met tend to style their hair in a way that makes it stick out (literally and figuratively) which makes them interesting…or crazy, either way they’re interesting.

    But then again maybe im just full of bull.

  • I have encountered people like that before. I do not like women like that, but I do not believe in romantic love. I not only dislike who woman are or intend to be or stay short-haired or bald, but I also dislike women in trousers.

    Falling in love is not my plan. I am just trying to tell common sense. I would be a more responsible man if I had a wife, and I fear the financial risks of divorce. Romantic love is unattainable and undesirable for me. It is a curse to me rather than a blessing to me. I prefer to live alone than to live with others.

    Unfortunately, women no longer care about pleasing men. This may be a tenet of radical feminist dogma, but that is hostile behavior. Relying on personality alone is not the way to attract or charm men. Women should not make themselves unattractive men, and doing so flies against common sense.

  • lori

    I am in my twenties and have a manicured pixie a-la Charlize Theron several years ago. Men have always loved it– I’ve only ever been told to grow it out by women with terrible fashion sense. It frames my small/heart-shaped face perfectly.

    The homophobia on this thread is annoying. When I brough my gay hairdresser the pic and said cut it off, I thought he would have a heart attack. And it turned out to be just what I’d always wanted– makes me feel pretty every day. I’ll *never* grow a long, dead rat’s nest. 🙂

  • Nancy

    Longer hair can look good on guys, too. After all, consider Fabio. But as in all things, there has to be a sense of proportion & balance. Long hair – actually any hair – which is ragged & untrimmed looks like hell, and far too many women with very long hair do NOT keep it nicely trimmed. It just hangs down in uneven shaggy end-split locks. NOT sexy or attractive, IMO.

  • Short hair gets women nowhere, and long hair is the only way to go for women. It is a myth that mothers, women over 30, and professional women should have short hair. Women can succeed in a profession with long hair. Women over 30 can look great with long hair.

    Long hair has also been a standard much of the east. Unfortunately, many Japanese women cut their beautiful long black hair short and dye it an unpleasant blonde or red color. I am disappointed about that.

    My mother, who is in her sixties, has had long hair just about all of her life.

    I certainly prefer long hair on women, but I do not believe in romantic love.

    Long hair is actually easier to take care of than short hair, thus short hair requires more maintenance.

  • Dancer

    I dont believe that long or short hair has any intrinsic power to make a woman more or less attractive. There are plenty of women who have had dramatically short (as short as a mans hair) cuts who continued to be considered sex symbols. If you dont believe me check out Patricia Franchini in Goddards a bout de’souffle, Audrey Hepburn, Sharon Stone, Kate Moss, Twiggy, Winnona Ryder, Maggie Gyllenhaal (to name a few recent examples). Very short hair on all these lasses, but I dont think many men would turn them down.

    Sure, it tends to look best on the most gorgeous gals, but hey, all long hair does is disguise the less beautiful behind a curtain.

    Also, if you take a look at traiditions in other cultures, particularly in Africa, where long hair is not practical or comfortable, most women have very short or shaved heads. They look feminine, beautiful and in the eyes of their men at least, are totally acceptable and sexually attractive.

    Western mens attraction to long hair comes, I believe from a very long tradition of women wearing their hair long. So ingrained is this in our culture that we are all indoctrinated from a very early age to see a womans attractiveness as heightened by long hair. Consider most of the female archetypes of our culture – they invariably have long hair. I am thinking of the women in Disney films, the ladies of myth and legend (Rapunzel, Sleeping Beauty), the stars of the silver screen (Rita Hayworth, Lauren Bacall)- these kind of women who occupy the position of standard female beauty in the west.

    Now I’m not saying there isnt a good reason for long hair becoming a standard of female beauty. Women’s hair grows longer than mens beause Oestrogen promotes the growth of hair on the head. Thus long hair has become a sign of high Oestrogen levels and therefore increased femininity in a woman. But Oestrogen also promotes the growth of breast tissue and yet as many men find women with small breasts as attractive as those with large, because not all people like things in extremes. Sure Marylin, with her exaggerated hip to waist to bust ratio was a gorgeous woman, and very attractive to some men, but others preferred the sleek grace of Audrey. It all depends on your own personality.

    To sum up, I think that for probably several reasons, long hair has become a standard of female beauty in the west, and therefore women with short hair are likely to get less attention from the avarage male than those with long hair. But I dont believe for one minute that this is because long hair is intrinsically more attractive to men. It is much much more likely that this is because of a strong and powerful set of archetypes and images portrayed in western culture. If our culture promoted short hair as the standard for women (as many African tribes do), I expect men would find their ladies no less attractive than they do now. (-;

  • “I want it long, straight, curly, fuzzy
    Snaggy, shaggy, ratty, matty
    Oily, greasy, fleecy
    Shining, gleaming, streaming
    Flaxen, waxen
    Knotted, polka-dotted
    Twisted, beaded, braided
    Powdered, flowered, and confettied
    Bangled, tangled, spangled, and spaghettied!

    Oh say can you see
    My eyes if you can
    Then my hair’s too short”

    from the broadway play
    and the Cowsills
    Love Jet

  • STM

    Long, short, mid-length, curly, bobbed, straight, wavy, thick, thin, blonde, black, auburn, brown, silver, even, in, out, up, down, ponytails, pigtails, plaits, french rolls, english roses …. it’s ALL good – as long as it ain’t high.

  • jenna

    I have hair that is still down to my waist and am in my late 40s. WOMEN always ask me, “When are you going to cut your hair??” As in, you are too old for that look. Guess what though? Men love it and so do I 🙂

  • Leila

    What about Audrey Hepburn? Lovely woman, adored by so many; yet she kept her hair very short during her 20s.

  • Michelle

    I’ve had long, thick, healthy hair all my life.. and when I say long I mean the TRUE meaning of long. The shortest I’ve ever had it was maybe an inch past my armpit in my late teens. Since then I’ve grown it super long (past my rear). Although I always get compliments on it by people on the street, hair dressers, women, and men I’m also faced with opposition. Some people think it distracts from my “beautiful face”. When it was almost past my rear guys would ask me “what’s with the long hair?”
    Since then I cut off about a foot and donated it to locks of love and it’s now about 3 inches past my elbows. Although I still get compliments on my hair I also still get some guys telling me I should cut it to around my shoulders or atleast mid back.THE IRONY OF THIS IS SOME HETEROSEXUAL MALES HAVE BEEN TELLING ME TO CUT IT WHILE GAY MALES ADORE IT. They stop me on the street and beg me to promise never to cut it. They say it reminds them of some country singer Crystal something or the other.When you think about it most gay men adore femininity..they dress like women..love Ru Paul and Cher. They don’t like butch at all so I do believe that’s a misconception.
    Oddly enough I signed with a modeling agent who also wants me to cut it to shoulder length or atleast mid chest which I’m considering.
    Bottom line is: In my late teens with the shorter hair I got hit on just as much if not more than with the much longer hair. Although a lot of men do prefer long hair it really depends on how it looks on the woman and HOW short or long it is. Extremes of both are going to get criticism. One thing I will say..my lnog hair is the easiest to manage I spend less time on it than my mid length counterparts it’s part of the reason why I kept it this lnog to begin with.
    With this said what do you guys think? Should I take the plunge and cut it? I’m in my early to mid twenties and am worried that it won’t look as impressive or beautiful shorter..I’ll be common.

  • The cultures that insist on women’s hair being “veiled” are Islamic cultures. Those cultures are very repressive. I oppose cultures like that, because they lead to oppression. I certainly hate repression of female beauty. Therefore, if women want social power, they must let their hair grow long and show their long hair.

    As I have said before, age is irrelevant for long hair. With long hair, female beauty is timeless.

    I do not believe romantic relationship. Wives come and go, but motion pictures and electronic games are forever.

  • MK

    Long hair certainly retains, or perhaps reclaims, a particular look of youthfulness and girlhood. All my life I had dark curly brown hair anywhere between shoulder length and halfway down my back. Truly blesses with hair, but so thick I was prone to headaches. Also, extremely bored. Finally in my late twenties I got a fun, fresh, (somewhat) shorter cut that I can style quickly and efficiently.

    I look back at photos with my longer hair and at 25 sometimes I look under 18. And maybe the men who “appreciated” my hair thought so too. In any case, the underage look wasn’t really my thing, so I was glad to be done with it.

    That said, I do think long hair on older women looks nicer than severe cuts. Especially when they don’t damage it with colors and let it flow gray or white. It also looks good in a bun or a braid.

    And traditionally women’s haircuts have been much more diverse than mentioned on this forum. Orthodox Jewish women shave their hair when married and wear a wig. Long hair is for unmarried girls. In ancient egypt women wore their hair in short bobs or clipped close. In rome, women used extensions to have sweeping up-do’s that framed their face. Many cultures insist on women’s hair being “veiled” in public. And even in 19th century photographs, it is rare to find a mature women with long loose hair, it is actually pulled very tightly back (talk about severe!)

    As far as that one homophobic jab at gay hairdressers severing women’s sensuality, I think it’s pretty obvious that throughout history society has kept a watchful eye on women’s hair. Some may blame it on patriarchy, some may blame it on lice, but it definitely existed before the convenient scapegoat of the gay hair stylist!

  • Long hair is the only way to go for women. Short hair gets women nowhere. I have researched on the roots of short hair for women, and the myth that women over 30 should have short hair. Butch hairstyle is absolutely wrong for women. Age is irrelevant for long hair. With long hair, a woman’s beauty is timeless. When it gets down to it, long hair is actually easy to take care of.

    I myself do not believe in romantic relationship.

  • Just me.


  • Shark, Men liking long hair on women doesnt mean your a pedophile. That is rediculous thinking. My wife has long hair, does that make me a pedophile? I dont think so. I would also like to say that my wife has waist lenght hair and can take care of it in less than 20 minutes a day. When her hair was shorter, it also took her less than 20 minutes a day to take care off. All depends on the person I guess.

  • Why do men prefer long hair on women? It simple really. It make’s them look younger. Take a 40 year old woman with short hair (permed, curly or straight) it makes them look old and over the hill. Let the same 40 year old woman grow her hair out long and it take’s 10 or more year’s off their age. Simply answer really.

  • shivani

    Shaving is the most popular hair removal system because it is totally painless. will have to shave every other day to keep your skin smooth.so i m a girl being shave every third day by my boy friend he usually shaves me and my 3 sisters who have excess facial hair,so com forward give men thier chance and liberty.

  • Yeah, o.k, gay hairdressers and designers are trying to get women to cut off their hair and starve themselves and because they CELEBRATE our sensuality, just like you. I feel celebrated when I read about your non prissy, non bimbo girlfriends, free of makeup, long nails, long hair or nail polish out being headstrong and independent but in a clean, unpainted way, not like some strumpet with heightened female characteristics and watch the “anti-gay male” comments cause they bother you.

    I feel pretty. Oh so pretty.

  • “I think maybe gay hairdressers are trying to get women to cut off the symbol of their sensuality.”

    If you’re being serious, this is perhaps the most moronic and vaguely homophobic thing I’ve ever read. If you’re joking, however, then that’s pretty hilarious.

    Personally I prefer short hair on women simply because I don’t like prissy bimbos who spend longer in the bathroom getting ready in the morning than it takes me to change the oil in my car. I don’t find longer hair unattractive, but short hair on a lady is an indication that she has better things to do with her time than spend it fussing with her hair for hours and hours. By the same token, I find really long fingernails and lots of makeup totally unattractive. What can I say, I like headstrong, independant women, and I have yet to meet one who has the time to deal with the amount of time it takes to care for long hair.

    Also, as a side note, all men with pony tails look like idiots. Some men look better with long hair, but as soon as they put it back into a pony tail they look like sleazy morons.

  • I’m not a fan of the Peter Pan look for chicks, either.

    This is complete BS as a genetic/evolutionary explanation, but in the animal world, the length, sheen, and health of an animal’s fur is an important trait determining whether they’ll be able to breed. Men have not always had short hair (until fairly recently, in fact), but for whatever odd social custom has led to women keeping the long hair for thousands of years, good hair is probably a sign of health, vitality, fertility and how fit they are to reproduce and bear lots of children.

    That is all.

  • I’m with you, M. I think maybe gay hairdressers are trying to get women to cut off the symbol of their sensuality. That could also explain why designers want only skinny models on the runway. Short hair is probably good for business too. Although longer hair drags your face down when you are no longer young, the overall effect is usually sexier if you have a flattering hairstyle.

    I think it’s hilarious that I no longer have to comb my hair except once a week. I just wash it and scrunch it so it is curly. It looks like bedhead because it is, but people like it. I haven’t cut my hair in about a year and it’s could be in better condition but since it’s working. . . I wish benign neglect would work this way in every aspect of my life. I’d love that. I wish the world worked that way.

  • M

    I’m always amused when I read comments that long hair on women over 20 or 30 is just a desperation to hold on to youth. Think about the very young — babies and toddlers have (naturally) very short hair! Thus, long hair is for mature women. I’m not putting down short hair at all, but I always wonder about the motives of people who are so vocal against long hair on women. Quite frankly, most women over the age of 30 wear their hair fairly short, so the woman with long hair actually stands out.

    But whatever the length of hair, it really is about the choice of the wearer, and no one should feel pressured to either cut her hair short or grow it long. Ultimately, it’s we who have to look at ourselves in the mirror each morning.

    I’m a woman in my thirties, and I wear hair just below the bra strap in length. Personally, I love it and really don’t care what anyone else thinks! I once cut it short, and I just hated it. It just didn’t feel right, and it was MUCH harder to take care of. Because there isn’t much hair, just a few strands out of place make a huge difference. For me, longer hair is simply the ultimate in sexual and sensual hair. I love to wear it up in a loose style and then let it tumble down around my shoulders. The look and feel simply aren’t physically available with short hair.

  • shannon

    I have had short hair for a long time and have been hit on many of times by all types of men… I think the length you should keep your hair depends on your facial features…

  • -E

    Hmm, it must be where you were, as my short cut wasn’t the spiky platinum thing. Granted there is enough of that in Austin, so perhaps it was the fact that my short hair wasn’t like the other short female haircuts?

    I’m sure you’re striking either way. I say it all matters on what you like best. I got sick of the short hair because I like putting my hair in a ponytail and forgetting about it.

  • A lot of my shorter haircuts looked pretty but that didn’t matter to them. Granted I wasn’t striking. Maybe you have to have huge eyes and a striking face. Then they like that. The only short hair cut they liked was short spiky platinum hair. They liked the blond hair.


    Not all guys know how to maintain long hair, but they need to learn. Just like facial hair, a little care goes a long way.

    Mine is, of course, just about crew cut, but it was past my shoulders the day I enlisted. For longhairs, the barber will cut from back to front, so you get to watch it fall into your lap.

    Do I miss it? As much as any other part of my misspent youth, but my wife likes it better short, and it is a hell of a lot easier to take care of in my line of work. After I retire, I might grow it longer, but I don’t know if I have the patience for that.

    As for women, Sinead was gamin enough to look exotic and attractive bald, but I’ve seen her with hair and she looks better. Persis Khambatta was another women baldly going where no woamn had gone before, and she pulled it off very well.

    Shari Belafonte Harper, gorgeous with short hair, Michelle Ndege’ocello, she can sing and play bass better than a lot of long-haired men or women, she can definitely do bald, as can Skin from Skunk Anansie.

  • -E

    I’ve had really short hair and long hair. When I had short, guys would tell me I actually pulled it off and girls would tell me it made me look mature (I was probably 18 when I had it chopped off).

    I think part of the responses you get depends on if you can pull it off or not (I am sure you could!) but also on where you are.

  • P.S. I also noticed all the men who had a think about Sinead O’Connor when she was bald. They were really into her, all kinds of men including Arsenio Hall. That didn’t seem to go with what else I’ve observed about men but there you have it.

  • Thanks to the vast majority of you for your participation. Nancy, that was very well written. Strange that you didn’t get a reaction from men to your long hair.

    Mat, interesting story. I have always preferred nice long hair on men too (although I don’t end up dating those men for some reason or another). The men that tend to have nice long hair tend to be either a) ladies men or b)rebellious against society to the point that they are very difficult. We haven’t meshed but I do love the way it looks. One of my employees, who was also a art student, had nice longish hair and one day for no reason he cut it off to get a boy next door cut. I hated that and his girlfriend did too. We both said the same thing to him, now you look like the boy next door. We felt like he’d vandalized himself. Ideally I’d like a guy who looks like an artist or a rock star or, well the cover of a romance novel but not quite so cheesy. That’s what I’d like. In real life the guys who look like that have too many choices and have issues but that’s my ideal look.

  • Drug test my ass through my hair? How will my hair tell them whether or not my donkey has been using drugs?

  • Eric Olsen

    good point about hair reflecting health, VP, that is still true: they can drug test your ass through your hair

  • Why would you say that, JR? All different hair types can be good or bad, by which I mean, healthy or unhealthy.

    The definition of “long” hair might be slightly different in some parts of Africa or Australia, but from what I’ve seen, almost all of the people in these regions can choose between styles that are longer or shorter, so the same basic principles I mentioned above would still apply, with only slight modifications.

  • JR

    Obviously some different selection rules applied in Africa and Australia.

  • In today’s prosperous societies, long hair mainly makes us think of how much work it must take every day to care for it. (Those of us who bother to think about it at all, that is, as opposed to those who are blindly led around by their unexamined preferences one way or another.)

    Yet in times past, long hair was an important signal of a person’s history. Prior to civilization, with its medical treatments and its cosmetics, the only way to have hair that was both long and healthy was to enjoy years of basically decent nutrition and freedom from serious disease. A person with good hair, in those days, was more likely to be healthy enough to bear and nurse a child successfully (in the case of a female) or to protect his mate during her most vulnerable phases of pregnancy, childbirth and nursing (in the case of a male).

    Later social training in different cultures has added layers of complexity on top of this underlying fact, of course, but this seems to explain the basic “hard-wired” nature of most men’s, and many women’s, preference for long hair in a prospective partner.

  • We need to have a photograph to compare against – posted perhaps in the “Sexy Bloggers” thread.

  • I have no clear preference in hair, except to say that I prefer to keep mine pretty short. My wife has kept her hair long, even through the yanking phases of our two kids. A lot of moms we know cut their hair short just to keep it from being yanked by little ones [admittedly, a reasonable excuse].

    In the 80’s, women moving into the business world liked trim their hair shorter to make it look “professional.” Fortunately, these days, women wear their hair short or long and all of it is considered professional.

    Except for perhaps a reverse mohawk or something. That style never really scored high on the professionalism scale, unless you were an acid rocker, of course.


  • Eric Olsen

    if we are seriously looking at anthropology, throughout most of human history the older you were, the longer your hair/beard/whatever grew.

  • Shark

    EO: “…short hair is for little girls and long hair is for women, but feel free to continue to share your pathologies…”

    I dunno; Maybe it’s a generational thing?

    And are we talking LONG hair here?

    ‘Cause when I was growing up, young girls had shoulder and waist length hair, and cut it when they ‘grew up’ — and older women with really long hair usually looked not only terrible — but like they were trying too hard to hang onto their youth.

    Maybe the wimmin’ can straighten us out?

    PS: lay off my pathologies.

  • Eric Olsen

    actually, Shark, short hair is for little girls and long hair is for women, but feel free to continue to share your pathologies

  • Shark

    Cerulean, we might be better able to judge if you’d post a nice high-res jpg of yerself.

    Preferably nekkid.

    Thanks in advance,

  • Yeah, I prefer long hair on women. Interesting question… I’ve never really considered why.

    I have a similar hair history to yours, Mat. For a brief, shining spell I had hair down to my shoulders. Joined the rugby team, gave myself a buzz cut for kicks… only to learn that I had devastated (or so I’d like to believe) a bunch of potential lady friends.

    Ah, such is life.

  • Shark

    Cutting hair is about *growing up.

    Eric: “…men are more sexually energized by women with long hair. The question is why?”

    * –’cause long hair is for little girls.

    See also: “pedophile”, “men”


    I think the attraction of long hair starts long before the bedroom.

  • Mat

    Certainly there is more to being attractive than just the length of the hair. What male is gonna complain about the girls hair length when she’s lying next to him naked!?

    It gets me everytime when a woman….um, is sitting on me and lets her hair fall down over my face and body.

    Anyway, it also reminds me of the scene in Shawshank Redemption where they are watching some old Rita Hayworth movie and get all excited when she flips her head up waving her long hair.


    It really has to do with the woman’s facial features, and even more with personality. I have seen some women who cut all their hair off and were still attractive, but some women can’t pull it off due to their facial shape.

    I think that long hair is just another aspect of the sensual and feminine look, generally it adds to the rest of what is attractive about a woman.

    Something that always throws me off is seeing my female colleagues out of uniform, how they get such long hair into such a little ponytail mystifies me.

  • Tristan

    I’m not so sure about that~~~

    Many guys had fantasies about Sinead O’Conner and her bald head….

    And also that Amazon-like black singer-actress with the bald head…..

  • Eric Olsen

    I have heard this so many times that it must be genetic or something: men are more sexually energized by women with long hair. The question is why?

  • Mat

    Back in my younger days, I grew my own hair out to about shoulder length. I had never before (or since, unfortunately) had so many women suitors. I once even had some lovelies honk their horn at me and wave me off the road because of the hair (believe me it wasn’t the car). So, I think the long hair thing works for both sexes.

    And yes, I much prefer my wife’s hair long. Even though she says it looks better, and is easier to manage short. She also uses the excuse that when its long, she just pony tails it, but at a shorter length she must take better care to style. I don’t care, I prefer the long locks. It’s something about the way it moves when its long, I think.

  • Nancy

    This must be some kind of hard-wired response, since my reaction is exactly opposite to Ski’s: I can count on one hand the number of women I think look better with long hair than short. IMO, I see so many women – especially older women – who desperately need their long, dragging (albeit clean) hair severely trimmed and styled, it almost hurts, and I wonder why their own mirrors don’t tell them they need a shorter, neater ‘do’. I can speak w/some authority on long hair, as mine was long enough to sit on until the year after grad school, when I finally got my PhD and then moved to a part of the country where it was hot, humid, and I cut it all off after one short summer there and never grew it back. I kept mine meticulously clean, the ends trimmed and even, and it was thick, silky, and a gorgeous golden-chestnet, but I never got any compliments on it, in fact never got any comments on it at all, from men or women…all the admiring comments came from little girls, who would ‘oooo’ and ‘ahhh’ and wish theirs looked like that. Maybe that should have told me something, LOL. The day I cut it off, almost as short as (the then) Mia Farrow’s, I felt like I was freed. I still have that huge rope of my own hair, made into a switch, but my natural – and unnatural – color has changed so much over the years, it doesn’t match any more. I keep it, as thick as a child’s arm, mainly as a reminder of when I had the energy to maintain it, and the youth to carry it off. I’d look pretty silly with it now.


    I prefer long hair on females, but only if it is kept neat, not stringy or blah. Curly or straight is fine.
    That being said, I know long hair is a pain to maintain.

    I can count on one hand the number of women I think look better with short hair than long.