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Scooby-doo sucks.

I realized that when I was about five. Scooby-doo was an insult to my intelligence. It was the same thing every week. The kids drive into a new town and find there is a ghost/vampire/werewolf, what have you. Everyone is afraid except the gang. They don’t believ in ghosts. The wander around the haunted house/amusement park/junkyard, whatever, having misadventures with the ghoul of the week. Then Velma loses her glasses and, usually literally, stumbles across a clue. Fred figures it all out and tells the police that there was no monster, it was Mr. Blank and that he was doing it to get the diamonds/oil/gold, etc. And he would have gotten away with it “except for those meddling kids”. The end.

It’s boring. It’s always the same. It would be fairly easy to write a computer program to generate Scooby-doo scripts. Even the writers seemed to realize this. In the first series they had some sort of horribly cheerful and upbeat song during the ghost chase scene. Later they did away with the music and started having famous people come on, Don Knotts, Mama Cass, even Cher. Then they added Scrappy-Doo, who is universally reviled. Later they made the kids pre-teens.

It’s just such a cliche, I don’t understand why it’s such a loved show. Some people seem to love it because it’s so horrible. People wear Scooby-Doo trucker hats or what have you. Others seem to love it because it’s a blank slate so they can add whatever subtext they like to it. I dated a girl from Smith college who had this theory that all the characters were representations of students from different schools. Fred was from Princeton, Scooby was from the University of Vermont. Everyone else was from some Ivy league school or the other. I said, “So, what, Velma was from Smith?”
She gasped in horror, “No, Daphne was from Smith!” Which totally wasn’t what I knew of the colleges….I thought Smith girls were all frigid lesbians…needless to say that girlfriend lasted about a month. What do I know? I went to a small southern state college. I wouldn’t recognize post-modernist Michel Foucault if he jumped up and bit me on my “other”.

Others, though, seem to love it in a non-ironic and non-postmodern way. They laugh while I’m so bored I’m setting there trying to analyze the sub-text of the show. I watch them and try to figure it all out while they laugh their asses off.

I think too much about crap like this. Pass the bowl and change the channel. I think Nigella Bites is on. She’s this hot English babe who cooks. Maybe I’ll review that in the future.

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About H. Wayne Nix

  • The Theory

    I watched the schooby doo movie sunday afternoon. it was a riot.

  • Most likely, the biggest attraction of Scooby Doo now is just pure nostalgia. A less than bright 5 year old might minimally get a chuckle out of minor stuff like just the sound of Scooby’s voice. Twenty years later, the re-runs give you some minor flashback to pleasant Saturday mornings of your youth.

    To that end, I personally would prefer Hong Kong Phooey.

  • duane

    I challenge anyone to name a good cartoon show that Hanna-Barbera produced, besides The Flintstones, Jonny Quest, and Wacky Races. I hate Lippy the Lion the most.

  • Re: Hanna-Barbera- Yogi Bear? Huckleberry Hound? The Jetsons?

  • duane

    Yogi sucks.

    Huck sucks.

    Jetsons, ripoff of The Flintstones…well, this deserves some thought….no, it sucks, too.

    Next you’ll bring up Punkin Puss and Mushmouse.

    How’s that for an in-depth analysis, Al?

  • I loved Quick Draw McGraw during my very young years. And Augie Doggy and Doggy Daddy.

  • Taloran

    My younger son loved Scooby when he was 3, and still likes it now that he’s seven. My older boy still gets a kick out of it as well. It even makes me chuckle once in a while.

  • My seven-year-old loves Scooby and the gang too (though not the execrable Scrappy Doo). In fact, I saw the Scooby movie and did enjoy Scrappy getting it in the end. (Hope I didn’t spoil it for anyone — in any case, outside of that and a joke involving the song “Pass the Dutchie,” it isn’t really worth seeing anyway.)

  • JR

    Nigella Lawson: definitely hot

  • Chris Wilson

    “Scooby Doo” is to animated cartoons what “The Brady Bunch” is to TV sitcoms. Excessively awful, but comfortable in a fuzzy teddy bear kind of way. Both are best served in small doses. And besides, wasn’t the best episode of “The Brady Bunch” when they solved the ghost mystery on Halloween? You know, that episode where the ghost comes down the stairs on a string? Everyone loves a good ghost story……

  • Eric Olsen

    The movie was pretty funny and had bodacious tatas and whatnot, but the cartoon has always been lame – even our 4 year-old said “they’re all about the same.”

    But I love Hanna Barbera’s Huckleberry Hound, Yogi Bear, Quick Draw McGraw (“Queeekstraw”). The Flintstones had its moments, Wally Gator rocked, and the Banana Splits is among the highlights of TV history (“Tra la la, Tra la la la …”). The rest is pretty much crap – chronology here

  • Ah, the Splits! Love love love Fleagle and Co.

    Lily is a bright kid. So is my David, who also has noticed the similarity of each ep — every damn time he sees the show, he recites the line along with the baddies at the end: “And I would have gotten away with it if it hadn’t been for those meddling kids!” Still, he likes it. Go figure. Better than crack and video games, I guess, and he’s not hanging out with weird pop stars.

    Who was the mountain lion character who always said, “Exit — stage left”? Was that Snagglepuss? He was kinda lame.

  • Eric Olsen

    Nat, I have zero doubt you have two very bright, sweet, tough kids.

    Lily likes the character Scooby-Doo and will watch as a result. Who doesn’t like the character? Too bad the cartoon isn’t as good as the character.

    Yeah, Snagglepuss, “Heavens to Mergatroid.”

  • That’s the one. I do like that line.

    Yeah, my kids rock, though Christy has been especially surly of late. Tell Lily to go from 14 to 16; 15 is hell.

    Another question: Is Droopy Dog a Hanna Barbera creation?

  • Eric Olsen

    Kristen was a total pain in the ass at 15 also, weren’t you Kristen? (she reads sometimes). Chris wasn’t too bad, been a little testy since he’s been 16.

    I don’t see any reference to Droop in the HB chronology

  • Ah, that is right; you are the voice of experience with teenagers. Which means we actually may survive this. Bless you, Eric Olsen.

    Thanks for the Droop scoop.

  • Eric Olsen

    My pleasure Nats! I’m sure you will all come out of the Dark Ages just fine. It seems to require a very finely calibrated unreeling of the line to allow just enough freedom but not too much, just enough responsibility but not too much, staying in tune but not conducting too vehemently, etc.

    And then they are back to normal – at some point, anyway.

  • Wait, don’t be bad mouthing Yogi Bear. He’s my role model.

    Smarter than the a-ver-age bear!

  • Eric Olsen

    I thought it was “smarter than the average pic-a-nic basket”

  • The new Scooby Doo cartoon movies are good, mostly because they are able to joke about the old cartoon cliches they created.

    Oh and Quick Draw McGraw is probably the best of the the HBs, El Kabong!

  • Nyx

    Snagglepuss was so gay. He was even pink.

    Droopy was by Tex Avery. I think Hanna-Barbera might own the rights today, though.

  • “Snagglepuss was so gay. He was even pink.”


  • I challenge anyone to name a good cartoon show that Hanna-Barbera produced, besides The Flintstones, Jonny Quest, and Wacky Races.

    Dexter’s Lab

  • Hank Delisle

    Scooby Doo is pure animated feces. They should call it “Scooby Doo-Doo.”

    If I were going into the same situation as the Scooby Dorks, I’d carry a 9-millimeter semiautomatic and plenty of ammo and open fire on any ghoul who tried to scare the bejesus outta me. Then I’d say: “Sorry. I didn’t know it was some idiot in a costume.”

    On a side note, the “Three Stooges” who guest starred on one episode were not the real Three Stooges. How do I know? They weren’t smacking each other silly.

  • Josh

    Wouldn’t Tom and Jerry be one of the HB cartoons? If so. I do believe that this one beats out ALL others

  • Snuffles Wolfson

    Wtf are you people talking about? I am 30 and I have loved scooby doo since i was born.heck, i even have a scooby doo e mail address. Whats wrong with it? it’s a talking dog with a funny accent. whats wrong with that. It is the most popular and the best show HB made.

  • Scoobyshooter

    I couldn’t agree more. The show was stupid. But what’s worse is that the scooby doo format was copied so blatantly by the HB production company that I’m amazed they didn’t sue themselves for copyright infringement. You need look no farther than a show called “Fangface”. It was hideous. It even lifted the format for the opening credit sequence from Scooby Doo– right down to a secret panel opening behind the girl who gets grabbed from behind. But what really irritated the hell out of me was that Frank Welker did the voices for SO MANY of the characters on the show. Frank Welker is an over-rated hack. When Mel Blanc did voices, Bugs Bunny sounded like Bugs Bunny, Yosemite Sam sounded like Yosemite Sam, and Porky Pig sounded like Porky Pig. When Frank Welker does voices, Sherrif Dobson sounds like Frank Welker, Mister Burke the carnival owner sounds like Frank Welker, and Crazy Old Sven the lighthouse keeper sounds like Frank Welker. It was horrible. I don’t know why everybody doesn’t see just how thoroughly Scooby Doo sucks! And another thing: if the kids are going to walk somewhere, would it have killed HB’s quality control people to actually have the kids feet moving at the same rate that the scenery was moving by? GOD! That used to drive me NUTS! Oh wait– that’s right; Hannah Barbera didn’t HAVE a quality-control department. But there was only one TV in the house and my spoiled sisters always got to choose what we watched to keep them from throwing a fit. I hate Scooby Doo (and I’m none too fond of my sisters either, even twenty years later)

  • Steve Carras

    I’ve generally resented Scooby, for giving a bad parade of brids cricling around a poor guy’s head to Hanna-Barbera, becuase this is the most promoted toon of theirs, and it is one of the m,ost mediroce and people see it, and they hold Scooby AGAINST H-B in general..you’d be also off just as well subbing any of the SUBSEQENT toons in the place of Scooby as well.

    Bugs Bunny ws a huge infleunce on Sangglepuss, Pixie and Dixie (who had Tom and Jerry and Hubie and Bertie as influence there!), Hokey, Yogi, Top Cat, barney Rubble, and Fred Flintstone had a temper to almost match SHannon Doherty, and Jackie Gleason’s Ralph kramden, but with the heart as wlel of them, (yes, admittedly, the kother SD did..) and the heart of an elephant, or should I say, LOL MASTODAN or MAMMOTH (and the APPETITE of one,too!)

    But the point’s that the characters that HB did earleir for their won studio were classics, specifically the earlier pre-1965 ones, like late 1950s ones with Quick Draw McGraw, Ruff and Reddy, Yogi, Huck, etc. with the famous music libraries so often used in thsoe days like Capitol Production Music, Langlois Production Film Music, EMI photoplay, etc. and the voice masterwork of Don Messick & Daws Butler, and Doug Young, Janet Waldo, Julie Bennett, Mel Blanc, Paul Frees, Alan Reed, Jean Vanderpyl, Dick Beals, Bea Benadaret, Hank Corden, Herb Vigran, Frank Nelson, John Stephenson (who by the weay, if I’m not mistaken did MOST Scooby Doo villians in response to that above post! and btw Fangface was Ruby Spears, but they were a spin off of HB), Hal Smith, Howie Morris, Al Melvin, Vic Perrin, Gerry Johnson, Mike Road, Bill THomspon, Mike Rye, and possibly Stan Freberg, to name just a few, plus Howard Hanson’;s swell produciton design, the peacky-poo backgrounds and layout work of Carlos Vinci, Fernando Monteleagre (ahh! spelled it RIGHT!:) , the supreme animation of Carlo Vinci, Eds Aardal and Love, Hicks Lokey, and Jerrald Hathcock, to name just a few,. And Snooper and Blabber, the tom and jerry of the Nancy Drew/Sherlock world, predate Scooby Doo and had the kitshcy-cool, Captiol/EMI music used b y John Seely Associates for those six fall 1958 Warner Bros.cartoons (“Weasel While you work”,”Hook Line adn Stinker”O), and Screen Gems.

    Scooby Doo fans have their place but a lot of fans of the show (which has, in my humble opnion, caused Hanna-Barbera to be seen as kind of a goody-goody studio by cyncial “Nickelodeon” fans) have caused would be “nerds” (actually, the term, and animator Ray Pointer once used this in that context on the GAC Forums to describe Walt Disney haters, is used in quotes in context in irony!!!), or rather anti-nerd full-of-themselves snobs to diss HB for all its TV shows, This has caused folks to judge Hanna Barbera by Scooby standads, rather than judging by Yogi.:) or Fred., Or the Jetsons,. Judy is HOT!

  • Steve Carell

    Right on brother. SCOOBY SUCKS!!!!!!!!!

  • suzanne

    Does anyone reallize that it is a cartoon? and your spelling needs improvement.

  • Dan

    I can’t agree more…

    This is the worst show in history of man kind.. Its BORINGGGGGGGGGGG!!! and trust me.. I do love cartoon… I watch them everyday.. But this is unacceptable.. I cant’ take… more than 2 min; I sit at my computer with my tv on.. and I cant even have that show as background ‘noise’ because its even boring that way.

    I hated that stupid crap of “UNMASKING” the villain.. how stupid… normally you would unmask it like 2 or more times until you got the REAL face..

    SCOOBY DOO!! Please VANISH FROM THIS PLANET!! we dont need you.. we dont want you….!! YOU SUCK!

    I’ll keep my time with TOm & Jerry…. nothing better than that.

  • unknown

    You are complete idiots i love this show its a classic its not about how the plot line is alwys the same its the laugh you get out of it

    Scooby doo is the best i love the old reruns and i could watch scooby doo all day stop raggin on a kid show dont you have better things to do1

  • Big smoke

    I love scooby doo, But yea i know what you mean they do you same thing but it classic. [but the new scooby doo’s are crap, old ones are the BEST!!!]

  • Big smoke

    Also unkown is corect it is great!!!! while steven carell on the other hand is a sad person!

  • oregoncody

    That must be why Scoobert has stood the test of time… If its so stupid why has it been in and out of trendyness for 30+ years from child to adult alike… come on people get a life and start complaining about the GARBAGE on the tube for our youth today. Even cartoons have gotten so PC! Example)teaching our kids spanish before they have learned the primary language we speek in America ( dora ). Sooner or later they will introduce a toon teaching our kids about accepting gays. Just let them be kids and watch Scooby, the jetsons, and etc. And expend your energy on the garbage that robs them from being a kid.

  • Publius

    I found this blog by googling what turned out to be the ttile of the article. I am so relieved to find that I’m not the only one who feels this way. For years, my reaction to this brainless bundle of c**p has made me feel like Bob Newhart; all those episodes when he was the only sane person, so everyone else thought he was crazy.

  • darkshape

    Scooby Doo sucks sooooo bad, I mean SOOOOOO bad

    All the villains are completely retarded and so clumsy that cant even catch a cold. And Scooby and the GANG are plain old brain-dead! I realized that when I was frekin 8. I am what I am today coz I realized half the world has to be frekin morons to watch that lame show.

    H&B were HIGH when they made that show .. probably crack .. idk

  • Anonymous

    You idiot, stuff like this is always funny because it is completely predictable, that’s what makes it good.

  • Jack

    Seriously if you use your head to watch a cartoon where you are not supposed to use your head, you are just plain retarded. I mean It’s just a damn kids show for Christ’s sake. Fuckers

  • personman

    i dont think tom and jerry is HB.

  • personman, think again

  • Jeff

    I really hate the mechanic of Scooby-Doo. Saying things that even a 3 years old would get out from the situation really sucks.

  • Sarah Goodwich

    When Scooby Doo first came on TV, I couldn’t understand how anyone could watch something so boring and stupid after other great cartoons like Jonny Quest, Skyhawks, Hot Wheels etc. It was worse than anything by Sid&Marty Croft, and it inspired some even worse copycat-cartoons like Goober&The Ghost Chasers, Clue Club, and the Funky Phantom– some of which can be seen on Boomerang network or Youtube– AND if you have a strong stomach and a big bottle of No-Doz.
    The “Mystery Solving Meddling Kids” was the most obnoxious formula ever, and Scooby Doo was the one that spawned it. It’s not even like the musician-groups that were actually doing something when they stumbled across a mad scientist, these are just a bunch of nosy hippies going around looking for trouble.

  • Sarah Goodwich

    P.S. Nigella’s fat.