When it comes to Twitter, people can be all about it, or look at it much the way Zoolander and Hansel stare at a computer. This was the case for the Internet early on; a brilliant yet desperately undersexed faction of computer geeks were blown away by services like Telnet and listservs, whereas the rest of the world could not see a practical use for it. Hence the early slogan among early-1990s surface-dwellers: "E-mail: For People Who Have Never Seen Vaginas!"
These days at work, absolutely nobody can understand why I'm on Twitter, and I've persuaded exactly zero co-workers to get an account. Yet I can convince two people to switch to diet pop.
Hey, It's not for everyone. That's fine. It's definitely not for the makers of SuperNews, whose online short "Twouble With Twitters" portrays a hip young protagonist named Derek enduring his annoying cubicle neighbor Craig loudly narrating everything he writes on Twitter. Derek's never heard of Twitter, and Craig, taken aback with horror, tries to explain it, failing miserably. ("T-T-T-The latest social-networking micro ... bloggy thingy!") After Derek's interest quickly wanes, Craig magically whisks him away "into the Twittersphere," where they're greeted by the site's logo, some kind of bird, who daintily explains "you can tell everyone what you're doing or thinking at all times, no matter how trivial, mundane or embarrassing."
What happens next is where the video gets it so fucking wrong.
Craig explains his love for Twitter by saying, "It's like I'm hanging out with my friends all the time." Derek rains on his parade (literally — with lightning!) by saying they aren't his friends, and as the clouds gather, Derek shouts, "NONE OF YOU HAVE ANY FRIENDS!"
(In all fairness, the ensuing whale riot was pretty damn funny.)
But the thesis of this video is perfectly aligned with America's favorite Facebook hater, Time's Claire Suddath, who said, "most people aren't funny, they aren't insightful, and they share way too much." Ergo, there's a motorboatload of boring, mindless, and uninteresting Twitter users out there, therefore the entire experience is a waste of time and ruining society.
Article comments
1 - Aaron McMullan
wonderful, Mr Sussman - I must say i'm intrigued by Twitter, but have avoided it for reasons of not wanting to be slapped up the teeth once every forty-five seconds with that Great & Terrible Truth - that all my friends are infinitely wittier and funnier and sharper than me. No man nor woman needs to be confronted with that.
2 - kelly
I use Twitter too! It's funny how quotes like LOOK AT XXXX in white bikini can get so many RTs on twitter (and elsewhere).
3 - Susan Keeping
I guess I chose wisely, most of the people I follow on Twitter don't twit about their mundane existences. And if they do it's usually entertaining. I didn't go crazy and follow everyone under the sun...maybe that is the key.
I don't twit everything I do in my day, just like I don't change my Facebook status hourly. I mainly twit articles I have read or written and sites I think people should visit. And hey, following those legitimate celebrity twitters is fun...