Today on Blogcritics
Home » Sex After A Hysterectomy

Sex After A Hysterectomy

Please Share...Tweet about this on Twitter0Share on Facebook0Share on Google+0Share on LinkedIn0Pin on Pinterest0Share on TumblrShare on StumbleUpon0Share on Reddit0Email this to someone

The article Total Hysterectomy Can Kill The Joy Of Sex is a bit dry and academic, but it still made for a good read. Apparently, removal of the cervix after a hysterectomy can inhibit the sexual experience for women. Sometimes doctors remove a healthy cervix during hysterectomy in the event that the organ may become cancerous in the future. I don’t agree with surgically removing perfectly healthy organs because they might become cancerous sometime in the future.

I didn’t know that in some hysterectomies, the ones where the cervix is removed, the top of the vagina is rolled down like a toothpaste tube and then sealed. Scar tissue will eventually grow in that area, which keeps it sealed. The problem with this is that some women who have had shortened vaginas spoke about painful intercourse.

There are other very interesting points made in the article. I highly recommend my readers take a look at it.

The article The Effect Of Hysterectomy On Sexual Functioning, which appeared in the Annual Report On Sex Research, described the physiology of orgasm in women:

The uterus and cervix play a role in the physiology of orgasm. Orgasm appears to be a neurological genital reflex. A biphasic motor response results first in contractions of the smooth muscles of the fallopian tubes, uterus, and paraurethral glands of Skene. The second phase consists of contractions of the striated muscles located within the pelvic floor, perineum, and anal sphincter. The sensation of orgasm is probably caused by the sensory stimuli from the contractions of the internal genitalia (i.e., uterus, cervix, vagina) that reach the brain. The conscious recognition of these sensory impulses is believed to be the experience of orgasm (Hasson, 1993; Segraves & Segraves, 1993). As a consequence, it is conceivable that surgical removal of the uterus can affect orgasm.

One possible reason for a woman’s difficulty with sex after hysterectomy could be because of “surgical damage to the pelvic autonomic nerves during total hysterectomy.” This damage “partially disrupts the nerve supply to the blood vessels of the vaginal wall, which is responsible for the neural control of the lubrication response.” Some women have experienced a lack of lubrication after a hysterectomy. Surgical damage to the pelvic autonomic nerves may be the reason for that problem.

In addition, changes in hormone levels may affect a woman’s sex drive. According to The Effect Of Hysterectomy On Sexual Functioning,

“physiological ovarian failure that takes place in postmenopausal women results in marked decreases of estrogen and androgen levels. The physiological decrease in estrogen levels is thought to be the cause of sexual dysfunctions in women, such as reduced vaginal lubrication and dyspareunia [painful intercourse] (McCoy, 1994).”

Opposing views are out there about how hysterectomy affects a woman’s sex drive and sexual experiences. According to Women’s Health,

“many women fear depression or other emotional changes following hysterectomy, but research shows no increase in depression occurs after hysterectomy. Some women are afraid they will lose their desire for sex, this too is untrue and your sex life should remain as pleasurable, if not more pleasurable once you are free of the cause of your hysterectomy.”

Regarding a woman’s loss of sex drive after a hysterectomy,

“data supported by extensive research indicates that neither aging nor hysterectomy affect sexual desire negatively. Despite the physical changes and problems that aging or a hysterectomy may bring about, most studies show that people continue to have satisfying sexual experiences throughout their life. Research results indicate that sexual desire before and after either menopause or hysterectomy is likely to remain unchanged and may even be enhanced.”

Women’s Health also pointed out that “removal of your ovaries may cause a decrease in sexual desire which can improve with the use of estrogen.” Your gynecologist may prescribe an estrogen cream or you may purchase one over the counter if dryness is a problem. Don’t use petroleum jelly. You risk vaginal infection, and petroleum jelly can damage condoms and diaphragms.

The Effect Of Hysterectomy On Sexual Functioning pointed out other factors that may affect a woman’s sex drive and sexual experiences. The article stated

“sexual functioning, or the report of sexual problems, is associated with age, race, mental health problems, relationship problems, and various socioeconomic conditions (Laumann, Paik, & Rosen, 1999). The quality of a woman’s sexuality before and after hysterectomy is likely to be influenced by many of these factors. Psychosocial factors that contribute positively to sexual function include a healthy relationship with a partner, good general health of both partners, freedom from severe life stresses, and absence of financial worry. If one or more of these positive factors is negatively affected, it might disrupt sexual functioning.”

Women need not fear that they will lose their sexual desire after hysterectomy. They need not worry that a hysterectomy will negatively impact their sexual experiences. While some women have experienced difficulties after having a hysterectomy, many women go on to live healthy, enjoyable sex lives after the procedure.

Powered by

About Trish Wilson

  • http://bonamassablog.us Joanie

    I can personally vouch for increased libido and enjoyment after a hysterectomy. They removed the uterus, cervix, ovaries, and fallopian tubes in my case. The first 6-8 months after the hysterectomy were tough, but after that, I felt better than ever.

    Women need to talk with their doctors and partners and determine which option is best for them. Many factors must be considered, but ultimately, the overall health of a woman is the deciding factor.

  • http://QWE FRANK

    Thanks Joanie, I needed your encouragement. My wife had a complete hysterectomy in Nov. ’05. We’re sitting at just under 6 months now. Sex has been painful for her, which causes her desire for sex to go straight south. I am obviously very concerned. But have found a little more strength from your comments in knowing it should get better. Thanks again

  • Stacey

    Hello, I had a hysterectomy in 1998. I have not been the same since. I have been small all my life & my family is also small. Of couse, now I weigh more. Before the hysterecomy, I was crazy about sex. It is a shame that we have the hysterectomy to feel better, but we loose our well-being (mind, personality, spunk & ect). when the Doctors put you on hormones, it either breaks your skin out, oily hair, may cause breast cancer, your not suppose to be on too long, possible weight gain & the list goes on. So, what are we suppose to do. Why can’t we have the same thing/amount of whatever that was in our ovaries that will help us ladies be happy,love sex & have our well-being back. I have been so depressed for so long. And yes I am on a anti-depression rx. thank God.I can’t remember the sisters names that are Doctors in California that help us in his matter. Will someone let me know. And will someone help me?

  • Annamarie

    I just had a historectomy three weeks ago. I am scared to death that it will effect my sex life in a way that it will effect my husband. Is this normal to feel this way? Will it be the same for him, or will he feel a change? please help

  • David

    Well I found out yesterday that my wife is going to have have a hysterectomy next week. It rattles me and her since I am in Iraq as a civilian contractor. I will not be able to be there for her when she wakes up either. I know she is scared as to the final results of what changes she is going to go thru. I am trying to find out as much as I can to help her deal with it. She is worried about her sex drive after it. She is really worried since I am due back home next mth.. Thanx for sharing everything.I will keep cking this blog for more info.

  • http://ssh ssh

    5 months back my wife had ahysterectomy. Before this we enjoyed sex lot. but after the operation till today she does not feel like having sex.She is saying her sexual felings are lost.Can’t she revive her her sexual appetite. Really Iam little worried.My age is 43 and her’s 42.

  • Sierra

    I had a hysterectomy 6 months ago and my libido is through the roof. I don’t know why and I guess that should be a good thing, but I think my husband is having trouble keeping up with me. I guess my problem is on the other end of the spectrum, but maybe those having problems just need to give it a little more time.
    I think my increase in libido is because I don’t have to take birth control pills now (which can lower your sex drive.)

  • Anonymous30

    I just had a hysterectomy November 6,20006 and my sex drive is through the roof and I mean through the roof. I know that I have to wait 6-8 weeks to have sex, but it’s like I can’t stop thinking about sex. Sometimes just thinking about sex makes me wet but I guess that is a good thing right.For all of you women having intimatcy issues my heart goes out to all of you and I hope things get better for you.

  • Babysis

    I had a hysterectomy back in Sept 06, and I have had a great boost in my sex life. I think my thing was more of me being scared thtinking it was going to be painful. So I would say to those who say it’s painful try to clear your mind and relax.

  • Lilianr

    I had mine too on 6 October and have masterbating almost every nite . My libido increased but my husband seems to be avoiding me .may be not interested.

  • Tammi

    Unfotunately, the whole hysterectomy discussion is clouded by many factors and because we don’t compare apples to apples. The starting point should be normal female function and how the surgical procedure hysterectomy (in its various forms) alters and/or diminishes this function. That is how you want to decide whether to have a hysterectomy or not, that is what you need to keep in mind when the procedure has already been completed.

    So, when a woman reports that she has just had the surgery and sex drive or whatever is through the roof – take into consideration what this may be in reference to. Previous to the hyst, she may have had conditions that prevented normal sexual function, while the hyst does not restore normal sexual function – it can remove the previous condition. So if like me, you are someone without a pelvic/reproductive condition affecting your normal sexual function – hysterectomy can only dimish your function after surgery.

    Doctors do not explain the multilevel damage that has to occur in order to perform procedure. The removal of organs that are part of a system and the lost of their fuctions (known and unknown), the structural alteration to the pelvis, damage to nerves/ligaments/blood supply and other connective tissue that serve the entire pelvis, the shortening of the vagina and turning it into a closed scarred pocket. Does any of this sound sexually enhancing and last but not least the derrangement of hormonal production and balance.

    I know the doctors don’t bother to mention any of this, they say it will all be fine and from this blog, there are many women who will echo those sentiments. But if you really think about it, and you start the discussion from normal female function – is this surgery enhancing or diminishing, I think you will have your answer.

    For the husbands out there, I implore you to go to the ends of the earth and find alternatives to surgery. Once the damage is done, it cannot be undone and no amount of hormones, antideppressants, hope, or lies will change this fact. While you can always leave your wife for another woman (as many men do), if you generally care for the wife, listen critically to how the medical community frames this discussion and choose another path. I recommend all women to check out the http://www.hersfoundation.org before making a decision you may regret the rest of your life.

    While I didn’t choose this surgery, it was performed on me nevertheless, so my regret is in seeking medical attention. I’ve lost my family, my career, my education, and my future. Not depressed, these are just the facts.

    Take care all.

  • http://shaz wendy

    i had the opperation 4 yrs ago now , every thing taken away . (what is every thing )well it is what they say every thing , your feelings , your self asteem . every thing you were before you are not again , your sex live , is a waste of time as you have no feelings there any more . you become very self consiouse of the scare , well i qess what im saying is if you DONT NEED IT THEN DONT HAVE IT DONE .

  • http://shaz wendy

    well i had the opperation done 4 yrs ago /the docter came and told me he had removed ever thing , OK whats every think ?well it is just what he said it is ,(every thing )your feelings , your sex drive , your whole live becomes different . well having your bits taken away that makes us different from a man isnt a good boost to us now is it?you dont get told what is realy going to happen to you after . so IF you dont need to have it done then dont , as it should only be done in life threatning cases i think .that just my oppinion ,

  • Mary

    My partner just had a total hysterectomy right after Christmas and I’m told you have to wait 6wks before sex. She was never one to really be hot for a lot of sex and I usually would wait for her cue since I’m told I’m ‘obsessed’. What do I do if the cue doesn’t come in 6 wks or more? She is not happy about hormone therapy since she has breast cancer in the family. If she doesn’t take anything, where does that leave sex? What less is out there?

  • Kara

    I am 28 years old and I have a hyst. planned for Jan. 19th. I am so scared that it will affect my sex life and desire. I love my husband and we are in love. Sex is good for us and it is an important part of our marriage. I have read comments saying that for some it is better and for the others is a very negative change. I don’t know what to think. My doctor suggests that he removes everything. I have very bad scar tissue from having 2 c-sections and multicystic ovaries. I live in pain 80% of the time. I am so torn of what to do. I really need some kind of encouragment. Everything I read seems to make me even more scared. I question my decisions constantly and feel like my life is being taken away.

  • husband

    My wife had a hysterectomy in Feb of 06. She is 41 y/o. Since the surgery, she has created two email accounts to exchange ilicit sexual desires with two different men. She acted upon some of those desires with one of them. Now from a husbands perspective, I have never lost interest in sex and probably think about it the same as when I was 17. My wife did say one thing to me that is the only thing I can make sense of. Her sex drive has increased dramatically. This makes sense to me. So for you woman or men worried whether or not sex would continue after the surgery I offer the previous info. For you men out thier I say this, better watch your wives.

  • CharlotteKate

    Kara-I had a total hysterectomy in September 06 when I was 28. I had a rare form of cancer, no pain or anything, but my doc’s said I needed to get rid of it all to have the best chance of the cancer not coming back. The surgery was hard (it was my second one in seven weeks) but I am really getting better. On the sex front, I feel a lot better now and have no problems with sex. In fact, I may have more sensation and enjoy it more now even though I did not think I was missing out before. I was really super scared after the surgery that things would not work out, that my vagina would be too short, it would hurt, etc. It all worked out ok. Talk to your doctor about this now to ease your mind. Make sure you trust your doctor and his/her surgery skills. If you do, then rest easy. You should not be living in the pain you are in….it will be better after surgery. Lots of posts here and on the web in general are scary and from people who are not coming from the same place as you and me, a place where a hysterectomy is necessary and absolutly the right thing to do…..don’t listen to that stuff. I know how scary it is, but the surgery is what will relieve your pain. I wish you all the best.

  • Jodi

    I was scared into having a radical hysterctomy by a doctor that immediatley decided that it could be Cancer and by my well meaning, but take over everything family. The doctor just basically literally cut and ran. Took out Everything. I never saw him again. My family pressured me very hard and the doctor scared me So bad. Cancer is a very scary word. I was 41 at the time. I wasn’t given enough information, my suggestions were dismissed, I was made to feel scared to death that it was Cancer…even though another doctor (who I believed) did not think it was anything more that Fibroids and Endometriosis. That was exactly what it turned out to be. There are other ways to treat this. I deeply regret this decision. It was made out of fear and pressure. Instant menopause. Bad. Please don’t let this happen to you. Go for other opinions and trust your self. Please don’t let anyone railroad you into this.

    I can understand if a woman was in a Lot of pain before a hysterectomy, sex would naturally be better. But I was not in That kind of pain and I lost the wonderful uterine contractions that I had. Sexual feeling definitely went down hill. Sex basically feel like a “blip” right now. I also feel more depressed and empty that I can possibly ever say. Why don’t doctors tell you this? Maybe going on HRT will change some of this-Please God.

    Please, Please, Please unless it really seems like a life-threatening situation-Think it over and don’t let Anyone pressure you into getting it. Get other opinions. Seconds and thirds if need be. Also, any decent man would not leave their wife/lover over this though-They would try to work with her and other doctors to get help.

  • Donna :o)

    Hi to everyone!! Just found out a few weeks back that I have a uterine fibroid the size of a grape fruit. The location of the fibroid is dead center of the uterus. My OBGYN Dr., whom I do trust, said that she could not remove the fibroid without taking the whole uterus. Well that caught me off guard. I just turned 36 and do not have children. I have had problems conceiving in the past. Have also had back problems and low energy. I do feel that the uterine fibroid is a contributing factor to all the above.

    To try to make a long story short. I’ve been doing a lot of reading up and research on the hysterectomy procedure and fibroids. (That’s why I ended up at this website. LOL) There is a partial hysterectomy and full hysterectomy as I am sure you all know. The cervix is almost always removed along with the uterus. I have been referred to a Specialist. Like someone has already said once it’s done it’s done. KNOW GOING BACK!!! I’ve been emotional about it all. Loosing my female parts, wondering how it will affect the intimate details of my life, and coming to terms with maybe never bearing children. I don’t know what is going to happen. I go to the Specialist in a couple of weeks. A day at a time and I am trying to trust God in it all.

    In closing I would like to thank everyone for their sharing as it has helped me and I would like to post a question for the Men. It is an intimate question and a concern that I have. I am concerned for my sexuality, but for some reason, more concerned about the sexuality of my partner. Does the cervix play a role in sexual feeling for men? Men when you have made love to your wives after a hysterectomy and the cervix has also been removed is there a difference in feeling for you? Maybe it seems like a weird question. Sorry. This is just a deep concern for me.

    Thank you for listening and I feel that any feed back would help me with any decision I will be making regarding my health in the coming days. Would appreciate any and all in put anyone may have. God Bless!!

  • Shannon

    Hi, I am 32 years old and have been in pain for almost 2 years. My doctor mentioned to me about having a hys. I am very scared and don’t know what to do next. All I know is that I am tired of hurting. I want to be sure that I am making the right choice by doing this. I remembering suffering for 5 years and everytime I went to the doctors they old me I had one thing and gave me medicine and that wasn’t the problem. It was when Imet someon with the same problem and I went back to my doctor and told him want to test me for and he finally found the problem and that’s why I afraid because what if I have something else going on and they have not found the correct problem and this hyst could be the least of my problems. HELP ME. I need help before feb 13, 07

  • http:/blogcritics.org/archives2006/01/28/205047.php Ree Ree

    To Donna , posted Feb 6, 2007 13:15 pm
    Im 56 years old had it done a few years ago …
    DO NOT DO THE PROCEDURE DO NOT DO IT ! PLEASE YOU CANT BELEIVE HOW COMPPLICTED THIS SURGERY AND THE AFTER EFFECTS ARE HORRIBLE DO NOT DO IT PLEASE..
    GO TO DR HUFNAGEL WEBSITE AND GET THE FACTS. IF YOIU WANT TO SCREW UP YOUR SEX LIFE , THIS IS A WAY TO DO IT. IT IS NOT WORTH IT.!!! YOU CAN GET THE FIBROID REMOVED ANOTHER WAY AND PRESERVE THE UTERUS !!! THE UTERUS IS WHERE IT IS AT DURING SEX ! CAN YOU GROW ANOTHER UTERUS !!1 IT IS AN ORGAN ! CAN YOU GET A UTERUS TRANSPLANT ?!! HELLO!! I WISH I NEVER DID IT AND THE SURGEON WHO DID IT DID A GREAT JOB BUT DID NOT TELL ME THAT MY SEX LIFE WOULD BE SEVERELY AFFECTED …

  • http://kara aimee

    To number 15. Do not be scared of hysterectomy. I had mine 2 weeks ago and I am wonderful. I feel 100% better then what I have felt like in the past year. I had complete hysterectomy due to dysplasia on cervix & ovaries. Also, abnormal mentrual cycles and we my family history of reproductive cancer and the pre-cancerous changes on my uterus and cervix this was the best option for me. Don’t be scared, you will get through this. I am also around the same age as you. I am 29 years old.

  • Ray

    Hi, everyone; My wife had a complete hysterectomey in 2002. Since then she has no interest in sex whatsoever. She took premarin right away after the procedure but it didn’t stop the hot flashes or mood swings. Her personality changed drastically. Instead of asking her doctor about possible solutions, she insisted that the problem was with me. None of the gynecologists we spoke to found her behavior unusual. Two of the three gynecologists agreed that she should not take hormone replacement. When she was off of the hormones, she stopped caring about her appearance or cleanliness at all. Though she is now back on HRT, she seldom bathes, wears clean clothing or even brushes her hair or teeth. She is no longer the loving, caring woman I married. All that’s left is the listless husk of a person that cares little about the world around her and even less about the husband who married her.

  • Jim

    For #19 and others like her. I am a 56 year old male, and my soon to be wife is 57 years old. She had a complete hysterectomy 5 years ago due to having a large fobroid tumor on her uterus. That was before I had met her. Just for the record, I am a man who has been married three times before, and I have had sex with many beautiful women over the years. The sex with my 57 year old fiancee is the BEST I have ever had! She is very wet, sexy, multi-orgasmic, and has an amazing appetite for making love. We enjoy it for hours, and it’s always wonderful for me. I don’t know what her doctors did differently, but the sex is great! She had two children when she was in her twenties. She claims that the hysterectomy hasn’t changed her at all. She does use the estrogen patch, but that’s all. I just wanted to post this to let those know that really need to have a hysterectomy, that it can work out great for the man in your life.

  • lisa

    I had a hysterectomy 6mths ago. I feel better, were I don’t have pain everday,cancer or bleeding. I still think about sex, want sex, untill it’s time. Alot of times it hurts, the odd time it doesn’t. I had sex about 4 wks ago, it was great the next day I had alot of pain like I tore. Then I got a yeast infection, I have reactions to latex. Then I got vaginitis. So now no sex.That has to be one of the most painful things I’ve ever had. Is this common, vaginitis? After removal of uterus and cervix.

  • Jennifer Pershouse

    I like many other women had a full hysterectomy in 1988. Quite the opposite for me, my sex drive has increased through the roof. My only problem is that while that is great I have a big problem being able to orgasim. Sometimes I have days where the only thing I want to do is stay in bed having sex but it takes a long time for me to reach that point of orgasim. Would appreciate what others think and what they do to help rectify the problem.

  • http://hersfoundation.org Nora W. Coffey

    Women who experienced uterine contratctions during orgasm prior to undergoing hysterectomy have a lot to lose if their uterus is removed. Uterine contractions cannot occur without a uterus. In addition, the nerves, blood supply, and ligaments that attach to the uterus are severed when a hysterectomy is performed, and the vagina is shortened, made into a shortened pocket, sutured shut at the top of the vagina.

    Because functions of a woman’s internal genitalia cannot be seen it is possible for doctors to tell women that sex will be the same or even better than ever. Can anyone imagine a man’s sex life would be improved by having his sex organs amputated.

    The Adverse Effects Data at http://www.hersfoundation.com reveal the truth about what women experience after hysterectomy. They reflect what women actually report about the consequences of hysterectomy.

  • arleda rivers

    I never had a hystrectomy but i know some woman in my family who has and i asked both of them what was thir sex life like after having a hysterectomy and both of them said that they did everything the doctor ask them to do and waited for some time to have sex to be on the safe side.

  • mim

    i had a hysterectomy about three yrs ago, maybe four. i am fixing to turn 43. he left one of soemthing in there so i did not have to have hormones. let me tell u, I AM SO INTO SEX, 6 TIMES A DAY, TWOO AT NITE, AND IN THE MORNING. I AM DRIV9ING MY HUSBAND, WHO IS TWO YRS YOUNGER, CRAZY. I CANT GET ENOUGH.
    but i have a question. oral sex.? my husband says the taste of the woman changes to bad. any men out there that can comment on that? thanks.

  • Noel

    My wife had a Hystorectomy 2 years ago and that wrecked our sex life. She is always complaining about some sort of health problems, she never was sick prior to the knife happy doctor got a hold of her jewels. so now I have a spayed cat and a spayed wife that lay around getting fat watching tv. i am so thankfull that the Almighty gave us the option to masturbate and i am really getting to know myself well !!!

  • Frank

    Our sex life was stolen by hystorectomy a few years back and it has been a total tragedy.
    My advice to any woman considering it should think long and hard and should seek any possible alternative before going under the knife. remember your doctor is in the busines of doing surgury! and most likely in need of a Lexus payment. visit hersfoundation.org and get the facts.

  • Crystal

    I am a 34 year old mother of two and I had my surgery two weeks ago and I feel great! I have very little pain form the surgery and I have had none of the problems that I have heard about. I have heard horror storys and I was so scared but with my Dr., whom I trust, I made the decition and I am glad I did. I don’t feel empty or depressed and I may regret it later but for now I don’t see any problems other than I can hardly wait for my 6 weeks to be up.

  • angie

    I am 28 years old. I had a hystorectomy 3 weeks ago, my doctor was able to leave my ovaries. I am counting the days until my 6 weeks are up. It’s all I can do to not think about sex. I hope there is someone that can answer my question… Would it hurt the healing process if my husband were to rub my clitoris without inserting his finger so I can organsim?

  • Tess

    When I needed a hysterectomy, I did my homework and then told my doctor what I wanted. I told him to save my cervix and ovaries. He asked why save the cervix, it won’t affect sex. Baloney! The cervix has mucus secreting glands for lubrication, it provides pelvic support, and its nerve endings remain intact. There is no cutting, shortening, or scarring of the vagina.

    Three weeks ago, I had a laparosopic supracervical hysterectomy, which means my diseased uterus was dissected and removed through three small abdominal incisions. My cervix is intact. The post op recovery time is much faster and I had no vaginal pain at all. I had sex with strong orgasms TWO WEEKS after surgery (hubby used a condom). I could have sworn I felt uterine contractions. I think because I suffered for a year with all my symptoms, I feel so much better than before my surgery. No regrets. My advice is Do Your Homework and find a doctor who is exerienced in minimally invasive surgery.

  • jean

    I have come to believe that if things were good sexually BEFORE a hysterectomy, regardless of whether or not the removal of cervix and/or ovaries, that they will be just as good AFTER the operation. WOW — never knew there were so many misconceptions about womens’s sexual response after hyterectomy. I’m glad I didn’t read all that crazy negative stuff when I had my surgery –it would have scared me to death!! I already had passed through menopause (About 5 years). HEY — SEX IS STILL GOOD. HYSTERECTOMY SURE BEATS CANCER AND DYING YOUNGER THAN NECESSARY!!!

  • http://Wondering Wondering

    I am 46 years old. I had a total vaganial hystorectomy including tubes and ovaries 2 weeks ago. I am counting the days until my 6 weeks are up. It’s all I can do to not think about sex. I hope there is someone that can answer my question… Would it hurt the healing process if my husband were to rub my clitoris without inserting his finger so I can organsim?

  • carmen

    iam 35 yrs old my dr. said i need to have a hysterectomy…i had cervical dysplaisha and need my uterus removed as well im very scared now after reading all this i just wanted to know how it felt for the guy!!! if it felt the same or tighter or more open or just empty i never thought id get all this info . now i am scared to death to even go back to see my dr. i cant even begin to think of how my life will change if i do this … will i gain weight will i loose all sexual feelings will i not even want it anymore .. i just want to live life as close to normal without pain as i can during sex . i never had a problem with sex before now after reading this i am more afraid then ever before that i might lose what i have now only to gain all the bad things that have been said .PLEASE SOMEONE HELP ME GIVE ME SOMETHING TO LOOK FORWARD TO THANKS EVERYONE TAKE CARE AND GOD BLESS YOU ALL!!!!

  • Zafs

    Its eight weeks now after my Total Hysterectomy and I am on Livial HRT. I am completely normal and feel and look much much better after my surgery. Nothing changes and infact it gets better. So ladies, please do not worry. I am very happy and my sex drive has also improved and get my normal orgasms. So Cheers and do not bother yourselves. Believe me.

  • Zafs

    Bye the way I am 45 years old. Its 8 weeks now after my total hysterectomy. I am on Livial HRT. I am doing great. About putting on weight, all you need to do is cut off on all fats and go for your daily walks. Have your breakfast like a Queen and dinner like beggar and you will see the changes. Its all in the mind that things change and rightfully it does not. Just be brave and face the facts and you will see rewards to follow. My husband finds me beautiful NOW and has falling in love with me once again. So Please do not lose hope you guys are doing great !! I am doing great!! Love you all and big hugs. [Personal contact info deleted]

  • Ms. Que

    My question is similar to #33 except that I had mine last week and my doctor was able to leave my left ovary. I am counting the days until my 6 weeks are up. It’s all I can do to not think about sex. I hope there is someone that can answer my question… Would it hurt the healing process if my husband were to rub my clitoris without inserting his finger so I can organsim?

  • Bev

    Complete hysterectomy 2 1/2 months ago. Previously multi-orgasmic, strong uterine contractions, overwhelming climaxes. Now…the desire is in my head…but the body does not follow. Following our reasonable effort to stimulate, the climax is hard to achieve and very little at best. Perhaps 5% feeling and release of what I used to have. I am very saddened by this surgery outcome. I hope things improve as the months pass.

  • soozii

    I am a very fit and slim 47 year old, and had a hysterectomy 6 weeks ago, but preserved my ovaries because I didn’t want to lose my sex-drive which has always been strong. I’m glad I did as my sex-drive is also through the roof! I was worried that the lack of cervix and uterus was going to create problems, but this is not the case – and you’ve guessed, I couldn’t wait the whole six weeks before having full-on sex, no problems, no pain. (Hope the husband is going to be able to keep pace!)
    I am glad to see that there are many women out there with an enhanced sex life after hysterectomy – so I don’t need to feel like a freak; but find it worrying that there are so many women with the opposite problem. Is this a lottery, luck, or is there a physiological reason?
    My message to those less fortunate is keep trying, keep experimenting and good luck!
    And Ms Que #40 – that won’t harm you at all, I did loads of that, keeps the wolf from the door.

  • Gayle

    Bev, I sympathize. My orgasms were always astounding before, pretty much an all-body experience. I had a complete hysterectomy on Feb 13 followed by 3 radiation treatments to the vaginal cap. We’ve only had intercourse once at 7 weeks after surgery, before the radiation treatments began. The experience was painful and disappointing. Hubby masterbating me on other occasions was also a disappointment, difficult to reach, resulting in a weak orgasm, I think caused by the fact there are no longer cervical spasms. I can’t use HRT. I sure hope it gets better than this soon.

  • Gayle

    My surgeon said it was fine to masturbate or have your hubby do it as soon as you’re comfortable with it as long as nothing enters the vagina for 6 weeks after surgery. For us that meant about 10 days, but everyone is different.

  • Donna

    I had my hysterectomy back in 1999 and since then have gone from a size 14 to a 22 mainly due to feeling unattractive to my husband. He very seldom wants to “perform” and it’s near impossible to get him to “rise to the occasion”. He says he gets lost inside of me and doesn’t feel me when I climax. Regardless of that I don’t regret having it all taken out because of the excruiating pain I experienced on a daily basis until the operation. What a horrible feeling to feel so unloved. The climatic sensation has lessened since the op, but I can still achieve an enjoyable climax – even without him. Are there others that have experienced similar problems. What a total letdown.

  • Jai

    my ex-fiancee had an hysterectomy years before we met and revealed to me every man including her ex-husband had affairs on her. I couldn’t understand why would any man would want go else where on a sexy woman. Well it didnt take long to find out. In the beggining of our relationship we had sex several times per week but as the relationship became more serious and my feelings grew stronger the less sex we had. She often attributed her lack of desire to being molested as a child but I would remind her of the many times we would have sex in the early part of our relationship. She would also complain of me being to large, start agruements to avoid having sex, or give me sex as a way of me staying with her after a break-up. Currently Im a nursing student and we briefly touched on the side affects of having a hystrectomy done. Currenly we are at the end of our relationship and I no longer want to spend the rest of my life with some-one who play sex games and cannot be truthful and honest about her sexual problems with the man she loves. Im a understading man and we can find other ways to satisfy my desire because I dont cheat on the women Im with. With that said we are currently off we still are in love and we both said we want to work on this but and its been almost 2 months since we had sex and she will not have it with me but accuse me on every occassion of cheating. It’s to the point I was thinking she was cheating on me but I read an article on http://www.hersfoundation.com that is starting to make me think differently. She has all the bad side effect of having an hysterctomy which are: hardly any sex drive, painful sex to where it hurts to place even my finger into her virgina, bad mood swings, chronic fatigue, vaginal dryness, joint pains such as reoccurance tendonitis, SHORT-TERM MEMORY LOSS to the point she can’t remember her own LIES, or replace her forgotten memories with new ones and accept them as reality. I once heard she was a sexual person in the past but this hysterectomy cause man men to stray on her. If we stay together I won’t stray but we need to bring this out into the opening and stop laying sex games before Im gone for good. Do anyone has any suggestions?

  • Annette

    Hi,

    Let me refer you who are “not the same” after a hysterectomy to check out bio-identical hormones.

    Dr. Prudence Hall in Santa Monica, CA is an expert in this field and will probably be able to help you.

    Also, read Suzann Somors book “The sexy years.” She had cancer and chose to take bio-identical hormones and is still cancer free as far as I know. These hormones are safer than the ones made from horse urine and are custom designed for your own body.

  • Anitra Mason

    I have had a Total hysterectomy back in 1998, I have lived in terrible pain ever since. I have only have sex twice which were painful. My husband left me after 3 months. It has now been 9 years and I am 43 years old and I still live in pain. I have been to several doctors which 2 have told me they did not know what was wrong with me one said I had endometriosis (which is why I had the surgery) and one told me that I have a lot of scar tissue attached to my nerve endings and there is nothing I could do about it. That was six years ago. Now I still have pain everyday and a week ago I went to the ER where I had a cat scan done and was told I had swollen lymph nodes in the groin area. They gave me some pain meds and sent me out the door. 3 days later I went back to the ER and had more x-rays done in which I was told I have diverticulosis. I again was given some pain meds and anti inflammatory and sent home. These meds made me sick and I can’t take them. I’m still where I have always been, in pain daily and cannot have sex. I feel that my vagiana is only 3 inches long and there is a spot at the end that is very painful if touched. I tried to put a tampon in the other day just to see if it would fit. NO and I could not wait to take it out it was so painful. I once was a body builder and could lift 500 pounds with my legs and 200 pounds upper body. Now I can’t walk down the street. If I have an orgasium I will have throbbing pain for about the next 5 days. I feel my sex life is over and I just live for my daughter. No man wants a broken wife who can’t put out and I can’t find a doctor that understands what I am going through. I do NOT have dryness in fact it seems to be more lubricant than before, which I don’t understand. The desire for sex is still there but the equipment is out of order. My problem may be that I live in Georgia where the quality of health care is very low. HELP ME PLEASE!!!!!!!!

  • Regina

    Hi,
    I just recently had a hyseterectomy and bladder repair, in early April – my birthday present to myself. I had sex on May 26th and I haven’t been the same.I have severe pain evey day too. My Drs keep me on MEDS and keep telling that I dont have any thing wrong with me, that the “inflammation” will go down and that I’ll get better. I’ve been sent back to work and I can’t stand the pain when I’m sitting there. I do ok for the first 1-2 hours but then I find myself in the worse pain just from even sitting. I am sooo depressed and my family seem to be getting frustrated and tired of me crying and “complaining” about it every day. I did this to stop my pain from my horrible periods and prolapsed Uterus. I had an MRI yesterday and the report SHOWS UP NORMAL???? I’m really scared I’m only 43 and I don’t want to live life in pain this way. I think I may have scar tissue or my bladder repair has been disturbed or damaged? Although I am using the bathroom fine? So what’s happened to me? WHy am I continually in pain and why is this not getting better? I want to be my normal self, I was a very sexual active person and had a normal marriage and lifestyle. I need help!! I don’t know anyone who has gone through this before.

  • Alison

    I had a hysterectomy performed on me in April. There was nothing wrong with my uterus or ovary but they went ahead and took them out anyway – can you believe it?. I was told I had a recurrance of a tumour and there was nothing. I told them I didn’t want a hysterectomy as it is an incredibly scar forming operation – there is no getting away from it. You know my mother is 82 and she has more hormones inside of her than I do and I’m only 46 – that’s how I feel. Everytime I have sex it feels like my husband is going to burst into my bottom. It’s sore for days after. I had it checked out and was told my vagina is a normal 4 inches in length. Yeah that might well be the case but it doesn’t stretch much more. I can fully understand that someone who is bleeding all the time or has huge fibriods will have a better time post hysterectomy, especially when they retain the ovaries. But I feel that many surgeons look upon women with distaste and take the whole lot out with the tired old excuse ‘you may well get cancer in the future’. Past the age of 50 men have double the chance of getting prostate cancer than females with all the gynae cancers put together – yet they don’t have their prostates removed ‘just in case’. I now have to live with this for the rest of my life. Please be proactive when having consultations and bring up the question ‘How will a hysteretomy affect my sex life? How will having a hysterctomy improve my life?

    Hysterectomy is a mutilation of the upper vagina and should be done for life saving procedures only- we all get shocked when we are told of genital mutilation and yet how is a total hysterectomy any different?

    It’s time to drastically reduce the rates of hysterectomies being performed. Get informed and save your wombs. You wont regret it.

  • Cassaundra

    I recently had a hystorectomy and I feel fabulous. I have more energy, I’ve lost weight, my skin looks better, the whole nine. I finalized my divorce four days before the surgery. All I can say is my husband made his move too soon. My sexual libdo is through the roof. I couldn’t wait until my doctor realesed me, but then I didn’t have anyone to sleep with. Well, I recently found him and I am amazed at how my body reacted. I am multi-orgasmic,highly sensiteive and can go for hours. Boy oh boy oh boy!!! Life after the procedure is the best. Although I’m 35 I feel like I’m in my early 20’s only this time I know what I’m doing.

  • http://www.hersfoundation.org/anatomy Nora W. Coffey

    It’s interesting that you say women need not worry that hysterectomy will negatively impact their sexual experience. Women who experienced uterine orgasm will never experience it again after hysterectomy because their uterus will no longer be in their body. This is a negative impact on sexual experience.

    You did not provide information about the well documented permanent and serious consequences of hysterectomy. Every woman should be given a DVD of the video “Female Anatomy: the Functions of the Female Organs” before she is told to sign a Hysterectomy Consent Form. This new 12-minute educational video can be watched and downloaded free.

  • hakanya

    I just want to know one thing! Thats the size of the vagina? Does the vagina channel get wider? Does it give a feeling of emptiness to the man? Is there cases that the vaginas size is reduced to almost nothing?
    Thanks a lot

  • http://MEMEME KGS

    I’m a 52 yr. woman, who had a total hyster. on 5/05. Due to a fibroid tumor Dr. had been wathing a few yrs. They said it would probably go away after menopause and shrink but instead it got alittle larger. I had breast cancer in 89, total masmt. in 9/89, followed by chemo. I chose to have the masm. I’m doing fine now, but was advised never to take estrogen, or anything as such. It’s been 2 yrs. now, and having intercouse is painful, even though I try at times. tlkd to my dr. today and he said to try a lubrecant such as silk-E? has anyone ever tried this and it makes a difference to you? E
    If anyone out there is has my problem, please advise. I can still have an organism, with no pain, thats not a big problem.. just want to be comfortable the other way. Haven’t tried it yet.
    Please respond!!! Thanks. kgs

  • Tammi

    For Jai (#46), you are right that there is no way to sustain a relationship if you do not openly discuss her condition and how together you will deal with her limitations. For all, I think we have gone over the same ground, the best word to describe the aftermath of this surgery is “derrangement”. Whether you end up with some hyper symptoms (sex drive through the roof) or hypo symptoms (no sex drive) its merely two sides of the same coin. Whether you end up with hyper-thyroid or hypo-thyroid, or hot flashes versus temperture dysregulation (too hot/too cold), etc. These are all symptoms of the aftermath that affects balance body system wide. And that’s just in addition to the physical loss of function from removed organs, altered pelvic structure, and altered nerve, blood supply, etc. function. Also, having a hyper function that is more acceptable to society does not equate to having retained health which at its height requires homeostasis. Please don’t be fooled into thinking your hyper symptom equates to balanced hormones, functioning immune system, unaffected cirulatory system, unaltered nervous system. Nor do not think that a hyper system today, may not be come a hypo symptom tommorrow……

    We don’t have anything to debate, what each of the women and men who have posted have noted is that there are no guarantees with this surgery and who will experience which symptoms cannot be predicted. It doesn’t matter the surgeon, or your trust in the doctor, or your reason for coming to surgery or your health status. The results can only be the same for all women:
    neither constructive or restorative surgery.

  • soozii

    It’s 6 months now since my hysterectomy and yesterday was my 48th birthday – it may as well have been my 18th! I feel much better than before the operation and very fit and perky. My sex drive has settled down (thankfully) although on balance it is better than ever.

    But to answer Hakanya (#53) – yes the vagina is slightly shortened after hysterectomy with cervix removal, but only slightly. Remember the vagina is very stretchy, it expands to pass a baby at childbirth. I notice that mine is shorter, but this is actually an advantage, I can feel my husband all the way through to the end when we have sex and it’s great. My cervix and uterus used to get involved with sex before the op, but it doesn’t seem to matter that they are gone now – perhaps there is such a thing as “Phontom cervix” like Phantom leg syndrome when someone has had an amputation. I’m just as moist as before, except when I would normally have a menstrual period it’s a bit less, so have used lubrication occaisionally (It works KGS #54 – give it a go), but it’s usually not necessary for me.

    I think being fit before the op and regaining fitness afterwards is a huge advantage with this operation. I’ve gone back to the gym and have been working on re-strengthening my stomach muscles, my scar areas sometimes feels tender, but it’s getting less as time goes by.

  • Beavis

    I am 43 and had a total hysterectomy 5 years ago after 2 previous badly done surgeries to remove massive fibroids and endemitriosis. Prior to the first surgery, my sex life was always great, couldn’t get enough. Since the first 2 surgeries and then hysterectomy, not only do I have no sex drive, when I do try, it’s extremely painful. Not dryness but feeling sharp pain at what would be the top of the vagina. My husband ended up having an affair which I really didn’t blame him for and we divorced, we are still very close friends. Haven’t really dated since, attempted intercourse once with an old boyfriend whom I’m very comfortable with but it was just too painful. I’ve given up on having a normal relationship with a man again and just concentrate on my family (never had kids), friends and homeless outreach work. My new Dr did bloodwork recently and said I probably had PCOS which doctors in our relatively backwoods town are just now hearing about – this could have been successfully treated without surgery had we known. We discovered I’m insulin resistant and I’ve lost 25 pounds this summer just eating differently – it just breaks my heart that we didn’t know this before and my sex life is probably gone forever.

  • soozii

    Eureka! I may have found the answer to the unlucky ladies’ problems here. DARK CHOCOLATE! Before you all laugh and go away – there’s research going on at the moment about it, take a look at http://www.nerve.in/tags:dark+chocolate, it might help.

    I was wondering why I’ve been feeling SO randy these last few days, it might be because I ate some really delicious dark chocolate called “Heaven”. It’s not your ordinary dark choc, it’s got bits of cocao in it and isn’t at all sickly sweet, but not too bitter either. I think the trick is not to over-do it. I only ate 33g on Saturday and the same on Sunday, I never eat chocolate during the week as I don’t want to put on weight.

    Give it a try – it can’t hurt you.

  • http://hersfoundation.org/conference.html Tammi

    Ladies I think the comments of #58 speak for themselves. While there has been lack of compassionate treatment and comments on this blog, there are no “unlucky women” here.

    The medical community simply has a practice of removing women’s reproductive/sexual organs for mostly benign conditions – for profit.

    This practice is carried with or without proper diagnosis of a women’s gyn condition; it is carried out with or without a woman’s consent; it is carried out with or without a woman’s knowledge of the consequences; and it is carried out with or without medical need.

    While unfortunatley there is no cure, understanding the truth and facts surrounding this practice will insure your daughter and anyone else you care about doesn’t suffer this fate.

    Women will need to come up with a strategy for your reproductive health from contraception to post-menopause, the game on the table is not about whether to have a hysterectomy today, but how you will address your issues if some condition arises (fibroids, bleeding, pain, endometriosis, etc.), if a doctor says “it looks like cancer” or “you don’t need your uterus or ovaries if you are not planning to have children or are post-menopause” or “your fibroids are too large” or “hysterectomy is your only option and you will feel better”. If you don’t have a strategy in place, you may find yourself making a decision based on fear and/or misinformation.

    An article of note:
    ….The physician-author of a 1913 text on the secretory glands observed that “…castration is followed by changes, even in young persons, which largely resemble those of senile degeneration..”

    …The speed with which such changes can occur is stunning. Skin and vaginal atrophy can manifest so quickly that doctors can observe pathological vaginal changes before patients begin to experience symptoms. “I am told by gynaecologists that they can already see that an atrophy is developing some 6 weeks after castration. It takes another 6-10 weeks before women begin to complain about dyspareunia [painful or difficult intercourse]”.

  • soozii

    Tammi, I think there might be a small misunderstanding here. Firstly, there are so many unhappy experiences on this blog that I wanted people (who may need a hysterectomy) to know that a hysterectomy does not always create such a negative result. I wanted to put the other side of the picture.
    Secondly, and probably more importantly, I am writing from the UK. I had my hysterectomy on the UK NHS – the doctors here are not doing this for profit – the NHS is free (we pay for it via our taxes). I requested that my ovaries were kept in place, and this is what happened. Other women in this area of the UK who have also had the operation tell me that they feel a lot better too.
    Perhaps my surges in sexual energy have been a coincidence rather than a product of my operation. I was just wondering what on earth was going on with me.

  • http://westonaprice.org/women/index.html Tammi

    No misunderstanding, I was trying to point out an overarching practice. The practice of removing women’s reproductive sexual organs for benign conditions. It neither matters if its for profit, cost, or free.

    I also wanted to point out that there are no guarantees that normal health will persist for the lifetime of the woman even if she retains her ovaries – because removing the uterus also compromises the ovaries. In fact the odds say some women will experience a decline immediatley, within 6 months, and for others it may take 1 year, 2 years, etc.

    Lastly, my point was to say that it is inaccurate to consider women who report the known consequences of hysterectomy as “unlucky” or “unhappy”. All women who have a hysterectomy have:
    – lost the functions of the organs removed
    – lost of normal blood/nerve supply to the pelvis
    – lost normal pelvic structural integrity
    – and lost normal hormonal/endocrine interactions

    All of these things have nothing to do with ones sexual experiences post-op. And there are not two sides to hysterectomy – there can only be one, what has been done can not be undone.

  • http://www.how-to-avoid-hysterectomy.com/ Dusko Savic

    Hi to all here

    Although my site is active for more than two years by now, I have only today stumbled upon this blog. The comments here show how painful everything about hysterectomy seems to be and what I find most disturbing is this sheep mentality that so many women succumb to. Oh, the doctor said it would be OK, so it must be OK, right? The thought that some real healing should be tried before the surgery is so alien to the Western World that the results really are sickening.

    Every illness has its cause. Removing the cause will lead to true healing, but what do women do instead!? They go to a doctor and hope that they will be able to purchase a solution. Hysterectomy is so widespread in the USA because there is an implicit belief that doctors hold the keys to everything and vise versa, if they don’t know what to do, than all the means are exhausted. This enervates me because I know that there are at least 5, 6 or 7 ways to heal uterine fibroids, heavy menstrual bleeding, cancer and so on. In 20% of cases, hysterectomy will be the only way to proceed, but what about those 80% that can really avoid hysterectomy if only they knew it were possible.

    Somebody in these comments said it was not possible to predict the outcome of a hysterectomy. Well, it is possible to predict it through the methods of medical astrology. On my site I list many such cases, and I openly give the recipes that helped several women stop their menstrual bleeding, avoid hystrectomy etc. And here we are not talking about $5000 cost of surgery, we are talking about cheap natural remedies such as herbal remedies, homeopathic remedies, enzymes and the like, that can all be gathered for a few bucks from Amazon.

    The point is this: if you want to get healed, you will be — but somebody first has to tell you that you can be healed. Surgery is cutting out, not healing. The Moon rules both the uterus and the breasts, and when they take away the uterus, the energy goes to the breasts… which is why so many women on HRT after hysterectomy develop cancer of the breasts.

    For the ladies here that experienced sex drive through the roof after hysterectomy, that kind of behavior is astrologically described as an aspect of Mars and Uranus. It may well be possible that such an aspect was made during the surgery, and that it may affect you harder that it normally would. Strong sexual drives may also come as a result of too much testosterone, so everybody with this type of behavior should control their hormonal mix from time to time.

  • Matt

    My wife underwent a complete Hysterectomy 8/26/2007 She is 45, I am 47,were both athletes
    Our experience has not been good, She elected not to do HRT. Her sexual desire is zero. We have been married for 24 years and have been kids in love for 30 years. Our relationship is strong, and this is taking a toll. She did suffer before having this done for many years, with painful cycles, cysts and bouts of anemia so hers was a choice of quality of life. Ask her now which she would have chose. I still love her for who she is, but I do miss the intimacy we once had. We do have sex but it is not enjoyable for me or her, she is very dry and the texture of her vaginal wall has changed. I urge individuals and couples to really weigh the pros and cons before proceeding.

  • Matt

    Let me correct my date. My wife had her procedure 5/26/2007.

  • Becky

    When I had my hyst. as I look back, the first thing my doctor asked me was…”Do you have insurance?” I had one little fibroid. I was talked into it…even asking the doctor questions about what I’d heard negatively from other hyst. vicims, he replied arrogantly… “Oh, you don’t have to worry about that.” I was naive and weak during that time. But after I had done, the moment I woke up I knew I had made a terrible mistake…and I had.

  • Becky

    What also makes me sick is how some med. people go on these supposed mission trips to third world countries to do these surgerys, only leaving the poor women to suffer the reprocussions of loss of sex life, children (their naural resource), and no doctors or pharmacies there to help them with the complications that occur from the hysterectomy proceedure, or being dry and/or torn by their husbands during intercoarse. In such cases an American could atleast be cauterized. What a horrible thing to do to these poor women.

  • Joanna

    My sex life was Great before my hysterectomy. Now it is not worth bothering about. I think that women who have their orgasms in the uterus (Otherwise known as The Big O) will feel a Huge difference.

    Either doctors are clueless,(which is pathetic) or they really don’t want to know because there is too much money being made off of this, which is criminal when you think about it. Sex is Not the same for women who enjoyed Deep sex. Not by a long shot.

    Also, to the lady who said “women are like sheep”. I respecfully ask you to reconsider what you said. No, women are scared by our own ignorance and by ignorant and greedy doctors. More blogs like this one need to be around. Did you know that out 90% of the women who get hysterctomies could be handled another way?, because It Is Not Cancer-Just Fibroids. I wish I had more information before I got my hysterctomy. I would have done it different.

    Please don’t let the doctor take out healthy parts just because “cancer may grow there in the future”. Can you ever imagine a man letting someone take a healthy testicle because “cancer might grow there in the future?”

    Please, Please, I am begging you- preserve as much of your body as you can. If one doctor won’t listen to you, find another who will This operation really does change your Whole Life. For some for the better, for many for the worse. I wish I had more information. It’s too late for me, not for you. I hope this post helps some woman.

  • Menstrualfreesince2003

    My full hysto was in Nov 2003. And here I am today still searching the web 4 years later! there are pro’s and con’s to the surgery. I am blessed not to go through the nightmares of what we all went through each month. Sometimes weeks at a time,along with endometrious, blah blah blah. Cons, My healthy wonderful sex life is GONE! I am 47 years old, Married 24 years and my heart is broken, I HAVE NO DESIRE FOR SEX! I might as well just join a convent. If i had to do over i NEVER would have had the surgery…NEVER…There is nothing worse then losing your sexual desire especially for the man you adore..Estrogen is a must and not the synthetic kind…So, if you are reading this, find another option. I am a healthy woman still searching for answers and praying my husband doesn’t find another worman.

  • Suzanne

    Help Please! I am 37 years old.I had a total hysterectomy 2 years ago. Will estrogen give me back my sex drive? I was told not to take it, because it causes breast cancer. Sex hurts. I use a lubricant, but it still hurts. It never hurt before. What can I do to make it stop hurting? I think this is because my cervix is also gone, so I am shorter there. I wish I never had this operation. I didn’t have cancer, just a fibroid. I am grateful for that, but not for all of this. I am also very depressed and I feel like I have PMS, but with no relief of getting my period. Everyone just tells me to shut up and be grateful it was not cancer. I need help dealing with this. What do I do now, to help myself? Please help me ladies, for those of you who know how to help this, Please Help Me with Anything you know that might help. Thank you.

  • Mylifeisgone

    I want my uterus, my cervix, my fallopian tubes and my ovaries back. I feel like someone cut me open and gutted me. Mood swings, hot flashes, a vagina like an old lady’s and sex drive way down. A vagina that hurts too much to have sex.

    Why didn’t anyone tell me it was going to be this bad? Why do women tell all these happy stories and say how much Better sex is? It’s a lie, At least for me. It’s nothing like it was. Women should tell each other the truth and help each other find options. Why isn’t the medical community stepping it and finding alternatives to hysterectomy?

    The doctor/surgeon said “You need it, it may be cancer, and if it is then it’s Really Bad”. He never even saw me again after the surgery. He found No Cancer. Only benign fibroids and a little bit of endometriosis. Why isn’t this Quack in jail? I am only 45 years old and I can’t live like this anymore. I can’t imagine any man ever wanting me like this and I feel like hell.

  • Carleen

    I am facing a possible hysterectomy. I have HPV and have had reproductive issue for about 20 years now. (pre-cancereous cervical cells and now uterine cells) I am 38. I want the hysterectomy because of the possible issues I am facing and I am doing my researching now. I am expecting my doctor to call me “at any minute” with the latest test results. I want sex all the time but I dont know if searching for other options is in the cards for me. Naturally I dont want to lose my sex drive BUT if it means saving and extending my life…I will happily do so. I think my chances of being ME after the surgery are 50/50 from reading all of these blogs and I think the results depend so much more than who your doctor was, when it was done or why. I think it has to do with you win some, you lose some. I had my tubes tied last year amongst horror stories from friends, co-workers and some family. My doctor assured me that while some woman experience bad results I should pay more attention to family members who had the procedure (my sister) as genetically we were more same than not. My surgety went EXCELLENT and my doctor told me I could be a poster board for the procedure. Hopefully (if I must have the hysterctomy) That will ring truth. I personally know 2 persons who had a hysterectomy and they both PRAISE it. I dont have family member who had it but hopefully I can come back to this site and share my experience. I wish all you women the best.

  • Suzanne

    Hi. Me again. Help Please. Someone.I had a total or a radical hysterectomy (not sure which, and my surgeon and his nurse are impossible to get on the phone). He won’t see patients after surgery. My sex drive is much lessened, but it is still here, even without hormones. It still hurts though.

    I did not have cancer or pre-cancer. I’m sorry, but I do not go along with “you win some, you lose some”. That is for horse races. I understand why someone with pre-cancer or cancer would Definitely need and be very grateful for this surgery. I wish anyone in that state well. God bless and take care of all of you in that situation. I didn’t have either, so I still feel it was a big mistake.

    I would really, really appreciate some help from someone on this board who had gone through what I have or Please directions to a Blog that will help. I read a lot of negative things, I would like to learn positive ways that woman can improve their sex lives when they can no longer have uterine orgasms. Also how to make the pain go away from no cervix and a shortened vagina. Any good advise would be appreciated. Please help me. I am too young to live like a nun. Thank you. God bless.

  • http://www.google.com ABB

    hi all experts

    Please some body suggest me right way :( i just want to know is there any problem in having sex when Ovary of female get damages ???

    if any know the answer the n please post here

  • Becki

    I am 41 years old. I had a vaginal hysterectomy 2 1/2 weeks ago because of uterine fibroids and cervical polyps. I’ve read all about the horror stories about no sex drive, or pain, etc. I haven’t had sex yet since my six weeks isn’t up, but I’m not worried. My orgasms have always originated in my mind before I start to feel anything down below. I clear my mind of the entire world and focus only on how good sex feels and how much I want to orgasm – and I have the best orgasms. I kinda even blank out my husband and concentrate on just what I’m feeling. So I know I will have orgasms when I can resume sex. I can even have an orgasm without stimulation – just by thinking about having an orgasm. This I have already done since my surgery. On the other hand I can also syke myself out of having an orgasm if I think in my mind I can’t have one. I’m kinda wondering if the women that are having problems are syking themselves out in a similar manner….if so, my advise is to just stop worrying about not having orgasms and concentrate on having them….

  • Deborah

    I had a TOTAL HYSTER 4years ago October and have not been the same since. The pain,dryness, total lack of desire has caused more than a strain on my marriage. After my first husband died, I remarried a younger man with an enormous sex drive. That was fine until the surgery. If I had it to do over I would have just lived with the pain until a partial hysterectomy would have been performed. It is 4 years and I too am still searching for answers. Everyone says don’t use HRT, but when I do not there is no way to live in the same house and there would never be any sex. I am sorry I allowed them to do a total hysterectomy when other options were available.

  • MM

    I had a hysterectomy in 2005 June at the age of 25 and it was performed as the last resort to save my life. If it was not for a negligent Gynae my life would not have been under threat to start off with. My advice is to NOT EVEN CONSIDER IT unless you are on life support(which was my situation) and about to go 6 feet underground. The emotional turmoil afterwards is exhausting and it also leaves a woman feeling insecure. I still wonder it I feel the same as before when my husband is inside me.I always have to use lubrication during sex and its just annoying.

    Some Dr’s just want the money..remember that, its a money making scheme.

  • Jennifer

    I had my hysterectomy in January 2005. I had huge fibroids, endo, cysts, anemia and totally awful periods. I thought my life was a living hell. Couldn’t wait for the relief the Dr’s promised me that would come after the surgery. I am still waiting. Dryness, pain, weight gain, I can go on and on. My husband is great, he tries not to push me but I know it gets old for him. I tried hormones for awhile but as we all know they don’t want you on them for long. Hot flashes are miserable, but are getting better, I don’t have them one on top of the other now. I adore my husband, but I can’t summon the interest in our sex life. Why do I want to do something that hurts? I havn’t had an orgasm since the surgery. They took everything, I had hoped to keep at least one ovary. When I asked the Dr. about sex after..I was told your husband will really like it, you will be tighter. Tighter heck I feel like I don’t want a pencil in there let alone anything larger. I am angry because I think there is an attitude with the Dr’s that well you have some problems and the this will solve them. What they don’t tell you is that it creates a whole new set. I wasn’t prepared for this. I feel like every woman who is contemplating this needs to be told all of this, I certainly wasn’t and I am not sure that I would have made the same choice. I am 37 now, and feel like I am too young to be feeling the way that I do. At least before my hyst. I was able to have sex without the pain. To me it was a trade…. I thought I would get a better quality of life, instead I just traded one set of problems for another…….and these directly affect my marriage. He tries to be understanding but how far does that go? How do you explain that when he enters me it feels like something is tearing, and that is with the lubricant. Forget spontaneous affection there is no way I am doing anything without my trusty bottle and that doesn’t even help that much. Does anyone have any suggestions? I am very unhappy with my choice to have this done. I feel like I wasn’t informed as to the ramifications of it. I was led to believe this would solve all the problems I was having.

  • loner

    hello came across the blog and i just want to share iyr experience my wife and i went through the same ordeal on may2005 it took her some time to recover, since it was a total hys with the removal of everything, Doc did not touch or fold any external parts. she was instructed to follow a medication for hormones first it was evista then since the long time effects wrere not very much liked and then she went to levial and now novenber 2007 she is following a herbal treatment. It took us a rather long time to bring her uo to par she is (or apperas) to enjoy oursexlife she has no side effects on and off her mood changes but in general she is doing ok what i am trying to say ( since i am not a doctor,i did not have the surgery,nor did i experience the sence of losing something very important to my sere existence,)is try some kind of different medication, love and effection, lubricants used with tenderness and in a form of foreplay may work, speak to the doctor or better yet find someone else,and above all REALAX dont push it the more you get anxious the whorse it gets our experience shows that it took us some time about 6 months or something more but finally we are there but we went through together and we try different methods

  • Patti

    as someone commented earlier i would urge anyone having problems after a hysterectomy to seek out NHRT (natural hormone replacement therapy) as opposed to HRT (hormone replacement therapy), the standard hormone replacement made from horse urine. with NHRT your hormone levels can be tested through a simple saliva test and custom made for your body.
    the NHRT bioidentical hormones are just that, they are identical to the hormones you are supposed to have in your body and not just a sorta kinda close like HRT.
    moods swings, lack of sex drive, depression and feelings of anxiety can all be side effects of having a hormone imbalance. if your doctor does not want to work with you to get you on them, find another one who will work with you and who really cares about your well being.
    you get bioidentical hormones from compounding pharmacies. they may be able to provide you with a list of doctors who have experience prescribing NHRT.
    good luck and try not to worry, having the right hormone replacement really does make all the difference in the world :)

  • Donna

    Help
    I HAD A Hysterectomy 10 days ago and last night had a few to many wines and had sex(didnt finish and didnt penertrate me completely) im so scared that i have done something wrong to my self please has any one else done this

  • Sherree

    Hi all,
    I had a hysterectomy 8 months ago at the age of 31 due to cancer and am a little concerned about how uncomfortable intercourse is at times. I have not lost any of my sexual drive, it’s still as rampant as ever, but it can be scary to think that there may be something wrong again… I constantly thinking that cancer will pop up somewhere else and I’m not sure if thats the reason I am so cranky all the time or that I’m going through early menopause (still have my ovaries) would appreciate it if anyone that has experienced the same issues could help me out. Thanks.

  • tracyc

    my wife has lost interest in me after her op more than a year ago. it make me want to die. she has lost all drive and dosn’t recognize my drive any more. whatever you do get a secound opinion. I feel doomed to disapointment and don’t want my sex life to end, she on the other hand could care less, and she acts as though she dosn’t know what sex is.

  • normal man

    go to hers.com to get more information. while hysterectomy may work for some, especially if needed to save lives, for many many more it changes lives. my wife had her operation 4-5 years ago. intimacy and sex go out the window over time. ladies do your agressive homework and beware of doctors selling snake oil. young women talked into this unnecessarily will most likely end up with unhappy mates who masterbate for any sex or worse leave for sex with someone else.

  • Chi

    I had the Total Hysterectomy in June. Been a bit of a rough road but in my situation well worth every moment and mood swing. I have gained weight, but am losing it now slowwwwly. Surgery is a major ordeal and we can’t expect ourselves to jump back overnight. Takes some time to recover after you have so much removed and muscles cut on. I anger much faster and easier now, so I have to keep it in check as much as possible. That is a major difference for me (the anger quickly part). Did take premarin till I found out what it was made from and that just turned my stomach completely, going back to Dr to have long talk about that. Havent taken anything in the way of hormones for several weeks now. Dr has been booked up so the wait is aggravating. But I see no difference in myself on it or off it. So maybe it wasn’t working anyway. Who knows. Sex drive was diminished before the surgery due to painful intercourse. And up until this point hadn’t even had the urge to entertain the idea let alone have sex, but that is also slowly changeing. I agree with several people here, do not opt for the surgery unless you are actually in dire need of it. Complications and inconviences do rear their ugly head. Complications being abcesses and blood clots, inconviences being night sweats, mood swings, hot flashes, vaginal dryness and weight gain. These were my problems anyway. But if faced with it again I would do all over. It has made a vast improvement on my life. I am finally no longer in pain.

  • hope?

    I’m 29 and had a partial hyst 6 wks ago.
    I’ve only been married for 7months, so when my doc gave us the all clear we TRIED to resume “normal activity.” It was quite uncomfortable for me and a little painful. Now (too late!) I’m reading a lot of information that doesn’t sound promising. I have 2 questions > 1)does this get better with time? 2)Did anyone’s doctor advise them that this could be the outcome? I did some of my own research before surgery, but it never occured to me to Google “Pain.” Everything and everyone was so positive. And I trusted my doctor to “first do no harm.”

  • normal man

    in answer to #85’s post. for us it started out ok, went into it slow and because i beleive nerve damage was done with my wifes uterus and cervix removal her sex drive nose dived to NONE. she never had high sex drive to begin with. as i posted before we gradually have less and less and now it doesn’t happen anymore, 4-6 times per year after 4 to 5 years. now it is painful for my wife and her vagina is beginning to atrophy, when she is in pain with intercourse it blocks my urge and enjoyment and therefore no sex. in answer to your second question we were told the same as everyone else “oh the sex will be great” my wife jumped on this and i wanted to do more checking but was overruled. since that time i have done extensive research and now understand what has happened to her. she has mounting health issues due to a completely shunted endocrine system. my research has found that women will not share this openly with others, therefore doctors can still rule and “lie” about the facts. the medical establishment should be required to disclose that after ANY hysterectomy operation the long term implications that you have a less than 30 percent chance to expect positive physical results. unless you have life threatening circumstances castration of a women without complete disclosure and legal consent should be made criminal offenses. i’ve found that the sites promoting hysterectomy as a god send to women is written by the medical community. it amounts to trust in our medical system and that is disappearing as people become educated. lastly, if you want to stay healthy keep away from doctors. once you start on the cycle of medical intervention your spiral to poor health begins. just my answers and opinions.

  • Lisa

    Hi,I just had a hysto 2 weeks ago and I am very glad I did, I hated SEX before the surgary and Now I love it my husband said I need to slow down and take it easy but I just cant help it, I feel like I did when I was back in my early 20’s. I had sex early and that was a no no but I had the orgasem and it was great. I think each person is diffrent and not every one is going to feel the same. For me I new this is something I wanted and no one was going to tell me any diffrent, you know your owen body so ther for you souldent go by what other people say good or bad. The way i looked at It sex Hurt so I didnt want it and if after the hysto I couldent enjoy it than I wasnt losing nothing but the pain now I have double the pleasuer no pain and I enjoy sex with my love of my life. God bless all of you and good luck in what you seek.

  • joe

    Hello my name is Joe I’m 46 my wife is 43. My wife had a hyterectomy about 6 months ago.Cervix and overies were left intact. She was not what you would call hot for sex before the surgury. And now she acts like she is not even interseted at all. I do good to get a peck on the cheek or a hug and that is only if I do it first. One of her comments I heard her make a comment to a friend who was getting ready to have the same operation was you can live without it it’s not like it’s a nessisity. So what do I do? Will this be it for our sex life? Or will things change? Is this normal? I’m trying to be understanding. I love my wife but I afraid that our sex life has about had it. Any suggestions

  • normal man

    in response to joe and his questions as i’ve indicated in past posts we now don’t have a sex life. i’m sorry to hear of your wifes disposition over this and i know of your dilema as this is my wife’s attitude as well. (we are mid 50’s) go to “hers.com” for ongoing discussions of womens attitudes over what has happened to them. many women are totally in agony over what has happened to them and fearful of their personal relationship suffering with the husband or boyfriend. while things may seem normal after surgery time is the enemy. we are 5 yrs+ post surgery partial /ovaries left. even if they leave ovaries when they do the removal of the uterus nerve damage is the result, most likely because of poor doctor skill and then if skills are good no guarantee nerves won’t suffer damage anyway. the nerve damage results in only partial or much reduced ovarian function. my wife has no energy, no thyroid function(removed), no desire for social interaction, no feelings for intimacy, NO sex drive,NONE, hot flashes, flare-up tempers, no stamina, backaches, huge weight gain. I live with her because I love her and we’ve been married for nearly 35 years. we still sleep together but she complains about it but won’t let me go into the spare bedroom. we are on the edge of retirement and without her i would not be able to retire(finances)and instead be resigned to work until nearly 70 and she is my best friend. i’ve contemplated affairs (just for sex)but this would be a mental devastating situation for both of us. i would love to give you more positive feedback encouragement but from my experience i can’t. looking back if i had the knowledge now i would have insisted my wife get multiple opinions and if she would have refused i would have divorced her then. at least it would have given me the extra time to try to rebuild my life. it’s not just the sex, if intimacy is removed from marriage it has a slow devastating effect and leads to a more brother/sister type relationship. when i read that these procedures are performed on young women(20’s & 30’s)and they don’t understand the organ functions a very disabling physical and psychological end result occurs. it has the effect of destroying a part of your life.

  • nikki

    I had a hysterectomy 4 weeks ago. Messed up and had sex. The sex was awesome. My question is did I mess up anything down there since I did not wait the full six weeks.

  • Dion

    Has anyone ever had or heard of a cervix transplant? I have had a partial hysterectomy in 2001 for multiple reasons. My husband at the time told me that I may not want to go through with it, because I may find someone in the future when he passes away to have children with. Well, that time has come and I want so bad to give my new husband a child of his own. I wanted to have another child before I turn 40. I am just curious to know if there is such a thing called a cervix transplant? I do have both my ovaries still. Any help would be soooo greatly appreciated.

  • bitethebeef

    For me, there are complex anger issues that come into play.
    Before I met my husband, I had always enjoyed an active sex life. Being unable to achieve orgasm through masturbation, I expected that when I married I would be able to rely on my husband for pleasure. At the start of our relationship, when everything was new and fresh, I tried to set the stage for lots of love and sharing.
    I was the one with the high sex drive. Unfortunately, he was withholding. Even though I didn’t have enough love from him, I always remained faithful. I wanted more children, more sex, more closeness, more conversation, and more say in our relationship. I basically wanted to experience our love to the fullest. He is a very good man, but he treated me badly because he rejected my requests for sex when I was relying on him. I don’t know why he didn’t want me. I took very good care of myself, stayed thin and attractive for him, used excellent hygiene. I cooked, cleaned, treated his family well, rubbed his back, anything he asked of me-I put him first. Maybe I was too forward with him and he thought I was assertive with other men too. It is possible that he didn’t realize that my love for him was special and only for him.
    I used to have many ideas about things we might try. He didn’t want to experiment, so we didn’t. I felt disregarded. His constant rejection hurt me. We had sex when he wanted to, and when he was finished, then the sex act was over. I gave lots of oral sex and it was not reciprocated. I saw one of those talk shows where the host explained that the woman should ask the man to pleasure her because otherwise he would not know what she wanted. I came right out once, told him I was not done yet, and asked if he could help. He helped momentarily but made faces as if he was extremely bored and put out with me. Come to think of it, maybe I wasn’t really enjoying sex that much before the surgery. I would have liked to though, back when there was still the potential for orgasm and enjoyment.
    I feel different now physically. It is not possible for me to have orgasms from sexual intercourse. I really don’t know if it is because of the post surgery pain, or if it is because something inside me died a long time ago or I forgot how to feel pleasure. Intercourse is extremely painful.
    The irony of it all is that before I had the operation, I could never reach orgasm through masturbation-only through intercourse. Now the opposite is true. I have been blessed and given a wonderful gift I had wanted all my life. It is so easy; all I have to do is flex my stomach muscle. I could do it with all my clothes on.
    This is what makes me angry about the whole thing. After the surgery when intercourse was painful and I was no longer able to gain physical enjoyment from him, he began wanting sex and complaining about the lack of it. I think if he had taken care to please me before the surgery, I would have done likewise for him afterwards.
    We could have been having sex, connecting, and showing our love to each other instead of simply existing in the same space for all those years.
    I don’t feel guilty at all for denying sex. He denied me for no reason when things were fresh and new and there was no resentment.
    I had my days of giving sex for nothing in return. Sex is physically painful now. I am not in the mood. Intercourse does nothing for me now. We didn’t build a caring loving sharing relationship with each other prior to the surgery, so there isn’t much for us to build on now. I think we will eventually divorce.
    Obviously, I have mixed feelings about my hysterectomy. I am extremely thankful to be alive after having cancer. When I was told I had cancer, my main priority shifted from my husband and turned to my children. I just wanted them to be raised- Maybe it was God’s way of helping me to quit focusing so much on sex. Now, I can focus on things that are more important.

  • G. W.

    I have had partial hysteectomy 6 months ago. I had to have one because I was suddenly faced with stage 3 cervical cancer. I had 2 biopsies and my doctor “thought he got it all” but that wasn’t good enough for me. I wanted to make sure that it was all gone! Thank GOD I was cured!!!!!
    I asked my gynecologist if there was going to be any differences on my sex life or how it would feel, because he is a man he said he didn’t know about it because he was not a woman!
    I can tell you there is sure a difference in my sex drive, it is not what it used to be. I was a very sexual person but now I feel hardly any stirring at all. Not to mention that when I do have sex, my vagina has been shortened so much that it gets hit alot. That is not a good thing to feel or worry about during sex. I used to be multi orgasmic, now I hardly can get one to come at all! I am glad to be alive don’t get me wrong, I could be dying or dead from that cancer, but I wished I would have been told or had some resources given to me about what might happen after! How I would feel differently as a woman and how differently sex would be. Now I just have to adjust to my new sex life and hope over time it might get better.

  • G.W.

    I have forgoten quite a few other things that wasn’t told to me and that I forgot to put in my last opinion.
    I was only 37 years old at the time when I was diagnosed. I was so scared because I had to go through with the same thing with my mother who have had and beaten cervical cancer but in the end it was VULVULAR CANCER that had killed her. I never knew that there were different cancers that a woman can get on the outside of her vagina!
    The other things that weren’t told to me was the PAIN I WOULD HAVE TO ENDURE AFTER SURGERY!!!!!!
    Not just from the laposcopic vaginal delivery hysterectomy but from the cervical cone biopsy that was done. You definately are aware of your body parts then!!! The agonizing pain, not being able to lay flat in a bed, I had to be propped up with alot of pillows to sleep comfortably. And the discarge also was horrible it went on for 3 weeks.
    Since the doctor checked my ovaries and tubes they were clear of cancer so he left them in. I still experience PMS every month. The only good thing after the hysterectomy was I was cured and that I started early menopause symptoms (night sweats, hot flashes)now it seems they have disappeared after the surgery.
    I wanted to give my expereince so other women that are facing or dealing with cervical cancer that they are not alone, and I wish I stumbled on to this website BEFORE my surgery. But at least I know I’m not the only one going through these problems.
    The other thing I would like to add about lyposcopic hysterectomy is that I have 5 small scars at naval level. If I knew that they were going to be that high I would have oppted for a regular incision because it is way lower near the hairline.

  • ML

    I am so sorry for all of you ladies who have had such a nightmare regarding your hysterectomies.

    I had my Total Hysterectomy when I was 34 yrs. old. 17 yrs ago. OMG, I can’t believe I am saying that. 17 yrs ago! Wow!
    It was the best thing that had happened to me physically and sexually.
    Emotionally is was a horrid situation.

    I had precancerous cells, severe adnomyosis, fibroids, HPV, endomietrosis, sorry about the spelling…and too much ill-regular bleeding… you name it, I had it… etc.

    My sex has never been better! I still have very intense orgasms. My freedom is better, physically and mentally…(Not worrying about pregnancies, etc.) No more painful periods. I love not having the physical pain and enjoying my husband’s love making skills.

    I have been on HRT since my complete hysterectomy. I am blessed that to this day, I do not have breast cancer, nor vaginal cancer.

    Emotionally, as I said above was horrid.
    I never could have children, I have had too many miscarriages. The lost of my ‘female-hood ‘ and what society does to you regarding not having/ or being able to have children and NOT being a complete woman is so sad and pathetic! I wanted children more than anything. I allowed all of that to get the best of me and went into a terrible depression. With counseling and support I was able to get through that period.Fellow women who have had this life changing experience…Please get some help, don’t stifle yourself. You deserve the best! And I think it was only by the grace of my spirituality that I got through it. And I am very grateful for the joy that I recieve each and every day for being alive.

    PS To the Men, please don’t push your woman to making love right after the surgery. Even months after, even 6 months or so after…I know it may be difficult, but patience is a virtue. You can hang in there too. There are different alternatives. :-)

    I wish you all the best in your recovery. Your health is No. 1!! Please don’t forget that. My recovery after my hysterectomy was long…But I am so much better now. Please be gentle with yourself and get some help if need be. Take care.

  • http://gwensstampinfun.typepad.com Gwen Mangelson

    I had a total hysterectomy plus ovary removal in January of 2008. I am glad. Before it I didnt have a lot of sex drive due to my hormone imbalance caused by nonproductive ovaries etc. but Now I have NO sex “drive” at all. It has nothing to do with orgasm ( I can still do that) I am not “dry” nor is there any pain- I just plain dont have the “feelings or drive” to want to have sex- I would love some resourses, I am not a fan of testosterone I am on premarin and feel fine but would like some reading resources on getting the “drive” back and I am sure my hubby would be happy as well!
    thanks

  • normal man

    In response to Gwen’s comment “I am glad”. Wonder what her husband thinks? Before she had low sex drive now she has none. My wife has NO, NONE, GONE sex drive. No positive results can be acheived from this unless a couple doesn’t value an intimate relationship. Ladies and men too, do the research there are no known solutions to getting back lost organ function. When I hear of those who urge patience I wonder how long. Mine is going on 6+ years. Patience is now lost and the relationship is just existing with no feeling. How depressing.

  • Giggles

    I had a laparoscopic hysterectomy in July, 2007. I had Uterine Prolapse and so when my uterus wanted to come out, it was pulling on my bladder and bowels too. I also had cysts on my ovaries. So I had the uterus and ovaries removed, plus had bladder and bowel repair surgery at the same time. I feel better BUT . . I used to be crazy about sex and loved it; after the surgery, Sex,it was excruciatingly painful! OMG! I didn’t know why until I read all your comments. But I am still able to experience orgasms. My husband is very patient and understanding and we are trying to work our way back, slowly but surely, we are trying a number of things. And maybe it will just take some more time. Everyone is different and each has different outcomes. Although Sex is a Plus in a relationship it doesn’t MAKE the relationship. There is much more to it than that. But having support and patience from your partner can mean everything. I know that I made the right decision, but I was not ready for the results that I got, for the SEX part of it. So I will just keep on trying, and keep my faith and be happy just waking up everyday to see Beauty in this world. They don’t call me Giggles for nothing. I am a true Optimist.

  • EHRIN

    i had that before. and i could have sex and i felt really sad.i miss when my boy frien just to put his penuts up my vagina. now i have sex every day and I ENJOY EVERY SECOND OF IT.

  • GT

    Talk to your doctor or a compounding pharmacist about yam-based progesterone as an alternative to the Premarin HRT. It helped me a LOT with pain, mood swings, headache and erratic sex drive. It is also much safer to be on for prolonged periods of time (I have been on it 4-5 years now). Do NOT get it off the shelf from a health food store or Wal-Mart; it is not regulated the way a prescription is so you won’t know what dose you’re getting. (Plus if you have drug coverage, you _want_ a prescription.) I’ve gotten mine from Glebe Apothecary in Ottawa, Canada, and Ford’s Pharmacy in Moncton, Canada. Most cities have a compounding pharmacy but there are also plenty on the internet that you can special order from.

  • Raven

    I have an 8.3 cm fibroid tumor and have discussed with my doctor about having it removed. We have talked yesterday about removing it and also about doing a complete hysterectomy. Doing so will guarantee that another fibroid doesn’t return but from everything I have been reading since I first learned about the fibroid, there are no guarantees my sex life will remain healthy.
    I do not want to loose my sex drive. I enjoy having sex with my husband. I am 46 years old and do not plan for having more children and a lot of women are encouraging me to do a complete hysterectomy. All of the women but one have low sex drives and could care less whether or not they have sex. I’m not that way. My husband and I have a phenomenal sex life and wish to keep it that way. This is one of the reasons why I chose not to do anything about my fibroid tumor nine years ago when I first learned I had it. I don’t have a choice now; it has to be removed but if doing a complete hysterectomy changes how I feel sexually then I just want to have the tumor removed.
    Is there any information out there that lists the chances of a fibroid tumor returning? I would like to know the percentage of women who have had one return after surgery to remove the first.

  • normal man

    To Raven: You are a very smart lady. You and your husband are very smart to research this to no end. Go to (hers.com) for more details. DO NOT TRUST MOST OB/GYN doctors/surgeons. They have ruined my wife, needless to say our intimate relationship. We no longer have a sex life nearly 6 years post op. Also, if you enjoy sex now, beware, you have less than a 30 percent chance after hysterectomy any normal sexual relations will return. There are doctors who will treat the tumors without hysterectomy. A female friend of mine had an abelation for small tumors and irregular bleeding. She has a sex drive in high gear, her hubby gets tired trying to keep up. She also turned down a hysterectomy and is glad she did. There are no known medications, herbs, vitamins, supplements that will return your sexual function to normal after (castration). For the sake of your relationship tell your doctor or doctors you value your life to much to let him take 2/3’s of it away. We didn’t and it’s been a living hell for me and the wife. My wife denies the hysterectomy effects, but she is no longer able to actively enjoy life. Your husband is a lucky guy to have you care so much about this important part of the relationship. Wish I could turn back the clock.

  • Barbara

    HELP! HELP! Has anyone found a way to increase feeling and regain sexual enjoyment?

    I wish I had found this site before I had my Hysterectomy Nov. 06. I had a total hysterectomy including tubes and ovaries. The Hysterectomy has stolen my enjoyment of making love with my husband. I use to have fantastic multiple orgasms, now I can’t feel hardly anything. It’s been almost two years, and I keep hoping it will get better, if anything it is getting less enjoyable.

    I don’t know if the Premerin has anything to do with it. The Dr. wants me off the hormone, I have been cutting back the dosage and only taking it every other day.

    I am so angry with my Dr. for not explaining possible consequences and to find out that about 70% of women have complications is outrageous. I also wonder why all the women I asked that I knew had had Hysterectomies told me it was the best thing they ever did.

    It’s all I think about wishing I could go back in time and make a different choice. It could be worse if I had dryness and pain. I feel very sorry for the women experiencing those problems as well. My mind is willing but my body is not responding.

    Just like Bev #41. Previously multi-orgasmic, strong uterine contractions, overwhelming climaxes. Now… the desire is in my head… but the body does not follow. Following our reasonable effort to stimulate, the climax is hard to achieve and very little at best. Perhaps 5% feeling and release of what I used to have. I am very saddened by this surgery outcome. I hope things improve as the months pass.

    I totally agree with Jodi #18. I can understand if a woman was in a Lot of pain before a hysterectomy, sex would naturally be better. But I was not in That kind of pain and I lost the wonderful uterine contractions that I had. Sexual feeling definitely went down hill. Sex basically feel like a “blip” right now. I also feel more depressed and empty that I can possibly ever say. Why don’t doctors tell you this? Maybe going on HRT will change some of this – Please God.

    Please, Please, Please unless it really seems like a life-threatening situation – Think it over

    Ree Ree # 21… DO NOT DO THE PROCEDURE DO NOT DO IT ! PLEASE YOU CANT BELIEVE HOW COMPLICATED THIS SURGERY AND THE AFTER EFFECTS ARE HORRIBLE DO NOT DO IT PLEASE…

    IF YOU WANT TO SCREW UP YOUR SEX LIFE, THIS IS A WAY TO DO IT. IT IS NOT WORTH IT.!!! YOU CAN GET THE FIBROID REMOVED ANOTHER WAY AND PRESERVE THE UTERUS!!! THE UTERUS IS WHERE IT IS AT DURING SEX! CAN YOU GROW ANOTHER UTERUS!!! IT IS AN ORGAN! CAN YOU GET A UTERUS TRANSPLANT?!! HELLO!! I WISH I NEVER DID IT AND THE SURGEON WHO DID IT DID A GREAT JOB BUT DID NOT TELL ME THAT MY SEX LIFE WOULD BE SEVERELY AFFECTED… IF YOU DON’T NEED IT THEN DON’T HAVE IT DONE.

  • Caroline

    I had my Op in 2006 and I enjoy it more than before I am always wet especially when I thnk about Sex . Please ladies try to relax and stop panic

  • uk

    i think alot of comments being made here are alarmist,just down right perv,and shows alot of ignorance of some on here
    i’, having a hst soon and cant wait and i know my husband will love me regardless

  • Lynn D.

    I had a hysterectomy in August 2004 because of the presence of fibroid tumors. They grew to the size of a 16-wk old fetus. I also had painful periods, very heavy bleeding, anemia. I did a lot of research, including on my dr.’s experience and credentials. I am now 46 yrs old. For me, it was the best decision I have ever made. However, I can’t speak on the sex life because I am now divorced and celibate since ’04. All I can say is that I didn’t have any dryness when I had sex with my husband after the surgery. Regarding the inability of having a vaginal orgasm, I had never had an orgasm through sex anyway so if I never have one I wouldn’t know what I missed. I’ve only had them through oral sex and manual manipulation. I didn’t feel any difference after the surgery in terms of my sex drive, which was normal. I couldn’t wait until the 6 weeks was over. My husband and I did have oral sex during the 6-week period since we were newlyweds, even in the hospital room briefly when the nurse wasn’t in the room. He started to feel sleepy afterwards because the pain killers from my system got in his. (sorry too much information, lol)

    I do feel cheated sometimes now that I’m divorced and do not have to use birth control, no periods or excruciating cramps, I’m feeling good about myself, child away in college, and do not have a husband to share my life with. Unlike some women, I haven’t gained an extraaordinary amount of weight, still have a sex drive but just choose to concentrate on other things right now. If you or someone you know is considering a hysterectomy, I can only speak from my own experience. I feel the same as I did before the surgery — minus the cramps and other medical problems. (Honestly I can say that my hair on my right side is thinner but I’m taking hair vitamins for that.) Since it is a major surgery, I would suggest that you consider all of your surgical or non-surgical options because everyone’s situation is different. I had an awesome doctor who was patient with me and had lots of experience in performing this kind of surgery. I’d recommend her to anyone who was considering one.

  • Lynn D.

    Just wanted to add that I still have my ovaries and cervix. A friend of mine also had fibroids but she waited and waited until they grew quite large. Because of the size of her fibroids, they had to cut her vertically instead of the bikini cut. And her dr. removed her cervix (and ovaries) so that she won’t have to worry about getting cervical cancer.

  • normal man

    I’ve been away for awhile and just read the recent post by UK which was posted in early Oct. I agree with only one thing she said. I do still love my wife, only it is very different now. Our marriage went sexless…none..none, so how should a husband feel. My wife ridiculed me when I questioned the procedure and indicated it could possibly have adverse sexual effects. The doctor laughed and said it would be great! If I’m an alarmist or perverted, sorry. I didn’t think that at 51 our sex life would end. IT DID. If you castrate a man he loses sexual desire, same with a woman. Most doctors who perform these surgeries are in it for the money and lack compasion for patient caring. Hopefully you won’t suffer, but its a game of roulette.

  • Sherrie

    I’m 46 and had a hysterctomy in 2007. I am single, no children, and didn’t want to do this if at all possible. I waited for nine years before going through with this. I had an ovarian cyst w/3 lbs of fluid in it, tons of fibroids, the other ovary was messed up too, and my periods started to remind me of car accident scenes. The month before my surgery I had THREE massive periods. It was gross. I had a great surgeon who specialized in cancer (which I did not have) and difficult surgeries. I was not in pain, just a lot of discomfort from all the junk inside of me. So I waited the six weeks after the surgery to see if I was going to suffer from vaginal dryness, ha ha. It was SO not the case! Going on nearly two years, and I am able to reach orgasm SO much easier (and quicker) and they are just as intense, if not more so. By the way, I read Dr.Oz’s book You, The Patient and peppered my doctors with all kinds of questions. I thought I would miss my menstrual cycle but I don’t, and now I know why other women said I wouldn’t miss it! I don’t advocate having a hysterectomy unless FULLY INFORMED, and you have PEACE about it. Vet your doctors, don’t settle for anybody, and don’t ALLOW your husband or family to pressure you. Just my two cents!

  • Sherrie

    I also have a vertical scar but I got over it…the staples made more of a mark than the scalpel did! I did not put anything on it (per doctors’ orders) and after a few months started rubbing Royal Jelly Milk Balm on it, which is the greatest stuff for skin healing. Good luck!

  • mare

    can a women still get a yeast infection after a hysterectomy?

  • Laura

    I just had a vaginal hyst on the 15th of this month, nothing like I thought it was going to be. I am only 27, I have 2 kids which is all I ever wanted, so this was pretty much a gift. I mean considering I had my tubes tied right after my daughter was born, I was 22, and still had to take birth control. The dr didn’t just go in and agree to it, but there were other problems too. Anyways, I have got to say that it has been what like 2 weeks since my surgery and holy cow, all I think about is getting laid… I have behaved myself simply because the Dr stressed the no sex thing for 6-8 weeks. I guess it is a chance situation, just don’t go in thinking that its going to be one way or another

  • Pain free

    I am 36 and I had full hysterectomy 12 months ago.My sex life before was great……after surgery took 4,5 months and finally got better after I started using Vivelle dot patch twice a week.I don’t think I’ll have the same sex life tha I had before but this patch is helping me a lot.I just started doing exercise 4 weeks ago and lost 7 pounds so far.

  • Diane

    It’s like that song of the rolling stones after a total hysteromy; “I can’t get no satisifaction.”
    You want to keep your husband happy, but feel a bit resentful because it is all give and no get. It is extremely frustrating to say the least. I suppose bio-identical hormones cost an arm & a leg, but I’m going to look into it anyway. I wish all you ladies out there with the same problem all the best. Don’t give up.

  • shena

    I had a hysterectomy Jan. 09. My doctor didn’t explain to me then and denies it now, how a woman has uterine contractions and when you take her uterus the contractions stop. My sex life is ruined! I wish I wouldn’t have done this.

  • LISA

    I HAD AN HYSTERECTOMY 2 YEARS AGO ,IAM ONLY 41YEARS OLD AND I TELL YOU IT WAS THE WORST DECISION I EVER MADE.IAM DRY ALL THE TIME,HOT FLASHES../*WHICH MY HUSBAND HATES,COLD THEN HOT*/ PLEASE DONT MAKE THIS DECISION I HADE EVERY THING TAKING OUT. MY HUSBAND S MISERABLE BECAUSE IAM NEVER IN THE MOOD,IM DRY,DURING ORAL SEX HE CANT GET INTO IN ANYMORE BECAUSE THERE IS NO TASTE….PLEASE,PLEASE,PLEASE DONT MAKE THIS DECISION BECAUSE YOU WILL LOSE EVERYTHING …IAM AFARID ALL THE TIME THAT MY HUSBAND WILL LEAVE OR EVEN HAVE AN AFFAIR BECAUSE OF MY LOST OF INSTERED EVEN TO WE HAVE BEEN MARRIED FOR 16 YEARS.

  • Richele

    I am 40 years old and have had female problems since I started having my period. Heavy bleeding, cramping, month long periods etc. I was blessed with twins and since their birth six years ago my problems have increased. I had an ablation, a tubal, and d & c to no avail. The next step a total hysterectomy. I went on with all the facts and a positive frame of mind. My uterus gave meroblems my whole life. to eliminate the problem sounded wonderful. Recovery was slow and sometimes painful but no different than my c-section. And it has been wonderful since. No decrease in my sex drive–in fact I feel better than I have in years and find myself a more willing partner and more frequently. I don’t feel I lost my womanhood or anything like that. I feel Great-no pain-no bleeding-no cramps–this is a great time for me feeling so well. The better I feel the better mom and wife I am. Think positive–it works.

  • Shells

    I had a radical hysterectomy 6 weeks ago – i had no choice as i had stage 1 uterine cancer. My surgeon advised it was best to remove everything – uterus, cervix, tubes and ovaries – which turned out to be the best decision ever – as the cancer had spread to one of my ovaries! My recovery has been pretty good considering, however i have put on 7 kilos since surgery! Im not sure if this is due to be inactive for the 6 weeks or if it is due to some kind of hormonal imbalance?

  • VH

    I am 26 and had a hysterectome 20 days ago. I have never felt better! I couldn’t wait and had sex with my husband. Before surgery, sex was painful, dry and periods were terrible. I was always anemic and would go through tampons like crazy! I am sooo thankful to have had it done. I do feel a bit emotional at times but sex is good, I am not dry anymore and I feel really great. I think it really depends on you.

  • Pauline

    I am 43 and had a partial hysterectomy and bladder suspension in May. He removed my uterus and lifted my cervix. I have prolapse of the cervix again and the doc says this time he’ll have to remove my cerix. I’m worried about how this will affect my sex drive/ability to orgasm. Are there other options? Will I still enjoy sex. I always have but since my surgery it seems that things are worse. My husband is the salt of the earth and I know this is becoming a problem between us. Need some good advise. Thanks.

  • Julie

    I had a full hysterectomy 6mths ago and have lost all my sex drive its zero im just not interested. I love my husband very much an we are in love im worried he migh leave me if things dont improve….

  • Stephanie

    Hi, i had a hysterectomy april 2008. I was not sure of the decission and turns out i should not of had it.I was alwways happy with the tight and lubricated feeling. I still have sexual desire and care about sex a great deal. Sex did hurt in the first 6 to 9 months after. But going slow being very comfortable with your partner eases this problem.For a brief time sex was awesome, almost back to normal. Now sex feels odd as if i am doing it for no reason, like i said i still want it and get very turned on but i feel almost nothing inside, yet i feel everything on the outside to just inside the vagina. Before the surgery i would be extremly wet, have lots of orgasm’s, and just lubrication every where. But now i do not have orgasm’s or any clitorial wetness. I worry my partner is not satisfied with the lack of orgasm and external wetness. My partner thinks i am still sexy and nothing is different inside. I want to know if the men feel anything or enjoy the sex.

  • http://blogcritics.org anonymous

    My wife is 32 and I am 40. She was diagnosed with female cancer by her physician and had full hysterectomy in June 09 and nearly died during surgery due to surgical mishaps. It now turns out that it could have been miss-diagnosed and not necessary at all. She is now with a different physician and we are consulting legal advisory. Before the surgery, my wife had great self-esteem but was modest and we had a very active enjoyable sex life. It has now been 5 months since the surgery and my wife has not been the same. It breaks my heart and I have slipt into a deep depression. She has no interest in me or in intimacy with me of any type, shape or form. For those of you women out there considering hysterectomy, I would strongly suggest to get a second and even a third opinion and to only consider it if you have cancer or if medically necessary. For no other reason would I ever recommend hysterectomy. I can only hope and pray someday soon the interest and sex drive in my relationship with my wife will return for her and she will enjoy it. For those husbands and significant others who may be out there dealing with the same issue that I am dealing with; my prayers go out to you and there should be a support group for spouces dealing with this type of situation.

  • nik

    “The quality of a woman’s sexuality before and after hysterectomy is likely to be influenced by many of these factors. Psychosocial factors that contribute positively to sexual function include a healthy relationship with a partner, good general health of both partners, freedom from severe life stresses, and absence of financial worry. If one or more of these positive factors is negatively affected, it might disrupt sexual functioning.”
    So in other words they’re saying “IT’S ALL IN YOUR HEAD YOU SILLY WOMEN!!!”
    If a doctor has to cut off one of your legs does s/he say you’ll walk better after the operation?

  • Stephanie

    I am 33 years old and I had a hysterectomy (kept ovaries) almost 6 weeks ago. I had been in HORRID pain and bleeding VERY heavily (many trips to the ER) for 5 years. I had severe endometreosis and adenomyosis. I think what is important to understand is that EVERYONE IS DIFFERENT. Where some women regret it, some women don’t, and although looking at comments and reading about and/or talking to other people about their experiences is important, you have to remember that this is about YOU and your situation is unique. It is not a surgery to go into lightly AT ALL, but you have to make the decision that is right for YOU! Get all the information and knowledge you can, and ask yourself in the worst case scenario, can you deal with it if it happens?

    Personally, I have had a fairly good recovery. Lots of pain the first few weeks and VERY tired (still get tired more easily, but getting better every day), but good overall. My husband and I knew we were finished having kids 4 years ago and he had a vasectomy, but the sense of loss still came after my womb was removed. I had lots of people to talk to and help me through it. I think having supporting and encouraging people around you is of the utmost importance! I think it is important to talk about how you are feeling, good or bad.

    And also, PERSONALLY, I am counting the days until I get the okay from my doctor for my husband and I to have sex again. I am nervous at the same time, however, both about it feeling different for him and for it hurting me, but we talk to each other about it and know that we can deal with whatever comes, when and if it comes and that we need to be careful and take our time the first time. My sex drive has been very high the last two weeks, but it is important to wait to get your doctor’s okay! It is a extremely frustrating waiting for me, though. I am very blessed to have a wonderful marriage and supportive husband. My sex drive is HIGH now, but yes, it may die down in a while, but we are aware of the possibility.

    My advice would be to gain all the knowledge you can, talk to as many people who have had it done as you can and then make the decision that is right for you. It is NOT EASY to get through it, but you can get through it. Blessings to all.

  • Mike

    My wife had a hysterectomy a week and a half ago and we would like to know if masterbastion is okay to do at this time since intercourse is not possible.

  • Darian

    My wife had a partial hysterectomy and our sex life went straight down the toilet. I have been told that she is no longer interested and sex disgust her. Before the surgery, she was diagnosed with fibroids witch caused her massive pain..She also breaks out in massive hot flashes Wich the doctor said would eventually stop, however they havent. PLEASEEEEE….FIND ANOTHER ALTERNATIVE!!! The damage this procedure causes to ur body and relationship may not be worth it! I am a young man and so is my wife. I habe a very high sex drive and this has caused a terrible strain on our relationship! I love her soo much but the sexual urge is no longer there from her and I find myself alone and. Looking for sexual fulfillment in other places

  • Alicia

    I am 30 years old, had a hysterectomy last year due to problems with enometrosis. I had a complete hysterectomy. My libido has increased dramatically. I feel better than I ever did when before the hysterectomy, I didn’t want sex much because I was in a lot of pain with the endometriosis. I took the HRT for a few months after my hysterectomy, which seemed to lower my libido a little, but I am not on any HRT now, and am still doing great and my sexual desire is up there. For me, and remembering I’m young and praise to GOD that I have had all of the children I want feel better than ever. Having a hysterectomy was a blessing to me. Asked my husband if he can feel any difference during intercourse since I’ve had a hysterectomy and with my cervix out and he said no, so that was one concern I had for awhile. And I still have an orgasm during sex.

  • Bob

    Hysterectomy ended the sex in my marriage. It’s been 4 years now. Total lack of desire on my wife’s part. She went from regular multiple orgasms before-hand to complete disinterest. She was 45 and thought this medical procedure would eliminate so many of her problems. It didn’t. Now she thinks we should get a divorce because she can’t feel any deep affection or intimacy anymore. She wants nothing to do with sex or men and feels bad about it. She tells me I should divorce her and find a woman who can be affection and intimate with me because I ‘deserve’ that. I don’t think she understands how the hysterectomy is a factor, and I think she feels guilt because she insisted on the operation. We’re two people living in the same house, but we’re not a couple, not even figuratively speaking. I love her but I know we have decades of celibacy ahead in our lives, and I don’t believe that will change. I don’t want to get a divorce just to have sex, and my wife is so disinterested in sex now that she doesn’t want to try anything, she won’t talk to her doctor (who tried to discourage the hysterectomy in the first place), or seek counselling.

    Unintended consequences. This is a serious operation and can change your life forever.

  • Kimberly

    I had a hysterectomy about five months ago and OMG I didn’t think I could cum so many times in a night I cum 8 times tonight and my husband just can’t keep up.
    This is great.. he Aldo says my jj is smaller too..
    No more pain or bleeding and tons of cumin lmao and I’m lovin it!!!’
    the big O so many times..

  • shena

    Nik I don’t agree with your statement and I think it makes fun of women who are having real problems after a hysterectomy.
    I don’t have any of the problems you listed and I do have orgasm problems since my hysterectomy. My surgery was over a year ago and I have problems because of the hysterectomy not because of my mind. My mind is still very sexual and positive.
    Having a hysterectomy has caused me to have menopause symptoms at 39, need estrogen patches, no orgasm, leak urine and more. It is a shame that doctors and other women are not willing to acknowledge that there is a real problem. Doctors are even slapping women on mental medication when they can’t find a reason for there issues. When a man has ejaculation or orgasm problems do they get whacko pills? No they get to the bottom of it! They have all kinds of medications for men.
    Doctors tell all women sex will be the same or better and that is not true for everyone.They don’t tell you that you ovaries can stop working either short term or long term after a hysterectomy..they don’t tell you about all the symptoms of menopause like joint pain or no libido or frequent UTI’s. There is a link between divorce and hysterectomies…many men leave their wives afterwards because of sex issues.
    I had a female ob/gyn tell me it was all in my head..that I had post hysterectomy depression.If I would have listened to her I would never have found out what the real problem was. Well my male ob/gyn disagrees he calls it nerve damage..they cut your nerves during surgery..it effects my bladder, orgasms. This can happen to anyone!
    My advice to anyone is educate yourself so you know what can happen. Surf the web, ask questions, read. Don’t just take your doctors word..don’t end up having regrets once things go wrong.Realize there are other treatments for your illness. Get a second or third opinion. Consider your husbands opinion. Make the best choice you can for you.
    I wish it were in my head at least then I could do something about it. There is no cure for nerve damage.
    Good luck to all.

  • Dee

    I’m 19 and just found out I have to have a hysterectomy due to complications from having my daughter. I was just woundering does it make you feel any different about life in general?

  • anthony

    I am 51 and wife, 47. She had hysterectomy 15 years ago. Sex was great when she used HRT, but there were bad side effects. we had to change how we do it. It takes 30 minutes foreplay to ger her anywhere near orgasm, Often it does not come even after longer than that and she gets frustrated. Well, i did say ‘for better or for worse.

  • MeMe

    I can attest my libido has gone through the roof after my emergency hysterectomy 7 months ago. I don’t know if the increase has to do with turning 35 or if it’s a result of the surgery. All I know is I understand the sexual frustrations a guy feels for the first time in my life.

  • Lisa

    Dee,
    Having gone through the same thing you have, except my baby didn’t make it, I can honestly attest that I actually physically feel better then I ever have. I had painful periods with extremely heavy bleeding my entire adult life and now I don’t have to suffer through that anymore. My sex drive has increased for some strange reason and my husband and I have more pleasure now then we did before. Once the obvious sadness from having a hysterectomy passed, my physical well being had never been better. I hope that helps and I wish you much peace and love.

  • normal man

    I’m going into my 4th celibate year, sex ended at 53. My wife laughs at me now whenever I try to become intimate. She has developed severe health problems in the last 12 months. She has osteoporosis, chronic back pain, lack of energy, extreme weight gain, her mood has lightened after nearly 3 years of ongoing menoapause symtoms. A lot has happened in the 7 years post op. It all went downhill fast….no sex, no intimacy, no desire, my wife even treats other family members crappy. A friend of our family had a hysterectomy about 1 1/2 years ago. My wife told her it was no big deal. They divorced a couple of months ago. Her husband confided in me, his statement still sticks in my mind. What the hell happened! I tryed to tell him it wouldn’t have a very good outcome. He confided in me, they had sex one time after she had surgery!

  • CJ

    I am going to have a total hys in about 2 weeks I am very confused my doctor tells me i will feel a hundred percent better. but after reading some of these Im not so sure. I just know I cant stand the pain I go through every month. I am worried about tht loss of sex drive I have been married for 29 yrs and after 4 children we have just re-discoverd each other and have started a new love life that we didnt have time for before or were just to tired. So I am scared all that will change. I am very nervous about this surgery.

  • normal man

    To CJ, go to hers.com and get the real facts. Had I known the hell it would have created I would have screamed loudly over the lies her doctor said. Sex was OK for about 1 to 1.5 years after, although dropping off rapidly. Now as I say I lead a celibate life. Less than a 50% chance things remain good. Your age is typical, OB/GYN’s make between 5K to 7K from this surgery. There are alternatives to Hyst. and simple research shows this. Your doctor may be right, but if you are not in menopause a total will throw you there, immediately. My wife entered menopause about 1 year after her partial,(got worse over time) she still has repeated problems 7 years later, doctors can’t regulate her medications at all, changes every 4 to 6 months. Get 2,3,or 4 different opinions and don’t just jump into it without feeling compfortable.

  • Happy Hyst

    I have had a total hysterectomy and was very worried about the after affects. Shortly after the surgery, I went to a doctor that did bio-identical hormone replacement implants, which include testosterone and estrogen. I have never had this level of sex drive, even when we were first married. I feel like I need to give my husband a break! If you are having problems with libido, I would recommend checking out the program that I am participating in, it is called SottoPelle. It has worked great for me and many other women in my same circumstance that I know. Good luck to you all!!!

  • d j henley

    so sorry to read these sad posts.I am just over 6 weeks post op after having a TAH whilst retaining my ovaries.I am 44 years old.I feel great. No more periods.Haven’t managed to get intimate with my husband yet as i still have a very sore tum but am dreaming about the day and have the desires. I had my cervix removed and glad because i won’t have to have any more smears and totally liberated from periods hooray.Put on a bit of weight but once i feel confident to be able to exercise,i will get fit and slim again.My life is just beginning again after 4 years of misery. I hope this gives hope to people thinking about having a hysterectomy and i give my good luck to all who have had a bad experience and hope you feel better soon.

  • wt

    8 week out…had complications of bleeding after surgery so couldn’t have sex til then…wished i wouldn’t have!!!! I wanted it and loved it, even multiple orgasms but the pain that I have now is so severe that I can’t stand it…seeing the doctor to do I hope that there is nothing wrong…..Is this normal???

  • Jimmy

    Desperate

    My wife had a total hysterectomy around three years ago. She has no desire to have sex. Had sex one time in three years. I do not want sex from anybody else. I love my wife but I want to try and make our sexual life work again but all she does is say no! Any possible suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

  • Jimmy

    After reading alot of these posts how do the husbands deal with not having sex.
    Somebody to talk with! Why do women not care about we think in this siutation!

  • daniels,t

    I HAD AN PARTIAL HYSTERECTOMY 8 YEARS AGO,I WAS BECAUSE OF MEDICAL CONDITIONS THAT COULDNT B FIX WITHOUT SURGERY,ONLY REGRETS I HAVE IS NOT BEEN ABLE 2 HAVE MORE CHILDREN BUT I THINK ABOUT GRANDCHILDREN AND THAT SEEMS 2 GET ME OUT OF DEPRESSION.IAM NOW GOING THRU THE EARLY STAGES OF MENOPAUSE…AND ITS VERY HARD 2 ACCEPT IT…

  • Anonymous

    Ladies, I had a Complete Hystorectomy in 1998….and my sex life only gets better. I was not able to enjoy sex before my surgery, I was always in pain….now I actually enjoy my life along with the pleasures of sex.

  • Deb

    I am 52 and had my last period one year ago. I have fibroids most of which have been shrinking but one keeps increasing in size. My doctor has me scheduled for a hyst in 2 weeks. Now after talking to a variety of women and reading these posts I am so afraid of losing my sex drive. I was in a lovelss marriage for 15 years and now I finally have a wonderful partner and satisfying sex life. I am so afraid of losing that now. It seems like other women’s experiences are split 50/50. It could go either way. I feel so confused now. Has anyone ever heard of fibroids growing after menopause? I also have problems with my bladder always feeling full and being unable to make it to the bathroom when I first wake up in the morning. I cannot get the urge to have a bowel movement unless my bladder is full. Any advice would be appreciated.

  • bruce husband

    My wife had a hysterectomy about 2 yrs ago and she now has absolutly no libito what so ever. She can hardly stand me hugging her or anything intimate. I can live with out sex, I just dont know if I can get along without affection. Very frustrated. No one ever told me she would have no sex drive. I think after 12 loving years our marriage has run its course. I dont think it has to be this way but there is no bond between us anymore.This F**king surgery ruined our marriage.Its not the lack of sex that is ruining it. It is the lack of anything intimate or affectionate. I am so lonely. I dont think she could give a crap if I left or not. If you are considering this surgery dont do it unless it will save your life!!!

  • georgeanne

    I had a full hysterectomy 7 months ago. before the hyst. sex was great, i took penestration like a champ and enjoyed all of it. Now I am truly worried that i will not enjoy that part of love. It is very painful and i have to stop. and i have bleeding. Will this go away, will things get better. I hope someone can give me good news. thanks.

  • lovingsex

    i had a hysterectomy 3 weeks ago i was afraid that my sex drive would lessen because im very sexual..however to date i want it more i think about it continually now..i still cant have full intercourse as of yet even though i have tried i still have stitches acording to the doc..but as for the wanting its thru the roof..each woman is different ..even though im on hormone replacement nothing about me has changed..try talking to your woman with a loving voice and listen to her maybe you can get her to change her mind take it slow and arouse her fully and center on her totally without haveing her worry about you a few times…try it..make it all about her

  • Rose

    Biggest mistake of my life. Hyst done in 1995 for 2 cm fibroid THOUGHT to be the cause of my flooding. It wasn’t. 10 years later prolapse of small intestine into rectovaginal septum. Mistaken on image test for internal prolapse of sigmoid colon. Sigmoid removed and other prolapses “fixed” that I did not have (by money greedy surgeons). Small and large intestine scarred shut due to too much surgery. Almost died. Finally got saved by lysis of adhesions and permanent ileostomy. No clitoral stimulation due to nerve injury incurred during the unneeded sigmoid colon resection. Am suing, but no money will bring me back. Hyst…do NOT do it unless you have cancer. Rose

  • JT

    When I was 21 I was fortunate enough to have a lover who was 44 who had had a hysterectomy. It didn’t affect her sex life in any way shape or form. Very passionate and very…responsive.

  • Gary

    Well Im the ex husband now my wife of 18 years and together for 20 is not the same and never will be with out the HRT mood swings etc. Divorce has nearly destroyed me deeply loved the woman became some one totaly different after surgery! The love

  • Melissa

    Hello everyone. I just had a total hysterectomy on May 6th, 2010 and I know that it has only been a week, but I tend to agree with the women who say that their libido has increased dramatically. My husband and I had an extremely healthy sex life prior to my surgery. So, I don’t feel that my surgery is going to have a major impact on our sex life. I think that it is really important to have an understanding and compassionate partner. Don’t be afraid to talk to your partner about how you are feeling when the time comes that you can have intercourse again. Being able to talk to my husband about what I was going through before the surgery helped me to prepare for the surgery itself. He has been extremely supportive and caring toward me and seemed to ask more questions of the doctors than I did. So, don’t get discouraged ladies!!!!! To the women who have depression problems, I too suffer from severe depression and have for a few years now. It affected my sex drive tremendously until I came upon a WONDERFUL little cream called EX-SCREAM!!!! It is a female heightener that helps to increase a woman’s sex drive. It is applied to the clitorial area and it causes increased blood flow to all the right areas!!!! I am a loyal customer of Pure Romance due to that exciting little find! So, I say again ladies…don’t get discouraged and remember that you are still capable of being sexy and turning your man’s head!!!

  • Polly Esther

    It would be hugely helpful if people would include whether the woman’s ovaries were removed as well? I’m wondering if that is what has made the difference in some of these cases. I’m having a horrible time my mood swings are just horrendous, I have multiple health problems along with a prolapsed uterus and as far as I’m concerned I could care less if they take out the whole works.
    I have talked to many women friends about this and the over whelming report was to DO IT. Many of them said they wished they wouldn’t have waited so long.

    I’m wondering if the loss of sex drive in some of these women isn’t evidence of marital problems to begin with.

  • Davina

    I am 29 and I had a radical Hysterectomy 3 weeks ago, we were told to wait 6 weeks before having sex.. Well I have not wanted sex more! A week after the surgery I felt amazing, I had been in pain for almost 18years. And the last two years it has been very painful during intercourse but I wanted to be with my husband anyways. Well I know I am going to get scolded, but we just had sex like 5 minutes ago.. and it was amazing, he was gentle and I cried afterwards because I couldn’t remember the last time if felt that good. I was looking online to see how much trouble I was in when I found this thread. I am not against Hystos.. I had severe endometriosis, Pcos and Adenomyosis. I know I should have waited 3 more weeks,I hope nothing bad happens, but I am on cloud nine right now :)

  • Sandy

    I had a hysterectomy with ovary removal 2 weeks ago. I am doing great and have had no hot flashes etc and I still seem to have my sex drive.I cant have sex for 6 weeks after surgery but the need is still there. My doctor told me that if I dont have any hot flashes by my next appy June 7, 2010 I probably wont need to go on HRT. I dont think I will go on it anyway due to so many risks taking HRT. I am doing great and am no longer on pain meds but I cant drive for 3 weeks after surgery.

  • Shirley

    Hello everyone I’ve read everyone comment on having a hysterectomy and as for me i have had a complete hysterectomy and i have a mean sex drive now i am 42 years old and i hade mines done in 2007 and I’ve never told my husband that i had this done because mans have this thing about after you have a hysterectomy they can’t feel anything and that’s not true because to this day my husband still doesn’t know and he think the sex is great all the time.but the only thing with me now that I’ve realize that i don’t get an orgasm but its good to him and to me it’s like i need to get wet.but!!! it’s really not a bad thing if thats what you want to do but whatefer decision you make pray about it.and make sure its your decision,cause to me it was like the best thing I’ve could’ve done anything to not have a cycle again and to know cramping and being tired all the time with little energy,but to each its own but i am glad i made the choice I love it if i had know when i was 27 years old i would’ve done it then.3 of my family members have done it and my best friend and we all agree that it was an excellent choice,I love sex and still have it all the time and its good minus the orgasm but its still good with some lubrication.so to all of you ladies that have being giving a raw deal or bad expierence,you’ll have my condolences,and to the one whom are considering it i think you should go for it,only if its a health issue but there r other options,but i don’t regret having mines done at all and to shannon go for it girl its you health.let go and let God.And to Kara go for it girl i promise you that your husband won’t know the different unless you tell him its all good if your sex is great now its going to be even better because you can always give him sex without waiting for a certain time of the month,i stay ready.and to everyone else at the end of the day just enjoy life to the fullest cause life is precious Laugh,Love,and Live always God Bless you all

  • joe

    my wife had a hysterectomy about 5 years ago and before that we were having sex at least 4 times a week sometimes 2 times a day it was great and we were happy but it was like night and day after the hysterectomy sex is virtually non existant i tried everything movies, toys , kissing and holding ,talking about it but it never changes it is always tomorrow we will and it doesn t happen and if it does it doesnt feel the same like its a chore for her to do it i dont know what to do i dont want the rest of my life to be without sex it just sucks and i am at the end of my rope she doesn t seem to think about it at all just lets herself go i am soooo sad and upset we need help or i fear it will be over soon (without sex in a relationship it will fall apart its like the mortar that holds the building of a relationship together without it it will fall apart)HELP

  • normal man

    The more recent posts from the men are haunting stories of my present life. A couple of guys have asked how you deal without sex. Let me tell you, mother thumb and her four sisters save my sanity, and preserve prostate health. Otherwise, just dream of the past and move on with life. If your drive is just too much to overcome, get a divorce. Divorce, friend with benefits, or living with it. Those are the options. I’d like to castrate my wifes ob/gyn who did this, thats what he did to my wife.

  • AC

    I had a vaginal hysterectomy due to multiple factors (uterine abnormality, cancer, bleeding, high risk pregnancies, and pain. I am 27 and I have two beautiful children. I feel that I would have had to have had a hysterectomy one day anyways. I do feel it was necessary and I look forward to many healthy years with my family.

    In regards to sex, I’ve heard some say it is better and others not. I believe the women who say that sex is better after the hysterectomy it is b/c they had some sort of problem that hindered their satisfaction. If sex is not good before the hysterectomy–most likely it will improve.

    On the other hand, sex is worse for me now after the hysterectomy. Sex was great and mindblowing before. I had a huge sex drive and loved every minute of it! Hindsight, I had orgasms with uterine contractions and cervical stimulation. Now, sex is pleasurable, but orgasms is diminished. It is like the orgasm is stuck on floor five and won’t move to floor 10.

    If you want to know if you are one that has uterine orgasms. Ask yourself: Do I feel muscle contractions during orgasm? Can I have an orgasm without clitoral stimulation? If your answer is yes to those questions then your sex life will probably be less satisfying.

    With that said, I still enjoy sex. Every other area of my life is better! I am pain free! Period free! Cancer free! I have a life to enjoy and I will enjoy it.

    If you are reading this and considering a hysterectomy–I would only have the hysterectomy if cancer is one of your variables involved in your decision. Please look into alternatives if cancer is not part of your equation.

  • JW

    I have had my ovaries and uteris butchered. Don’t do it – it has left me empty in every way. There are other ways for my complaint which was endiometriosis and fibroids. Trawal the web, get a third or fourth opinion. It affects your mind, your maternal feelings, your sexual feelings and your physical body. If cancer is not your complaint, dont do it.

  • Debbie

    I had my hysterectomy in 06, I was so scared they took it all. I felt like I was not a woman anymore. I did to many books on it and hormone treatments.
    At first I lost my mind, Dr put me on some meds for depression. Then after I was healed and all my sex drive was better than ever, I did learn that jells was my best friend now. But after the time has pasted, now I have found that I am losing feeling there. Takes forever if at all to feel. Many woman I know my age said that is just life and hormones. So at 52 does my sex life end?
    There has to be a better way?

  • Steve

    My wife and I have been married for over 20 years. I love her dearly but we have been through hell and back. Then when all was good she had a complete Hysterectomy. I never knew it could get worse. It is very sad as we are best friends and love each other dearly. Although I am true to my wife I feel weak for not being able to control my sex drive. I feel shame and embarrassment and she feels horrible. She has tried Bio Identical therapy but that really has not helped. We both went to our family doctor together and asked if there was anything else that could be done for us to lower my drive. He offered no assistance and turned the focus back to my wife. She tries but the focus is on her during sex and she is just going through the motions with me. Sex with her leaves me feeling stupid, empty and weak. Our sexual failures have left me untrusting and unwilling to put my self on line any longer. If her libido went through the roof tomorrow we would need years of therapy for me trust her again sexually. I am outraged; there seems to be nothing we can do.

    Moreover, there is no assistance for the men – MAN UP Be True – Control Yourself – Just Don’t Think About IT!! I agree it should be that easy but after years of this I can say don’t be a fool. My marriage will not end in divorce but I am at my wits end. I appreciate hearing there are others out there both men and women in the same boat, Misery Loves Company.
    What good does this do?
    Why are doctors so unwilling to address this – hell I will pay
    We hire maids and lawn keepers but not assistance to save our marriages! Why because society says so!
    Where is the medical support, therapy, guidance for any of us?
    How can life be so good in some ways and completely devastating in others?
    Is this our futures?

    We have to be able to find a solution, God I hope there is a solution!!!

  • Kim

    I have had many doctors tell me to have a hysterectomy, because I have a complicated situation due to failed surgeries (bladder/uterus). My uterus is healthy and functional. I do NHRTs, and feel wonderful. I am well read, and have talked to many women who have had hysterectomies, and many of their stories have been very sad. I tell every doctor no, and many seem frustrated by my response. As women, we need to stay together, and help one another. Why remove a healthy utrus because your doctor says you dont need it any more. Besides, we can leave your ovaries and you will be fine. I say,”We can remore your penis, but don’t worry, we will leave your testicules, and you will be just fine.

  • Marcia Neil

    In an era of pick-your-plot faux longhouses inspired by mental circulation of a baby palm-tree TRANSPLANT image now full-grown tree in northern CA, it has been obvious that ‘straightening out’ safely should become a public health ‘n’ well-being topic.

  • Debbie

    I had a vaginal hysterectomy about 6 weeks ago. We had issues with sex before because I was in constant state of bloat and bleeding from all the fibroids. We’ve had “outercourse” since my surgery and believe me – EVERYTHING still works great and my sensations are even better!!! I can’t wait a few more days until I’m able to have sex for real! I’m sorry so many of you are having problems. Although I’m reading some legit medical issues with several folks, others are expressing fear and negative points versus what is positive. You have to remember when you go into something – no matter what it is – that how well you do has everything to do with your attitude. I see this as such a positive in my life and I felt better the minute I came out of anesthesia! We don’t have to worry about the monthly thing, bloating from fibroids and actually – even though I’ve still got my ovaries, my hormones are not all crazy having to take care of the extra burden of the fibroids – so I’m not tired and grouchy all the time. Everyone I know of various ages who have had the surgery all say it’s the best thing they have ever done as well, so I had very little fear going into this. Men – work with your women – you may have to put forth some effort at first, but I bet your partner will be more marvelous than ever if you’re patient and loving with them and pay attention to outer “sensual spots” (there is more to sex than just intercourse). I am very happy with the new “ME” and made the right decision to have the surgery!

  • Carmalita

    I read all your stories and I am just healing from my total hyst. I am a single mother, no partner, so I am not quite sure how sex will be for me. My surgery went good. I am a healthy 46 year old woman. Some of your stories were very dramatic, even scary, but I will take it one day at time. Deep in my heart I will be just fine. I wish the best for all of you!

  • Nan

    I am five weeks after a partial, vaginal hyst. My husband and I had a great sex life before the operation. Now, whenever we are intimate and I start to get turned on, there is a strong ache that starts to develop in the area where my uterus was removed. This ache is strong enough that I shut down sexually and don’t want to climax. Is this just because I am trying too early? What can I do to get rid of the ache and move on to having an orgasm? By the way he is not penetrating me yet, and I have orgasms with clitoral stimulation. Any advice would be appreciated.

  • Relieved

    I am 31 and 6 weeks post op for a Total Abdominal Hysterectomy. I am happy to report that I can still orgasm. Thank God. The key to a good orgasm is the ability to relax and trust in your partner. There is still a level of sensitivity inside. Deep penetration is a little scary.. but I know in time this will get better. Take a breath ladies, relax and go slow.

    A word to the guyz out there. Be gentle and go slow. Just because we are ok to have sex… doesnt mean we can go all jungle gym right off the bat. LOL

    And to all the people who are having problems with their relationships post op… Try to find the root of the problem. It sounds like some women use the Hysterectomy as a cop out. Its easier to quit or make excuses than it is to face the problem and work it out.

    Anyway.. good luck with everything.

  • Pam

    It’s important to clarify that this isn’t simply a psychological issue. To say that it is just a matter of “relaxing and trusting your partner” is erroneous. There are physical changes that have occurred. If you experienced uterine contractions during sex before, then obviously without a uterus, you’re not going to be able to experience them again. With having nerves cut, and the blood supply diminished, the sensation cannot be the same. If you were to cut nerves and reduce the flow of blood to one of your fingers, you would undoubtedly notice a loss of sensation. Cause and effect.

  • Marcia Neil

    It is reasonable to assert that orgasms occur as a response to pain and/or disorder and to counteract its effects; orgasms are neurological in origin, with less to straighten out after a major surgery but perhaps more necessary to maintain a positive outlook. Uterine ‘pulse’ (“contractions”) is one positive result from orgasm, but a partner is not necessary unless protection is necessary.

  • Marcia Neil

    In this region there is a rock slab that resembles a uterus/womb visible upon a mountainside in a forested area; no assessment has been made about the use of ‘womb rock’ chatter to direct nonnecessary attention to actual living uteruses.

  • Angela

    I had a total abdominal hysterectomy in March 2010 and I have not lost my desire to have sex but I do notice a difference in orgasm. Before the surgery, I would have multiple orgasms and now I have to really concentrate and work for it. My desire for my husband is still strong and we have a wonderful marriage. The difficulty with orgasm is stressful for my husband but I’m hoping in time it will improve. I am an RN and I did lots of research before I went through with the procedure but if I could do it over, I would definately leave my cervix. I am frustrated in the change I am experiencing and I hope to return to my old self in a few more months.

  • Mary

    This is such a no brainer to me. Yes you will still have a vagina (albeit a shorter one) so intercourse is possible. But will it be the same? Well that depends. Bear in mind a lot of women don’t have orgasms anyway so a hysterectomy to them won’t change anything. But if you have uterine orgasms, the Rolls Royce of orgasms then of course it going to ruin your sex life. These women who think they are still having orgasms after hysterectomy are having little mini minor clitoral orgasms. They don’t know what they’ve been missing out on all this time!

  • Angela

    Mary, you make great points and what I find funny is that the (male) OB/GYN that performed my surgery thinks we are crazy for thinking there is a change in orgasm after hysterectomy. I am a L&D nurse so I have a pretty open relationship with the OB/GYN and he thinks like a man in response to my concerns. I am not a “clitoris orgasm” kinda woman when it comes to actual intercourse, so I definately realize NOW what I gave up by losing my uterus & cervix. I think keeping my cervix would have diminished the issue with loss of sensitivity but again I listened to a male doctor whom told me it’s all in a woman’s head to think the uterus and cervix has anything to do with great orgasms. I didn’t have the surgery because of any chronic medical issues, I sort of made a choice because I have 5 children, 38yrs old and tired of a moderately heavy cycle. DUMB REASON to have it done!!! My main reason for commenting on this blog is because I researched the effects of the procedure by reading lots of literature (and I asked trusted friends who had the surgery) about sexual performance post op. I found more answers of “nothing changed”, “sex is better”, etc. I beg to differ, there is a big difference for me but it’s not the end of the world. Sex is still great but my orgasms are difficult to achieve if at all and NO WHERE NEAR intense as before. Beware women!!!!

  • Mary

    Angela, the male ego is a wonderous thing! Here’s a quote that I copied from some blog that I loved . It’s very appropriate.
    “….because they so happen to totally miss the concept of what we call “facticity” in philosophy. – The human being isn’t potentially able to understand e v e r y t h i n g. No! We’re not all able to understand the same things. Rather, we happen to be sort of “bound” to our facticity when it comes to the ability of understanding whatever issue possible.
    Thus, as a woman, I can’t, on p r i n c i p l e, understand what – for example – having a penis is like and really means. Men can’t understand menstruation on p r i n c i p l e. This has nothing to do with lack of intelligence or – worse – empathy (which they seem to think we’re thinking them uncapable of by such statements), but with facticity. Which is at the same time that which e n a b l e s us to u n d e r s t a n d a n y t h i n g at all in the first place. – If we weren’t bound to anything, we wouldn’t have a vehicle of comprehension of the world, we’d be deprived of any perception of the world whatsoever, becaue we’d have nothing v i a w h i c h perceptions could pass through to us. In short, we wouldn’t even exist.
    The problem I think men are having with that issue, is that they are so accustomed to considering themselves as omnipotent Gods, that they can’t accept the fact that humans are, on principle, bound to something – which, as I said, is even the very condition for our freedom itself, for our very b e i n g there.
    To the neoliberal, traditionally masculine, mind, it is, however, viewd as a threat – so that as a result they can’t stand the idea of not being entitled to commandingly and omnisciently participate in the handling of certain issues, of not being in controll of certain issues and not being able to attain full, principle wisdom in some areas. It makes them physically ill – especially when the issue, of course, is w o m e n – THE very issue for them!”
    Also coincidentally, I was reading about a sex therapist in a magazine just the other day who said that the female sexual anatomy has not been mapped properly yet. The text books say that the women’s sexual organs are the inside out version of a man’s. So your doctors have absolutely no right to tell you how sex is for a woman, with or without a hysterectomy.

  • Mary

    One more thing Angela, ask your male doctor to describe what a female orgasm feels like in minute detail if they think they know better than you!

  • Mary

    Sorry and another thing. Think about it. Hysterectomy was invented by men about a hundred years ago when they knew zilch about female sexuality. (Freud was attempting to do his bit erroneously). It was all done from the MALE perspective. Remove the uterus and/ or cervix/and or ovaries, men can still penetrate the women, she still has a vagina !! YAY!!!! Sex is the same for the man!!!!!You don’t hear of any vagina removing surgery (unless there is a rare vagina cancer). Of course not !!Male doctors wouldn’t want to ruin sex for men would they?

  • lorah

    I’m in 22y i had never try sex ever since i had hys from the begging of my live since my birth they discover it so i had the surg and i feel that i’m death in feeling and love i’m very successful in my life and my career but i feel without love boyfriend that there is some thing missed in my whole live, what is money in front of ur love? ur child?

  • Angela

    Thanks Mary your words are music to my ears. My only regret is that I didn’t meet you several months ago! My life is great and by the grace of God it will continue to be. As for my sex life, it has changed but I can accept those changes and contently live by my choices. Hopefully we can help the next female with this dilema, to make a great choice for her future.

  • Mary

    Angela, Here’s another story you might like to hear. A women going for a hysterectomy wanted to keep her cervix because she was sure it was part of her orgasm experience. But her male gynecologist insists because he READ IT in a study that she is wrong and it won’t make any difference. They’re basically at a standoff position because he doesn’t do hysterectomies by leaving the cervix. She said he’s even started getting angry with her over the issue because he thinks he knows better.
    Words fail me.

  • jan 7-23-2010

    I had a full hysterectomy a year and a half ago. I am just starting to get my drive back a little. I’m in a lot less pain than I was in before but I’m having pain when I have sex. Not every time but most of the time. If I’m alert and careful I don’t have pain, but if I’m not careful I do have pain. This is very hard for me because I feel I cannot let loose. My doctor told me to go out on a romantic date but my husband and I have tried everything. I feel my doctor is brushing me off. Is there anyone with this problem, and if so do you have any advise. Is there something I’m missing or do not know.

  • Mary

    Jan there are many,many women with this problem. And many like you get the brush off. Doctors refuse to admit that it affects women in any way sexual, which defies logic. If my doctor told me to go on a romantic date I think I would castrate him. Here is a forum where thousands of women have the same problems as you. So you are not alone and it’s not in your head. Your doctor is disrespectful and arrogant.

  • ADC

    My complete hysterectomy is due Aug.13,2010 along w/that a bladder tac. I am a mother of 3 married going on 16 yrs now. I am 33 yrs old & a nervous wreck. My periods are heavy, most are mostly very painful & I get sick often w/them. Sometimes it feels like labor pains, pressure. Sex has been painful a few times but at the most wonderful. We have a high sex life I stay in the mood. My husband laughs & says I’m worse than a guy is. I had a DNC in Jan. of this year helped some at first but in bout 4 mths back to the way I was. I believe in my husband, our relationship, & God I control that I’m not worried about that changing… I am nervous over our sex life changing. I have read & read….I know everyone is different & reacts different. I have asthma & PKD I lost my right kidney September 2004 I never got feeling back on my right side I pray this done happen during/after my hysterectomy.

  • ADC

    This is my 3rd Dr w/same problem…all told me the same 2 are male 1 female doctor. Also my pap smear would show up abnormal. So w/the paps, 3 doctors, & sick of being sick & the pain plus can’t take much stuff cause of the PKD & Asthma is why we all agreed to a complete hysterectomy.

  • Ale

    Hi, I’m planning on having a hysterectomy on a couple of weeks and after reading this I’m very scare!!. I’m 41. Right now I have ovarian cysts (one on each) plus a chocolate cyst inside my right ovary, fibroids and severe endometriosis, I have been able to manage the pain but I’m still bleeding every day and I’m afraid the cysts break any minute and I would end in the ER with a doctor who would not know exactly how to remove everything without damaging other organs. I’m planning on taking biodentical hormones after. There is anybody out there with a similar condition that had the Surgery? can you tell me how are you now? Thank you so much!

  • Angela

    ADC, I would like to hear about your sex life after it resumes following your surgery. Your story sounds about like mine in regards to relations with my husband. I am curious to learn if you experience the loss of intensity with orgasms as I have since my hysterectomy in March 2010. My desire for sex has not changed AT ALL. What did change is how intense my orgasm is since my organs have been removed. If I could change 1 thing about my hysterectomy, it would be to leave in my cervix. My male doctor told me that nothing would change sexually and that I should be more concerned with cervial cancer. I have no family history of cancer but that doesn’t mean that it can’t happen. I also had a bladder repair with my surgery. My bladder is wonderful now but I have some disappointment over the orgasm issue. It’s really not the end of the world or anything like that, it’s just a small price to pay for having a hysterectomy. God Bless and I hope I was helpful to you. By the way, hysterectomy is a very common procedure and it typically goes very well. I am an OB/GYN nurse so I care for post hysterectomy patients often. Of course, I don’t see them later to followup on their status at the point of resuming sexual relations. I can only tell you from my experience. Remember the doctor wants your business so they will focus more on the positive side of having the procedure. Hope all goes well for you.

  • Sue

    Angela, cervical cancer is rare. It is about as common as testicular cancer. Doctors do not remove testicles just in case. Read this blog, you will be shocked and amazed. Read all the comments too.

  • michelle

    I had a hysterectomy June 13, 2010, my uterus, cervix were both removed but he left my ovaries, my doctor told me to wait 8 weeks b/f having sex and I did. Now all I think about is sex and have been for weeks, my desire & drive is thru the roof. I finally had sex and my partner tells me he is not hitting anything nor does it feel like anything is there. He says its just a hole and nothing on the sides, he says it feels like my vagina is gone. Is anybody else experiencing this issue?

  • Cynthia

    I am scheduled for a hysterectomy and posterior repair on Aug. 19th. All our married life (and my single life prior) I have been plagued with flooding menses, migraines, horrific debilitating cramps, nausea and lack of energy. I would bleed more than not. It’s like my cycles are bassackward. I have had several D&Cs, polyp removals, endometrial ablation and now post ablation/tubal sterilization syndrome. I have tried very hard to hold on to my uterus as long as I could since I’m only 39 but I’m over it. I am tired of pain and having to live with it daily. My husband has been a kind and patient man for the last 20 years but he’s over it too. All the yucky stuff interferes with our fun time. I am keeping my ovary (just have one due to an ectopic). Cervical cancer runs in my family so it has got to go. My doctor has explicit instructions not to shorten anything any more than is absolutely necessary but I have to say it’ll be nice to not have my cervix banged around anymore. That stuff hurts!I can’t predict what will happen after but I am looking forward to not dealing with all the awful stuff I have had to for the last 27 years. With the posterior repair, it will tighten things up vaginally and I’m told we’ll have to take our time to kind of break things in again because it’ll be like a untouched vajayjay feel. My husband seems to not mind this aspect at all. All in all, I can honestly say I am looking forward to getting this one and over with and see what life is like without all the pain and misery.

    On a side note..I have also told my doctor to stab my uterus with a scalpel once it’s out and take a picture of it for me. I’d like to pay it back for not functioning properly and causing my last child to be born at 25 weeks. All is well with the baby…but I’m female and revenge is sweet. ;p LOL

  • oraphine

    i had a hysterectomy few years ago i stii cant have a orgasm with a man. what should i do to help me?

  • mary

    Oraphine if you read Masters and Johnson (the sex researchers) they say that it is impossible to have an orgasm without the uterus.

  • Kathy

    Thank you Ray and Wendy…I am right where you are. I feel bad for my husband. I had this done 4 years ago. very thing has changed. I no longer have the desire, or feel the same. I want my part back. I will try and talk any wommen out of having the operation done. Its just not worth it.

  • Kathy

    Can anyone suggest anything I should use to help to bring anything back? The way I feel now, I could never have sex again and that would be ok. But I am married, its not fair to him. I just WANT to want to jump his bones.

  • Mary

    Don’t people realize that it’s just like desexing your pets? It’s the same surgery. Do they ever have an interest in sex afterwards? No, they’re neutered.

  • Angela

    Far Too Many Hysterectomies Still Being Performed

    By Robert Bazell – NBC News Correspondent

    What Women Aren’t Being Told

    The medical profession continues to reassure women that their uteruses are disposable organs that they can quite happily live without. In fact, the uterus -free woman, is depicted as a care-free individual released from the drudgery of uncomfortable and debilitating female problems. The 1987 editorial in the prestigious British medical journal Lancet has, no doubt, played an important part in lulling doctors and women into such false sense of security about hysterectomies when it said:

    for the woman who is not interested in having children, or whose family is complete, this solution (hysterectomy) is often attractive … (it promises) relief from her symptom., and other expected benefits – greater reliability at work, availability at all time for sexual intercourse, saving on sanitary protection, freedom from pregnancy and freedom from uterine cancer. 12

    To appreciate just how ludicrous such a statement is, it is necessary to have some basic understanding of the female reproductive system. The uterus, or the womb as it is also known, is a muscular organ designed for childbearing. Far from a disposable organ that serves no further purpose after the childbearing days are over, the uterus is the main site for the production of the hormone, prostacyclin which protects women from heart disease and unwanted blood clotting. Since prostacyclin cannot be synthetically manufactured in a laboratory, the removal of the uterus will ensure its production will cease forever.13

    The uterus also is an important sex organ. The ground breaking research by Masters and Johnson on human sexuality, revealed that the accelerating pitch of sexual excitement prompts the uterus to contract and rise out of the vagina. At orgasm, it undergoes a series of contractions. All the other so-called orgasms – vaginal, clitoral and nipple – are the initiators of sexual excitement but Masters and Johnson showed that uterine contractions are the end point of this excitement and that female orgasm requires these contractions.14

    As a result of a hysterectomy, some of the nerves are severed which would have gone to the uterus also supply parts of the abdomen, the clitoris and the upper thigh. This can lead to a loss of tactile sensation from the waist to the mid thigh region.

    Given these findings, there is no doubt that the sexual changes women report after hysterectomy are real, not imagined. Without a uterus there can be no orgasm. Other researchers have also shown than internally induced orgasm occurs when the penis presses hard and repetitively against the cervix, causing movement of the uterus and its supports. (It is also common for the cervix to be removed during a hysterectomy as a so-called preventative measure for cervical cancer).

    There is another function of the uterus that is usually not given much credence by the medical profession but is none-the-less an important one. According the Christiane Northrup, M.D., author of Women’s Bodies, Women’s Wisdom , ” The uterus is related to a woman’s innermost sense of self and her inner worlds. It is symbolic of her dreams and the selves to which she would like to give birth…(and) reflects her inner emotional reality and her belief in herself at the deepest level”.15 The uterus is the centre of a woman’s creative self.

    Aside from the ovary’s important function of storing and maturing the eggs, it has another important role as an endocrine gland. As an endocrine gland it produces hormones, before, during and after menopause. Far from the popular myth that ovaries dry out, shrivel up and become completely useless at menopause, the ovaries perform a vital function during the a woman’s entire post-menopausal life.

    As women naturally age, the part of the ovary that shrinks is known as the theca, the outermost covering where the eggs grow and develop. The innermost part of the ovary, known as the inner stoma, actually becomes active at menopause for the first time in a woman’s life.

    After menopause, the ovaries continue to function, working in concert with the skin, liver and fat to produce hormones. Celso Ramon Garcia, M.D. director of surgery at the Hospital of the University of Pennsylvania, USA, is one of the many authorities saying that the hormone produced by the postmenopausal ovaries promote bone health and skin suppleness, support sexual functioning, protect against heart disease and contribute to a woman’s health and well-being.16

    The ovaries serve more than one function. Reproduction is their most dramatic function but it isn’t the only one. These organs have as much to do with the maintenance of a woman’s own life as they do with her role in bringing other lives into the world. The menopausal ovary is neither failing nor useless. At menopause it is simply beginning to shift from its reproductive to its maintenance function.

    The removal of the ovaries is a great trauma to a woman’s body at any age. Since the ovaries are the primary site of a woman’s hormone production, surgically removing them immediately puts her into an instant menopause. The effect is so immediate that some doctors put an oestrogen patch on the patient while she is still in the operating theatre. Many women will have severe hot flushes with two hours after surgery. Unfortunately oestrogen therapy doesn’t always compensate for the missing hormones since the ovary makes more than just oestrogen. When you lose your ovaries, you also lose progesterone, some of your testosterone and androstenedione (a form of androgen which is an oestrogen precursor ) as well as any other hormone the uterus and ovary might make that medical science is as yet unaware.17

    The removal of the ovaries, whether or not hormone therapy is taken, makes a woman more vulnerable to osteoporosis and heart disease than women who experience natural menopause, probably because the body needs more than just oestrogen. The idea that oestrogen therapy can “replace” the work of the lost ovaries is misleading. New data on the other hormones produced by the ovary shows that it can’t. Women who have their ovaries removed don’t feel normal when only oestrogen is “replaced”. This may relate to orgasm, libido and general wellbeing.

    The female reproductive system is still very much shrouded in mystery and by no means fully understood by medical science. Dr. Susan Love postulates that, ” the earlier menopause caused by ordinary hysterectomy (removing only the uterus) suggests that there may be a connection we haven’t yet discovered between the uterus and ovaries – something akin to, or part of, the feedback loop of the brain, hypothalamus, pituitary and ovary. The uterus may produce a hormone that responds to the ovary. Then when the uterus is gone and the feedback ends, the ovary realises it doesn’t have any place to drop its eggs, so it stops trying.18

    Dr. West’s concurs with this view point”. Even when the ovaries are left in place, many women develop serious physical and emotional problems. Most are due to permanent ovarian failure. In up to 50 percent of women whose ovaries have been left intact, the ovaries often cease to function normally after hysterectomy. …we can assume that at least 70 percent of all women who have hysterectomies will encounter some problems”. 19

    The uterus in the female equivalent to the prostate gland while the ovaries’ counterpart are the testicles. The removal of the prostate and testicles results in castration for the man. When the uterus and ovaries are removed, a woman is castrated. No doctor in his right mind would suggest to a man that he have his prostate and testicles cut out unless his life was seriously endangered nor make absurd statements promising him a new and better life. Yet, gynaecologists are all too eager to suggest this serious procedure to women for many minor (and certainly less than life-threatening) complaints. No physician today can assure any woman that an hysterectomy will not affect her sex life. Dr. West warns that it is therefore imperative for women to understand that their uteruses and/or ovaries should not be willingly sacrificed except for the purpose of saving her life.

    Even though, it is known that an hysterectomy has a profound physiological and psychological impact on a woman’s life, why has it become the most popular non-obstetrical procedure performed women? In order to understand this anomaly, it is essential to understand the historical roots of medical science and gynaecology in particular.

  • Adelissa

    It will be a year october 29th since I had my hysterectomy. I had ovarian and endometrial double primary cancer, so they took everything. I don’t know if it is because I am overweight (fat stores estrogen) but I have not had any problem with sexual desire but intercourse, while not exactly painful, isn’t as comfortable as it used to be (as it does indeed shorten the vagina) but I have a sensitive husband and we have gotten past it and still enjoy sex but I will say my o’s aren’t as thrilling as they used to be… the uterus does play a huge role in that. I do still have as good clitoral orgasms as I ever had. I honestly am just thankful to be alive as is my husband. It does take some getting used to though.

  • Curious girl

    I had my uterus removed,everything else still in place. I enjoy sex now. My husband seems a little uninterested. I always have to make the first move in bed. My question, is the warm, wetness of the vagina still there, I don’t use KY jelly no need too. Can I get a guys point of view.

  • Jamie

    My wife and I had been together frome somphmores in highschool until 8 months ago.
    That was over 23 years of marriage. We dated only each other throught college and remained absent form sex until marriage.
    We were both olny childred, her parents were divorced and mine still married. We both were very blessed with good jobs early in life. I was a law enforcement officer with the state of Alabama and she was a elementary school principal. She experienced menopause early like her mother at around 37. She had a full hyster. and refused to take any of the medication the doctor prescribed including hormones. For the entire time we were together we had arguments and fights but nothing metaly or physically envolved. She was faithful to me and I was faithfull to her. But when the surgery happened this was almost 6 years after the birth of our son she began to seem to change. She started accusing me of stealing her money and adultry with local women in our small community. She began to depend on her mother’s advice about what she should and invited her into our marriage and marriage bed. I did not know what to do. I councled with my pastor as well as a christian psycholigist/marriage counciler. She would not attend. She said that she no longer respected me or had faith in my and could no longer trust me.
    This all happened within 4-5 months after the operation. She even went as far as to pop link my email with hers to see what I was recieving and who I was writing too. Her mother whom I loved and still do very much had always been welcome in our home especially after her divorce. I accepted her as a part of our family. Then one night her mother and aunt had come to our home to get ready for a garage sale. That night my wife and I got into a diagreement and her mother had a come apart on me and called the local police/911 and told them that I had struck my wife. The officer that responded knew me very well, as i had worked as a drug interdiction officer in his area while with the state. He asked my wife if she was alright? My wife would not anwser. Her mother said in front of my 7 year old son that I had hit her and was afraid that I was going to hurt my son. The officer examined my wife and asked me to come outsided with him. I said Douge I promise I did not hit her, in over 20 years i have never touched her out of anger. He said I know she had no signs of domestic violence, and the fact that your mother in law anwserd for her led me to that decisi
    on. He said the best thing to do was leave if I had somewhere to go. So I moved out.
    Whithin two she filed for divorce and filed a restraining order with supervised visitation for my son. Now please do not misunderstand I still love my exwife very much and always will. I labour under the hope that Gods will, will some day place us back together. I had to retire from my state job because of depression and stress.
    and because of the divorce decree and the things I assume my mother in law added destroyed my good name and reputation. I did not contest the divorce, I gave her what ever she asked for as I have always done for her and most important for my son.
    It has been almost 10 months now and I can not find any gainful employement in my hometown where I moved, too my great great grandmothers old home place I had purchased from my grandmother before she died. It, my truck and few clothes was all I had. No money no savings and everything we had was in my name. So with God’s grace I have just been able to avoide bankruptcy. My parents have been very understanding and have helped me beyond anything I can ever repay. I get to see my son every weekend and two weeks in the summer. That is all that is important to me. I know that if I were to move from this state in search of employment I would most assurdley loose my visitation. So here I am 42 years old no job or much hope of one and a destroyed credit history living from part time job to part time job and what my parents give me.
    If any one out there has had a similar experience with similar circumstances I would like too know how you are handeling it. The only advice I can give is if you are not religous you might want to consider it. I have been a christian since before my teens and an ordained deacon at my church for the last 17 years and if not for the Lord Jesus Christ I know without a shadow of a doubt I would not have made it this far.. I dont believe in luck only blessings and I wish you blessings and may they come through believing in God. I am not trying to prosalatize I just know what I know. NO one is perfect on this earh we can only aspire to be so, and live our lives according. We must forgive even if we have not been forgiven and love unconditionaly, and pray for forgivness from the Almighty. God bless and keep you I hope this has helped

  • lucy

    I Had a hysterectomy 2mths ago l feel not
    good at all my hubs dose not want to have sex with me at all help me

  • December

    INCREASED SEX DRIVE after partial, why? I had a laparascopic supercervical hysterectomy 4.5 weeks ago. They left the ovaries and cervix, took tubes and upper uterus. I’m trying to figure out why I have this major increased sex drive. I’m 42 and had Mirena for seven years, to stop some fibroids from growing. This last year, a fibroid grew over the Mirena, and it became imbedded. Mirena was surgically removed during my hysterectomy. I worried that I would lose my sex drive. I was wrong! Maybe it’s the removal of the Mirena? Any advice? This is great, but sex is all I think about and I’m not getting much done. December

  • Teres

    Never do this surgery. I found out mine was a misdiagnosis and my surgeon never even said I’m sorry. I was an outgoing self confident gal who has become a hermit and my significant other and I used to have sexual intimacy daily and now I feel like a big whole. I used to orgasm many times and was very lubricated. Just think, all for a misdiagnosis. I pray to God and don’t understand how he could allow surgeons to be so cruel. My poor family and me. I’m’ only 44 and feel my life is over. I used to smile all the time and now I am depressed all the time

  • Lavi

    I had 2 year completed hyst, now my sex not enjoy like befor, my vagina is dry , I ask my husband he said not effect to him, he fell the same as befor

  • Catherine

    to the woman who said if sex is good before surgery it will be good after.. 7 months later.. maybe better.. but still can’t reach orgasum.. my sex life sucks. it was great.. multi orgasmic.. loved sex.. now.. I want it.. but so often it simply hurts… and haven’t had an orgasum since the morning of surgery! 7 months ago.

    had it for potential cancer. for that I can’t say I wouldn’t do it again there were cancer cells.. so saved my life.. but as for my sex life that is so far is regretfully lost.

  • Lesley

    Catherine, I really hope you didn’t have the hysterectomy for nothing! You mean for potential cervical cancer ? Did you know that a lot of the abnormal cells go back to normal on their own? Go to this article and have a read. There’s info here that you can’t find anywhere else on the web. Ask for your pathology report.

  • lastchancebob

    My wife had the procedure several years ago and it destroyed our sex life. Her doctor says she is normal for age (53). I guess her doctor who is a young female thinks a 53 year old should be tired of sex by now. I say BS we had a great sex life before this and now nothing for months at a time, she has no desire at all. This has been going on for about five years now and it stinks. If you ladies need this please do not put sex first save your life. But DO ASK lots of questions of you doctor and please have 2 or 3 opinions.

  • Denise

    I had a hysterectomy 3 years ago because the doctor told me my cancer levels were elevated, so I was really scared. I wasn’t thinking clearly and told the doctor to remove my cervix, too. (which was a healthy cervix and by the way, no cancer) When I have intercourse it burns so much and does not feel good at all.

  • Melissa

    Is there anyone who can give any advice on how to try to have sex without painful insertion?

  • Hurt

    I see so many references above – but none seem to address my situation.
    I had a total hys, and now sex is very very painful – my vagina is tight, and every time we have sex, it burns. I do use lubricants. I totally regret my decision to have a hys, but whats done is done. Is there any surgery available to make my vagina bigger? I live in South Africa. If anyone can suggest a doctor I could contact in the JoBurtg/Pretoria area, I’d me most grateful.

  • Jenna

    I am both happy and scared after reading the posts on this website. I am having a partial hysterectomy next week due to heavy; painful periods, fibroids, and probable endometriosis. My doctor said sex and orgasms will be normal after this procedure. He also said the only reason a woman might gain weight after this procedure would be from lack of exercise and over-eating. He added that fatigue and some pain will be the major problems for a few weeks after surgery. Otherwise, he said that I will feel better than I ever had. He is only removing my uterus…..not sure about the cervix. He may have to remove an ovary due to endometriosis but he won’t know until he performs the abdominal hysterectomy. afetr reading some of the posts I am so afraid I’m going to enter into a deep depression after surgery and lose all interest in sex and life in general. I mean, I already take anti-depressants for moderate depression which really helps. Now I fear the depression will come back worst than ever…..I mean, I don’t want to turn into a lethargic, suicidal, hopeless, obese, and angry person after my surgery next week. Even if they were just to remove the fibroids, they would probably return again and I do exhibit all the signs of endometriosis with overwhelming pain (have to take Vicodin) during my periods. I’m 46 and never had children and the doctor feels this is partially why I’m having so many menstrual issues. I also had a cyst burst on one of my ovaries that felt like I had been shot. So, I’m happy the pain and suffering (physical) will be gone within weeks after my surgery but now I’m petrified of the emotional/psychological ramifications. Sorry for the long post but I’m very anxious right now and I guess I just need some support and reassurance. Thank you, so much.

  • justine

    Jenna it is impossible that your Dr can guarantee that sex and orgasms will be the same after a hysterectomy. He is not a woman! He does not know what an orgasm is like for a woman. I have not had a hysterectomy but I had Uterine artery embolisation. Can you have that or just have your fibroids removed? I had UAE and even then I could not have an orgasm for some months until the blood supply returned to my uterus. So I KNOW that you need your uterus for an orgasm. I will go toe to toe with any doctor that tries to tell me otherwise!! You’re 46 you only have a little while to go before your periods are over. Have you thought about a mirena in the meantime for your periods.? Anyway if he claims that women only gain weight from lack of exercise and over eating, has the Einstein thought that that is caused by depression caused be the hysterectomy?

  • justine

    Hurt you need to use dialators.
    And Jenna, gynecologists do not study female sexual response so they do not know about the effects on hysterectomy on a woman’s sex life. Of course he is going to recommend one for you and tell you you will feel better than ever. That’s how he makes his living. Please think about it really hard and I don’t believe that at your age the fibroids will return. Please think about it. How can you trust him when he tells you that sex and orgasms will be the same? That defies logic. What I suggest is to take note of what an orgasm feels like for you and where do you feel it. I know that I can feel my uterus contract when I have an orgasm so I can definitely categorically can say a hysterectomy will sex and my orgasms.

  • Hurt

    Justine, if you want to enjoy sex, DON’T DO IT!!

  • andrea

    I had a hysterectomy 7 months ago and while at times it takes a bit longer to achieve orgasm, the actual sensation is FANTASTIC!!!! It seems that instead of damaging the nerves they were enhanced and it is amazing!

  • andrea

    I forgot to point out that I had everything removed; and it is still fantastic…no vaginal dryness (in fact the opposite). I respect that maybe my case is not the norm, but really…it was the best thing I ever did…

  • Arden

    Hello all just to share. I had my hysterectomy in August this year 2010. I am with the Ladies that say thier sex drive is thru the roof. I am ALWAYS in the mood, and have pretty much worn my hubby out. I think about it 24 hours a day and can’t stop. I hope this calms down and I mean fast…..

  • Linda

    I am 2 wks post-op from a TVH and I’ve NEVER FELT better!! My uterus and cervix was a mess, more so than Doctors anticipated. I too am a RN with a minor in psychology. I came on to this site and many others before having my Hysterectomy and almost bailed out from what people were saying. Each person is different, and handles things way differently.

    I have read horror stories from sexual decrease, to 20-90 pound weight gain, to total pain that has you bed ridden and wishes of never having the surgery.

    Ok, yeah no more uterine organisms! Question…how good were they to begin while being in pain? Ask yourself this, “with all the suffering from pain that made your go to a GYN to begin with, is it more beneficial to sacrifice uterine organisms for a pain free, heavy flow free, no more bloating way of life?” Basically you ask yourself Pain or a uterine organism” If the uterine organisms were more intense then your pain, chances are you shouldn’t have had a Hysterectomy. Mini or not, clitoral organism feel great as well. Before my surgery I felt neither of them due to pain. If your surgery was performed for bleeding issues only there are other methods, such as birth control. Im not putting anyone down at all, like I said each person handles things differently, but my surgery was a blessing and has opened many doors in my life.

    The day I returned from surgery (in the hospital over night) I was tired but nothing else. I was up doing things that I probably shouldn’t have, but I’m a fighter. Im now 2 wks post-op and engaged in outer course (because inner is not allowed at this time) twice that felt amazing, better then sex before my hysterectomy. I’m actually finding myself wanting sex now more than I ever did, I feel fantastic, back to almost normal with my work load and daily routine (I do get tired quickly still) and I lost weight not gained.

    With everything in life, its what you make of it.

    No offense to any ma out there, but perhaps try a different approach with your wives after their hysterectomy. At first I thought I wasn’t going to feel like a woman again, but my husband caressed my body, held me, touched me gently, and then one things lead to another. It was magical! Moral of the story is, sometimes the problem can be in ones mind.

  • ruined

    I can tell you right now from a woman who could have 5minute rolling orgasms with or without a partner, dont do it unless ABSOLUTELY MEDICAL NECCESSITY!!! I cant have an orgasm if I used a power tool!!! Im a eunich now. :( I had uterus and cervix removed one yr ago for tumor size of softball in uterus. I was told I had no option even though none cancerous. Fresh out of divorce at 38 and no kids, who wants a woman whos neutered like a dog??? Im EXTEMELY angry and upset I wasn’t WARNED. Also Ive gained 10lbs. and my personality has changed dramatically. Like having a labotomy. I used to be very happy,very sad, very everything but now no moods. Just blah. Everyone comments. I feel like im a 5yr old girl now, not a woman anymore. The uterus and cervix really does ALOT more than anyone believes. The uterus also distributes the ovaries hormones throughout a 24 hr pd. so keeping the ovaries is a joke. Hormones just are expelled with no where to distribute in burst once a day. Night sweats, fatigue, skin changes and severe constipation are the direct result also of surgery. DO YOUR RESEARCH!

  • Tim

    My wife and I are 49 years old now and since she had the surgery, our sex lives are over… No SEX, not no how…OVER!!!!!!!

  • lIz

    I need to know something. Before a hysterectomy the vagina cleans itself, after sex or menstruation. Do I have to use a douche now?

  • Ken

    My wife had total hysterectomy 6 years ago. We have had vaginal intercourse 4 times in 6 years. Zero times in the last 2 and a half years. Before the surgery our sex life was great, probably 4 times a week but now -nothing. She is a different person. She went from a caring, loving person to a cold, disinterested person. The only strong emotion she has is rage. She doesn’t kiss, hug, snuggle, hold hands, or anything lke that. I want a divorce but the guilt of it not being her fault keeps me from leaving. Is there a product on the market that could give her some kind of sex drive?

  • redredrobin

    I had a complete hysterectomy Nov. 30, 2010. I’m back in action already. No problem with any sort of pain at this time. (01/30/11)

  • Tiffany

    I am 23 years old and had a hysterectomy due to cervical cancer and a bladder suspenion Nov. 16th 2010. I still have my ovaries, but the doctor’s are checking me every year to see if any cancer comes back since I have poly cystic ovaries. I beg the doctors to let me keep my ovaries as long as I can. It’s been a couple of months now and I feel great. I’ve lost over 50lbs and have energy now. However, since I’ve had the surgery I want sex all the time. My dilemma is I am dry and it hurts to have intercourse with my husband of six years. I am allergic to all the lubs. that I’ve tried. It burns like I am on fire when I try these products, any suggestions! I am at a loss! I don’t want my husband to think that I don’t want him because I “do”.

  • Angela

    Tiffany, try Astroglide and as a last resort try saliva(foreplay)! Sorry you are having such a difficult situation. Good luck.

  • Angie

    My wife had a total hysterrectomy 1 1/2 years ago, I can count on one hand how many times we’ve had sex since. We used to have sex on a regular basis, now when I ask all I get is a quick response, NO! No matter what I do it’s always the same response. I would hate to leave, but I’m getting to the point that I need to something soon.

  • Jennifer

    Hi, I had the complete hysterectomy in 07 and I felt very excited about sex for the first two months but couldn’t do anything but pleasure my husband which had no complaints.Now it has been almost 4 years and I experience a lot of problems with dryness, emotions, and the desire for sex.
    Ihave been married to the same person for 25 years and we trully love each other.
    We are now experimenting with getting involved in social dating other married couples this is an option if others you have tryed aren’t working. There are also enhancement pills out there that help me like womens extense and pandora KY entense also helps. I know what you mean about painful every time that I have sex I feel like my husbands penis is crashing into the back of my vagina and it is painful much like the pain I had before my surgery. I had a precancerous uterus and several cyst on my right ovary so they took it all.
    I have an appointment this week with my gyno and I am going to ask him about switching me from the vivelle dot patch to divigel that is a gel that you put on the front of your thigh and I tryed a sample of it and I liked it so wish me luck.

  • Jules

    Jennifer, You shouldn’t have to go through all that trouble to enjoy sex. BTW I read a medical journal that had an article on sex after hysterectomy that was published back in the 90s and they did not have any doubts that it would adversely effects a woman’s enjoyment of sex. They recommended that it should be mentioned with every woman before she has one. Obviously doctors do know they just don’t want women to know.

  • R TAYLOR

    I HAD A ROBOT HYSTERECTOMY 10 MOS AGO AND i WILL SAY IT TOOK ABOUT 6MOS TO GET USED TO SEX AFTER HYSTER. BUT AFTER THAT ITS NOT PAINFULL, MY SEX DRIVE INCREASED AND WE’RE BACK TO NORMAL. JUST RELAX.

  • R TAYLOR

    OH AND ANOTHER THING. IT IS NOT IMPOSSIBLE TO HAVE AN ORGASISM AFTER A HYSTER. U CAN. I DO BELIEVE THAT FOR SOME WOMEN CLITORAL STIMULATION WILL PRODUCE AN ORGASISM NOT CERVICAL. THIS IS THE CASE FOR ME ANYWAY…

  • Jules

    R Taylor, the orgasm, according to Masters and Johnston begins at the clitoris and ends at the uterus. So yes you probably are feeling half of an orgasm but you’re probably not getting the whole experience. From what I have read, it seems that the women who had the best orgasms before hysterectomy are the ones that complain the most about sex afterwards.

  • ddch

    i really dont want to complain but,i started going through premenapause at age 42 and I met my husband at 41 and the sex was great but at age 42 it started to change with the premenapause and we got married and at 44years old i had to have an emergency hysterectomy and the sex continue to decline can anyone give me some advice

  • dave

    my wife had hyst about 3yrs ago she had everything removed except her cervix. she would experience cysts on her ovaries every few yrs and had to go for lapascopes she finally decided to go through with the hst. i can honestly say our sex life has diminihed and she has no sex drive what so ever and keeping her cervix didnt make a difference to her or me . from posts i have read it sounds like everyone is different. all i can say is expect the worse hope for the best if there is any way you can hold off on this surgery and deal with what your going through now then do it .. but if you really really cant take the pain anymore then have the surgery but expect your sexlife to change .

  • Emma

    I am so glad I found this blog! I had a total hysterctomy and one of my ovaries removed almost 6 months ago followed by few postsurgical complications. Intimacy has not been the same, but reading all this helps me to understand that other couples experience similar issues and ultimately there is a hope.

  • Nina

    I had my uterus and cervix removed and still have a great sex drive. Since the hysterectomy; I have had some multiple-full-blown orgasms. Initially, take intercourse slowly and relax. If it starts to hurt, stop. Masturbation or foreplay prior may help. I found that if I went too long in between intercourse that it did feel somewhat tight and painful–so I masturbate. The muscle contractions help. I seldom feel pain and sex is very enjoyable. If I thought for one second that I wasn’t going to enjoy sex after the operation–then I would never have had it done.

  • Robin Karr

    I agree with Tammi in most everyting she has posted. There are not two sides to hysterectomy. There is tremendous loss sustained by any woman who undergoes the amputation of her sex organs. Also, Nora Coffey is correct in the medical ‘facts’ she posted about uterine orgasm being impossible without a uterus.

    Gynecologists are surgeons and they either deliver babies or women’s organs. They have no other means to earn their living. We don’t need Gynecologists. Most family doctors can do pap smears, etc. and deliver babies. Also, mid-wives have been delivering babies for hundreds of years. The best way any woman can remain ‘intact’ is to avoid Gynecologists… in my opinion. They do much more evil than good. For more information on this topic; visit my web site at wwww.hysterectomyconsequences.com

  • cathy vosecky

    I had a hysterectomy in March, 2011. I was afraid of not having a sex drive afterward. Believe me that sex is better than it has been since I was in my 20’s. I’m 47 now, and haven’t felt this good in a long time

  • Barbra

    I love the “RAVE” reviews by those who barely had their surgery a month ago, etc! Please! If your ovaries are intact, they will have an over 60% chance of shutting down within a few years of hysterectomy. Let us know where you are in 5 years; give or take a year! From what I read there is a fleeting surge of hormones that are not broken down properly due to the removal of your sex organs, so sex drive may be high at first but it starts to take a nose dive.
    The large risks are not worth the minuscule rewards(if any).

  • dion

    I am a 37yr old women married to a 25 yr old man who loves sex and wanted a child.can’t hardly give sex monthly on constantly. Can’t give him a child huge fib. scared after hys. he may leave .Here good and bad stories. I know a lot o women who haven’t had the surgery almost died and i don’t want to play with my life have waited out the surgery for several yrs. wanted to have a baby just want happen.Now i have to think about myself.However, happy to hear some good results. I pray I have a good outcome.I have surgery next month.

  • Angela

    ADC were are you? I would love to heard from you and find out how you are doing since your surgery last August. Please followup with us soon. Hopefully everything was okay for you.

  • mayra

    I agree a hysterectomy was a big mistake it has ruined my life most of this year 2011 after three month wait my vaginal cuff opened up during sex and I needed an emergency surgery to sew me back up again. The first operation was the davinci robotic hysterectomy now the second operation to fix me up again is abdominal surgery which is like a c section cut on your stomach plus be sewn again vaginally and now another wait for sex this time a wait of four more months

  • mayra

    I agree my life has been ruined after the davinci robotic hysterectomy. After waiting three months to have sex my vaginal cuff tore during sex and I had to get an emergency surgery to sew me back up again and now I have a cut on my stomach too from second surgery like a c section cut now I have to wait four months to try sex again

  • mayra

    I am only 31 years old and had a hysterectomy and it was only done for heavy monthly bleeding I had no other problems and now I regret it. I’m afraid I ll never go back to normal again. I feel now that doctors shouldn’t offer a hysterectomy unless its a life or death situation it is extremely painful and it can ruin your sex life for good and I’m too young to have had this done so not happy at all with this operation

  • mayra

    Also it is very depressing all that has happened and now the worry that I may never be fine again n this long wait to try to have sex again to probably tear again vaginally during intercourse. Its very scary and my body still hurts can’t carry anything and needing live in help also. If you have small children recovery is going to be very hard you ll need help for a long time

  • vicki childress

    WOW….I had a hysterectomy about a year ago. Everything was removed….I dont want to go into the details but what is surprising me is….there seems to be so many women hurt by this procedure and it still happens. We need to take action..What can we do….The deeper I read into this the uglier it looks (including my own experience)…..Any thoughts on how we can decrease the occurrence of this surgical procedure???Lets develop a nationwide outcry of some sort and let the health community realize that the way this procedure is presented IS NOT what is going on. Women DO NOT live happily ever after..Come on, lets think of something…

  • patti

    i had a radical hysterectomy a few years ago it feels like there is a painful wall during intercourse. quit taking premarin as my doctor doesn,t believe in it. sex isnt great except solo

  • julie

    hello everyone…i am 27 years old and i am 11 days out from my total hysterectomy. I seriously feel a million times better. the only thing that sucks right now is that i can have sex with my finance. at first when my DR said that i needed to have a hysterectomy i was terrified, but i am a type 1 diabetic and was worried that everything would mess up all the work i have been doing to keep my diabeties in control. but to be honest i am so glad i did it.

  • Trish

    It’s so true that orgasms are dimished after a full hysterectomy! I had an ovarian tumour, but the gynecologist recommended a full hysterectomy so I ‘wouldn’t have to worry about cancer’ in the future. My mother died of ovarian cancer, so I had no problems having the other ovary removed, but if I were making the decision now instead of in an emergency situation where my judgment was clouded by the hormones of the tumour, I would have instructed the doctor to keep my cervix and uterus IF no cancer was found in the affected ovary.

  • Mary

    I was 40 and had a complete hysterectomy, if my story doesn’t scare you I don’t know what will. I have been to 38 doctors, Mayo Clinic and Scripps trying to get any kind of normalcy back. If I didn’t have a son, I know I would have ended my life. I have been to regular doctors, bio identical doctors, naturalpaths, you name it. I have tried pills, pellets, creams, gels, orals and anything you can think of. It has caused a 50 lb weight gain, thyroid cancer, fibromyalgia, suicidal depression, fatigue. All because a doctor took my ovaries without telling me the consequences of such a thing. He murdered me. I am not even the person that I was, Do NOT let them scare you into “you don’t want ovarian cancer” your chances of that are less than 1 percent. I would give anything to go back and I even told him if the ovaries looked good, keep them, he took them anyway, I am sure he made more money that way….They used to do this and the young women would end up in an asylum simply cause you can not do such a drastic thing to the human body.

  • Mary

    I am going to have a record come out next year, it will give me the fame I need to speak out against hysterectomies and tell the truth..They pissed off the wrong girl. I will NEVER let this happen to another human being again

  • Angela

    I had a lyproscopic hysterectomy on June 9, 2011. I had alot of problems with my menstral cycle ( heavy bleeding, it caused me to be anemic, never had any energy, passed out alot of blood clots,and very bad mentral pain, and I even had the pain everyday when I wasn’t on my period, plus I had one fybriod, I was taking to many pain killers that I knew wasn’t good for me).For that reason I’m glad that I made that chose to get it, I’m able to be there for my kids now with out having pain or crying everyday. I have one good ovary left. I have an awesome sex life and great orgasms. My sex drive has increased. But the only thing is I’am still, having pain during sex. I have an appointment next week to see what can be done about the pain. I’m praying that they can do something about it without surgery, because I don’t want to go threw another one.

  • Mary

    I think that the thing that pains me most is the women that are on here and think that they breezed through it and don’t know the long term effects of what hysterectomy does..
    Don’t you ever wonder why the number one killer of women is heart disease? Well it’s no big mystery what causes it is that they do 600,000 hysterectomies a year and hysterectomies cause heart disease! Also decompression of your spine after taking your organs out along with a host of other things. I wish more than anything I knew about Nora 8 years ago. The only good that can come out of my story is for women to listen and not look at me like you’re not a doctor how would you know. I am not a doctor but I am pretty sure that experience trumps the way a male doctor is going to tell me how I feel as a female. Even female gynecologists and nurses are telling women the wrong information. There is so many other ways to fix heavy bleeding, fibroids etc. I have now studied it 8 years not cause I wanted to, it was just so I have the knowledge when I go public with my story to help women make an educated and informed decision.

  • Miss Goose

    I had my hysterectomy in September 2002. They took everything. I’m on HRT and it’s terrible. Sex drive = 0. Also, for the past several years, my husband says that I feel different inside. He’s says I’m much easier to penetrate…it’s very loose inside. Does anyone else get the same comments? Please help!

  • Mrs. Nomoreuterus

    I am 30 years old with three children, the last being born only nine months ago. Number three nearly killed me, causing a heart problem that I’m lucky to have survived. My cardiologist told me I would not survive another pregnancy so after dealing with the constant bleeding I experienced on an IUD I went back to my ob/gyn to discuss other options. He suggested the partial hysterectomy and after answering my many questions we agreed this would be best. I had the surgery only a week ago. They did it laproscopic(spelling?) and took just my uterus and cervix. I’m not gonna lie, it’s been painful until just the last couple days. But as for my sex life… so far so good. My marriage has always suffered a pretty stale sex life due to baby/heart/bleeding. And already I feel like we can’t keep our hands off eachother. We no longer have the fear of pregnancy, which probably helps. I guess as far as long term, I can’t say.. but I’m not worried at all. For the person that is claiming the ovaries fail within a few years of getting a partial hysterectomy… while that may have happened to a few rare people, it’s not the norm. My mother had a partial fifteen years ago and has never had an issue with her ovaries. For the person who is claiming spinal decompression, I doubt that. Your uterus is only the size of your fist. It’s not taking much room in there. If that were the case, everyone getting an appendectomy or gall bladder removal would be complaining about the same things, and they aren’t. I never had a doubt about my choice or any worry of sexual repercussions until I came to this message board. I think there are women that have had bad experiences, some of them perhaps are due to a failure on their doctors part, but some may be a failure in another part of their life…like their marriage or self confidence, etc. If you’re somebody reading these posts in hopes that you’ll be better informed.. please do not put weight in them. Find a doctor you trust and be open and honest with them about any doubts and questions you have. And as for the person who stated the fact that we’re all “RAVING” about our decision now but “we’ll see” how they feel a few years from now…. I’LL SEE YOU BACK HERE IN A FEW YEARS. AND I’LL STILL BE RAVING ABOUT MY LIFE WITHOUT A UTERUS AND HOW GREAT SEX IS. :))))

  • Tina

    I had a complete hysterectomy back in 04 i have not been the same in any way. my husbands and mine sex life has deteriorated. i need some advice it is still painful for me to have sex,if i sit to long it also hurts. PLEASE HELP ME……..

  • vicki childress

    Again…..all of these women are being hurt and nothing is happening to stop it. Has anyone sent a letter to their doctor? Let him or her (yes I had a female doc – thought I was safe..apparently not) know how your life has changed after this…..

  • 46-lisa

    I had a hysterectomy almost 3 years ago, about a week later i had to go back in hospital for a week because of a very bad infection from it, before all this, i wasnt really interested in sex for the most part, but about a year after, my sex life blossomed, i loved it, it is better than ever in my life, sometimes to the extreme that it drives me crazy and my husband def can not keep up. my doctor told me the warnings, and i was scared too, but if you are feeling like you do not have self-worth, self-esteem you should seek help with a consolor, it is the stigma that they put on taking a females repro organs out that could do this on a mental level and there is help for you. as far as gaining all kinds of weight, that is just an excuse, i am now the smallest i ever have been, under 60 pounds from my lowest weight but i eat different and work out now. inventory your life get help that you need and stop using this as an excuse.

  • Brenna

    I had a total hyster 5 yrs ago and have not been the same since. Have suffered with clinical major depression ever since, have been hospitalized twice and still take 3 antidepressants. I was borderline depressed prior to surgery, but the surgery really put me over the edge. There is NOTHING good about surgical menopause! It’s just NOT natural. Anyone contemplating surgery, please speak to your MD about retaining your ovaries. And for those of you with fibroids, there is another alternative to surgery. It’s called Uterine Fibroid Embolization (UFE). It’s usually done by an interventional radiologist using sedation. A beaded substance is injected into the uterine artery supplying blood to the fibroid. Cut off the blood supply and the fibroid shrinks! I’m surprised none of the posts even mention this. My best advice: check out the UFE 1st!

  • jessica rener

    I am 29 yrs old. I have not had a normal pap in 5,yrs. Sex has began to hurt. I hurt in my back legs and pelvic area all the time. My periods r dreadful and disgusting. I have had many tests. Dncs and I’m done having children. They say its endometriosis. A historectomy is my last resort. Scheduled for Oct.31 2011. What am I to expect afterwards and. R there other options and is it the right choice? I’m scared. Can someone please give me some advice. And help me not worry so much. I have one week. How’s recover? I want to be around for my two girls. Please help!

  • Jennifer

    I had a total vaginal hysterectomy 7 mnths ago. Before the surgery, I loved having sex, it was painful at times, but I had a great sex drive. Now, I have no sex drive. Once I get in the mood, it’s great, But getting there is the problem. I’ve recently discovered my husband has been looking at porn on the internet, which really bothers me. I love him, and I don’t want him to not be satisfied because of these changes my body is going through. Our stress and finances are the same as before my surgery, so I have to disagree with this article. It changed my sex drive for the worse!!!

  • Bernie

    My wife had a hysterectomy 4 years ago and we haven’t had sex once since then!

  • Lin

    The following quote is from the beginning of the article. Is there anything that can be done to fix this problem?
    “I didn’t know that in some hysterectomies, the ones where the cervix is removed, the top of the vagina is rolled down like a toothpaste tube and then sealed. Scar tissue will eventually grow in that area, which keeps it sealed. The problem with this is that some women who have had shortened vaginas spoke about painful intercourse.”

  • wkn2007

    My wife had hysterectomy about 6-7 years back. since then my life is spoiled. Initially she was having great pain while sex and stop immediately. later she left desire for sex. I am trying to have sex with her but she never say yes. she don’t have attraction towards any body neither for me nor for my children. after surgery she dont have loving heart.she has become rude and ill mannered. she even dont talk decently with my old parents. after surgery her behavour changed completely. she herself is a doctor but did not know about the after effect. I would say after surgery women does not remain women. she is pain for me now.

  • Vivian

    I had a hysterectomy 7 days ago and I had sex already. Does anyone know if ive done damage to my self.

  • R.M

    My wife of 18 years had a complete hysterectomy (ovaries and all) in 2008 because of a huge ovarian tumor that had grown large enough to press into her aorta.
    We had the most fantastic sex life, had many children, and our lives were the envy of our friends.
    Since then everything has changed. No sex, no joy, and it kills me to see her like this.
    She is on HRT, and it has helped with hot flashes/night sweats, mental fog and mood swings, but it has not improved our sex life and the physical changes to her body have upset her horribly.
    And we have been to doctor after doctor, but nobody can help.One doctor prescribed testosterone cream, but she gained 16 pounds using it and could not stop eating, so she stopped it. It wasn’t helping anyways, and it took her 6 months to loose the weight.
    She is also tormented by cluster migraines, arthritis and hip dislocation due to the surgeons cutting the ligaments that anchor everything in the pelvis.
    Its true that the tumor would have killed her, most likely by heart attack due to it being so immense and pushing into her aorta (resting heart rate was 160 bpm.).
    I lost my wife in 2008, I lost the funniest, more lively person I have ever met. I miss our life the way it was, and she is so disgusted by everything that has happened that she is tired of trying.
    Please, unless its a life or death situation, don’t have this surgery. And yes, things feel different.No friction, no little curve, just a straight shot into a big chunk of scar tissue thats uneven, hard and painful to us both.
    Can’t have sex with her on top (too short/shallow)side by side (atrophy of tissue makes penetration impossible) man on top (same as number one)we can only have sex with her face down.And thats hard because her hip comes out of its socket.
    All I wanted was for her to live. But maybe I should have listened to her and not pushed her to save her life.

  • mary

    i do hysterectomy 08 now i have a new boy friend i did not tell him, but he asked me about it, is there a difference when having sex he told me that he no the difference.
    can you tell me whats change

  • Vette

    Hello ladies, if u can help it Don’t have the surgery. I miss my cervix,my uterus and my cycle. My breast don’t feel connected when having sex. I feel like my vagina is gigantic. And I really feel like my man isn’t satisfied. He won’t say anything negative. But other than that I feel great. Everybody is different.

  • myriam

    i had a total hysterectomy in 2004 , after the surgery my sex life was 0, but everything is in your mind, ladies if you do not want to loss your husbands you better start working on your sex life, talk to your husband make him play more with your body, he has to learn how to make your feel good ,it can be done but it take the effort from your and your husband , do not wait until you loss your husband to find out that was a solution to your sex life, I hope I make senses believe me,you can enjoy sex after a total hysterectomy yes you can learn how to enjoy your body and ask your husband to learn with you, (sexy movies, toys ,hands ) anything that make you feel women again , do it for you and for your husband

  • Michelle

    Hi, I am a happily married 25 year old mother of 4. My Doctor told me that I need a hysterectomy due to cervical cancer. To everyone in my position, I have read plenty of comments that may scare most and even seen some positive ones (may God bless you for your encouragement) . Me myself, I’m pressing forward and standing strong. No matter what is going on, you should know and believe who God is. Yes, I may be going through a storm right now but you don’t tell God how big your storm is. You tell the storm how Big God is. ISAIAH 54:17-No weapon from against me shall prosper. God is with me every step of the way. He has kept me my whole life and he will keep me now and then. To you beautiful strong women walking along this road that I travel (but not traveling along), say with me.
    Oh Heavenly Father, forgive us for our sin. May you touch the hearts of the unbelievers; May they open up their hearts to you and may you strengthen the faith of the weak. Lord God we ask that in the name of Jesus that you keep us in perfect peace. Give us your peace that surpasses all understanding. Pertect us from any harm, hurt, pain, evil, wrong doing, and hindrance in our lives. Pertect us from any sicknesses, diseases, and infections. Let us heal properly in your name. Send your angels and holy spirit to camp out around and about us Lord, to pertect us day in and day out. In your word you said, JOHN 14:1-Let not our hearts be troubled (with fear, despair, hurt, pain, depression, regret, or loneliness) for if we believe in God, also believe in him(who gives us strength). Lord God we pray that you give our Doctors the strength, wisdom, and guidance to perform our procedures with care and carefully making no mistakes with your perfect guidance. Lord you are our creator. The author of the beginning and the end. You are the maker of our faith. Let our body perform and function even better as normal in every way, shape, form, and fashion after our procedure. Let us live free from stress and worry. Knowing that you are always in control. Lord we ask that you comfort and heal the hearts and lives of the one suffering negatively from this operation. Pertect and keep their relationship bonded from falling apart due to strain and draw them closer together. Go before us and confort the women that are in need of your grace and mercy. In Jesus name, we pray. Amen!!!

  • Purple Dog

    The bottom line is for most couples hysterectomy destroys their sex life. Hormones are permanently ruined and women simply aren’t interested ever again. I know. My wife had a TAH and we now have a sexless marriage.

  • Performer

    Thank you for the nicley written content. lots of useful sexual information.

  • LOST

    I had a total hysterectomy 5 years ago, it has been a constant struggle for me to have sex, not because it is painful, but just because I have hardly ANY desires to. Before the hysterectomy I loved sex and now it is hard because my husband thinks i am cheating or just not into him anymore…NOT the case but why cant i just enjoy sex anymore?? I use lubricants because of the constant dryness but it just is not the same. I honestly dont know what to do to make myself want my husband again.

  • Wendy

    I had a radical hysterectomy 4 weeks ago at age 51. I went through menopause very young, at 42 and that killed my sex drive for almost 10 years I just didn’t care about sex at all. I had numerous cancer indicators over the last 3 years, a large cyst that caused constant pain, and because of a family history if ovarian and uterine cancer I decided on total hysterectony. The constant pain is gone already and I an interested in sex. My clitores has full feeling as dies my vagina. I wonder if those who lose all interest Ub sex after hysterectomy are suffering from menopause which would happen eventually anyways. I was si depressed when I suddenly hut menopause at age 42 it was sudden and total and I had zero interest in sex for years. But, after you adjust its okay again… I have great orgasms and a satisfying sex life. I expect sex and other activities will be better for me without that constant pain.

  • Lyndaljane

    To #12..
    It’s sad to hear how badly things turned out for you. I had full hysterectomy at age 46 due to cancer, Im 4 weeks healing and have to say the best decision iv ever made. my sexual desires are still there, no full penetration yet, of course but other forms of love making can still be very enjoyable and orgasmic.

    Before the hysterectomy Sex was becoming very painful. I have had no menopausal symptoms. In my case everything has gone great, and we should realize that every woman is different

    Do not be scared off by experiences of others. Do your own research and ask a lot of questions. Also get yourself healthy and fit before the op. Eat well and exercise, be positive. A healthy body (cancer aside) means healthy mind. Those things will set you up for speedy recovery.

  • arti

    whether to use condem while doing sex after operation . please suuggest me. i have done my total hysteretomy 3 months ago.

  • normal man

    I prayed about our marriage today. My wife had her procedure done several years ago. It took about 2 years but sex ended, Totally. She is a shell of a person, personality changes, health issues abound, constant visits to doctors. Because of the silence over the damages done, men seem to not share the experiences. A number of my friends whose wives had the procedure are divorced. One friend said he couldn’t live with his wife anymore. I ignore the problem because attempting to discuss it with my wife leads to huge arguments. Weeks of silence and anger from her. I just live with a passionless woman now, not the same woman I married at all.

  • Glenn Contrarian

    My wife had hers done last year, and her personality has changed not at all. I would not assume that personality changes are the rule – they certainly are not. I would also suggest that there are more issues going on than simply the hysterectomy – but I wish the two of you the best in any case.

  • Natalie

    I have just had a hysterectomy 2 weeks ago. I am only 24 years old. I am one of the youngest women my surgeon (who was top of her field) operated on.

    my reason for surgery was excessive bleeding. i had to fight for my hysterectomy. I would love 3 pints of blood a week, spend £300 a month on santiary towels, and still pour through the 3 pads i had put on, nighttime super absorbant, doen to my knees in public. it was humiliating.

    they found some endo and rem,oved my right ovary because i had a polycystic ovary but left the left one in there as it was fine. they took my tubes, my uterus my cervix. everything but the left ovary.

    even with everyones scary comments about life being hell i dont find my self regretting the decision. I am still very much attracted to my partner, and we have sensual intimacy currently (as im only 2 weeks post op) that doesnt involve sex. I dont find i need sex to feel close to my man. cuddles, and gentle fondling and kissing… i still get excited around him.

    i am a bit nervous about sex after the 6 weeks are up, terrified of tearing as i dont heal quickly. we will probably take our time with it. he already knows he is going to have to put in alot of foreplay, and such before anything penetrative.

    i genuinely feel that we will be fine. why?

    because we have eachother. He is very supportive of me, my wellbeing, helping me recover, and ensuring that he doesnt cause me any pain. He is willing for me to take as long as i need to recover. There is support, there is closeness, there are bonds with our relationship that mean it is so strong that we can recover from it.

    i feel that this surgery was the right decision. my heart was straining under the pressure from losing so much blood constantly. i would have died without the surgery. He held my hand through it, he was tearful when i was put to sleep, watching that terrified him, but he was allowed to be there for me as i was so young and frightened. He was there when i woke, he got me what i needed, helped me shower, takes good care of me now, and cuddles and kisses me, and makes sure i know he still finds me just as sexy and attractive as before.

    the right support is needed. Sex maybe different. we both know that. He knows we will both have to learn my body all over again, because i may not respond in the same way as before. and thats fine. we have each other, and we will work through every setp. thats the most important thing. support.

    I am possibly the youngest poster on here, from the age of 21 i wanted a hysterectomy, the pain and severe bleeding was so bad my life was ruined. i couldnt work, i couldnt live, i couldnt go out without humiliation. i actually ended up having to wear those incontinence nappies in bed, changing them every hour. i was exhausted. i was a mess. he stuck by me, even tho we could only be intimate one week every 6. 21 years old having to deal with that, 24 years old and dealing with this. but we are doing it right.

  • Anna

    I had my uterus removed (cervix left) due to a fibroid, 5 years ago (43). My sex life has become a DISASTER, depression, bladder pain, backpain, legs and feet neuropathic pain,… I could go on and on what a miserable cripple it has made of me, and I had been sexual working young in body and spirit WOMAN. I was assured & induced to have a myomectomy but it was not successful. I could have stayed with my fibroid just as well. My ovaries and cervix alone …DO not make me any good, Whether partial or total hysterectomy, I advise you cordially: think about it well before you take the risk. I do NOT know how to “live” any longer, stuck close to the bathroom (urinating every 15 minutes) and with my sex partner …just taking me from a doctor to a doctor, and nothing can be restored. In those 5 years I have aged RAPIDLY and become an old-looking wrinkled unable to work …”woman”

  • Annabel

    Worst thing I ever did!!! No sexual feeling left in me at all now… Had total hyst removal of ovaries and take hrt. had a little to begin with but it’s all over now. My husband and I had the most amazing sex lives for 21 years of our marriage …. But I really do fear it’s all over now … Sex s too painful and has not one ounce of enjoyment for me any more. I am desperately sad about it … Can anyone help me???

  • Christina

    I had a hysterectomy 5 weeks ago. I have noticed heightened sensations after the surgery. I have always had a healthy appetite for sex; but it is super heightened at the moment. Some of that I am sure is from having to abstain for so long; but some of it is the intense sensations I have going on I think. Others here have said it and I believe it’s true to; it depends on your situation. Here are some factors that weighed in there for me:

    1. I was having long and painful menstral cycles which left me tired and anemic all of the time.

    2. I had postponed having the surgery for 20 years for all the same fears everyone here have expressed. At age 40 I finally decided to do it even though it had been suggested by many doctors over the past 20 years. I really gave it a lot of thought before doing it.

    3. Due to the nature of my previous two C-sections I had to have it done the old fashioned way with a wide bikini cut in the lower abdomen. I think the method used to do the hysterectomy factors greatly into the outcome of your sex life and other aspects. Discuss the different methods used for hysterectomies with your doctor. What was right for me or your best friend may not be what is right for you.

    4. I spent several weeks visiting websites and looking up different methods and options for hysterectomy. When the time came to do it, I was confident in my decision and my doctor. It turned out to be the best thing I have ever done for myself.

    A hysterectomy isn’t right for everyone and even those that must have one the timing may make the world of difference too. Do some research, talk to at least 5 doctors both male and female to get their thoughts on your particular case. If the doctor doesn’t seem helpful, discard their info and get a new doctor. I have found a female gyn to be best at helping us women understand the pros and cons; but don’t discount the value of male opinion.

    All that being said I leave you with this: research the pros and cons, choose doctors wisely, have an open but educated mind about which procedure offers YOU the best results, and know yourself well physically and emotionally. Good luck and I hope this was helpful.

  • Christina

    I also would like to say that Natalie really hits the nail on the head in her post. Support makes a big difference. It makes a difference in more ways than one and all of those ways are necessary. Mentally and emotionally a woman worries about the after effects of the surgery. She needs support to know she isnt alone if the after effects aren’t favorable. Physically her body WILL change. Hormonally her body WILL change. Emotionally her body WILL change. She needs the support to help her cope with so many changes. It may well be that the amount of support she receives will determine her end outcome after healing. It certainly helped me. My husband and I are much older than Natalie’s situation but our intimacy in and out of the bedroom is the same as theirs. He is supportive in every way. He isn’t demanding of sex or intimacy but lets me know he finds me desirable. He has treated me the same over the years no matter if I weighed 130 lbs, with long brown hair down to my waist, and DDD breasts like when we met; or weighed 210, with slightly shorter greying hair, and C breasts to lighten the load on my back. It makes all the difference in how a woman handles intimacy after a hysterectomy because for some women they have their identity in their womaness which includes having a uterus and breasts. Once those are taken away, she desperately needs support to find her new identity.

  • Sarah

    I had a total or complete hysterectomy where they took EVERYTHING about 1 1/2 years ago.. my sex drive increased but so did the pain, it felt like he was going to come right through me! I have had sex a few times since then because of the pain, my doctor gave me a hormone cream to inject into my self to thicken the top of the vagina so it’s not so painful. I waited about 6 months before I decided to try again and when I did we were not rough or anything but he DID bust through the top of my vagina and my intestines came out through my vagina because of that.. I had to go to the ER and they took me in for surgery right then and there to repair it! I’m so afraid to have sex now it’s not even funny but my sex drive is still way up there even after all of this!!! It was so embarrassing to go to the ER and tell them that my boyfriend broke my vagina!

  • jgp

    i am 48,i had the surgery feb 2009,and my sex drive was killed and i ask my dr every question concerning sex and she assured me it woild not change but it did, now i am trying to find out how to replenish my sex drive naturally. if you do not have to get it dont do it.

  • lee

    I just had hysterectomy removal of uterus and i was very scared, but im out of pain and have a high sex drive but not very sensitive to organisms anymore, but the feeling of being pain free from 24/7 pain is great, my husband of 14 years was fine with the surgery and we talked about how it might change our lives for good, but he didn’t care he said “it wouldn’t bother me if we ever had sex again, as long as your out of pain” but to our surprise it only got better. My doctor was going to try a procedure to stop the periods, i forget the name but it was a fast recovery and had to do with hot water bags ect…but my uterus was so inflammed he said he had no choice but to remove it. So for those of you who have very heavy periods and young ask your dr. about another procedure instead of hysterectomy. It didnt bother me cuz i have a boy already and i have other problems that i cant or shouldnt have anymore children, so this didnt bother the mother part of me.

  • Tanja

    I was 22 when I had a emergency hysterectomy after had a emegrency c section. I was a full nine months when I had my son. I basically died on the table. The hysterectomy was not a choice for me. However I have my life. My cervix and uterus where removed. A year after I went through menopause. The doctors recommended I take hormone replacemeant. Which I declined to take. Instead I dealt with my depression the best way I could. With help from some medication. It has been 15 years since. I am doing great. Sex life is great. Mentally I am great. I believe each women will have her own experience after her hysterectomy. Most of the time it will be a positive outcome.

  • Sexy828

    I am 33 years old and I had my uterus removed July 26,2011. My cervix and ovaries are still in place with no damage. I feel better. Fewer headaches, no pain, no cycles, and my anemia is OK. I think about sex all of the time now. I’m game for sex anytime and anyplace. My husband says that the only difference is that I want sex more. I was scared of the rumors of not having a bottom. I found out that it meant being too deep. He says no. I am happy that I had the surgery.

  • RC

    I have been diagnosed with fibroids and told that I should have a hysterectomy before the bleeding and other symptoms get any worse. After reading what the men on this page have written I have decided that I keep my hurting (most during my period) uterus as well as my husband and our sex life.

    I will get regular check ups (as I always have) to make sure that they are not getting too big. This is my body that I like the way it is. There are no signs of cancer just some abdominal pain and heavy bleeding during my period. This I can live with!! Having sex and good sex means a lot to me, therefore I am going to stay this way until further notice.

    I would like to say THANK YOU to all the men that were brave enough to post here. It is truly your words that have helped with this decision. Stay strong and for those of you that have stuck it out…..you are SAINTS.

  • connie

    I had to have a total hysterectomy two years ago due to three large fibroid tumors in my uterus,excessive bleeding, extreme pain and two blood transfusions due to blood loss and anemia. My health was more important to me and my husband than anything else. For over 18 years my husband and I enjoyed a terrific sex life. Afterwards our sex life became non-existent. It was painful and I had no sex drive. We researched everything we could find to help us

    For you women and men, patience, love, and understanding is most important factor to getting your love life back on track. We bought a lubricant for the dryness and took things really slow. It wasn’t about the sex, it became about the closeness. Yes, I won’t lie, it was painful at first, but we didn’t give up. A lot of cuddling, a lot of foreplay and gentleness and listening to each other. My husband would stop when I felt pain and we would just lay there while he either rubbed my back or just talked to me until I was ready to continue. I knew he would stop if I asked him to, but we kept trying and it eventually worked. Our sex life is now back on track and has been for over a year. Yes it took time but it was worth it. My sex drive is not what is was two years ago but it is there. I love my husband more now than ever before because he never gave up on me or us, even when we both thought our sex life was over.

    So for those of you struggling, there is a light at the end of the tunnel. If you love each other and have patience, it just will take some time. What also has helped me is I went to the health food store and bought natural estrogen. It helps with the dryness. Please do not give up. Your life is not over when you have a hysterectomy.

    I no longer have to have blood transfusions, the monthly pain is gone and I feel so much better. Good luck to all of you

  • Amanda

    I had a hysterectomy about 2 years ago they removed my uterus and both ovaries. After the initial healing I felt amazing for maybe 6 months then everything has gone down hill I have lost all my sex drive, it is not enjoyable about 90% of the time It is very hard to have an orgasm and the dryness omg is bad !This has absolutely changed my sex life and it is taking a tole on my husband for sure…Im thankful for him being so understanding and caring but I feel like Im not satisfying him, sex is a huge part of any marriage! I wish I would have known more at the time I was in excruciating pain for 6 weeks prior to my surgery and felt a little pressured that this was the only way to fix it! Me and my husband prior to hyst. were VERY sexual active, Ive never had a better sex life in my life….and now were lucky if its once a week!! And that once is usually painful or just no sexual desire in it!!! HELP!!! Does anyone Know what I can do…I have been on hormones..but havent been for a while, I do feel like I may need to take some …But they didnt help the sex issue!

  • colene

    I am 47 years old and had a total hysterectomy over 2 years ago. My husband and I have three children and are grandparents. Even though we didn’t want anymore children, the surgery made it more real. After the surgery I was watching T.V. in the hospital and seen a commercial with a baby in it. I started to cry knowing that I would never have another child. Crazy I know, I didn’t want anymore but this was permanent. I felt less than a whole woman. And to top it off I lost my sex drive and sex was painful. Add all this up I really thought my sex life was over and I would end up in a sexless marriage. That was unexceptable to me.

    I talked to my husband about all of my feelings and he was great. Everyday he told me how beautiful I was, what a great wife and mother I was, how much more sexy I was to him now. He would rub my back at night and caress me and tell him how much I excited him. It really helped. It made me feel like an attractive woman again even though I no longer had a uterus, ovaries, or cervix. I also went out and got my hair done bought new clothes and makeup. I started to realize I still was a whole woman.

    But the other problem still remained. Painful sex and no sex drive. I went on the internet looking for help. There was a lot of advice from men and women alike. I shuffled through and tried what I thought would help us. First I bought lubricant, then I bought some natural estrogen because without ovaries your body does not produce it. Then we tried the stretching exercises. I don’t mean to get to personal but this is a personal topic. Each night my husband would enter me and just stop. We would lay there and just talk and cuddle and touch for about ten minutes. The next time he would go a little farther and so on. Eventually it got more comfortable for me. Now we start slowly and it ends great. My sex drive has come back and we enjoy a great sex life once again. We still take our time but it is worth it.

    Not only did we work on the physical we worked on the emotional aspect also. The emotional part is just as important as the physical. So you men out there remember that your wives and girlfriends need reassurance that they are still attractive women. And you women need to realize that you still are whole attractive sexual beings. It worked for my husband and I. I hope it works for you.

  • sh gr

    do not get one

  • Toya

    i had a parsial hystorectomy only leaveing my ovaries in march 2012 and i feel geat but it’s really hard for me to orgasm i think i’ve had 2 i’m only 27 and never had a problem until now and i dont know how to tell my husband any advice please!

  • LD

    I had the robotic hysterectomy and due to Endo my uterus was stuck to my line that runs from the kidney to the bladder. Well Robotic part went great, but then they removed the stint and a week later I was in severe pain……….went to er thought it was a Kidney stone- set for surgery and didn’t make it til Tuesday went in for emergency surgery Sunday B-4. Scare tissue left behind got into the tube that ran from Kidney to Bladder/not a stone. I have a stint for another 2 months, but sex……I want it a lot. For those who are having troubles, try masterbating with your partner it is great! I am 41

  • no name

    Wife had total HSTY 8 yrs ago she said she can live without sex and if you don’t like it leave, we love each other but to try and hold her at night good luck, flowers, cards,weekend away. Nothing she doesn’t like taking pills or creams no kind of forplay once in 12 months ended badly i wish i could help her, for better or worse. Death to us part.

  • no name again

    i just don’t understand it there is so much we could but the lack of itmacey ,the best we do is hold hands, we say i love you to each other,sex is maybe 3 times ayear, what can i do.

  • M G

    I had a hysterectomy this year it hasn’t been 6months yet and my sex life suck my husband wants to have sex and I don’t its like I gets nothing out of it nothing is working for me could someone help me

  • Sleepless in Missouri

    Hi, I just had a complete hyst a little over. 2 weeks ago. I am 36 and have always had a tremendous sex drive. I had to have my surgery due to a large cyst on my left ovary, a fibroid tumor on my uterous and a massive amount of endometriosis. It had become painful when having sex, going to the bathroom and was even putting pressure on my bowels. I’m lucky enough to have 2 children, so I feel no less of a woman in that case. My main concern now is if the sex will still be as good. I have been told that 90% of it is mental, and if that’s the case i’m in for a great surprise! I still have my drive and I actually feel sexier knowing there is no possible chance of pregnancy. My man has been very atentative and doing his part to keep the juices flowing. So I know I have to wait atleast 6 weeks to have full intercourse, but does anyone know how long I need to wait to be able to have external stimulation or to masterbate? It is driving me crazy not even being able to satisfy myself or let my man touch me down there. I seem to be healing well. I am getting around well. Driving, doing laundry, grocery shopping, etc. I am generally only taking pain medication at night to help me sleep comfortably. So what do you think? I’m already having wet dreams and am not suffering any pain from them! Signed, Sleepless in Missouri

  • AJ

    My wife had a hysterectomy 10 months ago and today she has moved out because she is unhappy. I blame her change in mood and a desire to find some one else because of what the surgery had done to her. I worry about her but find it hard to be able to live this woman now. She is not the same woman.

  • ViVian

    my partner say that when we have sex that I strach his penis up it have a sorn place what is the problem with that

  • regretful woman

    I am VERY sorry I let a doctor tell Me I may have cancer and let him do a total hysterectomy on Me 2 yrs ago at age 38. I was a gorgeous Playboy Model, young and vivacious with healthy sex drive and could have multiple o.’s almost on command! Now I can barely orgasm with tons of stimulation and it always hurts and feels like hitting top of vagina. It has SEVERELY ruined My social life as no one wants a Woman who loathes sex now. :( Think twice- as I had the Best Surgeon AT GBMC Hospital who ran the dept. in Baltimore Md.

  • Sandy

    How comforting it is to read all your comments. I had a hysterectomy 6 years ago, I asked my consultant for reasurance that this would not affect my sex life as I would not have the procedure if it would. I was assured it would not.I no longer have any sex drive and no longer feel like a woman. I wish more than anything there was some magic potion available. My Gp dismissed me saying there was nothing she could do. I think woman should be told the full story and how it will impact on their lives.

  • jeff

    my fiance just had a hys. dont on thursday due to problems dont know if this will help anyone out but it sounds like it is basically how the person reacts to the surgery and how it is done everyones body is diffrent but so are the hands of diffrent doctors good luck to all of ya because i seen how scary the procedure was for my girlfriend but also remember this if your in pain now then why not get the surgery done to make the pain go away also my fiances dr. said that most smart drs/keep one ovarie in to help balance hormones

  • Laurie

    I had a hysterectomy last January. My husband and I had a very rich, satisfying love life. After the surgery, I have had no interest in sex. I had my uterus, cervix and one ovary removed. I no longer have orgasms. I had fibroids in my uterus and a small discoloration on one of my ovaries. My gyno had been suggesting a hysterectomy for several years. I hadn’t had any pain from the fibroids so I didn’t see what the hurry was to have surgery. I have had breast cancer twice and the risk for getting ovarian cancer after breast cancer is much higher. If I had it all to do over again, I wouldn’t have had my uterus removed. I miss the closeness that my husband and I shared, not just the cuddling, but all of it.

  • Karen

    I am scheduled to have my uterus removed on the 27th of November. I have always had very high sex drive with orgasms that lead to an out of body experience. Something I truly do not want to give up. Now a divorced mother of two, I have recently met Mr. Right. Our sex life has been great – morning, noon and night. Did I happen to mention that he is 8 years my junior. :) At 43,with my mother getting a hysterectomy before 30 and my younger sister having hers in her early 30’s, I am blessed. I will continue to pray through this and watch the wonderful things that God has in store for me. I will post updates as I go.

  • anna

    hi all,wow so many bad stoys and couple of good ones,here we go i dont speak often about it as its quiet upsetting,3 year ago i found out i got cervial canersince than had loads of treatment and 5 operations so now im left with have of my womb,but still the cancer is coming back and its exhausting thinking this time maybe my game is over and the cancer takes over my life and the sadest think would be i would leave 3 children behind which are just 9,7 and 6 years old oh by the way im 29 now,so docs decidet they want 2 remove my womb throw the vagina,my operation is happenening in 5 days time and im scared but happy 2 know i beat the cancer and he will not come ever back but than scared for what happend after the operations and all that,but i will come back hopefully and be able 2 tell you all,untill than good luck to everyone of you and all the best x

  • Debbie

    I can not beleave what i just read hysterectomy has no effect on womens sex drive or libido. what is wrong with you ? I have had a total hyterectomy and lost everything no drive no feelings could careless and its realy takeing it toll on my husban and me. I have talked to my doctor till i am blue in the face ,just thinks i am nuts , i would tell every women out there unless you have to have a total hysterectomy DONT DO IT!!!! its a chance you take if you are going to loss it all or not !!!!!

  • no name

    I have read alot of the stories on this site. I feel for everyone who has had a hard time and how their lives have changed. I had a total hysterectomy three years ago. Health wise it was the best thing for me. the pain is gone, no more blood transfusion. At least two of them a year. And with each transfusion you run the risk of getting aids or hepititas. I looked like I was six months pregnant because the fibroid tumors where so big. Yes my sex life did change and at first my husband and I thought it was over. We are in our 40’s. we still have alot of living and loving to do. It has gotten better. It takes TIME. Surgical menopause is very different than natural menopause. Everything is more intense. Mood swings, hot flashes, vaginal dryness. Instead of slowly going into menopause your are thrown into it overnight. I don’t believe in HRT so I went natural. Health food store. Did it works wonders overnight? No. Did it take time? yes. I now enjoy sex with my husband again. Not as often as before but at least over half of what it was like before. My sex drive isn’t as strong as it used to be but it is still there. the main thing for us was my health. I feel so much better having enough blood in my body instead of having to go get blood every six months or so. If you are thinking about having a hysterectomy research surgical menopause. It will give you a lot of insight as to what to expect. talk to your doctor and if he or she brushes your concerns off then look for another doctor. My doctor told me what to expect and addressed our concerns. In my case and probably a lot of others it is a choice between health and sex. My health is great now and my sex life is getting better everyday. It didn’t happen overnight but it did happen. research is the key and then you can make the best choice for yourself. good luch

  • Rebecca

    I had my hysterectomy back in 1996 i am now 47 years old and I love sex more now than I did before I had the surgery. I realize we are not all the same but this is how it worked for me.
    I am glad I had the surgery I would have bled to death if I didn’t.I don’t advise anyone putting off life threatening surgery just for sex, your life is worth more than sex.
    You may be like me and can’t get enough sex after the surgery.

  • mommy of 2

    I an 4 weeks out and i feel so much better!! Absolutely no more bleeding! Only 2 more weeks to go for full recovery! My husband and i are both very excited for the 2 weeks to be up!

  • Nancy

    I had my operation in 2010 and i was sexually low for afew months
    after which i want sex any time of the day without thinking i will be pregnant.I’m really having maximum pleasure.

  • maria ridendal

    After 3weeks of haveing a hysterectomy had sex an my cervix area started to bleed can anyone tell me why??

  • Corlette

    You will be glad you did!

  • corlette

    I know a lot of women who have heavy bleeding struggle with the decision to make the right choice for their bodies. For many years I had heavy bleeding. I tried everything to try and stop my bleeding. Then, you listen to these comments. Some negative and some positive. But, we may all have the same symptoms but, our bodies are very different. What ever you may have experienced I may have a totally different experience. You have to feel confident with in yourself to make your own decision. Cause at the end of the day it’s you and your body that’s dealing with the issues. So, with all that being said. I had a hysterectomy about 3 weeks ago and I struggled for many years with the decision. I am so happy that I decided on my own with the help of prayer, to have the surgery. I am feeling well. I didn’t have any problems. Just remember that pain is only temporary and that God will not put no more on you than you can bear. I can now wear white. My life doesn’t revolve around Fibroids I can live again. I haven’t had sex yet but, I am Horney. So, I have another month before I can have sex so I will update you. Thanks for listening.

  • no name

    I haven’t been on this in awhile but I do check in. It is sad to hear the stories of pain and frustration. I have said I don’t believe in HRT hormone replacement therapy and I still stand by this. It is linked to breast cancer. We have suffered enough without the fear of getting breast cancer. My doctor was very vocal about not giving me HRT. Once again i will tell you that I went to the health food store and got natural estrogen. The employees were very helpful and directed me to natural supplements that really really helped. they are not miracle remedies but they do help. It won’t hurt to try

  • Boyfriend

    My girlfriend (49 years old) had a total hysterectomy last April. She had had very bad endometriosis and fibroids. Basically, she had been bleeding constantly since Christmas. Prior to the hysterectomy, she had had an endometrial ablation, which didn’t accomplish anything. The bleeding got to be so bad, she had to have a blood transfusion to treat her anemia.

    Since her recovery from surgery, her sex drive is back to normal (which is to say high), and she hasn’t mentioned any problems with sensation or response. In fact, I would say that it’s improved our sex life, because there’s no more mentrual periods.

    The only down side is the early menopause. She started having hot flashes a couple of months after the surgery, and they’ve been going strong ever since.

    I guess everyone has a different experience, but for us, it’s been positive.

  • Marci olivera

    Wow! I read most of these comments, and I got to say, I’m so glad I got mine done b4 I read these comments. I to had a hysterectomy (fully) December 14, 2012, And I feel better then I have in 20 years, u c I too blead very heavely, my iron was always low to the point Drs. Wanted to do blood transfusion, always agains it, it got so bad, I was depressed, didn’t do much. I went to work cuz I had kids to support, but many times had accidents, lots of embarrassing moments, hassitaited with relationships. I did end up remarrying to a very understandable man,(8 years). I’m now 49, and I can’t express how excited I am for the rest of my life. I did tho broke the 6 week rule @4 weeks, I think I might have made it bleed more then it was and a lil pain, but not enough to keep me from doing it again, the second time was better, I felt dryness is probably the worst so far. I pray all of u can get through this in a positive way.

  • Exhaust All OPTIONS

    I wish I had seen this site before my hysterectomy. I am a 49 year old with a husband 7 years younger. We had a very robust and orgasmic sex life. Hysterctomy done with ovaries left. For first month after surgery sex was good…a little painful but still feelings. It has now been 6 months post surgery and sex interest is 0. Vagina very dry no lubrication anymore, very painful to have intercourse now and no feelings and hard to have an organism. I have tried everything lube, maca, to increase libido and lubrication. I will see my doctor in 2 weeks and I hope I can get some answers and relief or help. If anyone has found anything to HELP them with the lack of desire and libido after a HYst, please share. It is ruining my relationship which has been such a joy and blessing after a previous marriage. I wish I had never had the procedure and found other alternatives to help with the reoccuring fibroid tumer and bleeding, anemic. I had the emboliazation but tumor came back and grew within my uterus.

  • leigh Norris

    I had a TAH 3/12/12, had my uterus & cervix removed. I have had a couple of orgasms since op and have found them to be alot stronger. To the point that I burst into tears ! Hope that’s not going to happen everytime. Tried sex for the first time last night, plenty of lube. but no matter what position we tried it hurt like hell. So had to do other things instead. Could this be down to scare tissue inside ???

  • John D

    My wife had a complete hysterectomy in 1983 because of a ruptured ectopic pregnancy. Before the surgery she loved sex and I could hardly keep up with her. Afterwards she was put on Hormone Replacement Therapy and our sex life continued as a much diminished rate. When the report of the risks of HRT came out, her Dr took her off of it. At that time our sex life ended. That was about ten years ago. She lost all response in her genitals. Right now her clitoris is as responsive as her elbow, even direct stimulation with a vibrator does nothing. This leaves me in a difficult position because I still have urges but no way, other than masturbation, to deal with them. The only response the Drs have told us is putting her back on HRT, but that puts her at risk and she is afraid of doing that. I’m not real impressed with the medical profession’s response to this. This has happened to every woman we know that has had a hysterectomy and the Drs are just brushing it aside as baseless.

  • Sparkles

    I’m 47 yrs. old I had my hysterectomy in Sept. of ’04.I was told that my sex life was going to be great after the surgery and not to worry.I had an awesome sex life before and couldn’t imagine it being any better. Just before I was put under I changed my mind and just wanted to have my fibroids removed I was told too late and the nurse replied with we got a scared one put her under now. the next thing I knew I was in a lot of pain and I knew it was a mistake. my husband couldn’t wait until the 6 weeks was up but once we got the ok from my Dr.it was a total disaster no feelings at all. Oh God! what happened to me. my vagina was nothing but a hole. All of my nerves were damaged beyond repair. My husband finally cheated then he left. Itried to get the facts from my Dr. before hand but he said it was the right thing to do if I was not going to have anymore children. After I started having problems the Dr.had no answers or solutions for me. I was left a total mess but Im young and I refuse to give up on my sex life. After all these years I came across a man that love me just the way that Iam. Finally I enjoy sex and I have multi orgasms. I don’t always feel him but he seems to have a great time so I just go with the flow. If I had to do it over again I would not and if I was more educated about the aftermat I would have never done it. Second opions are always your best option. Ladies don’t give up on love, life or sex. There is someone out there just for you. As for the lost contractions I practice when I’m urinating. I let go then I squeeze and repeat. Surprisingly it works during sex as well so its not a total lost. God bless you all men/women alike.

  • sherry

    I had a total hyst when I was 27 I am now 31 and every woman is different so you can’t really go by what other women say its just a chance you take but I can say if there is a reason why you should have a hyst do it if you are in pain do it ….myself I had so much pain before mine I was miserable living on pain pills ..my sex drive was affected at first I would stay dry so it wasn’t fun anymore I could not take the estrogen so I had to go through menopause at a very young age but I can tell you now my sex drive nor my wetness is affected anymore …since I turned 30 I feel like a teenager I think about sex constantly and when I have sex it is always very satisfying also have the urge to masturbate more often…seems that I just have to have an orgasm at least once a day so ladies I can’t tell you what to do because I think its just different but I can tell you I feel much better and my partner is very satisfied as well good luck and hopefully you will be like I am lol

  • heath

    Don’t do it unless it will save your life. Its been a year since my wife had her radical hysterectomy.was able to keep ovaries. Sex life is nonexistant and we are probably bound to get a divorce.we were best friends before the surgery and now I am the enemy who now sleeps downstairs in the spare bedroom. It destroyed our marriage and our family.I am 31 and she was 26 at the time. We could have had a great life together

  • marice

    my vagina is shorter since my hsterectomy I cant have sex where I can take my fiancé all the way in it hurts? and it never used to? what can I do about that? and lubrication helps a little but not a lot? I worry that ill wont be able to enjoy sex again?

    • Angela

      I’m having the same issues as above! My husband and I connected beautifully and I could feel him rubbing on something inside and if I started grinding it would bring him and my self to an orgasm. (I don’t usually orgasm vaginally) Since my hysterectomy in Sept of last yr, my husband says he doesn’t feel like he’s fully inserted.
      My surgeon, nor his nurse have a clue! So my research has led me to it being because my cervix was what gave us that pleasure. So now what? Although I’m a very young and active 52 yr old, we have always been very sexually active and I’m concerned. He says I feel awesome, just not the same! I think you should be told about the chance of this happening pre surgery.

      • cat

        Hi I’m wanting some advice I had a total abdominal hysterectomy and tubal litigation after my last daughter. Due to excessive bleeding and I had cervical cancer long before that. And didn’t want to risk it. My husband and I have been together for five years this year and i turned 40 he’s 28. We’ve always had a satisfying hot sex life. But recently he has told me that it doesn’t feel the same down there anymore. He says he doesnt feel anything or very little when we make love. This is very distressing to me as it is causing a very big issue and I’m scared of losing him because the satisfaction for him isn’t there. I on the other hand have low sex drive but no other complaints and do not regret my choice except for this problem. What can I do to make it better for him I love making love to him but its becoming a make or break situation. Please help!

  • me

    Hysterectomy can ruin your body. Mine was needed for a tumor, but the nerves were cut and it has never been the same.

    • tee

      It will relax over time he has to now remember not to powerful right now slow deep in & out to help stretch muscles

  • Goofy

    My boyfriend says that sex isn’t the same since my total hysterectomy in 2009 I still have overuse but the took out uterus and cervix because of precancer cells!! Does anyone know how o get my vagina tight again or is there something I can do?

    • tee

      Sacral colpopexy by a ob gyn, awesome aginal narrowing & tightening covered by insurance for sexual health

      • tee

        Vaginal tightening

  • great aftermath

    I have had a laparoscopic assisted vaginal hysterectomy 2 months ago, cervix and uterus are out ovaries still intact. My sexual experience had been great before and now a whole lot better after the operation. My mind is clear no more heavy periods a whole new experience for us.

  • Dwayne Sybesma

    My girlfriend hand one years ago when we started dating 3 months ago we had sex every night but its almost two weeks now she wont touch me and says she doesn’t feel like it she wont kiss or hug me i need some help