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Scorpio Lover Says It’s A Timing Thing, Cancer Frets: Astrology-Based Advice

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Dear Elsa,

I recently became intimate with a Scorpio man whom I have talked to and been friends with for the past three years. We recently had a blowup about sex, friendship, what he calls "timing" (not having any time), etc. I said I wanted more sex and friendship, and I probably ended up seeming like a needy, out-of-control idiot. I almost cried a few times, for he was being quite cold and cruel. I believe he is haunted by his sad past, as we all are in some way or another.

All the anger and crap aside, I really like him and he says he likes me although I believe he could cast me aside with little or no regret. I haven’t tried to talk to him for a week, which seems like forever when I have so much to say. It will be hard to forget him because I don’t want to.

cancer zodiac horoscopeYour advice is often quite poignant. Do you have a sage astrological viewpoint for me? Thanks!

Gal Pal Set Aside

Dear Gal Pal,

I’m sorry but I don’t think this guy is more than mildly interested in you and then only if nothing else is available. So obviously I don’t think you should be holding your breath, messing with him again. In my experience, once Scorpio loses interest in you and once they take their energy off you, you’re pretty much cooked.

He was within his rights to lose interest, but I’ll tell you what bothers me. It’s the idea that you feel like you were a “needy, out-of control idiot.” That right there is a problem. If you want to get something out of this experience, then I would let him go (he is already gone) and focus on where this negative self-talk is coming from.

Here are the facts: People lose interest in other people for all kinds of reasons, and frequently they have nothing to do with the dumped person. For example, let’s say this guy is in love with Susie Q, but they break up! He’s horny or he’s lonely, and he sees you and says, “Hey! I’ll do this! This’ll make me feel better!”

That never works. So a few days later, or a few weeks later, or if you’re really unlucky, a few months later, this guy says, ”Crap man. I just can’t do this. I really love Susie Q.”

So what do you think he’s going to do – tell you this? Not likely. Maybe if he’s a Sadge he will, but that aside, it’s hard to say which would be easier on you – “It’s a timing thing,” or “I love this other woman and have been using you." 

I am not saying this is what happened. I have no idea what happened, but hopefully you can see my point. His loss of interest likely has little to do with you and certainly did not come about because you sneezed, had a need, cried a tear, or whatever.

Look at your reaction. I just don’t want you torturing yourself over the idea you had this dream guy and then took one misstep, and that if you hadn't then everything would be peachy. So please work on your thinking. Why is he the dreamboat and you the needy blah blah blah? Why can’t he just be an experiment of yours that failed, hmmm?

Please spare yourself, okay? The guy is gone and it’s just as well because he’s not the man for you! When you find the man who is and you cry a tear, he'll wipe it for you and kiss your face. That's the man you're looking for. This other is merely an also-ran.

Good luck.

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About Elsa

  • sal varriale

    very interesting read… i’m a scorpio man, who would do anything for a cancer gal like u…. [Personal contact info deleted]

  • S.B

    After

  • ConfusedPisces(theusual)

    I love this scorpio guy to bits and pieces and after almost a year of being friends and two years of dating, things seem to have been falling apart. I know scorpio pisces is a match made in heaven and that is nothing short of true. I know I am the center of his world and he mine and THAT is why it hurts like hell when he becomes cold. How can you become cold to someone whom you claim to love more than anything. The major change that happened between us was the fact that I moved to the U.K to pursue my masters and he is back in India, and I believe we were going fine. It’s so stressful to move to a whole new place and now he has changed so much and I admit that I may have not been able to give him the love and attention he deserves( it takes time to settle down) , but I tried. I apologized for it only to go back to worse again. And tongiht we finally broke up. I think I saw it coming. After the tears and the saddness, I cant seem to shed a single tear now. I miss him so much, he was the center of my world and I feel like a deep void has replaced his place in my heart. I don’t know how I will get through this or if I will ever forget his feel, touch or his gentleness but I have to try. It’s better to call it quits than to watch the empire of dreams you’ve built with so much of affection break brick by brick. I do hope with all my heart , he is happy in his own world . The worst part is knowing he feels exactly the same and yet no words seem good enough to rid ourselves of the hurt. We’ll just be two lonely souls swimming in the world…missing each other…but not able to unite again…