What's Eating You?

There's a devil wrestling with every person with an eating disorder. He whispers to them; you're not good enough. You don't deserve this food. You need to be perfect. You're not perfect enough to be loved.

I used to have an eating disorder. What helped me was reading feminist writings on the subject. They helped me to see how having so many females in a constant state of self-loathing was not an accident.

Don't you think it's more than a coincidence that every person with an eating disorder has almost identical thoughts?

There is a big connection between perfectionism and eating disorders. In case you think the snippiness and faultfinding is confined to yourself, that's seldom the case. Just ask those around you. Where you might start to unravel this ball of twine is Fear. Perfectionism is always on some level fear of not being good enough, often brought on by an overly critical parent. Sometimes it was a parent who was not affirmative enough, which allowed perfectionism the room to creep in. Allow yourself a safe way to express fear of not being good enough, either to a friend, therapist, or a journal. That might start to deflate the perfectionist demon. Another way to attack it is on an ideological basis. Think about this:

Perfectionism is particularly destructive when applied to a human body. Bodies are living things. You might think that your body is endlessly malleable and try to alter it to fix this year's fashions. I have seen that that kind of thing is really destructive in the long term. You might need more life experience to see that yourself. Trust me:

Keep yours healthy and reasonably fit, and learn to accept it. If your body isn't in fashion right now, it might be later. These things go in cycles. Adapt the current fashions to fit your body, not the other way around. You might think you need a flat belly to wear bare midriffs. What you really need is to dress up the best you can, accessorize, get a hot hairstyle and act like you're The Shit. Try it. If there's something that really bothers you about your body, get it taken care of, but don't alter your body like it was a dress. Carry yourself with pride; you are an example to younger girls and women. Remember:

[The Devil] despises womanly curves. He despises natural female bodies. There's nothing that the forces of darkness like more than to make a woman hate herself. There's nothing that disempowers them more than when she stops

Life is not something to begin later when you are perfect, because you ain't never gonna be. No one else is, either. Get out there and live your life in the body you have now. Your participation is needed. The world is waiting for your contribution:

Article Author: Cerulean

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