For those of you unfamiliar with my newly discovered giftiness, learned at the feet of the master of shameless self-promotion, the great Stephen Colbert, you might want to quickly peruse two articles trumpeting my success in getting the good folks at Jameson Irish Whiskey to reward me for my long-term support via my tag line, In Jameson Veritas. First. Second. (Latest news: I’ve received Jameson Rarest Vintage Reserve, an extraordinary whiskey that rivals the finest cognacs, and I have been assured other premium Jameson products are on the way.)
I have spent the last few months pondering my next move. I considered Ferrari, but even if I were able to convince them to send me one, I probably couldn’t afford the upkeep. How about a nice 42” HDTV with a Bose surround sound system? Good choice. Likelihood of success, minimal. A Wii would be great, but I discovered years ago that those games had advanced far beyond my aging 
abilities.
Last Thanksgiving, at a friend’s house, I discovered that she owned a Kindle. I scoffed and sneered in my best condescending fashion. Books are books, not electronic bits and bytes held in a small device. Books are to be cherished. One stands before a well-stocked book shelf and is at peace with the world. Running fingers over the bindings in search of something to read or simply remembering fondly the joy of reading a certain work would be lost if the book shelves were bare and all one had was a 8" x 5.3" x 0.36"…gizmo. While I do have CD players, I also still have my turntable and vinyl albums, most older than Amazon itself (although, if I must be honest, playing records is a pain in the ass).
Amazon claims that Kindle 2 holds 1500 books, but of what good are those books if you can’t see them, pick them up, and feel their life flow? Kindle for me? Never. Alas, even as I 
pontificated about how Kindle was the harbinger of the end of modern society as we know it, there was another part of me greedily eyeing that little toy, wanting to play with it, discover its secrets, get lost in its hypnotic embrace.
Article comments
1 - I'm not giving my name to a machine!
Sigh. If only I had a lot of nothing to talk about, maybe I could beg for a kindle for free too.
2 - Dr Dreadful
Well, aren't you just a little ray of sunshine?
3 - mschannon
Hey, Doc, sometimes one has to spread good cheer. Think of it as a gift...hey, Amazon, monitoring this? Gift? Giftiness?
And "I'm", go suck an egg, please.
4 - Clavos
Reminds me of an old joke, originally about a certain 19th century British writer:
Do you like Kindling?
I don't know, I've never owned a Kindle.*
*The Devil made me do it.
5 - Mark Schannon
Clavos,
I shall say a prayer over you...better yet, I'll get Ruvy to say one. That may work better with you know WHO.
In Jameson Veritas
Vita Brevis, Kindle2 Longa