IT'S BIG! IT'S BOLD! IT WHITENS! IT BRIGHTENS! IT SLICES! IT DICES! It's the cyber-sensation that's sweeping the nation! It's hours of fun for the whole family! It's the amazing:
ADVERTISING SLOGAN GENERATOR!!!!
FOLKS, LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT this revolutionary little tool. It's so easy to operate, even a child can do it! Here's how it works:
All you do is enter a word or phrase (like your name, the name of your blog, your favorite politician, or anything you like), and the Advertising Slogan Generator will generate incredible ad slogans for you in big bold headlines. Just press the "sloganize" button for a brand new slogan, oven fresh from the generator. Comes out perfect every time!
Created through the wonders of cyberspace technology, the Advertising Slogan Generator has so many uses. In your camper or R.V., it'll keep the kids amused for hours as they sloganize every dirty word they can think of! At work, enter your boss's name or company logo to see how many embarrassing slogans you can create and e-mail to co-workers! Great at parties too.
HOW OFTEN HAVE YOU ENDURED THIS? You're on a road trip, and the kids are getting restless. They're screaming and fighting, and you're about to have a psychotic break and drive into the nearest tree. But wait--it's Advertising Slogan Generator to the rescue! Just log on and the kids can have fun and be creative too! (Laptop with cross-country wireless capability not included). Instead of crawling up your ass, they'll be busy coming up with gems like these:
A Fart's too Wet Without One.
Break me off a Piece of that Poop.
Poppin Fresh Boogers.
Now, isn't that amazing? But wait--there's more!
CALLING ALL AMERICANS! WANT TO SHOW YOUR SUPPORT FOR THE PARTY OF YOUR CHOICE? The Advertising Slogan Generator makes it easy to come up with great bumperstickers like these:
A Day without Dubya is Like a Day without Sunshine.
Choosy Mothers Choose Cheney.
Mama Mia, That's One Spicy Hillary Clinton!
Article comments
1 - uao
I stumbled across this by accident, and being a sucker for such gadgets, I experimented with it a bit.
This would have been a cool device if it actually "generated" slogans based on keywords you enter.
However, all it does is plug your keyword into an already existing slogan, that's been written (and copyrighted) I presume by someone else. So nothing is really "generated", alas.
Using "Blogcritics" I get:
My Anti-Drug is Blogcritics
There's Only One Blogcritics
Kills All Known Blogcritics - Dead.
Bet You Can't Eat Blogcritics
Blogcritics. It's What's For Dinner.
I gave up after that. The cast of the Apprentice could do a better job.
Sorry; can't share the enthusiasm. I'll give it a 2 out of 10.
2 - Dave Nalle
Their ebay feedback generator uses the same principle and is actually quite useful. I think 90% of the people on ebay may actually be using the thing.
As for the ad slogan generator, mine was:
"promotes active anal rape!"
Not sure how well that will sell.
Dave
3 - Elvira Black
uao:
The gizmo doesn't seem completely random to me--it seems to work better on two-word phrases for some reason. But here's a few for you:
IT NEEDN'T BE HELL WITH UAO.
PROBABLY THE BEST UAO IN THE WORLD.
UAO: IT LOOKS GOOD ON YOU.
Hey, I'm sold on you already! After all, YOU CAN DO IT WHEN YOU UAO IT.
4 - Elvira Black
Dave, Dave, Dave--you must have been looking at some nasty-ass X-rated version. Now don't these sound more flattering?:
A TOUGH DAVE NALLE TO FOLLOW.
HAPPINESS IS DAVE NALLE SHAPED.
GOT A DAVE NALLE? YOU'RE IN LUCK.
See? My generator would never say such nasty things. The most off-color thing it said about you was that you were NAUGHTY, BUT DAVE NALLE.