After more than two years, I’m finally reaching a crisis point with a woman in my husband’s life.
My husband began their relationship in secret, and though it was non-sexual, it did have romantic overtones. It morphed into her representing him as an agent, and because she works obsessively to promote him, he’s finally enjoying success in his field.
I felt betrayed and was shocked that he would bring someone into our lives that was so openly disrespectful to me. He ignored all of my questions, so I broke into his e-mails and voicemails because I didn’t know whether or not he was cheating on me. After a long year of him yelling at me to stay out of his business, we sought counselling. Now we’re closer than ever.
[ADBLOCKHERE]But because she’s the only agent in town, she’s still in the picture. There have been harrassing e-mails, voicemails and public scenes, and she does her best to discredit me and my entire existence to her friends, to my husband, and to my face. It’s no secret to anyone that she’s in love with my husband and wants to be his primary relationship. This means that she will go to any and all lengths to exclude me from his books, public functions, and his career.
There is nothing I would like more in this world than to have a rational conversation with her face to face to address her obsession with me, but that will never happen. I reached out to her a few months back and asked her to help me with a peaceful relationship between she and I, to which she agreed…to my face. Behind my back, she threw tantrums to my husband demanding that I stay out of his business.
I am at my wit’s end for how to continue to deal with such a huge degree of disrespect for my position as his wife. I’ve tried therapy, meditation, medication, yoga, deep breathing, and punching pillows in trying to deal with this.
I am finally reaching out to other sources for advice, as it’s taking too much of my time. Any advice?
Objective advice, I have.
You say that you and your husband are closer than ever, right? That’s good. I think you are completely capable of resolving this and it will be much easier than you think. Quit feeding this and it will die.
Look. She’s a psycho. But so are you, for trying to deal with her. And are you really being honest when you say you want a relationship with her? My ass. You want to throttle her and you know it. With cause!
She is your total rival. You are both in love with your husband and want to be his primary relationship. But can’t you see, you’ve already won? You had the man and you have the man. It’s Game Over, so what the hell are you doing standing on the mound in the rain, still pitching at this thing?
Stop it. She is only occupying your time because you allow it. And is why is that?
Forget about trying to figure out how you’re going to deal with her, and instead ask yourself why you’re dealing with her at all. Because if your husband wanted her, there would be nothing you could do to stop it. But it doesn’t sound like he does. So why do you keep this on the front burner, huh?
Bottom line: with Pluto in the 7th house, you are projecting your power when you are the one who actually has control. Turn off the flame under this and the whole thing will stop boiling. This will free up an enormous amount of energy you can use in a way that is productive and enhances you as a human being.
If your husband loves you like this… believe me he will be head over hills if you opt for sanity… real sanity, not feigned sanity. So do it, and do it now. Good luck.