Sean Penn has shown up in New Orleans to save the day!
Spicoli showed up overnight with a boat to personally go rescue stranded children in New Orleans, but the thing sprung a leak and didn’t get far.
He’s just trying to help out The Children. Why do you hate The Children so much Al? It’s a subtle distinction. It’s not The Children in general that I feel contempt for, but the 45 year old manchild incompetently trying to commandeer our nation’s worst natural disaster for a cheap public relations ploy.
For starters, he’s showing up WAY late to be out on this kind of rescue mission, and has no apparent connection to organized rescue efforts. He just showed up with his entourage and a personal photographer with the apparent intent of just wandering around looking for a good photo op.
Did I mention that he shows up for a rescue mission with a PERSONAL PHOTOGRAPHER? Such a person would be not just useless, but obviously a positive hindrance- if your goal was helping out hurricane victims. Of course, if your goal was just to put on an act for the cameras and convince everyone that you’re a HERO, this deal makes more sense.
You can easily imagine the photo that he was hoping for. Imagine Sean Penn standing in a boat with a Jesus look on his face, cradling a freshly rescued dirty, wet and miserable child lovingly in his arms- preferably a brown or black one.
Instead, the boat sprang a leak near immediately, and the image we end up with is Penn with his little red plastic cup frantically trying to bail the water out of his toy boat.
On the plus side, at least no real emergency response crews had to stop their work to go rescue the little boy out playing “hero” in the water.